Prostitution & Boyfriend

Gummy Panda

When i was younger i was in the same situation as the OP in regards to thinking of partners previous love life. TBH, i think it was because i got too attached and put her on a pedestal that i didn't like it when something from her past disrupted that image. Maybe i felt betrayed for some silly reason.

How did i get over it? I just moved past it and stopped thinking that way. I was young so maybe i grew up a little more or just stopped caring. I accepted that was in her past and shaped the person she is today.

At the end of the day everyone has a past but that past might have made them into the type of person you love.

sprinkles

It doesn't seem to be the paying for sex part that's bothering you more the fact he was with other women. You're picturing him with them and worndering if they were better than you etc. You have to learn to accept his past - everyone has a sexual history. Fact is he's now with you and he seems pretty honest in fairness.

WindSock

Get over it, to be honest. Why does it shock you that a guy paid for sex, because he could?

PeakOutput

i would never pay for sex or evena lapdance but i do believe that prostitution should be legal so i dont really have a major problem with other people paying if they really want to

Bottle_of_Smoke

if it's bothering you this much you should probably just finish it

I personally wouldn't, not because I have respect for women or have moral objections, just I don't have herpes & would like to keep it that way!

milod

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yeah but girls don't really pay for sex, they don't have to and probably wouldn't anyway. Girls go on holiday and have fun and maybe score or even sleep with men but they don't go to a specific district to leer at men and pay them. It really is different.

I have nothing against prostitution per-se, just the image of my bf with one makes me sick.

OP, tbh, you sound like you have more than a few hang-ups and a total double standard around sex. Look at what you said above!

"Yeah but girls don't really pay for sex, they don't have to and probably wouldn't anyway"

Simple free market rules here - guys want sex and can separate that activity from love quite easily - Guys want sex more and therefore, sometimes, choose to pay - judge as you will but that's life. As you say, girls simply don't have to pay, unless they're ugly/middle aged and choose to 'use' a gigolo. But of course nobody bats an eyelid, cos guys never feel used, right?

"Girls go on holiday and have fun and maybe score or even sleep with men"

Right... so this is morally superior to guys paying for it? Ever watched a bunch of pissed-up Irish girls in action in Lanzarote? Not pretty, and in no way morally superior, I can assure you. I've been groped on more than once occasion there! but of course guys can't be sexually harassed, they enjoy it don't they?

"but they don't go to a specific district to leer at men and pay them"

What do you call bars then? All women just go out wearing their best f**k-me-boots just to chat to other girls, yeah?

"I have nothing against prostitution per-se, just the image of my bf with one makes me sick"

Class - this is the best line of all! So it's ok for other guys, just not your boyfriend.

OP, you have plenty of growing up to do before you get to judge others so harshly. Of course prostitution brings many moral issues with it, but is it so different from an average guy plying a girl with alcohol all evening in the hope of shagging her senseless at the end of the evening? At least prostitution is an honest transaction that isn't going to lead on to an 'affair'.

easyontheeye

milod wrote: »

OP, tbh, you sound like you have more than a few hang-ups and a total double standard around sex. Look at what you said above!

"Yeah but girls don't really pay for sex, they don't have to and probably wouldn't anyway"

Simple free market rules here - guys want sex and can separate that activity from love quite easily - Guys want sex more and therefore, sometimes, choose to pay - judge as you will but that's life. As you say, girls simply don't have to pay, unless they're ugly/middle aged and choose to 'use' a gigolo. But of course nobody bats an eyelid, cos guys never feel used, right?

"Girls go on holiday and have fun and maybe score or even sleep with men"

Right... so this is morally superior to guys paying for it? Ever watched a bunch of pissed-up Irish girls in action in Lanzarote? Not pretty, and in no way morally superior, I can assure you. I've been groped on more than once occasion there! but of course guys can't be sexually harassed, they enjoy it don't they?

"but they don't go to a specific district to leer at men and pay them"

What do you call bars then? All women just go out wearing their best f**k-me-boots just to chat to other girls, yeah?

"I have nothing against prostitution per-se, just the image of my bf with one makes me sick"

Class - this is the best line of all! So it's ok for other guys, just not your boyfriend.

