Quickies

Hagar

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

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A teenager asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled 'LSD' ?'
Granny replies, 'F@*# the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!!'

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Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees.
Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.
Dad says, 'So what were you watchin'?'
Billy says, 'Wimbledon.'

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A woman standing nude in front of a mirror asks her husband,
'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment!'
He replies, 'You have perfect eyesight!'

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Wife gets naked and asks hubby,
'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!'