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Things in video games which are normal

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  • 27-03-2008 4:04pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 9,030 ✭✭✭


    There's a similar thread to this in AH but a game one might work.

    Basically, what are normal in video games that would never happen in real life?

    I'll start the ball rolling.



    -Elite S.T.A.R.S members are always dispatched on dangerous missions in zombie infested areas with nothing but pea shooters and cutlery.
    -Green marijuana can be mixed with red marijuana to make you fighting fit again.
    -If you've been shot multiple times in the head, drinking cola or eating a burger will fix all your wounds.
    -Crack government troops are always armed with crappy pistols as standard issue whereas disorganised rebels have all manners of dangerous guns.
    -In survival horror games it's a really really good idea for you all to split up, with your friends armed with shotguns and magnums going together down brightly lit corridors whereas you must take your rimfire pistol down a dark and ominous passageway alone.


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    People dont mind you walking into their houses un-announced and looking through your drawers and cupboards for items you may find useful on your quest

    Most people can carry any number of items unhindered

    Random strangers may have information relevant to your quest

    People only have a set walking pattern


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭folan


    if you die, you loose your experience and start again, or your friend has to reserect you!

    most guns have only a finite number of bullets, but crappy pistols have infinite.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    You can repeatedly crash your Aston Martin or other fancy car with no fear of damage or losing the race.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    You start off with a rubbish weapon compared to everyone else, baseball bat, knife or just your fist. :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,030 ✭✭✭Lockstep


    RPGs:

    People randomly walk up to you and say "Hi, this is Noobville" or whatever the name of the town is.
    If someone did that in real life you'd think they were cracked.


    Noone works (except shopkeepers and guards)


    Hygiene facilities DO NOT EXIST.


    The grim reaper has always fulfilled his quota of souls for the day.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    I like this thread in theory, though it has not yet delivered. I'm almost certain there was a much better one of these a long time ago.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,607 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn


    c - 13 wrote: »
    People dont mind you walking into their houses un-announced and looking through your drawers and cupboards for items you may find useful on your quest

    Didn't your character get arrested for just this RPG cliche in Chronotrigger?

    Also, things that are quite quite normal in videogames,

    Little fat plumbers have more style and grace than well fit female explorers,

    Apparently staring at a pool of blood constitutes looking for clues,

    Despite having a grenade going off at your feet bringing you to deaths door hanging about for a few moments in cover fixes you right up, handy!

    You can't use a gun and a torch at the same time,

    Futuristic buildings security systems seem to be based almost entirely on colour coded key cards that, have themselves, been simply left lying about,

    Players in FPS' have to be content not to have any legs or feet, which is probably why they don't get invited to parties and hence why they are so ready to blow the crap out of anything to hand.

    How a lowly scientist seems to so at home with weapons of all kinds, not to mention tactics for dispatching headcrabs and antlions, not to mention never makes a move on Alex, whats going on there, maybe he can never find the right words to say, maybe he has a bogger accent and is anxious to hide it behind a wall of silence?


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,753 ✭✭✭qz


    Brakes need not be used while driving a car.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 23,183 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kiith


    Red barrels always explode, Painkillers can cure shotgun blasts to the chest, Resurrection is only a quicksave away, entering a town required a loading screen, women always have massive breats and wear barely anything, dark rooms that have a weapon in the middle of the room also have retractable walls with monsters in it.

    And finally, sexy women are always (eventually) attracted to me :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    CiDeRmAn wrote: »
    Didn't your character get arrested for just this RPG cliche in Chronotrigger?

    Cant remember TBH, you did in Oblivion if you were seen though.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,778 ✭✭✭sebastianlieken


    running everywhere u go.... (ud put marathon runners to shame)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,695 ✭✭✭allybhoy


    Most complex machinery like lighting systems,teleporters,cranes,generators always seem to be broke, however can be easily fixed by plugging in a simple plug and pulling a lever. Discarded boxes/crates always seem to hold ammo. Cars never run out of petrol. General food stuff like apples,bars,cans of coke can help repair otherwise mortal gunshot wounds etc.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,499 ✭✭✭Sabre0001


    The red button is usually dangerous

    No degree or knowledge of medicine is needed to patch up practically any wound

    Running is easy

    People that you need to help will usually a) get in your way b) run straight at people shooting at them c) refuse to follow you or will for a couple of steps and then stop

    Women must have breasts that are bigger than their heads if they are to serve any purpose

    It is possible to be involved in a discussion or the central character without actually saying anything to anyone

    Life is precious.....no, wait... It's not - No such thing as the circle of life, you are either capable of respawning (main character) or you are not (everything else)

    🤪



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,949 ✭✭✭BLITZ_Molloy


    There are alot of lists out there on this topic already.

