Boards.ie in the year 2020 ... what will it be like?

Vegeta

Wazdakka wrote: »

CuLT actually has a plan for the longtearm development of boards..

As I understand it, he has been working for the last two years on a way to fully integrate his brain into the boards servers. This project is nearing completion (Hence all the database errors recently)
Next all he has to do is use some minor (Possibly google banner based) subliminal messages to assert his full control over all the users.
Apparently research indicates that anybody with a post count of under 1500 is epically vulnerable.
After the theory is established and with boards as the central hub of his ever expanding techno empire, CuLT will advance across the planet uprooting governments and ruling us all with an iron fist..

Lolcats is futile...

We are the Boards...

He will then Nuke the planet, givng rise to a battle between man and machine.

In the future of this terrible war a robot will be sent back in time, to try and destroy CuLT's mother

Failing, they will then send a more advanced model afer CuLT himself, who is profecient on a small scrambler type motor bike (the card skimming bastard)

it'll all work out in the end though

dundun dun dun dun.

javaboy

Assuming we've all taken our iodine tablets and survived the inevitable nuclear disaster/meteor/global warming etc. Boards.ie.earth (I'm assuming aliens will be around by then necessitating the .earth) will consist of a bunch of mutant messenger pigeonrats carrying our posts from place to place for other boardsies to read. What's left of the actual internet in the post-apocalyptic era will likely be heavily censored and riddled with government spies and thus the need for mutant messenger pigeonrats. On the plus side, lolcats form a core part of a pigeonrats diet so most feedback threads will be less cluttered.

It will be revealed that Victor is actually 17 different people as nobody can really post that much.

The "Here's what I saw today" thread in the motors forum will be amalgamated with the "I saw an abandoned classic" thread in the motors-classics forum since car production will stop around 2017 as no new fuel source will be found to replace oil. Sadly the last car to ever roll off an assembly line will be a Nissan Tiida.


I also do palms.

stevenmu

• People will still be complaining that we don't have flying cars yet

• Txtspk will have been adopted into the dictionary and be in normal use. To try and be cool and different, teenagers will write out a word, import it as an image into Microsoft Photoshop and cut the bottom half off of it. They shall be ridiculed.

• You will have to be an emo to become a moderator. Feedback will be filled with threads such as "Why won't the users understand me", "Get rid of pac-smilie, it looks too happy an makes me sad" and "Can we arrange the drop-down menus in the shape of a crucifix"

• Cats will have been made extinct after an unfortunate incident involving someone trying to make an image saying "AIDS LOL". Lolcats will therefore be replaced with Lol-ginger-people

• People will access the internet and boards via neural implants. A VB plugin will allow the administration of electric shocks via the ban button. Beruthial will become the first person in history to face 317 seperate simultaneous murder charges.

• Atari will have finally released a new games console, promising an unprecedented 64 billion quantam bits. It will turn out to only be two 32 billion quantam bit consoles duct-taped together, be a huge failure and become the new default option on polls, finally replacing the Atari Jaguar

• Bubbles will be unbanned

• The Politics forum will be closed for safety reasons after a thread on which everyone appeared to agree

• Several feedback threads will immediately appear in the aftermath of this from people demanding the right to post that Bertie was a liar

• The Paranormal forum is renamed "Science"

• After Hours will become the first multi-human entity to be elected to the Seanad. It will be placed in charge of a policy steering comitte on imigration. It's first policy document will be delivered 3 years late and consist of the phrase "Yore Ma !" written 17 thousand times.

• The Scientology forum will be the most popular forum on boards.

• Users from the Microwave and Time-Machine forum will travel back in time preventing the forum ever being made, "just for the craic like". The resulting temporal paradox results in many users experiencing "Datastore Errors" when trying to post. Luckily Regi is able to install some more RAM and reverse the polarity of the flux capaciter getting everything running smoothly again.

• National obesity levels will soar as the fitness forum becomes so popular that people sit posting on it all day instead of excersising

• People will continue to post in Personal Issue asking how to find love

• The Green Issues forum will be pretty quiet after everyone has decided that global warming is actually pretty nice and they will all spend their time sunning themselves on the world famous Kildare beaches and picking pineapples out of trees.

• A new Boards.ie maternity hospital will be opened in Dublin (which is now actually in Kildare thanks to global warming), roughly 9 months after BGRH and TLL decide to hold a joint beers.
  
  

javaboy

I like the way you assume Microsoft will buy or otherwise acquire Photoshop

Vegeta

javaboy wrote: »

I also do palms.

So do all the guys here :pac:

javaboy

Vegeta wrote: »

So do all the guys here :pac:

Locked and moved to S&S

Thrill

Gordon will be dishing out his one millionth ban while elsewhere on Boards, Victor will be submitting his one billionth post.

The hamsters will be put out of their misery and will be replaced by faster, genetically modified ferrets.

Overheal

Pighead wrote: »

Male users will have the ability to sniff the female users underpants.

lmfao

Zaph

- Pighead finally masters the art of posting in the first person.

- To celebrate its one millionth post, the bar in BGRH starts selling real beer, delivered through recently installed ultra-high speed cabling. However this isn't available in Leitrim as they're still on dial-up there.

- Trolls, spammers and shills are no longer simply banned from Boards, they're deported to a remote jungle island with no way off and no facilites where they must fend for themselves. The daily show, I'm a Muppet, Get me Out of Here, becomes Boards TV's biggest ratings winner.

- Boards history is created when a whole month goes by without someone demanding the closure of the mustard forum.

- Approval for the Microwave & Time Machine forum is expected "any day now".

- Meet the Spartans is re-assessed and is now considered to be a modern classic. It becomes Film of the Week for an unprecedented 37th week in a row, but as the forum is private this fact goes largely unnoticed.

- The Ladies Lounge welcomes its 1,000th mod since its inception.

- Madeline McCann is found safe an well, thus necessitating the closure of the longest running thread in Lolocaust.

- Rep is re-instated on a trial basis. Boards implodes one day later.

_blank_

stevenmu wrote: »

[/LIST]
[*]A new Boards.ie maternity hospital will be opened in Dublin (which is now actually in Kildare thanks to global warming), roughly 9 months after BGRH and TLL decide to hold a joint beers.


[/LIST]

There already was a joint BGRH/tLL Beers, last month.

But :eek::eek:

I met my gf at a BGRH Beers.

IS SHE PREGNANT?????

stevenmu

Yes, but don't worry, it's not yours












very very just kidding

_blank_

No need for the last line there mate

I'm not the sensitive type.

javaboy

Zaph wrote: »

- Trolls, spammers and shills are no longer simply banned from Boards, they're deported to a remote jungle island with no way off and no facilites where they must fend for themselves. The daily show, I'm a Muppet, Get me Out of Here, becomes Boards TV's biggest ratings winner.

If reality TV is still around in 12 years time I'm going postal on the TV network bigwigs :mad::mad:

Kur4mA

It'll be like crack just like it is now.

Villain

kyub wrote: »

It'll be like crack just like it is now.

Nope crack doesn't affect your work as much as boards does

stevenmu

DesF wrote: »

No need for the last line there mate

I'm not the sensitive type.

I thought not, but you can't be too safe these days. I'll keep that in mind though next time I'm slagging off your gf :pac:

311

In twenty years there'll be boards linky's on tv programs ,with reviews by members on products and purchases.

There'll also be politicians who are boardsies and fight for interweb policies! :pac: