Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Any Single Ladies in here?

Options
1…45679

Comments

  • Options
    #242
    jesus_thats_gre
    Registered Users Posts: 17,441 ✭✭✭✭jesus_thats_gre


    ChewChew wrote: »
    A mature 27 year old guy. . . oh man. . . where have you been??? hahaha :D

    Ladies.. . . I enjoyed this conversation so much last night, I went out today and bought myself a big bunch of flowers and a tasty box of chox. I'm extremely happy. :D:p

    28 this day next week too ;)

    Flowers and a box of chocolates should be winging it's way next week ;)


  • Options
    #243
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Sassy* wrote: »
    Hi, definitely positive attitudes to be found in here. Im new to the boards and just had to join this thread.

    I'm a single lady at the moment and have been for the best part of 3 years bar some short romances.... love my job, friends, and would be considered 'pretty' by some im sure :o. I go on dates with guys i really like but i dont get all lovey dovey and tend to lose interest quite quickly! Can you be too settled in single life?

    I definitely think you can and it is a bit worrying especially as you get older.
    Maybe the "really like" is the problem....maybe you need more than that.


  • Options
    #244
    GuanYin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,552 ✭✭✭✭GuanYin


    Recently split fromy my partner. I agree with Moonbaby, being single is something you should and can learn to appreciate.

    My god, the joy of being able to stay at home, turn off the phone, run a bath and read a book without someone making a surprise call over or being annoyed you don't answer texts.


  • Options
    #245
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    PSI wrote: »
    Recently split fromy my partner. I agree with Moonbaby, being single is something you should and can learn to appreciate.

    My god, the joy of being able to stay at home, turn off the phone, run a bath and read a book without someone making a surprise call over or being annoyed you don't answer texts.

    Being able to sit through desperate housewives without having to cope with someone else feeling the need to tell you they don't get it, non stop for an hour.
    Or decideing it is an opportune time to give a little of that attention you've been giving out about or for having a big man crisis.

    Holy mother of God its is great!


  • Options
    #246
    Jules
    Registered Users Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    jesus_thats_gre wrote: »
    28 this day next week too ;)

    Flowers and a box of chocolates should be winging it's way next week ;)

    Em hem.... Behave! Another post like that and you will feel the power of my ban stick!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #247
    cuckoo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,945 ✭✭✭cuckoo


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    I definitely think you can and it is a bit worrying especially as you get older.
    Maybe the "really like" is the problem....maybe you need more than that.

    I'm not sure if it's possible to get 'too settled' in single life - but i do know that my expectations for a relationship are higher after a bit of the Single Life. If i've had a few months of a great relationship with Me, then i'm not going to settle for a not-so-great relationship with Someone Else.

    I just sometimes worry that i've become so used to having the whole bed to myself, to kick and move about in all night long as i sleep that if I do like someone enough to have a sleep over they'll run away in horror (and bruised) the next morning. :o

    Also, i live by myself, and i'm not a Monica about it but i do like my things being left the way i have them arranged, my space is very personal so someone opening drawers/etc would probably lead to a little bit of tension.


  • Options
    #248
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    I'm starting to have fun being single. Only very recently did I realise that sometimes attached people can be judgemental and in some cases, quiet ridiculous in what they say. I've had friends tell me to just go out with A, B or C just so I'm not single. That's what opened my eyes and stopped me feeling so bad because it showed me just how insecure and narrow minded some attached people are. They get so used to being part of a pair that they begin to lose their identity and from my understanding, become insecure and unsure. They're almost too stable and begin to see everything as black and white. Obviously not all couples are like this but I have noticed people seem to have a problem with somebody being single. Maybe they're threatened by it. I don't know but I'm sure most of you ladies here have had the whole "so how's the love life?" / "have you met anyone special?" / "Are there no fellas on the scene??"... etc.. Can people not accept that being single isn't a bad thing?

    There's a ridiculous notion out there that 'if it's single, fix it'! It took my friend being an absolute troll to actually make me see that being single is good, it allows me to re-establish what I may have sacrificed through relationships. What she said to me actually had the opposite effect on me. She basically said that if I don't cop on and hook up with somebody I'll be alone forever!!! WTF!!!! :eek: Hardly, I'm too young to worry about that rubbish and while that statement hurt me at first I soon realised that all she'd done was shown me how insecure she was that she needed a relationship to feel complete. I'm too young to just 'settle' for somebody I have no spark for! I'm not single because I don't attract men, I receive lots of offers, but I don't see the point in pretending to feel for somebody just to feel secure. It's cruel on the guy and it's only wasting my own time.