OP, you have plenty of growing up to do before you get to judge others so harshly. Of course prostitution brings many moral issues with it, but is it so different from an average guy plying a girl with alcohol all evening in the hope of shagging her senseless at the end of the evening? At least prostitution is an honest transaction that isn't going to lead on to an 'affair'.

+1 (well said, good post)

The Sweeper

OP, from the tone and content of your posts, this is more about your own sense of self esteem than your disgust at your boyfriend.

What was she wearing?
What did he do with her?
Was she better than you are?

It sounds to me like you'd probably be just as freaked out by him telling you about ex-girlfriends, except that relations with prostitutes are more definitely, in-your-face, purely about sex.

Marksie

MAJD has it right and the answers to the questions are probably very simple:

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

What was she wearing?.

The stuff to make her stand out from the one in the next window, not aimed at anyione in particular

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

What did he do with her? .

What ever the monetary transaction allowed

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

Was she better than you are?
.

Extremely unlikely, when reduced to a montary exchange for services. It is just that, services. To be completed and finished. Next customer please

Irishcrx

I've been to Amsterdam 4 times and spent loads of time in the red light district, all the lads I went with got about 2-3 prostitutes while there, I didn't because...well I think sex is the one great thing in life that we actually don't have to pay for and I'd prefer to go out and talk to some girl ect than bang some girl who's been done by a 90 year old man 5 mins before, but on average this kind of thing happens with guy's just most of them won't talk to their girlfriends about it...

Puffin

The issue with prostitution isn’t the sex, it’s the power.

The reality is, people who have a heap of options in life (the ability to support their lifestyle through legal work, access to education, access to food and basic medical care, parents or friends to fall back on etc) do not stand on the streets selling their own bodies. Streetwalking (in fact, 99.9% of prostitution, male and female) is the realm of the desperate and I for one would not be interested in spending time with someone who would use the power that their parental background, education and national currency has brought them to literally buy another human being.

Think it though- if you go to China you will easily find people who are so desperate they will sell you their daughter and won’t care what you do to her. If you go to Botswana you will easily find a seven year old child who will genuinely beg you to pay them for sex as they are an AIDS orphan with no other means of feeding themselves. To someone born into a privileged environment, many other people’s bodies are easy and cheap- but does that mean it’s ok to buy them?

marylou82

modern times wrote: »

a lot of my friends and even my family have used prostitutes when on holidays so itys nce that he told you and not that big a deal

um...............lovely

chris_oc

the GALL wrote: »

yea... what was she wearing

but seriously some things(past) are not ment to be said he could have been a bit more tactful
have the conversation with him once say everything what you've got to say and never bring it up again or it will just ruin whats left of your relationship

+1

think he could have been a bit more tactful though or should have probably just not told you at all ie "what momma doesn't know will never hurt her" kinda thing.
haveta say fair fecks to him for bein honest with you though..

irish_bob

Puffin wrote: »

The issue with prostitution isn’t the sex, it’s the power.

The reality is, people who have a heap of options in life (the ability to support their lifestyle through legal work, access to education, access to food and basic medical care, parents or friends to fall back on etc) do not stand on the streets selling their own bodies. Streetwalking (in fact, 99.9% of prostitution, male and female) is the realm of the desperate and I for one would not be interested in spending time with someone who would use the power that their parental background, education and national currency has brought them to literally buy another human being.

Think it though- if you go to China you will easily find people who are so desperate they will sell you their daughter and won’t care what you do to her. If you go to Botswana you will easily find a seven year old child who will genuinely beg you to pay them for sex as they are an AIDS orphan with no other means of feeding themselves. To someone born into a privileged environment, many other people’s bodies are easy and cheap- but does that mean it’s ok to buy them?

i tottaly agree with you , all prostitutes are victims , whenever a bunch of kids in say 1st class are asked what they would like to be when they grow up , il bet you all the tea in china that not one girl will say , i want to be a hooker ,
it is completly wrong to ever pay for sex and i say that as someone who did it while very drunk in spain about 5 yrs ago , to this day i despise myself for having done it ,

just to refer back to some previous posts , i think men are at a disadvantage in this moral arguement , as a previous poster said , women can have sex on demand at any time , men cannot , i myself am not at all good looking and will always struggle to get women yet im not ashamed to say that if an average woman came on to me in a club with the intention of using me for sex , id have no problem with that
men often have little option but to pay for a woman , woman can get it for free as easy as turning on a tap , this is a fact

Wagon

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yeah but girls don't really pay for sex, they don't have to and probably wouldn't anyway. Girls go on holiday and have fun and maybe score or even sleep with men but they don't go to a specific district to leer at men and pay them. It really is different.

