Reasons to hate

Sherifu

10. Noisy doors.
You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding doors. They're dead silent. If those doors went "wheet!" every time a person walked through them, about once a month some guy in accounting would snap and go on a shooting rampage. Sorry Scotty, the IEEE has revoked your membership until you learn to master WD-40


9. The Federation.
This organization creeps me out. A planet-wide government that runs everything, and that has abolished money. A veritable planetary DMV. Oh sure, it looks like a cool place when you're rocketing around in a Federation Starship, but I wonder how the guy driving a Federation dump truck feels about it?


And everyone has to wear those spandex uniforms. Here's an important fact: Most people, you don't want to see them in spandex. You'd pay good money to not have to see them. If money hadn't been abolished, that is. So you're screwed.


8. Reversing the Polarity.
For cripes sake Giordi, stop reversing the polarity of everything! It might work once in a while, but usually it just screws things up. I have it on good authority that the technicians at Starbase 12 HATE that. Every time the Enterprise comes in for its 10,000 hour checkup, they've gotta go through the whole damned ship fixing stuff. "What happened to the toilet in Stateroom 3?" "Well, the plumbing backed up, and Giordi thought he could fix it by reversing the polarity."


Between Scotty's poor lubrication habits and Geordi's damned polarity reversing trick, it's a wonder the Enterprise doesn't just spontaneously explode whenever they put the juice to it.


7. Seatbelts.
Yeah, I know this one is overdone, but you'd think that the first time an explosion caused the guy at the nav station to fly over the captain's head with a good 8 feet of clearance, someone would say, "You know, we might think of inventing some furutistic restraining device to prevent that from happening." So of course, they did make something like that for the second Enterprise (the first one blew up due to poor lubrication), but what was it? A hard plastic thing that's locked over your thighs. Oh, I'll bet THAT feels good in the corners. "Hey look! The leg-bars worked as advertised! There goes Kirk's torso!"


6. No fuses.
Every time there's a power surge on the Enterprise the various stations and consoles explode in a shower of sparks and throw their seatbelt-less operators over Picard's head. If we could get Giordi to stop reversing the polarity for a minute, we could get him to go shopping at the nearest Starship parts store and pick up a few fuses. And while he's shopping, he could stop at an intergalactic IKEA and pick up a few chairs for the bridge personnel. If you're going to put me in front of a fuseless exploding console all day, the least you could do is let me sit down.



5. Rule by committee.
Here's the difference between Star Trek and the best SF show on TV last year:

Star Trek:

Picard: "Arm photon torpedoes!"
Riker: "Captain! Are you sure that's wise?"
Troi: "Captain! I'm picking up conflicting feelings about this! And, it appears that you're a 'fraidy cat."
Wesley: "Captain, I'm just an annoying punk, but I thought I should say something."
Worf: "Captain, can I push the button? This is giving me a big Klingon warrior chubby."
Giordi: "Captain, I think we should reverse the polarity on them first."
Picard: "I'm so confused. I'm going to go to my stateroom and look
pensive."


Firefly:

Captain: "Let's shoot them."
Crewman: "Are you sure that's wise?"
Captain: "Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I'll BEAT YOU WITH until you realize who's in command."
Crewman: "Aye Aye, sir!"


4. A Star Trek quiz:
Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and 'Ensign Gomez' beam down to a planet. Which one isn't coming back?


3. Technobabble.
The other night, I couldn't get my car to start. I solved the problem by reversing the polarity of the car battery, and routing the power through my satellite dish. The resulting subspace plasma caused a rift in the space-time continuum, which created a quantum tunnelling effect that charged the protons in the engine core, thus starting my car. Child's play, really. As a happy side-effect, I also now get the Spice Channel for free.


2. The Holodeck.
I mean, it's cool and all. But do you really believe that people would use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the holodeck clean.


1. The Prime Directive.
How stupid is this? Remember when Marvin the Martian was going to blow up the Earth, because it obstructed his view of Venus? And how Bugs Bunny stopped him by stealing the Illudium Q36 Space Modulator? Well, in the Star Trek universe, Bugs would be doing time. Probably in a room filled with Roseanne lookalikes wearing spandex uniforms, walking through doors going WHEET! all day. It would be heck. At least until the Kaboom. The Earth-shattering Kaboom.

nyarlothothep

10. Maybe in the 24th century cultural evolution has made it so that everyone likes the sound of whishing doors and therefore the doors are built to that spec.

9. The dumper ships would be computer controlled, in the Federation everyone can pursue their ambitions

8. Geordi doesn't use the polarity solution everytime though maybe he uses it more often than not because its one that works for a lot of problems.

7. Maybe they don't need seatbelts because due to federation culture they're frightened of being shackled down.

6. They use multiple redundancy fuses but perhaps the power outage is so unexpected that it blows them all up, bear in mind starships encounter some very unusual aliens and anomalies in the depths of space.

5. Heresy.

4. The ensigns are inexperienced on away missions and so are likely to make mistakes, therefore they die.

3. It all makes perfect sense (if you're acquainted with 24th century physics).

2. Maybe they've become so culturally advanced that they no longer need to indulge in base pleasures. Or porn is probably banned anyway for hygiene reasons.

1. The Prime Directive is of utmost importance. However it has been disregarded from time to time. In the bugs bunny case, I think the Enterprise crew would realize that preventing Marvin the Martian from carrying out genocide would take precedence over the Prime Directive.

Sherifu

nyarlothothep

set phasers to stun...

norrie rugger

You misquoted Firefly BTW

User45701

Ye true it was Jane who said that, he is not the captin

Jim

And I think it was "its a chain I beat you with until you do what I command".

Goodshape

Firefly was a load of crap anyway.

norrie rugger

Goodshape wrote: »

Firefly was a load of crap anyway.

you know nothing

norrie rugger

Jimeatsmenu wrote: »

And I think it was "its a chain I beat you with until you do what I command".

Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with, 'till you understand who is in rutten command here

Sherifu

You guys FAIL at jokes.

norrie rugger

Sherifu wrote: »

You guys FAIL at jokes.

Now now, don't be upset.
You can have a supply of self sealing stembolts to take home

Goodshape

norrie rugger wrote: »

You can have a supply of self sealing stembolts to take home

I'll trade you some Yamok sauce for them.

Irishtrekkie

i love firefry but i dont go around saying star trek is better then it , and listing reasons ( i saved that for Battlestar galatica lol ) .

but really meh enough of that stuff on the internet already . but since i am not very mature i might as well just say one thiny little thing

firefly = 14 episodes 1 movie

star trek = 726 episodes 10 movies , here comes number 11

yea b**ch burn !!!

my god i am actually big kid at times

The_Minister

Goodshape wrote: »

Firefly was a load of crap anyway.

/SLAP!

Cactus Col

Reasons to hate voyager:

1) The Kazon, a very weak enemy

2) Disregarding continuity (particularily where the voyager crew came back to present day earth)

3) The federation crew and Maquis crew became far too friendly far too quickly

4) Fair Haven

5) (as previously mentioned) the pussification of major bad bad guys Q and the Borg.

.....

The_Minister

Sherifu wrote: »

2. The Holodeck.
I mean, it's cool and all. But do you really believe that people would use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the holodeck clean.

Maybe they finish up, and then play Sherlock Holmes?
They do hint a fair bit that the holodeck can be used for sexual encounters.

User45701

Well quark knew what holosuites where for anyway. I always assumed that was the distinction, federation/family friendly ones where called holodecks and other species who didnt have restrictions called them suites? or maybe thats just the ferrengi name.

I think if holodecks where real most people would spend there entire teenage years there and some people there hole lives