    Just go out and have fun, the best relationships always pop up when you're not looking for them! ;)





    (btw - attached ladies, this wasn't aimed at you specifically, I wasn't suggesting that being in a relationship made you judgemental, not by any means. I ws referring to girls that are in relationships just to feel safe and validated. Apologies if the post seemed to take a slap at girls in relationships. It didn't, just the girls who expect everyone else to find a partner! :))


  • Options
    #249
    jesus_thats_gre
    Registered Users Posts: 17,441 ✭✭✭✭jesus_thats_gre


    Being single is great. It has it's obviou shortcomings :D but you should certainly do your best to enjoy the single life while you can. I really do think that it is a dangerous game constantly longing to be in a loving/caring relationship. It will happen eventually and it always happens when you are least expecting it.

    I also think that girls would have a far higher opinion of men that they presently do if they adopted that attitude. For me, guys are either in the mindset of being in a relationship or nor. When they are in the right mindset, the relatiobship will not be a struggle and he won't be putting up any barriers. When they aren't in the right mindset, you will know about it.


  • Options
    #250
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    jesus_thats_gre wrote: »
    Being single is great. It has it's obviou shortcomings :D but you should certainly do your best to enjoy the single life while you can. I really do think that it is a dangerous game constantly longing to be in a loving/caring relationship. It will happen eventually and it always happens when you are least expecting it.

    Exactly! ;)






    Lol you managed to say in a couple of lines what took me a bloody chapter to write!!! :D


  • Options
    #251
    cuckoo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,945 ✭✭✭cuckoo


    MizzLolly wrote: »

    There's a ridiculous notion out there that 'if it's single, fix it'!

    ...so is doesn't try and steal my man. Sadly, that is the motivation for some women.

    I'm no man stealin' femme fatale, but there are some women i know who will glue themselves to the sides of their fellas when single women are around them. Although, the continuance of this is partially my fault as when they start giving me a hard time for being single i like to pause, run the tip of my tongue just over my lips slowly, take a deep breath (so that the cleavage is enhanced) and say "but.....then i would only be able to have sex with only one man...why limit myself when there is so much to experience?" This results in death stares from the girlies and their boyfs blushing/coughing/adjusting their trousers. (sometimes i am easily amused :p)

    In a way it's kind of sweet that these women are so into their men that they assume that all other women must want him.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #252
    ChewChew
    Moderators Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭ChewChew


    jeepers. . . well said MizzLolly. . I couldnt have put it any better myself!!

    About 2 weeks ago, I was having tea with my Nana and she kept going on and on and on about me not having a guy in my life and how perfect my 2 sisters are (one is married and the other is getting married in a few weeks) and why wasnt I like them instead of going out boozing with my mates and not looking for a guy.

    I dont want to go out every weekend 'looking' for a guy. I want it to happen when its supposed to. But it is almost frowned down upon to be the single gurl.


  • Options
    #253
    Sassy*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭Sassy*


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    I definitely think you can and it is a bit worrying especially as you get older.
    Maybe the "really like" is the problem....maybe you need more than that.


    Yes, i do not want to be referred to as spinster at any point in my life if i can help it ;) you could be on to something there moonbaby, though ive had chemistry with plenty of guys, i find it hard to make time for someone special in my life.....too long being single maybe.

    Agree with you mizzlolly, i dont feel the need to question why my friends are with their partners all the time... so why should we receive the comments about being unattached, maybe we should start.... "so, why are you going out with a fella like him??" :D


  • Options
    #254
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    cuckoo wrote: »
    If i've had a few months of a great relationship with Me, then i'm not going to settle for a not-so-great relationship with Someone Else.

    That is exactly how I feel right now.
    But I am also at a stage where I will making some big decisions as to where life is taking me. I really want to pull on my globetrotters and take a wander.
    I was convinced my last relationship was a keeper, and I was preparing myself to sacrifice too much of my own direction, to facilatate its future.

    So I can't see myself giving a LTR a chance until I feel happy with where I am. That is going to take literally years.
    And like you I opposed to the idea of leading someone on.