I have nothing against prostitution per-se, just the image of my bf with one makes me sick.

I missed that post the first time I read through this. That's the biggest load of horse**** I've read this morning, And I'm studying for a business exam in 3 hours! It's the exact same. The means of acquiring it are different but the content doesn't change. Isn't a prostitute like a one night stand? The only difference is that women get it for free. As someone previously posted, lose the double standards.

LegacyUser

Wagon wrote: »

I missed that post the first time I read through this. That's the biggest load of horse**** I've read this morning, And I'm studying for a business exam in 3 hours! It's the exact same. The means of acquiring it are different but the content doesn't change. Isn't a prostitute like a one night stand? The only difference is that women get it for free. As someone previously posted, lose the double standards.

Um........its a big difference!

I mean I wonder how guys would think their sister/cousin/friend slept with a rent boy??

milkerman

This guy was honest & open with you, these are great qualities in any person. Maybe his moral values are different to yours and this could be sufficient reason for you to walk out. Try to remember though that we all do things we are not proud of, we all have a history and there are very few living saints.

Tell him that his having paid for sex in the past really upsets you and explain why.

I have paid for sex in the past but the price was expensive xmas & birthday presents, weekends away, holidays and always picking up the tab in the restaurant or bar. Does that make me a bad person? That gf left me when I was let go and had shag all spare cash, there are plenty of people like her out there. The whores in Amsterdam are open & honest about their business at least.

John Mason

I think you are totally over reacting. You knew he had sex before he met you, so what the difference that he paid for it? Lets face most guys do pay for one way or another, whether it is buying the drinks all night or taking someone for dinner.

Would it have bothered you as much if you found out that he had been shagging the village bike? personal i think i would perfer my OH to shag a sex worker rather then the skanky village bike.

or is the real reason you are upset is because now you have feelings of Inadequacies in the bedroom department.

Whatever your reasons, you need to grow up and get over them so, you OH has a past, who hasnt?

mags16

Puffin wrote: »

The issue with prostitution isn’t the sex, it’s the power.

The reality is, people who have a heap of options in life (the ability to support their lifestyle through legal work, access to education, access to food and basic medical care, parents or friends to fall back on etc) do not stand on the streets selling their own bodies. Streetwalking (in fact, 99.9% of prostitution, male and female) is the realm of the desperate and I for one would not be interested in spending time with someone who would use the power that their parental background, education and national currency has brought them to literally buy another human being.

Think it though- if you go to China you will easily find people who are so desperate they will sell you their daughter and won’t care what you do to her. If you go to Botswana you will easily find a seven year old child who will genuinely beg you to pay them for sex as they are an AIDS orphan with no other means of feeding themselves. To someone born into a privileged environment, many other people’s bodies are easy and cheap- but does that mean it’s ok to buy them?

What a well written post! I completely agree with Puffin.

I think the issue with the OP is that her boyfriend is not the person she thought he was. She may not want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks it's ok to have sex with a prostitutes. Even if he was single. As Puffin said, it is an abuse of power. One party has money, security, health, no addictions and the other party may be poverty stricken, an addict, an illegal immigrant. She has very few choices. It's a shame but that obviously turns some men on,

I think posters should stop attacking the OP. She told us very openly how she is feeling and her opinions are valid.

chuci

it would bother me to an extent that if i was going out with him for only 6 months i prob would dump him. though saying that if my boyfriend told me he had slept with a prostitute before we started going out, id prob forgive him but that's because i see a future with him. it would take some tie to work through it. op did you see yourself long term with this guy then maybe you should have a think at least he was honest about it and you didn't find out one night from one of his friends or something. i have to give him credit for coming out with it but i really could have been done more tactfully.

Nevyn

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yeah but girls don't really pay for sex,

Really ?

IF the same way another poster worked out money spent on a date hoping to get his end away there are a list of costs women have as well.

