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Moving in with himself

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  • 14-04-2008 11:48pm
    #1
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭


    Hey ladies,
    SO this weekend coming i am taking the big plunge and moving half way up the country to move in with my boyfriend!!!
    I can not wait, although sometimes we fight like eejets over the smallest of things we love each other so so much and i hope to god this will work out for us!!!
    "If you want to get to know me .. come live with me" yikes :)
    Ah sure we spend all our spare time together so id say it will be fine ...
    just wondering, do you experienced gals want to offer some advice on how to handle my man or what to expect when cohabiting with himself?


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    #2
    Water Sprite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭Water Sprite


    All I've got to say is...good luck to you then!! lol

    But seriously, don't fret about small stuff. There are bound to be differences in how you do things or what your expectations are. Be willing to adapt. Pick your battles. Only "go to the mattresses" when something he's doing (or not doing) could be a dealbreaker for you. Otherwise, enjoy! : )


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    #3
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    I cant wait, i havent been this excited since i was small :)
    haha and i am far from small now .. well young anyway! :)


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    #4
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    Moving in with my bf was the best thing I ever did. I love living with him. I find it makes life so much easier. The best thing about it is you can go out and see your friends/family and then come home and he is there, so there's less balancing of seeing my friends/bf tonight.

    The only advice I have is to come to some sort of arrangement on chores etc. We're very laid back about it and basically have "jobs" that are our responsibility. He takes out all the rubbish/recycling, I clean the bathrooms. I cook, he washes up. We split all costs 50/50. This puts a stop to any petty arguements that may arise. Especially if, as you say above you fight with your bf sometimes about little things.

    Best of luck, you'll love it!


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    #5
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    i would never live with a boy again - they are smelly and lazy


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    #6
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    irishbird wrote: »
    i would never live with a boy again - they are smelly and lazy

    They are smelly, true! Two words: Guinness Farts /shudders

    Luckily I'm lazier than my bf. He gets me things from the kitchen while I lie in bed. It's great!


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    #7
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    Well thank god my boyfriend doesn't drink :D YAY so no guiness farts .. :)
    Although do they really need guinness as an excuse ...
    btw guys i didnt mean we argue all the time i meant .. we never fight over big things .. if we do fight its over little things! :D
    I agree with the half and half .. i think our arguments will be over his time on his computer! :D


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    #8
    moco
    Registered Users Posts: 972 ✭✭✭moco


    Definitely don't let him get in the habit of you doing everything round the house, train him in from the start!

    Good luck:)


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    #9
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    She Devil wrote: »
    Well thank god my boyfriend doesn't drink :D YAY so no guiness farts .. :)
    Although do they really need guinness as an excuse ...
    btw guys i didnt mean we argue all the time i meant .. we never fight over big things .. if we do fight its over little things! :D
    I agree with the half and half .. i think our arguments will be over his time on his computer! :D

    I didn't think you argued all the time. I know what you mean about the little things. We don't really have proper fights either, just one of us being narky over something small!

    You're so lucky on the Guinness fart front!


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    #10
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Remember to give each other plenty of space!

    I know living together feels all shiney and new but that will eventually wear off if you see too much of each other! Remember to keep whatever current seperate activities you have seperate, be it girly nights out, going down the gym, friends for coffee. Keep that kind of thing up and don't fall into the trap of becoming reliant on each other.

    Sadly that is what happened when my exgirlfriend and i moved in together. We saw too much of each other and it ended up killing what we had, which was a shame i guess.

    Also, if you guys can, set up a new bank account and pop money in their each month to cover bills and rent. Stick in a little bit extra and you'd be amazed how fast that builds up to cover a holiday and the like.


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    #11
    helimachoptor
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    Best piece of advice.

    You will have different ideas of when your home is clean.
    These may differ wildly :D

    Do not force him to clean or he will leave you an old and broken spinster:D:D

    Oh and being greeted by you at the door after a lonf day at work should help things also and maybe could him some steak too :rolleyes:


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    #12
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    Mr SheDevil is that you???? :)
    His hours are very varied so i shall not be standing at the door at 6am wearing a smile when that is his finishing time thank you very much! :D


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    #13
    LouOB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭LouOB


    1. learn to take deep breaths
    2. make sure you have emergency number for girls drinks
    3. each person has a department - my BF dept is ironing - I DONT IRON
    4. make sure you state very clearly what you need done and by when - repeat when necessary
    5. make sure you DONT end up doing everything - only yourself to blame
    6. designate dates/time for sexy time - when you and BF busy & tired can get left behind
    7. have girls/boys nights in/out - you do have life

    anymore hmmmmmmmmmmmm... ill get back later


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    #14
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Pretty much what Dragan said. Try not to morph into the one being, keep separate interests. Good call on the bank account too for bills & household stuff.

    Also don't expect him to be a mind reader. If you have a problem, spit it out. Communication is key.

    Best of luck OP. :)


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    #15
    [WoW]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭[WoW]


    dont worry you'll love it! moved in with my bf two months ago too. we argue over the smallest of things too but no more than we used to! just make sure you split costs and jobs from the start.
    Have fun! ;)


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    #16
    Quality
    Registered Users Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    Dont sleep on a fight, deal with it there and then...

    And just enjoy each other, and dont take each other for granted..

    Tell him you love him every day...

    Have seperate interests but a bond together...

