What do you single people do with all your spare time?

seraphimvc

hmm...glad i am now fully deal with life of being single!:)

in weekend,
studying,writing reports,learn some photoshop tricks,some tv games(i m quiting it!really feel time wasted tbh ah i am getting old i guess)...that's it!friends barely hook up in weekend...seems like a rule for young people eh?

love movie and would like to have a drink sometimes,but i just wouldnt go near cinema or pub on my own...i am somesort of moviephile!but i just cant stand it watching the movie alone...wonder how do some people able to do that??

being a single is just constantly fighting with boredom and loneliness:(s*cks!

Todoquetengo

SarahSassy wrote: »

So what do you do to fill time when all of your friends are off with their significant other?

I find the weekends can be long and tend to plan well ahead... I go out a lot (prob too much ) and watch a lot of dvd's.. In fact I dont really know what I do with my time and am just curious what other people do especially over the weekends.

SS

I do pretty much the same things as when I was in a relationship. Even when I was going out with my ex I was always meeting up with my friends and arranging stuff with them. It's kinda implied here that when you have a SO/OH you don't need anyone else and then you're in trouble when the relationship ends. I can understand being a bit lost when you first break up with someone cos it's easier when there is always someone to go to the cimema with, watch a DVD with, make dinner with etc. I found it took a while to get used to doing stuff on my own and enjoying having time to myself again.

But I'm always organising things with my friends, (couples and non-couples), or reading or watching crap TV or even running and sometimes I happily spend hours doing nothing and I love it!

P.s. Hugs to Twinkle, I know it's really hard right now but you will start enjoying the single life again, just give yourself a chance and keep active, join a club or group. And spend time with your family and friends, don't be afraid to tell them you still need them - break-ups are hard to get over and they have to understand that

Dudess

seraphimvc wrote: »

ah i am getting old i guess)...that's it!friends barely hook up in weekend...seems like a rule for young people eh?

What age are you? From your post I'd guess 45 at least, but I'm presuming you're younger?

i am somesort of moviephile!but i just cant stand it watching the movie alone...wonder how do some people able to do that?

Easily. I'm a complete moviephile - a bit obsessed with movies actually. That's why I keep away from the Film forum, I'd become too entangled altogether over there. When you go to a film, you literally watch a film and that's that. Why do you need company for that? If you were with someone and chatting to them during the film you'd be quite rightly lambasted.
You're letting stuff that's in your head become an obstacle.

Todoquetengo wrote: »

I do pretty much the same things as when I was in a relationship. Even when I was going out with my ex I was always meeting up with my friends and arranging stuff with them. It's kinda implied here that when you have a SO/OH you don't need anyone else and then you're in trouble when the relationship ends.

I think it depends on your friends too. It's clearly the case that some people forget about their friends when they're in a serious relationship - inexcusable really. I'm very lucky in that that's just alien among my friends. And it's even more inexcusable when they're living together. My friend used to spend the entire weekend with her boyfriend since she didn't get to see him at all during the week - totally fair enough. But she still headed out - it's just that he was nearly always there. Now that she's just moved in with him though, she says she's gonna be spending her weekends with the girls since she'll see him every day.

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

What age are you? From your post I'd guess 45 at least, but I'm presuming you're younger?

Why do you say that? I don't know any 45 year old gaming college students.

Where do you live Serphimcv?

Dudess

Because of the way she says "I am getting old" and "seems like a rule for young people". That's the language of a middle-aged person. I'm sorry to be harsh, but thinking yourself middle aged/resigning yourself to the inevitability of getting old so early on is not going to help you at all.

seraphimvc

Dudess wrote: »

Because of the way she says "I am getting old" and "seems like a rule for young people". That's the language of a middle-aged person. I'm sorry to be harsh, but thinking yourself middle aged/resigning yourself to the inevitability of getting old so early on is not going to help you at all.

lol just because people in my college gang gone home in weekend ,wexford,meath,mayo etc...no way to hook up i guess?while few of us in differents part of dublin probably wont come out either...young people means we college kids...

and for the gaming part ask every gamer,by the age of your early 20,your study/career is seriously tough and heavy ,you will soon having less time on your tv games + you will feel the time is wasted when you spend more on them! statement of i am old simply means we are grow up ,not allowed to spend hours days on one game like we were kids

while for walking alone to cinema + loney in the queue + lonely enjoy the movie with so many couples/group of people around you?i didnt mean that we talk while watching the movie,but after watching a movie(i assume we movie lover dont watch sh!te?) ,we sure have some comments ,like hows the movie,storyline,actors etc u know the stuffs ,watched it yourself and walk home yourself with that?i would love to share my opinion on the movies with anyone else (better if you have movie-knowing-friend of course).so going movie with some else is a must IMO.or i cant stand for the loneliness tbh ,especially after you watched some great movies (with touching moments?)but without anyone to talk to?i dont want my head to explode...

