bf called me fat...

missingyou

naw actually, i have quite big boobs... and pretty normal shoulders and am quite tall, well above average i say! lol yes i didnt have an issue with what my boyfriend said really i just wanted you all to realise why it was so necessary for me to be losing weight fast enough! i dont want to break up with him at all, and im quite happy with our relationship!just wanted some advice on how to lose weight that was all... i think its great that my boyfriend cares about me that much that he tells me how he feels about it all!

aoife000

dublindude wrote: »

Oh I'm with you 100% on that, but I'm just going with the information she's presented here.

cool no probs, and anyway ur prob right if she has a huge belly and a size 10 (extremely unlikely!) the only way this could be nearly possible is if she has the figure you describe. and even at that, it would be hard to describe such a belly as huge... i mean have any of ye seen a size 10 top lately...

AARRRGH

It's possible.

I would still give the advice to cut out junk food (except for the odd treat) and do a bit of jogging every two days. I think we're being a bit paranoid if we think we have an anorexia case on our hands.

Mental Mickey

missingyou wrote: »

naw actually, i have quite big boobs... and pretty normal shoulders and am quite tall, well above average i say! lol yes i didnt have an issue with what my boyfriend said really i just wanted you all to realise why it was so necessary for me to be losing weight fast enough! i dont want to break up with him at all, and im quite happy with our relationship!just wanted some advice on how to lose weight that was all... i think its great that my boyfriend cares about me that much that he tells me how he feels about it all!

Why is it necessary? Cos he said it? Or is there another reason? You don't seem to be overweight? You said that you're quite tall.........maybe you're just a big girl(no offence intended)!?

aoife000

missingyou wrote: »

i just wanted you all to realise why it was so necessary for me to be losing weight fast enough!

eh.... it's not???? such ignorance is dumbfounding!! u don't need to lose weight never mind lose it fast. eat healthy surely, it's what we should all be doing. but please don't go thinking u need to lose weight fast. OP i know what i sound like to you, i don't need anyone to say it i'm well aware, but i am seriously saying this for your own good, i swear...

plz plz try to ditch the attitude that you need to lose weight fast... u don't,.... and if u have this attitude it is highly possible to develop into something moree...

ok i'm leaving it at that now... best of luck anyway i hope u see reason in the end and that u realise how gorgeous u are just as u are... and that everything works out for u just as it should

take care OP

aoife000

dublindude wrote: »

I think we're being a bit paranoid if we think we have an anorexia case on our hands.

just to clarify i never once suggested that we had a case of anorexia on our hands... not at all... what i said was that an individual with such opinions and beliefs is probably a high risk to develop as such... eating disorders don't just develop from nowhere trust me... ok just wanted to clarify that.

AARRRGH

I'm with Mental Mickey and aoife000 now

OP: You don't need to lose weight fast. You can hardly be called fat being a size 10 on top and a size 12 on the bottom.

If you want to be a little bit slimmer and fitter, that's fine, but if you think you have a problem (you don't, yet) you're being way too harsh on yourself.

Can I ask what age you are?

Mental Mickey

Maybe you just need to "tone up" a little?

Mental Mickey

dublindude wrote: »

I'm with Mental Mickey and aoife000 now
OP: You don't need to lose weight fast. You can hardly be called fat being a size 10 on top and a size 12 on the bottom.

If you want to be a little bit slimmer and fitter, that's fine, but if you think you have a problem (you don't, yet) you're being way too harsh on yourself.

Can I ask what age you are?

jam_mac_jam

Ciaran500 wrote: »

I've no idea about what the OPs body is like but all size 10's aren't equal.


All these are size 10

that is not a size ten, a size ten is a 26/28 waist and a 32 chest. What is there is above a size twelve, I dont know where you got that from

missingyou

missingyou wrote: »

lol yes i didnt have an issue with what my boyfriend said really i just wanted you all to realise why it was so necessary for me to be losing weight fast enough!

That isn't a reasonable statement. I feel worried for you.

As for diet advice .... Don't try to do it quickly. Crash dieting and yoyoing can erode your muscle mass and mess up your metabolism.
If I were you, I'd read up on the diet advice thread in the fitness forum. Then I'd track what I was eating on www.fitday.com. If a problem became apparent (too many cals, not enough protien etc.) I would make changes.
But for the amount of weight you want to lose, I'd focus on getting fit and toning up rather than dieting.

aoife000

Moonbaby wrote: »

But for the amount of weight you want to lose, I'd focus on getting fit and toning up rather than dieting.

+1

Mental Mickey

Moonbaby wrote: »

That isn't a reasonable statement. I feel worried for you.
As for diet advice .... Don't try to do it quickly. Crash dieting and yoyoing can erode your muscle mass and mess up your metabolism.
If I were you, I'd read up on the diet advice thread in the fitness forum. Then I'd track what I was eating on www.fitday.com. If a problem became apparent (too many cals, not enough protien etc.) I would make changes.
But for the amount of weight you want to lose, I'd focus on getting fit and toning up rather than dieting.

