On being gay in Cavan.

Gadjodilo · 28-03-2008 9:05pm #1

Yes, folks. There are a few of us around the place. We don't have a very high profile. For one thing, there is no gay venue so we end up going to places like Mullingar or Kells. Indeed, the pub in Kells might be reaching the end of its days.

When we don't feel like leaving the town, we have to make do with places like McMahons, Brady's, the Farnham, the Imperial, An Sibin etc - the same places as the straights effectively.

While I don't go around stopping all and sundry on the street and telling them I'm from the other side of the fence, I am out and the ones I socialise with are all out too. Indeed, I've organised gay discos in places like the Kilmore and the Cavan Crystal in the last few years.

One couple in particular I go drinking with are well known around town and whereas as they've never got any hassle, they do sometimes get some curious questions from people that are almost endearing in their directness.

Anyway, what I'm trying to find out is the attitude of the majority community. What do ye think of gays? If ye saw two guys dancing in a night club, would ye have a problem? (I've seen it myself in Cavan and they weren't anyone I knew.) Do ye know many gays from Cavan? Do they socialise around here or do they head off to the 'scene' in Dublin?

Thanks.....

Gadjodilo · 28-03-2008 9:06pm

P.S. If there are some very diligent moderators around the place, PLEASE don't switch this thread to the LGBT forum. I want Cavan heteros to see it.

Thanks!

flanum · 28-03-2008 9:53pm

nah, shouldnt see any probs for gays these days in cavan, maybe a decade or so ago it was a lot worse, i know a few gays male and female who inevitably opted for "scenes" in dub/london etc over the years. but id say in all fairness, cavan has fairly cosmopolitised in the last few years... college... immigrants etc. i wouldnt bat an eye if i saw gays being openly affectionate in pubs/clubs etc.
of course you are always going to get the odd eejits, you get them everywhere....

different times man!

Saibh · 28-03-2008 10:12pm

myself personally i only know of 1 or 2 people who are gay but i wouldn't know them personally.

it wouldn't bother me at all if i saw any gay couples dancing etc. but there is always some idiots around i would imagine in any town or city who would make some passing comments but in my opinion they are arrogant

Gadjodilo · 29-03-2008 1:25pm

Thanks for the replies, folks. This kind of mirrors my experience too.

Any gainsayers?

kimsmith63 · 30-03-2008 11:01pm

live and let live g, i think these days people are far more excepting and the odd few that have a problem with it arent worth worrying about

Debracd · 31-03-2008 12:11am

I won't ask you what you do in your bedroom so long as you don't as me what I do in mine

After that, who gives a crap?

I have a couple of gay friends, they live in Dublin though, DH's best mate is gay, doesn't bother me in the slightest(dh is not his type

).

Gadjodilo · 31-03-2008 9:30am

kimsmith63 wrote: »

live and let live g, i think these days people are far more excepting and the odd few that have a problem with it arent worth worrying about

I think that's the way most people feel. I know one guy though who had a very close friend who basically had severed all contact when the guy I know came out to him.

Gadjodilo · 31-03-2008 9:31am

Debracd wrote: »

I won't ask you what you do in your bedroom so long as you don't as me what I do in mine After that, who gives a crap?

I have a couple of gay friends, they live in Dublin though, DH's best mate is gay, doesn't bother me in the slightest(dh is not his type ).

I wouldn't tell you what I do in my bedroom anyway. You'd be bored to tears. If anyone ever asked me, I'd have to make something up.:o

JupiterKid · 04-04-2008 10:13pm

It's great that other posters from Cavan are so tolerant and open minded - but there must be precious few venues for LGBT people to meet up in and around Cavan?

Is the GLAM Carnaross gay disco still going these days?

Gadjodilo · 05-04-2008 12:43pm

JupiterKid wrote: »

It's great that other posters from Cavan are so tolerant and open minded.

I'm from here. I know the story. They just want to get their paws on the Pink Euro.:D

JupiterKid wrote: »

But there must be precious few venues for LGBT people to meet up in and around Cavan?

