Opinion, Am I right or wrong?

RedXIV

i can see where you're coming from OP, but sometimes a lazy day just is what the doc ordered. I went through a horrible phase a few years ago where i was working 12+ hours a day, seven days a week and still used to come home and cook for myself and housemates that wanted food.

And one day i had off i enjoyed lazing about so much that i think it actually offended the girl living with me and she snapped, roaring i should have had the house spotless. Now if the bf does his fair share of chores on sat and sun and then gets monday off, don't go mental at him. everyone likes a lazy day.

Now saying that, if he does nothing ANY day he's off, including sat and sun, that needs sorting out

Reku

personaltrainer wrote: »

OK going to shorten this dwn as much as I can,
basically I live with my boyfriend, I'm a student and work part time and he works full time. When I have a day off I always have food ready for him, house clean the usual. Yesterday he had a day off which was unusual it been a monday, I was in college from 9-5 and when I came home the house was a mess, bed not made and he expected me to cook dinner!! Am I wrong giving out crap to him??????:eek:

I'd say you were well justified. Was he at least doing some DIY and making himself useful or was it all just a bum about the house day? That he hadn't even made the bed is just :eek:, it takes all of 2-3 minutes FFS! Clearly he shouldn't have to spend the entire day making the house immaculate but he should at least make some effort and clear up after himself, you're not his hired help and he needs to remember this.

I don't live with my OH but I expect the dishes to be done at least a couple of times a week and fresh towels bedlinen at his, and if I've had a ****ty day he cooks for me whether he's had a day off or not, and it is vice versa.

He'll put on a wash when he gets home and I'll fold it when it comes out the washer dryer.
Its compromise and its only recently (when I've been there sometimes 5 nights a week) that I've even started to help out with washing but I felt guilty. I swore to myself I wouldn't lift a hand in a man's place unless I was ever living with him but I just moved house a few months ago and I like my new place and I work ten mins from my house too

tbh

Deleted User wrote: »

He'll put on a wash when he gets home and I'll fold it when it comes out the washer dryer.

Whhuuuuttt-TISH!!!

MattKid

With hand on heart I wouldn't have expected dinner cooked for me, but a quick brief of what needed doing would have been needed for me to do housework. Men / boys do have that natural ability not to notice these things by ourselves.

Girls, GTA4 comes out at the end of the month, do you think we are going to be doing anything else with our spare time:D

stovelid

I'm in charge of hunter-gathering and defense in my house, so I would naturally object to doing housework on my day off.

the GALL

well at least you'll know what your in for if you'se get married:eek:.....start as you mean to go on and all that.

The Sweeper

OP here's the rub - blokes should do their share of the housework at the weekends if you both work full time. End of story.

However, an unexpected day off - I wouldn't blame him for doing no cleaning up, but expecting to be fed and waiting until you got in for that was just crap. Even if he just rang you and said 'Shall I pick up takeaway'.

Saying that, I'm 100% more likely to fill my unexpected day off with house chores than my partner is.

personaltrainer

i understand that he's entitled to a day off, obviously everyone is....but hes off every saturday and sunday. We generally get take away r something easy as I never expect him to cook then or clean then. But when I was away all day (for some who think my course is easy etc...I'm doing law in trinity) I though or half expected, which i was wrong to, at least put some food on!!

Dragan

personaltrainer wrote: »

i understand that he's entitled to a day off, obviously everyone is....but hes off every saturday and sunday. We generally get take away r something easy as I never expect him to cook then or clean then. But when I was away all day (for some who think my course is easy etc...I'm doing law in trinity) I though or half expected, which i was wrong to, at least put some food on!!

And i still maintain you were right to expect a degree of effort on his behave, but as i said losing the plot with him was a bit pointless. An adult couple should be able to communicate clearly and only need to resort to shouting occassionally!

marti101

just out of interest who decorates and changes the pluggs and things like that if you do your share 50/50 then he should do more housework but if he does it then thats his contribution to the housework.Plus splitting housework50/50 doesnt work your better concentrating on the stuff your good at ie washing cooking and leaving yourman to do his stuff plugs sweeping etcetc.I know cause my fella is better at cleaning than me but i wash cook and that so its a partnership

stovelid

Have to admit that I detest (and am crap at) cooking, so in the OPs case, I'd ring in some nice Thai or Indian. That way, I find that the food thing doesn't cause conflict.

ztoical

marti101 wrote: »

just out of interest who decorates and changes the pluggs and things like that if you do your share 50/50 then he should do more housework but if he does it then thats his contribution to the housework.Plus splitting housework50/50 doesnt work your better concentrating on the stuff your good at ie washing cooking and leaving yourman to do his stuff plugs sweeping etcetc.I know cause my fella is better at cleaning than me but i wash cook and that so its a partnership

just cus your a man or woman doesn't mean your automatically better at doing housework or DIY. I know my brother wouldn't know one end of a harmer from the other. I do all my own DIY - re-wire plugs, hang pictures, fix the boiler etc I lived with a guy once who couldn't even connect the DVD player to the tv. Plus basic housework ie cleaning up after yourself isn't rocket science - lots of fellas live on their own and mange not to live in their own flith, just cus he starts living with someone doesn't mean he can start leaving all the cleaning to them. Sure theres guys out there that go from living with mammy to living with girlfriend and never have to do their own washing or iron their clothes but most of my male friends are well able to look after themselves and their living space with or without girlfriend.

There's always a few little bits to do cleaning wise round a house [and if you do 5 mins everyday the place will stay clean and you'll have to do a major clean every other week] but how much DIY do you seriously need to do on a weekly basis? I haven't had to change a plug or light in my place in ages.

Dudess

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

However, an unexpected day off - I wouldn't blame him for doing no cleaning up, but expecting to be fed and waiting until you got in for that was just crap. Even if he just rang you and said 'Shall I pick up takeaway'.

I'd be even more pissed off about the housework to be honest. Arriving home to a mess is just soul destroying (well I think it is anyway). Sure, on an unexpected day off he shouldn't feel obliged to scour the place with a toothbrush, but a quick runover of the kitchen and living room - i.e. putting things away, doing the wash-up, running a cloth over the table and worktops, a quick sweep/hoover - would take about 40 minutes.

marti101

ztoical wrote: »

just cus your a man or woman doesn't mean your automatically better at doing housework or DIY. I know my brother wouldn't know one end of a harmer from the other. I do all my own DIY - re-wire plugs, hang pictures, fix the boiler etc I lived with a guy once who couldn't even connect the DVD player to the tv. Plus basic housework ie cleaning up after yourself isn't rocket science - lots of fellas live on their own and mange not to live in their own flith, just cus he starts living with someone doesn't mean he can start leaving all the cleaning to them. Sure theres guys out there that go from living with mammy to living with girlfriend and never have to do their own washing or iron their clothes but most of my male friends are well able to look after themselves and their living space with or without girlfriend.

There's always a few little bits to do cleaning wise round a house [and if you do 5 mins everyday the place will stay clean and you'll have to do a major clean every other week] but how much DIY do you seriously need to do on a weekly basis? I haven't had to change a plug or light in my place in ages.

what i meant was everybody brings something different to a relationship so i think if they do the majority of decorating why cant you do the housework and im not implying she cant change a plugor that men are incapable of cleaning up after themselves .They have to learn themselves which way to do the housework how bout a roster