Which is why I asked her why she said it in the first place.

aoife000

OP sorry I hope u don't mind me asking but what height are u?

missingyou

im 18 and not really sure of my heaight i thing im 5 10 not exactly sure but am quite tall!

Mental Mickey

missingyou wrote: »

im 18 and not really sure of my heaight i thing im 5 10 not exactly sure but am quite tall!

I bet you ain't "fat" at all.........? You're a tall woman. Seems like he wants Britney f**king Spears on his arm......?

I'll say it one more time, OP. Tell that "boyfriend" to f**k right off.

Dudess

LOL - started two hours ago and on its fourth page in a not massively frequented forum. And on a Saturday night. But not surprisingly. I'm actually in a rage here (and if you think I'm one of those "but some people are only fat because of their bones" types, have a read of my posts in current threads on same in After Hours and The Ladies' Lounge - in a nutshell, I'm not).

missingyou wrote: »

Boyfriend said my weight was getting out of control

You're boyfriend is a fukking sh1thead.

so i better start with something

Ooh yes, you'd "better" start. Note the way the only reason why you say you'd better start is because your boyfriend said so. Feminists - why do they bother?

im a size 10 on top and 12 on bottom

They're you go - your weight is not out of control.

... but gotta start working out and eating healthy

"Gotta" - why the panic? Oh yeah, because your boyfriend said so, not you making the decision of your own accord (which you wouldn't have anyway because you're not in need of losing weight. But like I said, he's a sh1thead).

missingyou wrote: »

i guess he is worried about my health

He is in his arse worried about your health - he's worried about how you look on his arm. As for loving you - some girls think when their boyfriends are controlling them, it's a way of showing that they love them.

im insecure about these things

And so is he.

i really just want to get my selfesteem up!!

What a nice way to help you by saying your weight is out of control. I bet that's really boosted your self esteem.

missingyou wrote: »

talking to my friends they say that they dont think i have put on weight and some even thin i have lost some

Ever consider your friends might be the ones to pay heed to? But oh no, your boyfriend's opinion matters more...

missingyou wrote: »

seriously he did sa it in a kinda tactful way and i want to lose weight for me and not for him!

Serious backpedalling going on here.

missingyou wrote: »

naw i know he loves me the way i am, its just he saw how upset i was talking aboiut my weight a while ago and i think he wanted to help me! i have no will power and i think he just wanted me to see that, i did go on a diet before and i totally cave after 2 weeks! naw i know he loves me for who i am we have had a hard past together and like he wouldnt be with me now if he didnt care and love me! i honestly dont think that he wanted me to feel bad but it just made me feel that way! I have wanted to lose weight a long time before he said it and i know he did really find it hard telling me... but i really have wanted to lose weight for myself well before we got together! thats why i want to lose it! for me and not for him... he just gave me the push... thanks for your concern and advice though it really is appreciated!

No matter what you say, he said your weight is getting "out of control". Unacceptable.

Longfield wrote: »

Maybe he just see's his lovely girlfriend starting to turn a little tubby and feels they have a strong enough relationship that he can tell her so

Christ Longfield, she's size 10 to 12 and tall.

jon1981 wrote: »

in fairness im with the boyfreind on this one...a relationship starts with some physical attraction and the attraction should always remain throughout the relationship...the last thing you want is for him/her to fall out of attraction because their partner got complacent and piled on the weight.

Absolutely. That's what I usually say. However, she's not in need of losing weight, she's just in need of losing that asshole she's with.

we all know what irish women are like once they hit 30!

Oh fukking load of sexist, ageist horse ****! I'm nearly 30 and look a zillion times better than I did when I was 20.

missingyou wrote: »

my tummy is huge!! even if i am a size 10 on top!!

Then your tummy is not huge. It's not actually possible.

jon1981 wrote: »

seriously this is a silly argument, if she developed some nasty social or personality defect that she didnt have at the beginning of the relationship it would be acceptable for him to say it to her...but when it comes to the physical side of things he should keep his mouth shut or get dumped???? (sarcasm) some people are deluded!!

People would be deluded if she was a size 18 and he was nice about it and they still said he was an asshole - but that's a million miles away from this particular scenario.

missingyou wrote: »

naw actually, i have quite big boobs... and pretty normal shoulders and am quite tall, well above average i say! lol yes i didnt have an issue with what my boyfriend said really i just wanted you all to realise why it was so necessary for me to be losing weight fast enough! i dont want to break up with him at all, and im quite happy with our relationship!just wanted some advice on how to lose weight that was all... i think its great that my boyfriend cares about me that much that he tells me how he feels about it all!

To be honest, there's probably no talking to you. You're clearly one of these females who'll put up with sh1t from guys until your confidence is well and truly shattered.
My god, when I saw the thread title, I presumed it was someone having a rant about what a dickhead their boyfriend was, but no, it was a slim girl bowing down to his demands. I despair...

Just eat healthily and exercise in order to maintain the perfectly healthy shape you have - have a treat if you feel like one, but don't over-do the junkfood. And NEVER starve yourself.

aoife000

missingyou wrote: »

im 18 and not really sure of my heaight i thing im 5 10 not exactly sure but am quite tall!

ok ya i could tell u were quite young, and ya that is quite tall so i think it is unlikely that u have a huge tummy...

i'm not gonna ask u ur weight but can i make a suggestion for ya hun, why don't u follow this link, (http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/) enter ur weight and height, and u will see that u are not overweight... if anything u will probably be in the bottom end of the 'normal weight' category... possibly about 20...

hun i'm sorry if u feel that everyone is on at you when u only asked for some dieting advice. i do hope u get the nutrition advice u need, but i also do hope u can see in the end that ur weight is not 'out of control' , that u are not by any means fat, and that u don't actually need to lose weight... best of luck hun...

Mental Mickey

OP, how old is your boyfriend???

aoife000

Dudess wrote: »

.

Then your tummy is not huge. It's not actually possible.

thanks dudess for all that. when i seen ur long post and that u were a mod, i actually thought it was a mod in giving in to the rest of us for going off topic on the nutrition board or something like that... i couldn't agree more with absolutely everything u said, i wanted to say everything u said, but was wary of going to far, precisely because of the reason of mods saying we gone off topic. i really do hope the message gets across...!!

Dudess

When a moderator is not on the forum they moderate, they are a poster like anyone else.

aoife000

Dudess wrote: »

When a moderator is not on the forum they moderate, they are a poster like anyone else.

ah cool hun, am with u, still was glad to see it wasnt what i thought!

AARRRGH

missingyou wrote:

i really just want to get my selfesteem up!!

Self esteem is in the head. Getting a nice flat tummy is just a short term fix.

No doubt you have a (unwarranted) negative opinion of yourself. This is actually fairly normal (unfortunately) for young women. You are probably a lovely person. There is more to you than your size 10 body and size 12 arse.

If you are genuinely gaining weight (as in, you've started eating **** food and you don't plan on changing this) then I can understand your boyfriends point of view. If this is not the case, I think your boyfriend and yourself are being a bit harsh.

There's nothing wrong with having an active, healthy life, but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.

OP: Can I ask you a question? If your boyfriend had of said you're too skinny and you need to put on weight, would you try to put on weight?

Faith

This thread is ridiculous. I kept waiting to see "Moved from After Hours" but it's not here. This is not PI, she does not need advice about her relationship. OP, read the stickies here and in the fitness forum. If you are happy with your weight, fine. Don't try and conform to anyone elses standards.

g'em

aoife000 wrote: »

thanks dudess for all that. when i seen ur long post and that u were a mod, i actually thought it was a mod in giving in to the rest of us for going off topic on the nutrition board or something like that...

No, that would be me. And going off topic doesn't even begin to cover the childishness going on here.

OP, in future when starting a thread in this forum I highly advise against using such an inflammatory thread title - it would be perfect in PI, but this is, after all, the Nutrition and Diet Forum.

Having said that, after 85 posts I have yet to see any particulalry helpful dietary advice. If you want to shout from your pedestals, take it to PI, tLL, AH or frankly anywhere other than here. Next OT post from anyone will result in a ban.

Now, back to the OP. Irrespective of what anyone else in your life says, there's no harm in tweaking your diet to get the most out of it. Food is not just something that exists to taste good, it's fuel, and like a car the better the fuel you give your engine the better it'll run. I've a couple of suggestions...

missingyou wrote:

breakfast: special k with low fat milk and herbal tea

Drop the Special K - it's high in sugar and as was mentioned earlier in the thread a quality no-sugar added muesli like Hi8 or (even better) porridge will fill you up and provide slow release energy to keep you going through the morning.

missingyou wrote:

lunch: roll/ 2 slices of whole grain bread with salad and sometimes a bit of ham/ salmon/ light cheese

just make sure it's real wholemeal - often cheap brown bread is just white bread dyed with caramel colouring! If it has "wholemeal" listed as one of the ingredients you should be ok. Make sure you try and get a meat or fish source in the sandwich as the protein will kep you satiated and helps your body grow and repair itself. Alteratively a salad will fill you up but won't bloat you.

missingyou wrote:

dinner: varies... but have little say in it as i am in digs!

Keep pasta/ rice portions to a minimum and if you can fill up on veg and meat. Frozen veg are often cheaper than fresh and they're just as good for you as the snap-freezing method maintains all the nutrients.

missingyou wrote:

snacks: fruit... low fat crackers... and somedays a stick of a kit kat...
Have been like this last few days....

fruit, veg sticks, a small hanful of nuts, natural yoghurt or a low-sugar content organic yoghurt are all great, crackers aren't so good and the kit-kats are ideally kept to a minimum.

missingyou wrote:

my weakness is totally lunch time and school... caffeine is a major additction! any tips would be really helpful!!

1 or 2 cups of coffee a day is fine, and a moderate intake can actually help speed up your metabolism. Avoid frothy, creamy, high-milk content frappuchinolattemochachai's though and stick to regular coffee either black or with a little milk, and without sugar of course.

Eat small meals regulalry and don't starve yourself.


Edit: on second thoughts, I'm closing this again, leaving it open is asking for trouble. Best of luck with everything OP.