50 Dollar POker Poem competition!!!!!!

YULETIRED

Right, for my own amusement PLUS to try to cheer up the poker forum a bit...(eg Lucky Lucky) a lot of bad blood around thiis bananna patch.
Perhaps some levity will let some of the steam out of yizer britches...

So I will donate 50 Dollar...yes 50 American Dollars on pokerstars, to whoever comes up with the best poem to sum up the last 6 months on the poker forum.

I will decide one week from now on the winner...Wednesday May 7th at 13.00

I should ban Connie from entering to allow ye a fair crack at the whip but why deprive us...

bops

My Entry:

---

There was a young poker player from Dublin,
LOL!

---

Thankyou
ship it!!

El Stuntman

first verse for you:

Sit down all ye young wans and gather in close
While I tell you a tale both grotesque and gross
‘tis the story of Boards and the poker forum clique
Where you’ll find degens and scumbags (but mostly internet geeks)

pfft, $50 - pay your rewards in real currency you cheapskate!

Mr.Plough

Rag2gar lost his package
Its a shame but its true
luckylucky won't get in
to the clique and neither will you

give it to charity (i.e. me)

Killme00

Phil Coulter wrote: »

Now the music's gone but they carry on
For their spirit's been bruised, never broken
They will not forget but their hearts are set
on tomorrow and peace once again
For what's done is done and what's won is won
and what's lost is lost and gone forever
I can only pray for a bright, brand new day

Please let it end like this.

jbravado

Winner Winner chicken dinner,
Not so it seems,
Thanks to creeps behind screens,
A sad day indeed,
to satisfy someones egotistical greed.
Lol poemaments.

Mr.Plough

jbravado wrote: »

Winner Winner chicken dinner,
Not so it seems,
Thanks to creeps behind screens,
A sad day indeed,
to satisfy someones egotistical greed.
Lol poemaments.

winnar

YULETIRED

obviously I can't win myself but I can have a go.

W.S.O.P
It's fun to play at the W.S.O.P
they have everything for a man to enjoy,
you can even hang out with ladyboys..(ask ianmc)

Young man played a big sit and go,
he won man , but he can't get to go
'cuase theres a place where, he wrote it all down
now he's got kicked out and he's unhappy


someone wrote a mail to the man,
to descirbe him, think of a dik in a hand,
a wkr, with no conscience he is
going to someday get his comeuppence.....

W.S.O.P
It's fun to play at the W.S.O.P

YULETIRED

jbravado wrote: »

Winner Winner chicken dinner,
Not so it seems,
Thanks to creeps behind screens,
A sad day indeed,
to satisfy someones egotistical greed.
Lol poemaments.

careca

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a physcophrenic
And so am I.

nothing to do with poker, but who cares.

careca

careca wrote: »

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a physcophrenic
And so am I.

nothing to do with poker, but who cares.

Just doing up a poem now, but do you mean schizophrenic or illiterate? :pac::pac:

Mr.Plough

I dyslexia

Killme00

Deleted User wrote: »

Just doing up a poem now, but do you mean schizophrenic or illiterate? :pac::pac:

paranoid sycophant

The Al Lad

One day I wanted a row
So I started a fight with Mr.Plough
In came the clique
And kicked me in the diick
and off I went
head in bow

King of the ring is Floyd
King of the boards is Lloyd
tell him he's wrong and he'll be annoyed
And all bets will definietly be void

gary lost his prize
cos he forgot to open his eyes
he wrote a dodgy blog
and everest hopped in like a frog
poor ole Gary felt like a dog

to defend him was bic city banker
some people thought he was a waanker
I didn't agree with this
and the whole thread smelt of piiss


the masters is on this week
lucky I'm on a good streak
a woman will win it I bet
her name more than likely Collette

Willie has more Sn's than the sun
Sure he only posts for a bitta fun
everyone here is so serious
it makes me feel delirious

trippie is trippin in his blog
he treats r4ad like a dog

lets talk about the mods
or should I say wannabe gods
Ste05 seems like a tool
5starpool is normally cool
the other mods will ban me I think
because I kicked up this stink

end.

I walk through my day as a person,
I study or play cards or work,
I then sit before my computer,
My very own internet jerk.

A warrior armed with a keyboard
I slay cyber creeps by the tonne.
I comment on threads with no purpose,
I annoy Big City Banker for fun.

Then, lo! Up ahead I see danger,
A thread which divides us all round.
Where some will cry "Havoc!" and let slip;
Dogs of the moral high ground.