  • Options
    #255
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    cuckoo wrote: »
    when they start giving me a hard time for being single i like to pause, run the tip of my tongue just over my lips slowly, take a deep breath (so that the cleavage is enhanced) and say "but.....then i would only be able to have sex with only one man...why limit myself when there is so much to experience?" This results in death stares from the girlies and their boyfs blushing/coughing/adjusting their trousers. (sometimes i am easily amused :p)

    :D


  • Options
    #256
    Blush_01
    Registered Users Posts: 5,016 ✭✭✭Blush_01


    It's a bit strange, I've just started a new job and everyone (bar me) seems to be in a long term relationship - either married, engaged or going out for at least half a decade. I find that really strange.


  • Options
    #257
    eclectictrek
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭eclectictrek


    Im your sista on the single front for the last 5 months...was SO hard to adopt to such a change at first (Doubt im the first to say that in fairness) but its unbelievable the amount of time you have to do so much!! Not meaning i spent 100% of my time with him of course. The best bit is all the new people you meet too from doing all the new things you might not have when in the relationship ya gets me?? The way to be i tell ya:D


  • Options
    #258
    johnnyskeleton
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 14,503 Mod ✭✭✭✭johnnyskeleton


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    I receive lots of offers, but I don't see the point in pretending to feel for somebody just to feel secure. It's cruel on the guy and it's only wasting my own time.

    Just go out and have fun, the best relationships always pop up when you're not looking for them! ;)


    Is there no middle ground in between being single and in a relationship? Can you not just have a bit of banter with someone for a while and then move on or not as appropriate?


  • Options
    #259
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    johnnyskeleton wrote: »
    Is there no middle ground in between being single and in a relationship? Can you not just have a bit of banter with someone for a while and then move on or not as appropriate?


    Yeah obviously, I'm not Mother Theresa! That's what I was referring to when I said go out and have fun. Of course meet, text, chat to guys but don't get involved in a serious relationship if it is only to make yourself feel more secure. It's cruel and pointless.


  • Options
    #260
    ChewChew
    Moderators Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭ChewChew


    I've been single a few months now, and I'm enjoying my time alone and really having lots of fun, but my problem is the fact that now I'd like to meet guys and see how it goes and do the whole lets be friends first thing and swap numbers and blah blah blah but thats so hard because any guys I have met are just looking for NSA or straight away bring sex into it. Why cant a guy be a friend without a hidden agenda or dropping sexual innuendo into the equasion????

    my second problem is that fact that my best mate is a guy!!! so that means that other guys dont approach me, because I'm already with a guy. . . So how does one get over this obsticle???


  • Options
    #261
    johnnyskeleton
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Politics Moderators Posts: 14,503 Mod ✭✭✭✭johnnyskeleton


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    Yeah obviously, I'm not Mother Theresa! That's what I was referring to when I said go out and have fun. Of course meet, text, chat to guys but don't get involved in a serious relationship if it is only to make yourself feel more secure. It's cruel and pointless.

    I mostly take issue with the idea of wasting time - i.e. going out with someone that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with.

    It seems to me you think either:
    1) single, flirting, etc

    or else

    2) long term relationship

    without allowing for, for example, going out with someone for say, 2 months, without expecting a deep or long term relationship out of it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #262
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    ChewChew wrote: »
    my second problem is that fact that my best mate is a guy!!! so that means that other guys dont approach me, because I'm already with a guy. . . So how does one get over this obsticle???


    Find an "Alpha Male"

    @ Im 6'4 and pretty broad.. i ve a face like a kicked arse.. the only reason my ex stays in contact with me is to scare away the freaks that sometimes hound her abd her friend in night clubs...

    I think anyway, that there are more guys out there than you think that are not just interested in the "one thing" You just need to find them :confused:


  • Options
    #263
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    I agree.

    I'm not saying ALL men are after sex but there are a lot who are.

    The others are into serious relationships.


    And as I said above, it is very, very wrong to lead a fella on and allow him to believe the relationship is going somewhere.

    You can't win, you either have casual 'relationships' with a guy who may just run off as soon as somebody else catches his eye.

    Or you can have a serious relationship with a genuinely lovely guy who does not deserve to be messed around.

    A guy who is willing to have a casual fling or a friendship with 'extras' is obviously not looking for anything serious, which is fine as long as he makes that clear but from a womans perspective this isn't the type of man you really want to spend your time on. What if Mr. Right did come along but walked straight by because you were holding some randomers hand?!