Dudess

I misunderstood you so. But you're in your early 20s??!! Crazy talk from ya! Get out there and have fun, girl!!

ztoical

Dudess wrote: »

When you go to a film, you literally watch a film and that's that. Why do you need company for that? If you were with someone and chatting to them during the film you'd be quite rightly lambasted.

+ 1 I don't get people who say they can't go to the cinema by themselves. I prefer going by myself most times cus I've worked in film and what I like/dislike about films and want to talk about after the film is usually not what any of my friends notice or care about. Also I go to the cinema ALOT - my last boyfriend actually complained and refused to go more then twice a week with me at one point so I just went on my own the rest of the week.

Todoquetengo wrote:

I do pretty much the same things as when I was in a relationship. Even when I was going out with my ex I was always meeting up with my friends and arranging stuff with them. It's kinda implied here that when you have a SO/OH you don't need anyone else and then you're in trouble when the relationship ends.

Another +1 - well said. I worry about friends who get into relationships and become so into it they loose touch with everyone else. When/if the relationship goes south they can find themselves with no friends. Most single people seem to have no issues filling their time, it seems more like those fresh out of long term relationships who find themselves with time on their hands as their friends have got use to not including them in single activities and it takes time to get back into a jive with people you've lost touch with.

I had a friend in a relationship and when our group of friends would be making plans to do something [cinema, pub, food, etc etc] they would have to ring the boyfriend to check if he had plans and alot of times he wouldn't but the day we'd arranged to meet he'd suddenly want to do something and my friend of course would drop everything for him. After awhile we just stopped including her in plans. When the relationship broke up it took awhile for us to remember to include her in any plans we'd make, it wasn't us being bitch or anything we'd just got so use to her being busy with boyfriend all the time.

Dudess

And she deserved it. Checking up to see if your boyfriend has plans for you is bad enough, but committing to your friends and then pulling out last minute because of your boyfriend is appalling. Can't stand women like that.

ztoical

Dudess wrote: »

And she deserved it. Checking up to see if your boyfriend has plans for you is bad enough, but committing to your friends and then pulling out last minute because of your boyfriend is appalling. Can't stand women like that.

I've one or two female friends who are like that but I've actually found gay men to be far worse for it.

watna

I had (notice the past tense!) a friend who was like that. She started going out with this guy who was a bit dodgy. We never saw her. She didn't come to anything anymore, and if she did would stay for half an hour and then he'd be there collecting her. He was really possesive and protective and very slowly worked on her so that she was always going on about how dangerous it was everywhere and how she couldn't go anywhere herself. If you wanted to see her you had to drive the 50 minutes to her house and whenever any of us did, he'd be sitting in the room listening to every word you said.

Needless to say it all went wrong and we don't see her any more. She just burned too many bridges. They broke up about a year or two after we stopped seeing her but from what I hear she's still a bit like that.

What's funny is my group of girls (that she used to be such a big part of) are closer than ever and we all have bfs. We see each other regularly and all go on a weeks hols together once a year - a girls holiday. I love the fact that even though I live with my bf, I see them regularly, and the thought of asking my bf what he was up to before I agreed to meet them apalls me! Yesterday we met up for the afternoon and spent 6 hours just chatting - and it certainly wasn't just about our bfs!

Dudess

I'm the very same. God it's so much healthier. And far better for a relationship. I like getting a kick out of seeing him - how is that gonna happen if I see him every spare minute?

watna

Dudess wrote: »

I'm the very same. God it's so much healthier. And far better for a relationship. I like getting a kick out of seeing him - how is that gonna happen if I see him every spare minute?

+1 Especially if you live with him.

He loves when I'm out with the girls. He can watch "boy films" and drink beer in peace for a few hours!

It's going to be weird when we get to NZ. I won't have the girls to meet up with and it'll probably take a while to make friends. He has a big bunch of friends over there so I think for a while we'll be doing everything together, until I meet more people. Maybe I should walk up to groups of girls in the street and ask them to be my friend!

Dudess

Ah you'll definitely meet people through him.