So battle it rages around me.
I fear that I shall not survive.
Resigned to my fate to return
To the players that play only live.

The Mods, they struggle to bind us
As slurs slip forth from our hands.
But blood has been spilt on the keyboards
Lines have been drawn in the sand.

Then the smoke clears and all seems so quiet.
Carpel tunnel the only outcome.
But next comes the dread and the fear,
Next comes recrimination.

Fingers are pointed though needless.
Statements are made off the bat.
Friendships are tested to breaking
Things now we may soon regret.

So now that we stand disunited
What is this forum to do?
Move on and ignore all our tensions?
Or start posting on two plus two?

Tomorrow's a day where redemption
May sit hand in hand with our hopes.
I know now the battle is over,
This forum is able to cope.

So let us all stand now and promise,
As we never have yet done before.
That the next time a battle here rages,
We all shall just pick on Devore.

Guinnessman

Wow thats impressive 10 verses

El Stuntman

kayroo wins, give him his voucher for Shanahans and a Ronaldo t-shirt

shoutman

Quality work Kayroo, that poem definatley came from someone with more than a pass in english in the leaving cert

YULETIRED

El Stuntman wrote: »

kayroo wins, give him his voucher for Shanahans and a Ronaldo t-shirt

it will be decided next week at 13.00 May 7th...

some class work so far. Are you a fan of Wordsworth?

Perhaps some poker boyz might relate to a fav Woodsworth poem of mine.
over 150 years old....hmmmmm.

The World Is To Much With Us; Late and Soon"

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune,
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.

YULETIRED

YULETIRED wrote: »

some class work so far. Are you a fan of Wordsworth?

More a man of Shakespeare:

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean

Or perhaps more fittingly, seeing as the battle has since raged and fallen:

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.


And finally for LuckyLucky:

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day

connie147

YULETIRED wrote: »

Right, for my own amusement PLUS to try to cheer up the poker forum a bit...(eg Lucky Lucky) a lot of bad blood around thiis bananna patch.
Perhaps some levity will let some of the steam out of yizer britches...

So I will donate 50 Dollar...yes 50 American Dollars on pokerstars, to whoever comes up with the best poem to sum up the last 6 months on the poker forum.

I will decide one week from now on the winner...Wednesday May 7th at 13.00

I should ban Connie from entering to allow ye a fair crack at the whip but why deprive us...

I'll have a think about this one. If I can come up with something, I'll post it tomorrow.

Connie

YULETIRED

Deleted User wrote: »

More a man of Shakespeare:

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean

Or perhaps more fittingly, seeing as the battle has since raged and fallen:

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.


And finally for LuckyLucky:

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day

well matched kayroo....you prefer the drama of shakespeare I see, I guess he is more fitting for this forum...if you get the time do another one before next week....keep the juices flowing and all...eh?

I think Connie will be along any time soon....:)

YULETIRED

YULETIRED wrote: »

well matched kayroo....you prefer the drama of shakespeare I see, I guess he is more fitting for this forum...if you get the time do another one before next week....keep the juices flowing and all...eh?

I think Connie will be along any time soon....:)

I tell you what: if Connie bests my effort I'll do 2 more. 1 attempt at funny (not likely to be so good) and I'll do one in sonnet form for the laugh.

It's not the drama, it's the speech elements. Solilioquoys ftw...:pac::pac::pac:

Samba

Here i am all broken hearted i spent 5cent and only farted, i plaigerised a good mans work but alas, who really gives a ****!

In the unlikely event of a winning entry i wish to donate the $50.

careca

Deleted User wrote: »

Just doing up a poem now, but do you mean schizophrenic or illiterate? :pac::pac:

Lol, I knew it didn't look right. Pwned.

careca

careca wrote: »

Lol, I knew it didn't look right. Pwned.

Finally being a geek comes in handy

kakak1

Mr.Plough wrote: »

I dyslexia

Help available at the A D N (National Dyslexia Association)

Blip

WSOP, Ticket
Tag Team For The Win, Ship It
Brag Post Wound, Lick It
Rag2Gar Blog, Rip It
Everest Email, Fcuk It
Back2squareonements.........Forgetabout It

a-k-47

I failed english

TheEnd.

dvdfan

With gambing blood in my veins,
I tried my hand at holdem,
This led me to the poker forum,
Where i realised i couldnt fold them.

Then i read alot and asked advice,
And i posted till my fingers bled,
I slowly began to improve alot,
As i lolled out loud at the Cardshark Thread.

