Two funny things I read in the Metro

Has anyone heard of that report from Dublin Zoo that was in the metro about their customer service lines being clogged up with prank phonecallers recently(Its true, read online to confirm)? People ringing asking for Annie Lyons, Anna Conda, G Raff etc. Apparently its getting totally out of control and the normal punters that ring in cant get through. So they have a voicemail set up saying if you are calling asking for Annie Lyons or Anna Conda or any other strange names please hang up as your call will be terminated. Only in Ireland I tell ya lads and lassies, bunch of messers we are

The other thing was the main letter written on their comments page by some tourist who visited Ireland. He was being sarcastic about not seeing leprachauns and red heads everywhere on his visit. I was in near tears. Anyone read it?

Sherifu

There was a thread on the zoo thing.

fail


Edit - Delete please ! Sad face .

flanum

i looked in all the newsagents in cavan today, i could not find this mystery "daily metro" newspaper!! maybe you have to subscribe to it or something?

Jello

flanum wrote: »

i looked in all the newsagents in cavan today, i could not find this mystery "daily metro" newspaper!! maybe you have to subscribe to it or something?

It's a free paper that's given out on weekday mornings in Dublin.

Blush_01

Jello wrote: »

It's a free paper that's given out on weekday mornings in Dublin.

Gee... anybody else wondering if that was what flanum was getting at? :rolleyes:

kovski

I read the same story with people looking for Rory Lions. It's childish but it made me laugh i have to admit. Any other good ones?

buckfast4me

The concept of a "free paper" or free anything is unheard of in Cavan

flanum

wheres the devil emoticon?

flanum

op, what did ya reckon on the article in the celt about the pylons?

Tha Gopher

flanum- I once read a report in your local rag which mentioned someone on trial for posession of "ecstasy tables" a grand total of six times in one article, I sh1t you not.

Can we make anti Dublin moaning a bannable offence?

Dudess

I'm not a member of the anti Dublin brigade but I don't have time for people just assuming everyone here is from/lives in Dublin - e.g. starting threads with "you know your one you'd always see on the corner between Nassau Street and South Frederick Street"... you know, stuff that just takes for granted that everyone will know what they're on about. Fair enough to start a thread about something Dublin-centric and state specifically that it's in Dublin for those who might not know.

As for the Metro thing, the OP might have assumed it's a national rag.

Sherifu

It's threads like "did you see the bike chase on such and such street?" should be in the Dublin forum for sure. I didn't mind this one so much but it would be good to stick in if it's a Dublin only thing so everyone knows.

It isn't that much effort to use/check the regional fora.

Unpossible

KaG1888 wrote:

The other thing was the main letter written on their comments page by some tourist who visited Ireland. He was being sarcastic about not seeing leprachauns and red heads everywhere on his visit. I was in near tears. Anyone read it?

Was that the one from a few years ago where some middle-aged woman came here expecting leprechans and some local wag told her they were almost extinct ? She then went on to tell us thats what people came here for and that it was a great shame that we hunted them to extinction.
Or is it a new one?
Could you (or someone else) scan the letter or re-write it, I'd love to see it.

Mushy

Sorry to resurrect this, despite it being only one day, but I feel this is funnier(and will prob be in the Metro tomorrow):

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN2319603620080424

Reuters wrote:

By Joe Bavier

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

I saw this and just couldnt stp laughing. But seriously lads, what would ye do if it happened to yourself? I barely even wanna begin thinkin bout it, but a decent cry, and many pints should sort it all out!

aliqueenb

omg a guy did that to my friend, he text her the number saying they were asking for her and she was to phone back and ask for mr. lyon. she didn't though but he told her in the end what he was up to. lol.

flanum

Dudess, i think i like you!