The only time I think it's excusable for people in relationships to see their mates on an extremely limited basis is when they have a baby.
Although my mate who has two small kids is often very lonely and bored, and loves it when we call up.

watna

watna wrote: »

I had (notice the past tense!) a friend who was like that. She started going out with this guy who was a bit dodgy. We never saw her. She didn't come to anything anymore, and if she did would stay for half an hour and then he'd be there collecting her. He was really possesive and protective and very slowly worked on her so that she was always going on about how dangerous it was everywhere and how she couldn't go anywhere herself. If you wanted to see her you had to drive the 50 minutes to her house and whenever any of us did, he'd be sitting in the room listening to every word you said.

Needless to say it all went wrong and we don't see her any more. She just burned too many bridges. They broke up about a year or two after we stopped seeing her but from what I hear she's still a bit like that.

Being in a relationship like that you have described sounds like a terrible ordeal.
I can't fathom why anyone who would claim to have been your friend, would cut you off, as a punishment for things you did under that pressure.
We are all going to mess up at one time or another, if the people who care about us can't look past that. We are all fudged.

watna

Moonbaby wrote: »

Being in a relationship like that you have described sounds like a terrible ordeal.
I can't fathom why anyone who would claim to have been your friend, would cut you off, as a punishment for things you did under that pressure.
We are all going to mess up at one time or another, if the people who care about us can't look past that. We are all fudged.

Well, she did some pretty messed up stuff to us all (individually) and then sent us all text messages telling us to "go fúck ourselves". It came out of the blue as well, none of us had been in touch with her for the last day or so and all got text messages with just those words in it. We tried to find out why exactly she told us all that but we couldn't get in contact with her to find out. We think he said something about us all to her but we're not sure because she wouldn't answer calls etc.

We didn't all get together and decided to cut her off because we felt like it or because her bf wasn't very nice. I was only using it as an example of girls who get so involved wth their bfs that it can be dangerous. I obviously couldn't include the full 6 months of goings on in posts so maybe you should think before being so quick to judge people.

Dudess

Moonbaby wrote: »

Being in a relationship like that you have described sounds like a terrible ordeal.
I can't fathom why anyone who would claim to have been your friend, would cut you off, as a punishment for things you did under that pressure.
We are all going to mess up at one time or another, if the people who care about us can't look past that. We are all fudged.

Well she has a mind of her own too.

Chinafoot

Sounds like that girl was in a very emotionally abusive relationship. Yeah she has a mind of her own, but depending on circumstances and the inidividuals involved it can be very difficult to see a way out of relationships like that. Same goes for those in physically emotional relationships. It's very, very easy to say "well you have a mind of your own, just walk away". If only we were all so strong, eh?

I agree that we shouldn't be judging watna because we don't know the ins and outs of what went on between her and her former friend, but equally I think watna perhaps didn't know everything that was happening with this girl and her controlling boyfriend and why she acted the way she did.


Anyway, this is all rather off-topic. I'm not single now, but when I was single more time was spent with friends or on things by myself. As geeky as it sounds, I used to read a lot more!

watna

Chinafoot wrote: »

I agree that we shouldn't be judging watna because we don't know the ins and outs of what went on between her and her former friend, but equally I think watna perhaps didn't know everything that was happening with this girl and her controlling boyfriend and why she acted the way she did.

I agree, we didn't have a clue what was going on between them, because she wouldn't talk about it. we weren't seeing her much anyway and when we were seeing her he was sitting in the room with us. Plus we were only 18 so were all very inexperienced. I think if it happened now, a good few years later I'd know how to deal with it better.

I like to think if she hadn't snapped like that and stopped talking to us things would be different now but I just don't know if that's true. I think it would have been hard to sustain things for another year or two the way we wer going. It's a very difficult situation and she was always easily swayed by people so I think he got a hold of her very quickly. It's interesting that you say it seemed like an emotionally abusive relationship, at the time, being young we didn't realise that but now I can see it clearly. Unfortunately for her, he persuaded her to drop out of college before she'd even done her first year so it's still having an affect on her. One of my friends meets her once every few months and she's always talking about going back to college again. It's so sad that it's still affecting her in such a big way.

watna

watna wrote: »

I obviously couldn't include the full 6 months of goings on in posts so maybe you should think before being so quick to judge people.

I have no interest in judgeing you.
I just wanted make the point, that it is a painful course of action to lose real friends over essentially petty problems.

But maybe you might consider that my comment can only be based on the information you present. Which you did in the context of discussing the consequences of becoming overly invested in your relationship.

The Sweeper

Take it to PM ladies. Back on topic.

