Private Detective for a Cheating Boyfriend

JaneDanes

I think my long term boyfriend is cheating on me. He's been acting a little strange and I'm worried I'm losing my mind. I think it might be one of my friends as she has been avoiding me for a couple of weeks and they have also always been close. My Mom thinks I should hire a private investigator - does anyone know one or could recommeded one? Am I crazy? We are about to buy a house!!!

ozchick

Wouldn't it be cheaper to sit down and have a good conversation about it?? Look for all the usual signs, avoiding eye contact, excuses that don't fit and getting very defensive and accusing you of being insecure

Or you could do what some women resort to and check his mobile and email etc if you are feeling suspicious and insecure.

You need to know before you make a big move like buying a house! I can't imagine he'd be wanting to make big move like that if he is cheating on you

Einstein

if he is cheating, why waste money on him. PI's aren't cheap (there's actually one above where i work). Just sit down and talk to him. Results would be far better. How bad would you feel if he wasn't cheating and he found out about the PI?

Just sit him down and tell him how you feel!

GL

Abi

JaneDanes wrote: »

I think my long term boyfriend is cheating on me. He's been acting a little strange and I'm worried I'm losing my mind. I think it might be one of my friends as she has been avoiding me for a couple of weeks and they have also always been close. My Mom thinks I should hire a private investigator - does anyone know one or could recommeded one? Am I crazy? We are about to buy a house!!!

Private Investigators are not cheap I would imagine. Do you mind my asking for examples of odd behaviour on his part? You do need to get to the bottom of this before you buy a home together. That said, if there is something fishy going on.. I doubt he would go through with it. Spineless enough to wait till the last minute maybe..

AckwelFoley

I really think you are going about this the wrong way.

Certainly you need to confront him on the the issue. Dont be letting it drive you mad. You need to sit down with him and talk it out. You sound like you dont trust him and if you dont trust him, there is no foundation for a relationship and essentially there is the problem, whether hes cheating on you or not - you dont trust the guy, so i suggest this is the angle you approach the sit down conversation.. tell him you dont trust him.

If you dont sort this out its going to take you down a very dark road.. ive been there.. its not nice, you need to sort it out

Best of luck

Brian

Dizzyblonde

I wouldn't waste the money - with this level of mistrust and suspicion, what are you doing buying a house together?

Abi

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

with this level of mistrust and suspicion, what are you doing buying a house together?

JaneDanes wrote: »

He's been acting a little strange ..I think it might be one of my friends as she has been avoiding me for a couple of weeks and they have also always been close.

Im sure they had decided on buying a home before his behaviour changed. If she is going out with him long term, Im sure she has a firm grasp on what is, and is not normal behaviour for him. That is why she posted here.

JaneDanes

Thanks BBBob! I rang the >snip< place and they gave me a quote which I thought was cheap. He's going out tomorrow so I'll let you all know Finger's crossed or heads will roll:mad:

chuci

PI's as people said are not expensive sit him down have a good long conversation. i assume you know yourself what would be normal and shadey behaviour for him. if your still not satisfied with his answers then maybe look into hiring a PI then. main thing just be positive about everything before going to buy a house- which im sure you know yourself.

Abi

JaneDanes wrote: »

I'll let you all know Finger's crossed or heads will roll:mad:

Best of luck JD, really hope its not what you think it is.

Oryx

Youve confided your fears in your mother, but not talked to him. Probably because you think youll be lied to? I know you need to get to the bottom of it, but Im not sure a PI is the way to go. There are other more straightforward, and lets face it, more adult ways to do it. The first and most obvious one is to sit down with him and talk it out with him. It sounds like the trust is shot on your side anyway, and even if theres no affair, you need to get that back somehow. The only way to start is to talk.

He may admit it, he may deny it. As the person who knows him best only you can judge if hes being truthful. There are tell tale signs, a quick google will get a list of those for you. But he is who you should be talking to before you ever consider asking someone else to snoop on him.

chuci

JaneDanes wrote: »

Thanks BBBob! I rang the Shadow place and they gave me a quote which I thought was cheap. He's going out tomorrow so I'll let you all know Finger's crossed or heads will roll:mad:

good luck JD

WindSock

Janedanes and bbbob are the same person :eek: No wonder her boyfriend is cheating. Psycho.