[Req] Comedy Song Lyrics

FrCrilly

Hi All,

I'm looking to compile the lyrics of a number comedy songs. The kind of thing I'm looking for are songs of a naughty nature that can't be traced back to any particular songwriter. An example is the below take on the Wolfe Tones' song "Streets of New York" which is about masturbation.

If you happen to know anything along these lines, feel free to share it (either by putting down the lyrics or an internet link to a recording of the song).

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks In Advance for all responses.


[To the tune of "Streets of New York" by the Wolfe Tones]

1.
I was ten years of age when I learned about ****
with my hand in my pocket I took her to town
with the pushing and pulling and stroking and cranking
Once I picked her up, I couldn't put her down

I was wankin so much that my elbow got sore
my palms got all hairy and my eyesight got poor
and I said ah sure what could be better than this
except if I could give my Willie a kiss

2.
My father once caught me pulling my toffee
and floggin my frog, while out in the bog
He said for this transgression you must go to confession
and tell all your sins to old Father McNab

I said Father I'm sorry for stretching my Larry
and for beating the Bishop to beat the old band
he said say ten Our Fathers and twenty Hail Marys
and an Act of Contrition for the sins of your hand

But as I was praying my hand started straying
and I felt the sensation vibratin' my rocks
and I reached for my ballocks and had one more frolic
before I vacated the confessional box