Then came some patchy times,
when BCB and Llyod got nippy,
And if you thought that was bad,
then see the thread: Golly vs Trippie.

So i built myself a bankroll,
And i took the advice on board,
And i move through the levels,
As the celtic tiger roared.

Then the americans done Afganistan,
And soon after hit Iraq,
But Flushdraw folded a set of 2's
To the lol's and Quack Quack Quack.

After some ups and downs i realised,
That in poker i could make a living,
Some months on, all i can say,
Is who the fcuk was i kidding.

The worlds a cruel place i say,
When we think about young Brandi,
Everyones a hypocryte now,
But at the time it was fine and dandy.

So 100k in one hundered days,
caught the forums imagination,
But the rumours are that Finding Nemo,
Has since gone into administration.

And with the celtic tiger slain,
And the $$$ crashing fast,
And the good old tribeca days,
Are now long in the past.

Then the Rag2rar controversy,
Do they realise what theyve done,
Were all or none responsible?
Certainly nobody will feel theyve won!

So were here today still smiling,
Cant change the past nor peoples ways,
for all the troubles boards has brought,
Its given back more funny days.

Ste05

Very nice DVD

jbravado

Big shout out for dvdfans effort.Winner.

Marq

Controversy rife
Little useful discussion
Condescension, Steaks

Legend_DIT

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on donks;
If you can trust yourself when those in the Strategy sub-forum doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting for a decent hand to play,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise -otherwise people will agree with you and you'll be in the clique;

If you can play cards - and not make cards your master;
If you can think optimal strategy - and also apply it to your game;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to see the sentence you posted
Misquoted to make you and those who agree with you fools,
Or see how your boards nemesis boasted
He went deep in a tourney that was full of tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of a card
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about the spewtard;
If you can force your way through a deepstack tourney
And make yourself remembered long after you are gone,
Remember that poker improvement is not a destination, it's a journey
So just make sure it's the right path that you are on.

If you can post with confidence and keep your virtue,
Or have strat discussions with Highrollers - but play the Jackpot 20 game;
If neither trolls nor fellow clique members can hurt you;
If you intend to treat everyone all the same;
If you can make you opponent dwell for a minute
Before coming to the conclusion he can't have won -
Yours is the Pot and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Alternatively, head to the BB sticky!

Legend_DIT

Legend_DIT wrote: »

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on donks;
If you can trust yourself when those in the Strategy sub-forum doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting for a decent hand to play,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise -otherwise people will agree with you and you'll be in the clique;

If you can play cards - and not make cards your master;
If you can think optimal strategy - and also apply it to your game;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to see the sentence you posted
Misquoted to make you and those who agree with you fools,
Or see how your boards nemesis boasted
He went deep in a tourney that was full of tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of a card
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about the spewtard;
If you can force your way through a deepstack tourney
And make yourself remembered long after you are gone,
Remember that poker improvement is not a destination, it's a journey
So just make sure it's the right path that you are on.

If you can post with confidence and keep your virtue,
Or have strat discussions with Highrollers - but play the Jackpot 20 game;
If neither trolls nor fellow clique members can hurt you;
If you intend to treat everyone all the same;
If you can make you opponent dwell for a minute
Before coming to the conclusion he can't have won -
Yours is the Pot and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Alternatively, head to the BB sticky!

Rudyard Kipling would be proud Legend_DIT. In between the imperialistic rants and the racism, he'd have been proud...

YULETIRED

Fk me It will be difficult to pick a winner from some of these poems.

to fan the flames...



To the tune of windmills of your mind..(taken from endless badbeat stories)

Like a badbeat in a tourny, like a bubble hitting run,
Like a slowroll in a casino, from a bitches little son,
Like ipoker and it's software and the fishes that there do dwell,
Like your playing perfect poker but the cards are dogs from hell,

and yer missing from a party and you're sitting on you're arse,
and yer mother tries to call you , but your time for her is sparse,
and yer head is spinning slowly and your credit card is maxed
then you find your in a hole agian and the rake is like a tax,

and you crawl into your bedroom and there is noone there to find,
and as you lay on your weary bed, the hands are flying round your head,
........in the windmills of your mind.