There aren't any. We just go to the mainstream venues.

JupiterKid wrote: »

Is the GLAM Carnaross gay disco still going these days?

Nope. The guy stopped running them due to lack of interest. He was losing money so there was no point....

How's life in Gaire these days? I must drop in again some time soon and say hello to the old gang.

jawlie · 10-04-2008 1:24pm

Gadjodilo wrote: »

How's life in Gaire these days? I must drop in again some time soon and say hello to the old gang.

I looked at gaire a few times but it seems to be the resting home for the socially inadequate. Have you actually read any of their threads in their message boards - they inevitably descend into the same personalities polishing each others egos and the subject of the thread of little or no consequence. I think it's a grubby little site, certainly when compared to boards.ie.

Gadjodilo · 11-04-2008 9:24pm

jawlie wrote: »

I looked at gaire a few times but it seems to be the resting home for the socially inadequate.

Ouch! I used to post there a lot and I think that I'm exceedingly socially adequate.

jawlie wrote: »

Have you actually read any of their threads in their message boards - they inevitably descend into the same personalities polishing each others egos and the subject of the thread of little or no consequence. I think it's a grubby little site, certainly when compared to boards.ie.

Yes, indeed. More often than not, they leave serious scratch marks on each other's egos. A lot of interesting people left and it got dumbed down. I think threads like Fanny Farts, The Gaire Vomitorium and Most Disgusting Fart did it for me.

squirrel505 · 22-08-2008 7:02am

I'd have a problem with that, cause I'm not the one doing the kissing!:pac::pac::pac::eek::eek::eek: lol! ^_^

facetheball · 01-09-2008 7:01pm

It must be terrible. Being from cavan.

muincav · 01-09-2008 10:56pm

should I start a thread on being Straight in Cavan....no, because nobody wants it....so why bother starting this? you are Gay...Get over it...:mad:

Farls · 05-09-2008 11:44am

muincav wrote: »

should I start a thread on being Straight in Cavan....no, because nobody wants it....so why bother starting this? you are Gay...Get over it...:mad:

I concur.

richie_os · 16-09-2008 12:20am

hmmm

CDfm · 16-09-2008 12:43am

WE know why you go to Mullingar & Kells - yer too mean to pay the cover charge in the local venues.

Now thats treatin ya like all other Cavan people.

Bedhead · 16-09-2008 5:05pm

I am originally from Cavan and recently moved back here after living in Galway, London and Dublin. I have no gay friends in Cavan which is odd because lots of my friends from Dublin are gay however some of my Cavan friends have gay friends but I don't know them personally. I did see a few gay couples in various spots about town in recent weeks though. I'm fairly certain in this day and age people who would be prejudiced towards gay people are few and far between and as some of the previous posters said - if they do exist, they are no worth giving a second thought to.

CDfm · 16-09-2008 10:48pm

muincav wrote: »

should I start a thread on being Straight in Cavan....no, because nobody wants it....so why bother starting this? you are Gay...Get over it...:mad:

the point of the thread is that people in Cavan might be mean to them

you might think this is an unfair stereotype on Cavan people

Im not gay - but Gadjodilo might have a point - but having reread your post Im confused at the lack of demand for a straight Cavan thread -so Gadjodilo you might be in luck after all

:D:D

gazzer · 17-09-2008 5:24pm

Bedhead wrote: »

I am originally from Cavan and recently moved back here after living in Galway, London and Dublin. I have no gay friends in Cavan which is odd because lots of my friends from Dublin are gay however some of my Cavan friends have gay friends but I don't know them personally. I did see a few gay couples in various spots about town in recent weeks though. I'm fairly certain in this day and age people who would be prejudiced towards gay people are few and far between and as some of the previous posters said - if they do exist, they are no worth giving a second thought to.

