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Friends relationship - what do you not like/like?

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  • 03-04-2008 10:27pm
    #1
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭


    I think it is great to be in a relationship but as an outsider looking in there are a couple of things I have seen in friends relationships which I would not like to have in a relationship of mine..

    For example, I have a friend whose husband doesnt speak to her very politely.... In fact he can be v rude but she doesnt seem to notice anymore...

    Another one is a friend whose fiance wont go to any functions with her e.g. christenings etc.

    The girls say they are happy but the above would be definite red flags for me in any relationship...

    What is it for you?


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    #2
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!

    P*sses me off! :mad:


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    #3
    Jules
    Registered Users Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    I had a friend who was in a relationship with a guy and he never introduced her to any of his friends. And never went out to places where they might of been seen by friends. She didn't seem to be worried about it... i would be seriously pissed off!


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    #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I like to keep out of things like that. I don't like to judge other peoples lives by my own standards.

    What does annoy me about my friends and their other halves.
    Is that certain friends find it impossible to keep the smallest bit of information to themselves.
    So their partners are privy to things I would prefer to keep private. Like medical problems, or reasons for relationship break ups.

    I just hate knowing that people who don't give a **** about me, and don't really know me, are spouting BS opinions about my life behind my back. :mad:


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    #5
    JaneyMc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭JaneyMc


    My friends boyfriend is like a child with a few drinks on him, a 6 year old child who has had too much coca cola and too many sweets. Ruins nights out. I like him otherwise though.


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    #6
    jellie
    Registered Users Posts: 15,503 ✭✭✭✭jellie


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi.

    i hate this, i have friends similar but not quite so extreme as to ring him all the way home in the taxi. its gotten to the stage where if we're going out i just presume the bfs will be there too. now theyre nice enough guys, i have no problem with them but sometimes it would be nice to just have all girls. i recently attempted to have a girly night but was told by 1 of them "oh i think X has already invited himself along"!

    The texting constantly annoys me too. God youre seeing me for a couple of hours, you probably saw him an hour ago, can you not cope with no contact for a whole 2 hours! my bf knows not to expect to hear from me for a bit if ive gone to meet the girls.

    This all irritates me & i have a bf, a couple of the girls in the group are single (1 in particular REALLY unhappy about it) so id imagine they find it even more annoying than i do.


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    #7
    Crumble Froo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    dont really have much to complain about here, except that when a friend is having difficulties in the relationship, it can be a bit awkward/weird tlaking about it when you know the b/f pretty well as well, particularly if you happen to be privvy to both sides. i tend to avoid that as much as possible, but not always possible.

    other than that... nothing worse than seeing a friend in a relationship going nowhere, being just walked over, and taking it like a willing puppy... knowing every time they go round to see the otehr half, that their hopes will get up , just to be let down and taken for granted later.


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    #8
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    SarahSassy wrote: »
    Another one is a friend whose fiance wont go to any functions with her e.g. christenings etc.
    ?

    a friend of mine went to his girlfriends nephew christening a couple of saturdays ago. is that expected? i can understand some things no problem, but his girlfriends nephew, i would assume that would just be family?
    MizzLolly wrote: »
    The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!

    P*sses me off! :mad:

    yes that drives me mad too with the lads. what the hell can they be talking about 24/7?

    Jules wrote: »
    I had a friend who was in a relationship with a guy and he never introduced her to any of his friends. And never went out to places where they might of been seen by friends. She didn't seem to be worried about it... i would be seriously pissed off!

    i dont know why he didnt introduce her to his mates, unless he has low self-esteem and is worried she might fancy one of them or something?


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    #9
    all the stars
    Registered Users Posts: 1,058 ✭✭✭all the stars


    i know someone who's other half is very possesive & jealous & immature.. that would drive me demented!


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    #10
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    i like all my friends husbands, they are good blokes. my friends are very much, "we are out feck him and the kids who cares" :)

    actually, one friends husband hits on me the whole time but i just laugh at him now


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    #11
    Mrs_Doyle
    Registered Users Posts: 1,187 ✭✭✭Mrs_Doyle


    Its easy to get smug about your own relationship, isn't it?

    I have friends, and when they tell me crazy things about their relationships, and I'm 'yes-ing' and 'no-ing' in all the right places, I'm often smirking on the inside thinking, "Mmm, me and Connundrum will never be like that".


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    #12
    DubLegs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 277 ✭✭DubLegs


    I have this one friend who is constantly breaking up and getting back together with her bf. I mean at a rate of once a month!
    She doesn't listen to any advice given to her, is constantly calling me in tears when i'm with my OH (even in the middle of night) and then expects me to forget everything that has gone on when they get back together and pretend nothing happened. Wouldn't mind be he's not the nicest of men - always rude, never wanting to be there and totally blanks my OH when we all together.

    Suppose i should just tell her that i don't want to be involved when it goes wrong the next time but I just feel sorry for her when it goes wrong.
    Thank god no kids involved.


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    #13
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!
    I can officially state I hate women like that. I wouldn't bother my arse making an effort to meet up with her.
    aye wrote: »
    a friend of mine went to his girlfriends nephew christening a couple of saturdays ago. is that expected? i can understand some things no problem, but his girlfriends nephew, i would assume that would just be family?
    And I think this should be applicable to weddings. Why the fukk should someone invite a friend's/relation's boyfriend or girlfriend whom they barely know and who doesn't want to be there anyway? It's a pathetic tradition, made all the more pathetic by those who blindly comply with it.