The cost of contraception and contraception dr consults and then the daft ammount of money that is meant to be spent on hair and make up and clothing so that she can go out and pull a bloke and having to have money for the morning after pill just in case...

cowzerp

chuci wrote: »

though saying that if my boyfriend told me he had slept with a prostitute before we started going out, id prob forgive him but that's because i see a future with him..

It would not be your place to FORGIVE him, he would of done nothing on you to forgive, Get a life.

denhaagenite

Living in the Hague in Holland, quite close to both red light districts and even have a wander down every so often. In Holland, the window girls that you see in the red light districts have regular sti tests, have to display proof of this and even pay taxes, health insurance etc. It's part of Dutch tradition to have prostitutes- historically even priests would advise husbands to see them if their wives weren't putting out! I have a friend at home who regularly sees prostitutes and while it breaks my heart that he does this (because of health risks and his low self esteem issues) he is one of my oldest and best friends and I don't love him any less or feel repulsed by it. While here you do see the seedy, weird men walking around leering at girls you also see the couples looking for a thrill. There's even a prostitution museum in Amsterdam run by a former prostitute and far from being sordid it's actually quite interesting!! While I would drop him like a hot rock if he fcuked a prostitue while we're going out, my boyfriend once saw a prostitue before we met and found it very cold and impersonal- your boyfriend probably came to the same conclusion. Now the most experimental we get is the odd trip to beate uhse and when we have friends visiting I take them to the banana bar!!! Bottom line is, he probably learnt his lesson and anyway, how is he supposed to help something that happened before he even met you?

Blisterman

irish_bob wrote: »

i tottaly agree with you , all prostitutes are victims , whenever a bunch of kids in say 1st class are asked what they would like to be when they grow up , il bet you all the tea in china that not one girl will say , i want to be a hooker.

Equally, noone would say "I want to be a telemarketer" or "I want to wash dishes for a living". People don't always like their jobs. They do it for the money. It's no different to any other job, in that respect. If you hired someone to clean your toilet, would you consider them a victim?

That being said, I'd never pay for sex myself, but it's more of a self respect thing, than a moral objection.

mags16

denhaagenite wrote: »

While I would drop him like a hot rock if he fcuked a prostitue while we're going out, my boyfriend once saw a prostitue before we met and found it very cold and impersonal- your boyfriend probably came to the same conclusion.

OP said in her first post that he has "been with a few prostitutes". So, for him, it must not have been that cold and impersonal!

I would like to hear back from the OP to see what she has decided to do..

Irishcrx

All my friends that saw them have said they didn't really like it, again as said they said it was very cold and impersonal down to business sort of thing, one told me that the girl he was with started telling him how much she hated sex and how the feeling is ruined for her while they were at it.

the GALL

Irishcrx wrote: »

All my friends that saw them have said they didn't really like it, again as said they said it was very cold and impersonal down to business sort of thing, one told me that the girl he was with started telling him how much she hated sex and how the feeling is ruined for her while they were at it.

some people just don't take pride in their work

denhaagenite

Sickandsad wrote: »

girls would this bother you?

Just noticed that you've started another thread, I don't think you're being very fair in saying that we're all slating you, you've asked for an opinion and I think that for the most part you have a huge amount of genuine answers. Would it be easier if we all told you he was only joking? Not everyone is going to tell you what you want to hear OP.

Marksie

The Gall: keep it on topic

Zulu

Sickandsad wrote: »

Yeah but girls don't really pay for sex, they don't have to and probably wouldn't anyway. Girls go on holiday and have fun and maybe score or even sleep with men but they don't go to a specific district to leer at men and pay them. It really is different.

I have nothing against prostitution per-se, just the image of my bf with one makes me sick.

I don't know where to start with this point! Wow, though, thats a seriously naive attitude though.

LegacyUser

The type of people who sleep with prostitutes are usually losers who can't get it anywhere else...

I know this because I know people who have done so, and i understand why they have....because they have absolutely no game when it comes to dealing with women. Fair enough I say...

So that in itself would turn me off so much...the thing I would be most annoyed about is that this person who i love had to pay to get laid...that's just wrong.

Zulu

...well, I can't argue with that, Cheesedude.
Good call.