    Every factory in videogames has crates but no pallets. How do they move the crates?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,478 ✭✭✭Bubs101


    The fact that terrorists tend to outnumber the police force of America by 10,000 to one


  • Subscribers Posts: 6,408 ✭✭✭conzy


    A 10 story drop may or may not kill you

    Most FPS protagonists have no LEGS!?!?!

    Ladders can be climbed without arms

    There are so many crates! Seriously when is the last time you saw a crate anywhere in real life?


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,067 ✭✭✭L31mr0d


    - grenades and rocket launchers can destroy a tank but have no effect on an aluminum door that has a keycard reader beside it
    - as a mans armour level increases it gets larger and heavier. as a womans armour level increases it turns into a gold bikini
    - A baddie can survive 10 shots to the heart but requires only 1 shot to the head to kill them
    - Everyone runs faster with a knife in their hand
    - Firing off your gun, running around jumping and doing squat thrusts in the corner is completely normal to people when they are having a conversation with you.


  • Legal Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,400 Mod ✭✭✭✭Maximilian


    This never happens in real life.


  • Registered Users Posts: 999 ✭✭✭cregser


    - Occasionally we build a wall or a row of bushes and have absolutely no intention of going beyond them.
    - Roads and paths don't actually get you everywhere. You need to climb ladders and jump across balconies to get places, especialy when imovable rubble blocks the road.
    - When you look down, your feet aren't always there.
    - Petrol stations are an unnecessary eyesore. You can only refuel at race track pit stops.
    - Everyone uses speakerphone.
    - There's always a thick mist a few kilometres away. When it closes in the zombies come out.
    - Very few people actually lip synch to what they're saying.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,561 ✭✭✭Rhyme


    c - 13 wrote: »
    People dont mind you walking into their houses un-announced and looking through your drawers and cupboards for items you may find useful on your quest
    Garretts Principle emot-idontknow.gif


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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,030 ✭✭✭Lockstep


    I just found this now:
    http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html


    My favorite points:
    Maginot Line Rule
    It is easy to tell which city/nation is the next conquest of the Evil Empire: its streets are filled with citizens who brag that the Empire would never dare attack them, and would be easily defeated if it tried. (This smug nationalism always fails to take into account the Empire's new superweapon.)

    Last Rule of Politics
    Kingdoms are good. Empires are evil.

    Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
    Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what.


    Nostradamus Rule
    All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.

    # But They Don't Take American Express
    Every merchant in the world -- even those living in far-off villages or hidden floating cities cut off from the outside world for centuries, even those who speak different languages or are of an entirely different species -- accepts the same currency.

    The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
    a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
    b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
    c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead

    Ayn Rand's Revenge
    Outside the major cities, there is no government whatsoever. Of course, perhaps that explains why it's so difficult and dangerous to get anywhere outside the major cities.

    If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!
    When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania


    Xenobiology Rule
    The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.

    # Guy in the Street Rule
    No matter how fast you travel, rumors of world events always travel faster. When you get to anywhere, the people on the street are already talking about where you've been. The stories of your past experiences will spread even if no witnesses were around to see them.
    # Wherever You Go, There They Are
    Wherever the characters go, the villains can always find them. Chances are they're asking the guy in the street (see above). But don't worry -- despite being able to find the characters with ease anytime they want to, the bad guys never get rid of them by simply blowing up the tent or hotel they're spending the night in. (Just think of it: the screen dims, the peaceful going-to-sleep-now music plays, then BOOM! Game Over!)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,295 ✭✭✭jonnybadd


    We go to ravenholm


  • Registered Users Posts: 890 ✭✭✭rejkin


    Rpg:

    - Places with enemies will continually respawn no matter how many times you kill them.

    -The main character nearly always comes from poor background and ends up saving the world with a few friends.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,499 ✭✭✭Sabre0001


    It is possible to build upon or learn new skills by repeating the same process over and over again - eg. If learning to cook, the same dish prepared a number of times will enable you to cook new things rather than just being great (and bored of) at the same dish...

    🤪



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,478 ✭✭✭Bubs101


    You can only ever be completely good or evil. No middle road. Also, if you are good or evil you must have stubble


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    A man can't carry a hand gun alone. Nope, somehow you manage to carry:
    -a knife/crow bar
    -2 pistols
    -shotgun
    -submachine gun
    -assult rifle
    -sniper rifle
    -grenades
    -assorted explosives
    -rocket launcher
    -and a newly developed something that out does any other weapon.
    All these weapons, and ammo for all is easily carried around in a school-bag sized pack pack.
    And they are readily available.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,997 ✭✭✭Grimebox


    Maximilian wrote: »
    This never happens in real life.

    sure about that? :p and another


  • Legal Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,400 Mod ✭✭✭✭Maximilian


    ok fair point :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    My Favorite from the linked list -
    # Adam Smith's Revenge
    By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 848 ✭✭✭armour87


    People can't swim


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