The "wrong hole" girl... and other rumours which turned out to be false

helimachoptor

I think I've a winner but sadly i think its actually true!
One of the lads in our school when we were in 6th year his little bro was in 1st/2nd year i'm not too sure.

anyway this young lad and his friends were in a house 4 or 5 of them and they all decide to get naked. and for some reason one of the lads has a hard on... The brother is dancing around the room and "accidentally" falls on his c*ck and it goes up his ass.

Thats the rumour, I think he got caught getting rammed up the fudge tube....

Andy-Pandy

Keano A Legend wrote: »

Oh I just rememebered one!

When my brother was at secondary school nearly 20 years ago he tells me there was a girl who would give head for 50 pence! So it was either a bag of crisps and a bar or some head for lunch...

Was he in newpark? I could name the girl, but i wont.

Wazdakka

Feelgood wrote: »

I heard a rumour that boards.ie is actually a front for scientology recruitment....

SSSSSSHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh.......


<.<


>.>

r3nu4l

Feelgood wrote: »

I heard a rumour that boards.ie is actually a front for scientology recruitment....

Total rubbish, now, would you like a free personality test?

Gummy Panda

melekalikimaka wrote: »

i heard it was a fourth year engineer student in ucd, met a traveller from the camp in sandyford industrial estate in club 92, went back to her van and she lay on on the bed and said 'none of your fancy sh1t, just lob it in there boss'

I didn't hear anything about UCD, but i heard about the Galway Races and the 'none of your fancy sh1t, just lob it in there boss'. Also that during it she said 'OH! You're hurting me lovely!'

gerTheGreat

melekalikimaka wrote: »

i heard it was a fourth year engineer student in ucd, met a traveller from the camp in sandyford industrial estate in club 92, went back to her van and she lay on on the bed and said 'none of your fancy sh1t, just lob it in there boss'

How about the one about the guy scoring a girl and heading back to her's. Turns out she's a traveler. Anyway, when they're walking to the 'back room' in the caravan, they have to head pass her dad, who says 'Go on and give her a good lashing...' or something to that degree.

syklops

latenia wrote: »

I think the full story is that it's a traveller girl they picked up at the Galway Races who says "Hoss it into me boss."

In the version I heard, she said: "Lob it up there sham!"

Maximus82

Sanjuro wrote: »

Heard a rumour about a guy (friend of a friend, etc... :rolleyes:) who was playing about in the muck with his girlfriend. She had neglected to have a dump and clean the pipes out before hand. He got a piece of undigested sweetcorn stuck up his urethra and when he went for a pee, his penis exploded.

I heard the exact same rumour except that he got an infection rather than it exploded....which is a bit more believable. And the particular girl in question is smoking hot!!

AARRRGH

Sanjuro wrote: »

his penis exploded.

LOL

Sherifu

Sherifu wrote: »

I used to think the world was flat

It actually is. It's all a conspiracy. Flying all around the world to Australia? Pfft. Nonsense. They get up in the air and circle for ages and then land in Australia.. which is secretly right above Scotland.

Yes. Scotland.

Also, which is the wrong hole? The ear?

kaimera

The guy back at his place with a chic from a club.

Feed of beer and a kebab of course.

69-ing with him on top and he felt the need to fart. As he was on top he said to himself sure she wont mind.

Pity he followed thru when he farted.

Heard it from a few diff folks all saying a friend knew the guy.

nkay1985

There was a particularly delightful rumour started that me and my friend had shifted each other (we're both guys). Now, it was well know that we weren't gay, due to us both being with a lot of girls. Unfortunately, this very much made for a large suspect list. Turns out it was a girl my friend had shifted, then told her friend she was a crap shift and ugly to boot (or something similar). What a classy guy!!!

Oh, the rumour was false incase any of you are wondering.

adam.number2

nkay1985 wrote: »

Oh, the rumour was false incase any of you are wondering.

I wasnt.

There was a rumor in our school that particularly large gent, had ripped his hole when taking a dump and had to get stiches....

adam.number2

oh and there was a pair of twins... apparently one only had one testicle... they were known as 'one' and 'two'

Caoimhín

I once heard of a lad who scored big time with this wicked dirty yoke. Anyway, they got back to her house and she tied him up for some dirty action....
Then, when he was tied up some chap dressed as batman came in and well....

And

One lucky fellow scored with a nurse one night. She introduced him to a procedure involving some lube and a face towel up her ass...
Not sure how that one turned out.

OoSKYLINEoO

Jaysus

truecrippler

Apparently I've been with every emo in my college. I'm not emo though, I'm a bright and shiny person... it's weird.
The first bit may be true though, gotta do a count.

Adam

truecrippler wrote: »

Apparently I've been with every emo in my college. I'm not emo though, I'm a bright and shiny person... it's weird.
The first bit may be true though, gotta do a count.

Hey, they are hot.

Collie D

kaimera wrote: »

The guy back at his place with a chic from a club.