GrangeUtd

no mun no fun
no cash no hash
no dope no hope
no bail just jail imo

eagle eye

Too much has happened to put it all here
We had good beats and bad ones and stories of beer
We'll start off with yuletired who started this thread
He played well in the irish open before going card dead

Then theres El Stuntman whose quite sharp with a pen
He loves mojo and poker and a steak now and then
Then theres Rag2gar who climbed the worlds biggest hill
only to get knocked backed down by some jealous pill(ock)

The tv saw a few boardsies make apprearances about poker
Hectorjelly on Prime Time was a tad mediocre
And bigcitybanker, who analysed the days action
he came across very well and was a welcome distraction

from that eejid of a commentator, i don't know his name
but his commentary came across as terribly lame
and then there was smurph on the tv table
showing us all that her game was not just a fable

r4ad started a thread which was going down well
until hectorjelly decided to put him through hell
They argued back and forth, like warlords they battled
At times it appeared that one of them was rattled

But it went on much longer than we did expect
Until somehow they decided not to be so direct
And stopped the war of touranments versus cash
I don't how it stopped, maybe they chilled out on hash

On then to LuckyLloyd who's always in trouble
He declared paddy power was nothing but rubble
and declared that their tournament he would not make
but reports have suggested that he did partake

From what i remember julian thew was in heaven
when he called Lloyd's allin who revealed 9 7
the cards were dealt and his kj did hold
as Lloyd hit the rail without any gold

To Vegas goes Connie after winning one of the sats
on stars i believe, and to him its congrats
nicnicnic has been quiet so far this year
but before its over there'll be something to hear

I could go on about more but I've enough
of trying to rhyme up this boardsies stuff
So for now good luck I hope it goes well
for everyone but the rat who will end up in hell

ionapaul

Funny stuff Eagle Eye...a sting in the tail to that one!

strewelpeter

The Al Lad wrote: »

...
the other mods will ban me I think
because I kicked up this stink

You trying to get something off your conscience Al?

The Al Lad

strewelpeter wrote: »

You trying to get something off your conscience Al?

Move up levels

kmick

Here is my masterpiece - there is much hidden meaning within its seemingly random construction. There is however nothing to fear for the fearless man.

lord, anger!
never desire a more perfect place.
o, noise!

why sell the badbeat.
the nuts grow like a small sun.
the old lady, roughly grabs us all .
why does the trail go cold?
never love a donk.

the queens walk like a misty fromage,
the floater talks like a dream
o, exhaustion!

shores grow!
death, desolation, and despair.
why does the lad fall?

connie147

I'm enjoying this thread, especially DVD's and eagle eyes contributions. CLASS!!!

TommyGunne

Kayroo wins

GrangeUtd

TommyGunne wrote: »

Kayroo wins

+1

Theresalwaysone

It genuinely hurts me to say this....

Nice one Keith.

skiroo

My frozen lock woken, as I hear the words raise
I look to my left an uncomfortable gaze
He’s tripled my bet alarm bells are ringing
I’ve only Ace King, can I really be winning?

The flop has two queens and a king by their side
I could easily fold and swallow my pride
But this lad is a bully and its time for a stance
I push all my chips in and say ‘Boy lets dance!’

He calls in a flash and flips over ace queen
I show him my hand, his realised dream
How could you call, pre-flop? I enquire
He tells me that lately his game is on fire

The turn brings a blank, and the river a Jack
Once more ace king combo has cost me my stack
I stand from my chair in gracious defeat
But I think to myself…………’WHAT A ****IN FISH’

Mr.Plough

What happened to that dude who did rail raps for $5. he was a genius.

smurph

There was a young guy name nicknamed McLovin,
Who’s W.S.O.P package was taken and it’s a troublin,
Some trolling little twat who’s not the cleverest
Decided to emails the guys at Everest
And all the tempers on boards are a bubblin,

There is a boards poster called Yuletired,
Who has Lloyds brain absolutely fried,
He has a great fascination for chimps,
But at the poker table he’s certainly no gimp,
Although I think Lloyd has actually cried

Mr.Plough

smurph wrote: »

There was a young guy name nicknamed McLovin,
Who’s W.S.O.P package was taken and it’s a troublin,
Some trolling little twat who’s not the cleverest
Decided to emails the guys at Everest
And all the tempers on boards are a bubblin,

There is a boards poster called Yuletired,
Who has Lloyds brain absolutely fried,
He has a great fascination for chimps,
But at the poker table he’s certainly no gimp,
Although I think Lloyd has actually cried

imo

Doc Farrell

Willie,

www.airwaysmotorcompany.ie want to sponsor 2nd and 3rd prizes of 30 American dollars each.
do they accept their tainted money?

(they're had better be some John Donne in here soon)