Jokes from Waterford

Capt'n Midnight

Q. What's the difference between the Cork Hurling Team and the Ryder Cup Team?
A. There's only one Langer in the Ryder Cup Team

Q: How many Galway fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Galway...

Q. What's the difference between the Offaly goalie and Pamela Anderson?
A. Pamela Anderson's only got two t*ts in front of her.



GAA Quotes

1. 'Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine,but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players' - Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final

2. I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"- Joe Lynch, actor.

3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes before any of the players noticed the ball was missing" - Michael Smith.

4. "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard" -- Tipp fan on the Galway legend.

5. "I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in" - Ger Loughnane.

6. "He's like Lazarus; but Lazarus didn't have such a sweet right boot" -- Micheal O'Muircheartaigh on Colin Corkery.

7. "Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech" -- John O'Mahony.

8. "There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would drive you to drink" -- Sligo Fan after 2002 Connact final.

9. "The wheel fell off my mobile home" -- Offaly's Eugene McGee explains why he was late for training.

10. "When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock" -- Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain).

11. 'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday' -
Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs. Kilkenny

12. 'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training-like dogs' -anonymous Clare hurler

13. 'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife...she really hates you' - Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane

14. 'You can't win derbies with donkeys' - Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990

15. 'Sheep in a heap' -Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998

16. 'Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him' - Offaly fan in 1998

17. 'And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers' - Former Clare mentor to one of his subs after a heavy defeat

18. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row" -- Wexford Fan in 1996.

19. 'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag' - Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team

20. 'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first' - Cork fan 1988

21. 'Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and blue' -another Cork fan 1988

22. 'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks' - Kerry fan

23. 'Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a football in months' - Kerry player during league campaign 1980s


Man, "My dog watches all the Tipperary games on TV. Everytime they lose, he lies down and cries his eyes out."
Friend, "That's incredible. What does he do when they win?"
Man, "I don't know, I'll let you know when it actually happens."

Capt'n Midnight

What do you call someone who eats dogs ?
A Madra Ater

dh0661

Excellent - I love it.

BioHazRd

Overheard during a wexford - kilkenny hurling match

Kilkenny Fan - "There are two things that come out of wexford. Strawberries and knackers. And you my friend, are no f**cking strawberry"

Mahatma coat

18. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row" -- Wexford Fan in 1996.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
So True