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confused, help!!

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  • 08-04-2008 4:16pm
    #1
    bicarlowguy
    Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭


    hey guys, im in a bit of a situation here and want to know if im doing the right thing.

    I have been meeting a guy on and off for a while, was casual initially, but started becoming more regular thing.

    But Im kinda hurt at the moment for the following reasons:
    -we only ever did things on his terms, my feelings and what i wanted were never "important"
    -he would happily bitch and give out at me for no reason, with no apology whereas if i got grumpy or did something wrong, I always apologised
    -when i admitted to having feelings for him this weekend, he pretty much blanked it and told me he was kinda texting someone and didnt want to jerk that guy round :(

    I have realised that this guy isnt worth it, but am not sure what way to handle it, and so help!!!

    Thanks for bearing with guys!


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    #2
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    Here's some free advise, grow a fúcking back bone and tell him to go find some other looser to jerk around. For christ sake, if you're going to act like a door mat, of course he's going to walk all over you! :rolleyes:

    You need to dump that zero and get yo self a heeero! mmhmmm *clicks fingers and bops head side to side*


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    #3
    BuffyBot
    Registered Users Posts: 24,924 ✭✭✭✭BuffyBot


    Channel 4 need to snap up azezil for a show real quick. Think SuperGay, in the style of SuperNanny :p

    But he's got a point OP. There isn't much handling really. He's a jerk, so say goodbye and find somethign better.


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    #4
    swiss
    Registered Users Posts: 1,745 ✭✭✭swiss


    bicarlowguy wrote: »
    when i admitted to having feelings for him this weekend, he pretty much blanked it and told me he was kinda texting someone and didnt want to jerk that guy round :(
    I think you know what to do and are just waiting around for someone to point out the obvious.

    Two people already have.


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    #5
    bicarlowguy
    Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭bicarlowguy


    lol, thanks for the comments guys, and the last poster was right, i do know what to do, i just wanted to double check if the boot should come out before i put it on lol:)


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    #6
    bicarlowguy
    Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭bicarlowguy


    Well guys, its over, kind of lol. Anyway, to let you know roughly what happened: i was in on friday and decided i would swing by and speak to him, he blatantly ignored me.

    Tried again yesterday same thing so i decided to nab him today, he saw me coming and stormed off, telling me to "get lost" or something like that ;)

    So i have since sent him an email saying that if he wants to stay friends with me that I am owed a huge apology! I feel kinda good now, cos either he grovels and apologises, dunno what i will do if he does though, or he leaves me completely alone - either way i guess i come out on top!

    I just wish it didnt have to be as nasty as all this, but he really pushed it to this :(


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    #7
    daniE825
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭daniE825


    I just wish it didnt have to be as nasty as all this, but he really pushed it to this :([/quote]

    you are NOT being nasty! you are being assertive. dont let him walk all over you. he has to understand that he cant treat you like this.
    your better off without him if he dosnt respect you.


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    #8
    Rock Climber
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,034 ✭✭✭Rock Climber


    bicarlowguy wrote: »
    Well guys, its over, kind of lol. Anyway, to let you know roughly what happened: i was in on friday and decided i would swing by and speak to him, he blatantly ignored me.

    Tried again yesterday same thing so i decided to nab him today, he saw me coming and stormed off, telling me to "get lost" or something like that ;)[/QUOTE

    So i have since sent him an email saying that if he wants to stay friends with me that I am owed a huge apology! I feel kinda good now, cos either he grovels and apologises, dunno what i will do if he does though, or he leaves me completely alone - either way i guess i come out on top!

    I just wish it didnt have to be as nasty as all this, but he really pushed it to this :(

    Land sakes lad,what did you do that for??? Chasing him around does not give the impression you are asserting yourself,it gives the air of desperation! Don't do that again!! Even though you had in your head that you wanted to corner him to give out to him etc he doesn't know that,he just thinks that the email you sent was because you couldn't get him those 3 times and now he's thinking .. RESULT he's got the bloody message.
    So you'd be wrong I'm afraid in thinking you have the upper hand here you don't.
    He distanced himself from you because he's a committment phobe and you scared him with your love assertions.
    You are were his fuuck buddy and thats all you ever were.
    Your "love" feelings masked your ability to see that and it's going to get you walked on again if you don't grow a bigger pair and COMPLETELY IGNORE your work mate from now on as if he doesn't exist.

    Take azezils advice PROPERLY this time and move on! Dump the loser and get yourself a hero :)


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    #9
    bicarlowguy
    Registered Users Posts: 28 ✭bicarlowguy


    look, as far as im concerned hes gone, cos i very much doubt hes gonna apologise to me, now while I accept that some of you are advising me to get on with things which im doing, I would point out that lecturing me (as some people have done!) isnt gonna change anything, I am getting on with it and put simply, the guy i just dumped clearly doesnt deserve a one way trip in a sewer!

    So i ask ya :) whats the point in lecturing me to do something im already doing :rolleyes: its only gonna make me feel bad again!


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    #10
    moridin
    Registered Users Posts: 931 ✭✭✭moridin


    I wouldn't view it as lecturing, more as friendly advice. Don't let anyone walk all over you, because you deserve better. Put yourself in his shoes here....

    "So i have since sent him an email saying that if he wants to stay friends with me that I am owed a huge apology!"

    Personally, I think that's being far, far too nice to the git, from what you've told us. I can just picture him laughing when he gets your mail :( If he cared one jot then there's no way that he'd have treated you like he has.

    At least now you know what to look out for I guess, hope things improve for you from here on out.


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    #11
    Rock Climber
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,034 ✭✭✭Rock Climber


    bicarlowguy wrote: »
    So i ask ya :) whats the point in lecturing me to do something im already doing :rolleyes: its only gonna make me feel bad again!
    The point is simple.We are helping you see this for what it is.Many of us have gone through the mill with bastards like your so called friend before.We live and learn and are giving you the benefit of our knowledge.

    I hope you see that the way you went about it chasing him and then sending the email was wrong.
    We're not saying it's your fault that you did that.You did what you thought was best and you had no one to advise you.
    Now that you are where you are now so to speak,I advise absolutely no contact whatsoever with the cúnt again.Let him learn not to treat you this way.
    Remove his number from your phone and delete his email address as well as anything stored you have.
    Move on and besta luck :)


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