I recently moved to Cavan with my partner. Have only been out in one pub in Cavan in the last couple of months though but plan to head out more. Havnt had any problems so far. Everybody in work knows about us and have never had any problems there either.

muincav · 18-09-2008 9:49pm

CDfm wrote: »

the point of the thread is that people in Cavan might be mean to them

you might think this is an unfair stereotype on Cavan people

Im not gay - but Gadjodilo might have a point - but having reread your post Im confused at the lack of demand for a straight Cavan thread -so Gadjodilo you might be in luck after all :D:D

JEEZ dude! this is 2008, even in Cavan...and no we are not mean to gay's, but we dont expect to have to treat them any better than the rest...If I want to meet straight people Im not gonna start a threat hear and then whinge and whine because I cant meet them,,,,because I know you just gotta get out there and meet them in person....

CDfm · 18-09-2008 10:48pm

muincav wrote: »

JEEZ dude! this is 2008, even in Cavan...and no we are not mean to gay's, but we dont expect to have to treat them any better than the rest...If I want to meet straight people Im not gonna start a threat hear and then whinge and whine because I cant meet them,,,,because I know you just gotta get out there and meet them in person....

LOL I have straight friends from Cavan and am glad you cleared that up.

Always thought that jokes about Cavan people being mean are undeserved.

Gadjodilo · 20-09-2008 1:09pm

muincav wrote: »

should I start a thread on being Straight in Cavan....no, because nobody wants it....so why bother starting this? you are Gay...Get over it...:mad:

I explained why I started this thread in the first post. It's always a good idea to read the original message before blundering into a thread with your ha'pence worth. Actually, it's basic cop-on.

Same goes for your stool pigeon: Farls.

Gadjodilo · 20-09-2008 1:11pm

CDfm wrote: »

LOL I have straight friends from Cavan and am glad you cleared that up.

Always thought that jokes about Cavan people being mean are undeserved.

Okay, lots of posts here to catch up on. I'll get back to them later.

I don't mind Cavan jokes. I don't mind gay jokes. That's Irish society; everyone gets slagged. There are even breeder* jokes.....!

* = straight people

wakachaka · 16-06-2009 10:20pm

It is terrible...living in cavan. Being gay and having (if you excuse the overused phrase) no outlet!!

I live in cavan and have tried to make local gay friends but they are terribly insular and closeted. And never want 'just friends'.

BORED!

gazzer · 17-06-2009 11:57am

wakachaka wrote: »

It is terrible...living in cavan. Being gay and having (if you excuse the overused phrase) no outlet!!

I live in cavan and have tried to make local gay friends but they are terribly insular and closeted. And never want 'just friends'.

BORED!

Wakachaka. Sorry to hear that you feel this way. Do you go up to the gay bars in Dublin at all? The Pride Festival is starting later in the week and the pride parade is on on Sat 27th June. It should be a good day and there will be tons of things on.

I very rarely go out in Cavan to the bars. I dont really know where the best pubs to go to are. I tend to go out in Dublin every other weekend.

wakachaka · 17-06-2009 3:47pm

Haha! Thats not true Celty! I know a few high profile players/hurlers who aren't OUT!

And Gazzer, don't take me the wrong way but I'm not gonna top myself! I have a long term partner and we have a great life. But he lives 2hrs away and only get to spend the weekends together.

All i ask is that there are guys out there who are willing to form friendships, NOT based on sex but respect and common interests.

Even someone to have a few pints with during the week!

Mr Magnolia · 17-06-2009 3:51pm

celt262, I've deleted your post and infracted you for it.

gazzer · 17-06-2009 3:53pm

wakachaka wrote: »

Haha! Thats not true Celty! I know a few high profile players/hurlers who aren't OUT!

And Gazzer, don't take me the wrong way but I'm not gonna top myself! I have a long term partner and we have a great life. But he lives 2hrs away and only get to spend the weekends together.

All i ask is that there are guys out there who are willing to form friendships, NOT based on sex but respect and common interests.

Even someone to have a few pints with during the week!

Fair enough. I had visions of you living out in the middle of nowhere with nobody to talk to

. Im lucky in that myself and my partner both got jobs here and were able to move at the same time. Well Im up for drinks and making new friends and dont worry I wont jump your bones. Im very happy with my partner (12 years and counting).

On being gay in Cavan.

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