John Mason

cheesedude wrote: »

The type of people who sleep with prostitutes are usually losers who can't get it anywhere else...

I know this because I know people who have done so, and i understand why they have....because they have absolutely no game when it comes to dealing with women. Fair enough I say...

So that in itself would turn me off so much...the thing I would be most annoyed about is that this person who i love had to pay to get laid...that's just wrong.

not necessarily, some people like the trill and the danger

LegacyUser

That's why they have extreme sports like skydiving and bungee jumping...

And that is also why banging heroin addicted prostitutes with genital warts and Aids is not considered an extreme sport.

seaner

cheesedude wrote: »

That's why they have extreme sports like skydiving and bungee jumping...

And that is also why banging heroin addicted prostitutes with genital warts and Aids is not considered an extreme sport.

well said.
I 100% agree with your opinion.

Dragan

cheesedude wrote: »

That's why they have extreme sports like skydiving and bungee jumping...

And that is also why banging heroin addicted prostitutes with genital warts and Aids is not considered an extreme sport.

LoL, nice stereotypical image dude.

Hardly helpful though. Every talk to a prostitute? One of the legal ones i mean.

Although if you are in to taking your life in your hands then surely your version of a prostitute would provide more risk than a bungee jump?:D

MCMLXXXIII

Some people get prostitutes because they can't get it anywhere else.
Others get it because they are on vacation and want a thrill.

IMO, it's different if they get someone at home on a Tuesday night, rather than an exciting story from a vacation.

Plus, think about it - they are helping the local economy

It's almost like a tourist thing to do...I mean c'mon - you aren't going to go to Amsterdam without at least checking out the red light district.

Besides, would it be better if he went on vacation and picked up girls from the bar to take back to his hotel? That would make him a player. He's just being more honest about sleeping with people imho.

Honestly, when I travel (especially to the seedy places)(like Prague, for example) a lot of people think I am a male prostitute (don't know why?), and offer me things all the time. I think you would be surprised at how many people partake in those activities.

OP - If he is being that honest with you, and hasn't done it when you were together, I wouldn't worry about it. TBH, I would make him get tested, but other than that I think it would be fine.

MuPpItJoCkEy

I think your over reacting to it. It is in his past and that's where it should stay. At the moment you feel this way but you might find it surprising that more people that you know have gone off with prossies but it's not the kind of thing they'll come back and tell you about where as other people might.

All these people here tell you, ah dump him and all but they don't know him or what else you have between you.

I'm sure a few women who may have replied on this thread may be surprised that a partner they're with or have been with had already slept with a prostitute years and years ago but they have been together such a long time and have a good relationship, I'll bet they wouldn't be as quick to throw them out then!

I don't agree or disagree with prostitution but it's not my thing but I do know a lot of people from different backrounds who have been with prostitutes including girls I know either getting them for themselves or to be shared with their partners. Sex has become a lot more open now. Agreed prostitutes are either in it either because they want too or they're forced into it for whatever reason.

Now what you need to think about is this person who seems to like you, how much do you like him.
How was he brought up because was it okay to do this type of thing as to him it might be normal and he may not understand why you find it so difficult to deal with.
You should talk to him.
How would you feel down the line when you see him with someone else and you see that it working out well and they are going places together and that you let a decent bloke go just because you couldn't get over his past. If he'd murdered someone or had been done for rape or child molesting, well then no, you'd stay well away but what he did do was agree to consenting sex with someone while probably balloxed drunk whiel away with all the lads.

Think about what you want. Should a currently good relationship be destroyed because you can't handle that he was with other women (whether he paid for it or not!). How would you feel without him.

I hope things work out best for both of you.

Marksie

cheesedude wrote: »

That's why they have extreme sports like skydiving and bungee jumping...

And that is also why banging heroin addicted prostitutes with genital warts and Aids is not considered an extreme sport.

You know, a few years back i was in a realtionship with a woman who had been on the game. she told me quite early on.

So I know how silly, childish and immature such as this post is.

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote: »

You know, a few years back i was in a realtionship with a woman who had been on the game. she told me quite early on.

So I know how silly, childish and immature such as this post is.

LOL hate that. Why didn't you marry her? Maybe have a few kids too? Your clueless.