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    #14
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    Jules wrote: »
    I had a friend who was in a relationship with a guy and he never introduced her to any of his friends. And never went out to places where they might of been seen by friends. She didn't seem to be worried about it... i would be seriously pissed off!

    That would send up a flag straight away that he was in another relationship!


    Mine would be, one boyfriend/husband doesn't do anything with the kid.
    Another one can be quite rude when were out, he wants the girls attention all the time and will call her while she's talking to other people until she has to stop the conversation and talk to him.
    All in all the relationships work for those couples, thats why they're together:D


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    #15
    Femelade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭Femelade


    aye wrote: »
    a friend of mine went to his girlfriends nephew christening a couple of saturdays ago. is that expected? i can understand some things no problem, but his girlfriends nephew, i would assume that would just be family?

    well if my sister has another baby, of course i would expect my boyfriend to come with me to the christening...He knows all my family really well, i think it would be bad of him not to go with me tbh...unless he had a good excuse of course..


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    #16
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    There are occasions though that I'd rather bring my best mate to than my boyfriend. Why does it always have to be the person's partner?


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    #17
    Femelade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭Femelade


    well i dont really have any close friends really, i have one best friend who lives in Limerick, so we dont see eachother much, so apart from her, my boyfriend is a close friend, and the person i would want with me at family occasions.


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    #18
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    i suppose it depends on the situation.
    maybe it just annoys me slightly, cos i know he doesn't want to go, and the last few family occasions he's had she hasn't gone to any of them, but he is expected to her family occasions.


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    #19
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Femmy wrote: »
    well i dont really have any close friends really, i have one best friend who lives in Limerick, so we dont see eachother much, so apart from her, my boyfriend is a close friend, and the person i would want with me at family occasions.
    Oh no that wasn't directed at you in particular :)

    Just venting at the blind acceptance people have of the concept of bringing partners to stuff that they're not even interested in and/or they might not even know anyone else there. As you said, your boyfriend knows and gets on well with your family.


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    #20
    ValleyoftheDoll
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭ValleyoftheDoll


    My best friends BF gets very jealous, especially when he's had a few drinks. It can be very uncomfortable, so I now making excuses not to go with them.

    Also it bugs when when they've had a fight (every week) she's telling me all the things he's done, then they sort things out and everything is fine between them again. I am now only remembering the bad crap that I have to listen to all the time and I'm really starting to dislike him :mad:


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    #21
    Lil' Smiler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,475 ✭✭✭Lil' Smiler


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!

    P*sses me off! :mad:



    Ooooh i have a friend like that :mad:

    One of my friends and her bf seemed to have morphed into the one person, they do nothing without each other. It's very irritating,for example, a few weeks ago we realised all the girls hadn't seen each other very much so this particular girl invited us down to her house for a girly sleepover like the good old days....and her boyfriend was there!!!!!!! for the whole night!!!! They don't live together, they both live with their parents.

    Then one of the girls and her bf are unreal, all over each other ALL the time. It is absolutely ridiculous sometimes, in a club dry humping against the wall, really going at it. Eurgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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    #22
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    It's pathetic - learn some self control.


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    #23
    Gordon
    Registered Users Posts: 35,524 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    Ah they're young, we were young once. /reminisce


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    #24
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Indeed - and very much besotted. And yet I still managed to control myself in front of friends.


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    #25
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Thought it would be a good idea to highlight the positives as well as the negatives.

    I have two friends who treat each other so well and are so kind to each other its the 'standard' I would set for any relationship I have.... He even treats me well and talks to you like a person and not just like a woman - dunno if that makes sense.

    My boss's wife seems a little bit high maintenance and he treats her so well (I hear him on the phone) and seems to have endless patience with her.

    I like that my Dad does the hoovering every Saturday. They are of the generation where the woman does everything but he does his few jobs on Saturdays..


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    #26
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    *Groan*
    No matter what way you dress it up, this is yet another relationship thread. I don't care whether the relationship threads are started by loved-up people, people in a rut with their relationships, people who want to be single forever, people who have a friend-with-benefits, people who would like to be in a relationship... whatever. Enough with the relationship threads already!!


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    #27
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    I dont see a problem and thought it was good to talk about the positive as well as the negatives...

    Women talk about relationships FACT.


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    #28
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    More a stereotype tbh. Why perpetuate it?


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    #29
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Dudess wrote: »
    More a stereotype tbh. Why perpetuate it?

    Oh just lock the bloody thread so... Free speech my bloody a%s*


    :mad:


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    #30
    Jules
    Registered Users Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    Dudess is not a mod on this forum SS, so its not her call. I am gonna merge them though and change the thread title, hopefully that will keep everyone happy!


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    #31
    Susannahmia
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭Susannahmia


    Dudess wrote: »
    *Groan*
    No matter what way you dress it up, this is yet another relationship thread. I don't care whether the relationship threads are started by loved-up people, people in a rut with their relationships, people who want to be single forever, people who have a friend-with-benefits, people who would like to be in a relationship... whatever. Enough with the relationship threads already!!

    I think it's a good thread. Let people talk about what they want.

    My friends boyfriend dropped out of college and is living with her rent free, he couldn't even hold a job down in a supermarket so he has been fired. He is making a really half assed effort to find another job now. He also has a habit of telling fibs, nothing major but still annoying. If he was my boyfriend I would kill him.:rolleyes:

    He doesn't really like going out so she doesn't go out half as much anymore, when she does come out and brings him he usually does something lannoying like start a stupid argument or go home early. So many good nights ruined.

    He is a nice guy but I could never go out with him.


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