    And enjoy sex on tap for the next few months...:D


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    #17
    Water Sprite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭Water Sprite


    Lots of good advice here. I'll have to follow some of it next time. lol

    One more thing I was thinking about...don't give up when the "honeymoon" phase is over. Think of it as a journey that will take you through both valleys AND peaks. Tough out the valleys and you're bound to reach the peaks again. :)


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    #18
    misswex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 745 ✭✭✭misswex


    Oh this is such an exciting time for you. Its the best thing to move in with somebody you love but my main piece of advice is to not forget your friends etc. I've seen so many girls move in with their boyfriends and then forget about their friends and never make time to meet up with them etc. Its extremely important to keep that side of your life going.

    My advice on living with the boyfriend so that you won't argue over petty things is to:
    - Definitely set up a joint account that you both put money into to pay for bills and also as Dragan said, ye could put a little bit extra in and that could be used for a holiday or a nice tv etc
    - still have 'dates' every now and again as sometimes when couples move in with each other they think oh we don't need to bother going out together, going to the cinema together etc. I feel its very important to get dressed up together sometimes and just go out for a meal or just for a few drinks.
    - share housework so that neither of you build up resentment against each other for being the one that does it all.

    Best of luck :)


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    #19
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    [WoW] wrote: »
    dont worry you'll love it! moved in with my bf two months ago too. we argue over the smallest of things too but no more than we used to! just make sure you split costs and jobs from the start.
    Have fun! ;)

    LOL this is called the honeymoon period, come back in 6 months :)


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    #20
    scoot on
    Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭scoot on


    Take no notice of small arguments at the start. I think it takes a while to get used to living with someone. My bf used to wind me up something rotten when we moved in together first. I think it took me at least 6 months to stop reacting every time he pushed the wind up button! Now I just laugh at him and tell him to feck off :D


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    #21
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    Alot of posts here say .. make sure not to lose contact with your friends etc .. but i am moving to a city where i don't actually know anyone so it will be hard for me not to actually spend time with my boyfriend solely until i make new friends. We have the joint account thing sorted, we know we are together forever so those things are ok :) but i really am worried i will become a little too dependant on him at first! Just have to make an extra special effort to make new life long friends :) God if my oldest friends read that they would kill me :)


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    #22
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    She Devil wrote: »
    Alot of posts here say .. make sure not to lose contact with your friends etc .. but i am moving to a city where i don't actually know anyone so it will be hard for me not to actually spend time with my boyfriend solely until i make new friends. We have the joint account thing sorted, we know we are together forever so those things are ok :) but i really am worried i will become a little too dependant on him at first! Just have to make an extra special effort to make new life long friends :) God if my oldest friends read that they would kill me :)

    I feel your pain she devil. I'm moving across the world with my bf. I don't know anyone in NZ and he has lots of friends. I think I'll be very dependent on him for a while but I'm hoping working and making joining a class or something will get me to meet new people.

    I was only thinking this morning how strange it'll be. I have a very strong group of friends and we've known each other over 10 years. It'll be strange to not have them nearby to phone or pop over to. I guess, in the end it will be good for us to get out there and meet new people!

    Best of luck!


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    #23
    nice1franko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,300 ✭✭✭nice1franko


    LouOB wrote: »
    1. learn to take deep breaths
    2. make sure you have emergency number for girls drinks
    3. each person has a department - my BF dept is ironing - I DONT IRON
    4. make sure you state very clearly what you need done and by when - repeat when necessary
    5. make sure you DONT end up doing everything - only yourself to blame
    6. designate dates/time for sexy time - when you and BF busy & tired can get left behind
    7. have girls/boys nights in/out - you do have life

    anymore hmmmmmmmmmmmm... ill get back later

    eh is that not being bossy and nagging?


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    #24
    Star Lord
    Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    watna wrote: »
    I'm moving across the world with my bf.

    In 7 days time!!! :D

    Excited?


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    #25
    LouOB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭LouOB


    nice1franko wrote: »
    eh is that not being bossy and nagging?

    its all about the tone - really


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    #26
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    She Devil wrote: »
    . We have the joint account thing sorted, we know we are together forever so those things are ok :)


    i hope for your sake you are because joint banks are a nightmare to sort out if you break up.

    you should never get a joint bank account - ever, they are evil


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    #27
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    DamoElDiablo wrote: »
    In 7 days time!!! :D

    Excited?

    You bet your ass I am! That ticker got me through some hard times. It was only for myself so I could see the days go down!


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    #28
    Star Lord
    Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    irishbird wrote: »
    i hope for your sake you are because joint banks are a nightmare to sort out if you break up.
    you should never get a joint bank account - ever, they are evil
    They are good for bills/saving together etc... but you should retain your individual accounts too!
    watna wrote: »
    You bet your ass I am! That ticker got me through some hard times. It was only for myself so I could see the days go down!
    Does I gotta bet my ass? It's not the prettiest one, but I am rather attached to it, and would hate to lose it :pac: :(


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    #29
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    Awww best of luck watna .. and here is me giving out cos my friends are 400 miles away ... God i feel like such a div :)
    So far so good with himself and the whole big change of scene, thanks for the advice :)
    And in order to meet new people i will make sure to meet up on the next LL meeting of sorts :)


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    #30
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    Best of luck moving in OP. Hope it all works out :)


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