    By all means go out, flirt, meet guys, go on dates etc.. but don't get into a 'couple' situation with somebody if you're not really feeling it.


    Chew Chew... erm... You could ask him to act realllllllly flamboyant and camp in public so they'll all just think he's your hairdresser or something!! ;) lol


  • Options
    #264
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    johnnyskeleton wrote: »
    I mostly take issue with the idea of wasting time - i.e. going out with someone that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with.

    It seems to me you think either:
    1) single, flirting, etc

    or else

    2) long term relationship

    without allowing for, for example, going out with someone for say, 2 months, without expecting a deep or long term relationship out of it.

    Because we enjoy single time! That's what the thread was started for.
    2 month long 'relationships' seem more acceptable to men. Women generally want something more. Fair enough there are some who don't but I can't speak for them.

    I'm not into casual flings where he can up and leave and owe you nothing, not even an explanation. I'm worth more than that. :)


  • Options
    #265
    ChewChew
    Moderators Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭ChewChew


    mizzlolly, Your completely right.

    What I do like, is the fact that guys who are not looking for a relationship do actually tell girls they are only looking for NSA. . so thats cool, and I respect that alot!! But the guys who are looking for a bit more are out there. . . I just havent figured out where yet.. .


  • Options
    #266
    Tragedy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,056 ✭✭✭Tragedy


    To be honest, I dont really understand where are all the ladies on this thread are coming from with the "oh man its so cool not having a guy around" because...well.. the things that have been said as being great being single again(not sharing a bed, not having surprise calls over, not having a guy being annoying while you watch TV etc etc) seem more like a problem with the men you were with, rather than relationships in general.
    What do I know though, i'm just a spring chicken :D Maybe when you get to a certain stage in a relationship they all turn that way!!

    I do think friends with benefits/NSA is mostly a male thing but more importantly: a personality thing. Some people can never be that close/intimate without needing or ending up feeling more, it just seems to be the majority are girls who feel like that. Honestly,for me single is just meandering along until the girl of my dreams sits down beside me in Iveagh Gardens one beautiful summer afternoon - in the meantime I'm not dicking about with girls just to be in a relationship, nor am I "loving playing the field" as some of my friends seem to. Just getting on with life and not letting it get in the way :pac:


  • Options
    #267
    ang
    Registered Users Posts: 52 ✭✭ang


    I'm single. All my friends are married/in relationships. Kind of get jealous of them sometimes! Being single is okay, but I do want to settle down some day.


  • Options
    #268
    sillymoo2007
    Registered Users Posts: 170 ✭✭sillymoo2007


    Tragedy wrote: »
    Honestly,for me single is just meandering along until the girl of my dreams sits down beside me in Iveagh Gardens one beautiful summer afternoon - :pac:

    What is it about iveagh gardens you must be at least the 5 or 6th person ive heard of lately going there.


  • Options
    #269
    citytillidie
    Registered Users Posts: 22,138 ✭✭✭✭citytillidie


    Been a single guy is even worse :(

    ******



  • Options
    #270
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    Tragedy wrote: »
    Honestly,for me single is just meandering along until the girl of my dreams sits down beside me in Iveagh Gardens one beautiful summer afternoon - in the meantime I'm not dicking about with girls just to be in a relationship, nor am I "loving playing the field" as some of my friends seem to. Just getting on with life and not letting it get in the way :pac:

    Aww Tragedy... :o



    That's what I think too and casual relationships just aren't my thing, never have been. I think they can be messy and hurtful at the end of the day.

    I'm not suggesting that being single is better than being in a relationship. That's all a matter of personal experience but I'm not gona continue to mope around or feel the need to 'fix' my single status to please other people

    I'll wait again until I feel a spark again!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #271
    ChewChew
    Moderators Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭ChewChew


    Tragedy & Mizzlolly. . .

    you are both totally right. There's no point in getting into a relationship when you dont feel the spark, and NSA almost always ends up leading to one party getting too emotionally involved and when that comes to head that person is left hurt. So NSA is never really something that works out for the benefit of 2 people.

    Like Mizzlolly, I am single at the mo. . but I'm not being dull and depressed about it. I'm enjoying it while it lasts and when things decide to change I'll also embrace that with open arms. At the minute. . life is good. :D


Advertisement