BeatNikDub

Sleeping
Reading
Getting drunk
In the pub
Watching tv
Working
Dancing to drum and bass
All night parties
Hungover
Trying to motivate myself to excercise/do college work
Dreaming about what it would be like not being single

FLOOPER

Dudess wrote: »

I only spend long periods with himself at the weekends. On week nights I call to mates (including married/engaged ones/parents of small children), Friday night I go to his but not always, sometimes I go to a friend's for an Indian and a bottle of wine. Then Saturday night I head out with a group of mates and meet him too. I go exercising every evening, I go to the cinema (often alone as I'm not gonna be talking to another person there anyway and I'm a cinephile), I read and listen to music feverishly, I watch TV, I go round the shops.

To me, that kinda seems no different to the life of a single person.

That's beacuse it sounds like you are single from the time you say you spend with you're OH. I'm sure you do spend at least one night with him one on one, do you? Don't mean to be critical but I've seen a few posts here from a lot of people who almost seem to feel that their OH gets in the way of their life.

I'm sorry for being so blunt and I don't mean to question your life ( I have neither the right or facts to anyway) but I'm just out of a relationship recently and I really honestly feel the reason it didn't work was because she didn't want a relationship. It was just companionship she wanted. In fact, I would say that she wanted to be a married spinster - All the fun of being married without any of the commitment. She loved the outdoors. She loved her own life and company I sometimes felt like I was intruding on her. I don't blame her because I don't think she actuallly realised it.


Basically what I'm saying is that if your single life and life in a relationship are indisinguishable as regards free time, then there maybe a problem there. I'm not talking about you Dudess because I know nothing of your relationship or context with above.
Anyway I know this is a rant but I think it's on topic.

As for Twinkle. My heart goes out to you. You had me in tears and i'm at work here. I'm your age plus 10 and it's been about 2 months since our break and I still can't get a decent night's sleep. I'm lucky though as I'm in Dublin and have a half decent friend network but it really doesn't ease the pain. It's really really tough! We left on fairly decent terms but shew refuses to see me which is kinda killing me a bit. But I've given her the space. OK that's enough attention seeking.

Anyway hope your situation improves Twinkle and I know it will. Chin up. There's a lot of us out there in the same boat. If you're sporty there's probably a tag rugby team close by. Just ask at your nearest gym for suggestions about team events for girls. Good luck!

Dudess

It's cool. Nah it's not like that at all. I spend every weekend with him and I meet up with him during the week too, but he works long hours and is often extremely wrecked.
I like the way things are though - the spark hasn't gone. I could imagine it going if I was seeing him all the time.

Sleeping (I dont do it enough though), hangin out with friends, playing videogames against people (I never play on my own), Playing bass, acoustic guitar and the djembe drum, doing various martial arts, going to the gym, going to gigs, drinkin, eating, reading, watching movies, tryin to learn how to breakdance, watchin football, playin football and just general stuff really, nothin mad!

Rozabeez

..My friends don't exactly spend every spare moment with their 'significant other', weekends usually involve working or going out.

Little-Devil

SarahSassy wrote: »

So what do you do to fill time when all of your friends are off with their significant other?

I find the weekends can be long and tend to plan well ahead... I go out a lot (prob too much ) and watch a lot of dvd's.. In fact I dont really know what I do with my time and am just curious what other people do especially over the weekends.

SS

+2

Id do pretty much the same, probably watch more football then you though on the weekends.

girl_friday

I work... a lot!!!

I meet up with friends and family.

I go to the cinema/gigs.

I go to Boards meets and make new (mainly single) friends.

I do the normal cleaning the house etc. :rolleyes:

And now I am making it a priority to travel more and be more spontaneous. I'm off to London and Budapest before Christmas and then 6 weeks in Oz (hopefully) in March/April.

Some would say I don't have time for a relationship!! I like to think however that if the right guy came along we could do some of the above activities together! Life is for living!!!

JaneyMc

I spend as much time with my friends as possible, but I'm usually too exhausted to do anything during the week other than vegitate. When I'm at home I spend a lot of time listening to music, on the internet, sewing, reading. I have to spend atleast 2 nights by myself with no face to face contact for a few hours, otherwise people annoy me!

Then the other stuff I do only sometimes, concerts, local gigs, head away as often as I can afford.

Life is less hectic when your single which I'm loving at them moment.

Faddymackshyte

I find that I definitely have more time for myself than when I was single.
But I fill it by just taking it mad easy after a week of work, so the weekends are something I cherish. I watch films, hang out with friends and just have a general lounge about the house.
It can be tiring being single, but then most of the time, I enjoy not having to give attention to anyone other than myself!