SEVEN out of 10 prostitutes have attempted suicide at least once, according to new research.
A study carried out among 22 prostitutes in Dublin found that half had been sexually abused as a child.

The survey found that nearly eight out of 10 had been attacked at least once and that more than half had been raped at least once.

The research, conducted by Siobhán Quinlan of Dublin Institute of Technology (DIT), found that:

* Half entered prostitution before the age of 18.

* More than half had experienced child sex abuse.

* Over half had suffered physical abuse.

* All but were one of the 22 were heroin addicts.

http://www.ndc.hrb.ie/directory/news_detail.php?cat_id=&news_id=2271&pointer=100

Marksie

Cheesedude: You bordeline with many of your posts in this forum
You stepped over with that one.
Banned

LegacyUser

Ridiculous...but fine i can live without seeing posts like yours for a while.

Loopy

OP, you have to respect his honesty, I understand why your not happy, I wouldn't relish the thoughts of my man having been with a prostitute either (he may have been, I wouldnt ask as Id rather not know).

Apart from paying for it what is the difference in him just being with other women. I know guys who have done it, a lot of them out there but thats life. He obviously used protection?, so either try accept it or you need to move on if you cant get these images out of your head. Good Luck.

Gemini Sister

Not all prostitutes are heroine addicts or disease riddled. If you take a look around the red light in amsterdam you will see all kinds of women, slim, big, fat, old, beautiful. Thats because there is literally a market for all types, the same as in normal relationships. So you really can't generalise. I've known a few. One of them were really beautiful and expensive. But I've never met any woman who's not damaged - if not starting out then certainly after.

Regarding your bf going to see them. Wouldn't bother me particularly as long as he never does it while with you. Tell him how you feel and move on. And yes, its a story of heard from bfs of my own before, but I've found it fascinating. Most decent guys will try it once for experience and thats it however.

denhaagenite

Cheesedude, as I said before, in some places prostitution is a perfectly legal and government controlled profession. In Amsterdam all of the windows display stickers saying that pimping is illegal, and if you're caught with a camera you could probably be deported. Now I'm not saying that it's a career I'd choose, what I'm saying is, in some places (the OP's boffriend referred to Amsterdam and Paris NOT inner city Dublin!!) the girls rights and wishes are protected BY LAW. So if you're going to continue insulting prostitutes, their clients, and opposing posters here educate yourself a little bit.

nhughes100

The worrying statistic on suicide is that far more men commit suicide then women(80%men, 20%women i think) but to get back to topic. It's hard to have a discussion on prostitution without all this "ah sure u probably aren't getting any" creeping into it but here goes.

I think prostitution should be legalised. I don't think either party is taking the other for a ride(excuse the pun) when it is legalised. I didn't think the Amsterdam rld was seedy just with all the guys selling cocaines and ecstasies. The women are the least seedy part of it. Many of them are smart and know exactly what they're doing and have a goal in mind not simply feeding a drug habit. They are well protected as are the clients.

This is sort of indicative of the Catholic Irish approach to sex that you're only supposed to have one partner and marry them and live happily ever after losing your virginity on your wedding night. The poster also seems to be quite low on self esteem in the first place with the comment"was she better then me, what was she wearing etc"A lot of Irish women are like this not only with sex workers but if they see their fella talking to the local bike or an attractive work colleague.

A lot of men don't want the hassle of relationships, a lot of men don't have time for relationships, a lot of men aren't capable of having a long term relationship. For some, like the disabled their only sexual outlet is prostitution and a lot of them want to keep it that way. Women seem to have more of a need for company then men - my experience anyway.

Opinions on the quirks of men and women aside I don't think you should dump him for being honest, it's a rare enough trait in people these days. As another poster said we all end up paying for it in the end. What if he told you he used to be a cocaine addict or he was with a man once? I make it a point not to discuss ex's with currents, there's no point, it's like you're looking for an excuse to cause an argument. I do think the poster is completely over reacting but what offends you and what offends me are two different things.

Just thinking about it aside from breaking trust during a relationship I don't think I'd dump someone for pretty much anything they did on the past(not unless it was worthy of the Jerry Springer show)

The Irish have an outdated attitude to sex in general, remember the uproar when Ann Summers opened in O'Connell street. Sorry "down with this sort of thing" is best left on craggy island.

This is much better news to get then he's having sex with your best friend, the prostitute won't marry him, won't text him, won't take him away from you, she just wants his money and then she wants the next guys money and so on and so on.

Dragan

cheesedude wrote: »

Ridiculous...but fine i can live without seeing posts like yours for a while.

Thats cool, we can live without seeing your posting as well without to much problem.

And taking a study done on a country where prostitution is illegal makes no sense when the issue the OP has is that her boyfriend engaged in a legal act.

SarahSassy

cowzerp wrote: »

Women can get sex on tap if they want it, men cant, fact.

Thats a very simplistic view... I am sure most people can get sex on tap but not with chemistry involved... I dont meet a guy every night I go out who I would like to drag home. Most of the time you meet people you just dont fancy and would not want to sleep with.... Sometimes you meet someone you do... Women may be able to get it on tap but quality rules over quantity so that rules out 90% of the population....

OP, I have no issue with other girls boyfriends going to prostitutes but I would have a problem with my own... Hypocritical? yes siree... I think, no matter how much I liked / loved him something would have changed irrevocably for me when he told me he had been with a prostitute... Dunno why but it definitely would. I dont know if I could continue in the relationship.

Auldloon

Sickandsad wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I posted earlier on about this situation but it must’ve gotten deleted. I’m very upset about it so I’ll keep it brief.
My boyfriend of 6 months who I’m really crazy about last night after dinner mentioned that he’s been with a few
Prostitutes. We were talking about traveling and swapping holiday stories when he said, really casually that the
Red light district in Paris is way less seedy than any other one he’s been too. He was in Paris with all his mates
For the rugby just before he met me. He said Amsterdam is by far the sleaziest. I just sat there in shock. I had no
Idea that he’d been to a prostitute before never mind several!!

I know it’s technically none of my business as it was before he met me but I feel cut up over this and don’t want him
Anywhere near me. I keep picturing him banging some girl in a seedy red room then regailing his frinds with all the
Sordid details in the pub later on….yeah lads, I did this to her and that to her..

Please help me deal with this, girls would this bother you? Whether it’s right to let it affect me or wrong, the fact is it’s
Tearing me apart so any kind words will be appreciated. I asked my friend in work and he said I’d be hard pushed to find
A guy who hasn’t or wouldn’t sh*g a prostitute so I really should just suck it up kinda thing. This did not help. Thanks.

Hi op
In my opinion based on some experience i would say its simple enough. This guy loves you and after 6 mths presumably knows you enough to realise you wouldnt be very impressed with what he has done. He wants you to see accept and love him for what he is imperfections and all.
Maybe to help put your mind at ease "banging some girl" you have just handed money to and knowing full well she is faking everything is not a memorable experience for most guys.
Contary to what you imaging the vast majority of guys over 18 when taking about any sexual encounter will only go as far as saying they had an ok, good, great time etc. Details are for fellas who prob couldnt get it up or lasted 30 seconds lol.
I have done it 3 times but not in over 15 years and can definately say i would never do it again. I have had 3 serious relationships since, one i didnt tell as i knew she wouldnt want to know another was curious then indifferent and the third found it exciting and wanted to know details i could hardly remember. So were all different and at the end of all this its only you who knows if you can handle this and if he is worth it.
Good luck.

AARRRGH

OP: Did you ever stop and think how your boyfriend could also start thinking about your history? You know, what did she do with them, how many times, what was he wearing, was he better then me, will she do it again, etc.

Should he dump you for this?

If you're just feeling insecure about your boyfriend having been with other women, you need to get over yourself. It's a fact of life that most people have a history.

If you specifically have a problem with prostitution, for whatever reasons, you need to make some kind of peace with this as a lot of men use or have used prostitutes. The reality is you'll never know for certain if your future partners are angels.

Prostitution is legal in Ireland as it is neither immoral* nor harmful**. What a man and woman agree to do is their own business. There's a lot more choice in that one hour than your average Saturday night drunken one night stand.

You don't have to like his history, but you're the one with the issue, not him.

*Consensual sex is not immoral, whether you pay for it or not.
**If the prostitute doesn't like her job yet chooses to continue doing it, any psychological harm is self-inflicted and should not be blamed on prostitution. Re physical harm, prostitutes use condoms.