Feed of beer and a kebab of course.

69-ing with him on top and he felt the need to fart. As he was on top he said to himself sure she wont mind.

Pity he followed thru when he farted.

Heard it from a few diff folks all saying a friend knew the guy.

Jaysus, bet she didn't hang around for another 68 of those.

Also I laughed out loud when reading about the exploding penis...funny image

taidghbaby

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Guy in college knew a girl who was doing it doggystyle with a lad when his dick popped in and out her brown eye, she said it was excurciatingly painful.

He(Richard) gained the nickname Sh!tty d!ck

I did that once with an ex while in the bath!!

She cried for about an hour.......i went to the pub:cool:

Bard

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I never knew someone who lived near Prince.

Apparently, that's only a rumour - and it's done the rounds. Prince denies it of course - and he, Marilyn Manson and Freddie Mercury are only 3 people (among others) to have been rumoured to have had a rib removed - specifically in their cases, for the purposes of allowing them to perform 'autofellatio' (link is 'NSFW').

But hey... there you go...

Zzippy

The one about Ronan Keating being gay.....
.
.
.
oh no, wait..........

truecrippler

Mirror wrote: »

Hey, they are hot.

Thats my point.. hence why I was with them ;D.

Kold

There was one doing the rounds about a year ago in Cork. A few lads apparently got a few mushies and after eating 'em they didn't get much of a trip off 'em so went to bed. They got up to find that one of the lads had been tripping balls. He said that he'd had a crazy night and had found some goblin. Him and the goblin supposedly stayed up for ages dancing then he claimed that the goblin started getting aggresive so he'd locked him in the cupboard. Supposedly then they found a kid with down syndrome in the cupboard that he'd kidnapped from an all night Tesco.


I wasn't convinced but it was weird that new people kept on saying it and swearing it was true.

j1smithy

Kold wrote: »

There was one doing the rounds about a year ago in Cork. A few lads apparently got a few mushies and after eating 'em they didn't get much of a trip off 'em so went to bed. They got up to find that one of the lads had been tripping balls. He said that he'd had a crazy night and had found some goblin. Him and the goblin supposedly stayed up for ages dancing then he claimed that the goblin started getting aggresive so he'd locked him in the cupboard. Supposedly then they found a kid with down syndrome in the cupboard that he'd kidnapped from an all night Tesco.


I wasn't convinced but it was weird that new people kept on saying it and swearing it was true.

I believe those cork lads were on holiday in vancouver when that happened. Know for a fact its true too!

FunkyChicken

Gillo wrote: »

There was a guy who was in the year behind me at school who appearently only had one ba!!

hey dude thanks for not saying 'ball' that word really offends

random_banter

Kold wrote: »

There was one doing the rounds about a year ago in Cork. A few lads apparently got a few mushies and after eating 'em they didn't get much of a trip off 'em so went to bed. They got up to find that one of the lads had been tripping balls. He said that he'd had a crazy night and had found some goblin. Him and the goblin supposedly stayed up for ages dancing then he claimed that the goblin started getting aggresive so he'd locked him in the cupboard. Supposedly then they found a kid with down syndrome in the cupboard that he'd kidnapped from an all night Tesco.


I wasn't convinced but it was weird that new people kept on saying it and swearing it was true.

Im not joking.. up until 5 seconds ago I believed the version of this story that I had heard was completely true! The difference being that the gang of lads were infact a large circle of mates, in Dublin on St Patricks day.. and yer man had taken the "goblin" from somewhere off the street.. and the next day his mates had found the "goblin" in his under-stairs cupboard.

Of course it was a child with downs syndrome. I REALLY believed this to be true.. it was one of my best mates best mates from school that was supposedly in this circle of mates that did the mushies. Am gutted that its not but at the same time delighted that perhaps this horrible thing never happened to the child

orestes

Kold wrote: »

There was one doing the rounds about a year ago in Cork. A few lads apparently got a few mushies and after eating 'em they didn't get much of a trip off 'em so went to bed. They got up to find that one of the lads had been tripping balls. He said that he'd had a crazy night and had found some goblin. Him and the goblin supposedly stayed up for ages dancing then he claimed that the goblin started getting aggresive so he'd locked him in the cupboard. Supposedly then they found a kid with down syndrome in the cupboard that he'd kidnapped from an all night Tesco.


I wasn't convinced but it was weird that new people kept on saying it and swearing it was true.

I heard that one, but I heard it was a bunch of Dublin students. A mate of mine swears his cousin was one of the lads :rolleyes:

Traq

Know for a fact its true too!

I've heard that "goblin" story so many times from so many people in a whole load of different permutations and combinations that there's no way it can be true. Always seemed to happen to a mate's mate etc.

Complete urban legend.

togster

Maybe this has been done before...but anyone know of the one where 2 bracefaces were "shiftin" and got stuck together by the gob?

The Real B-man

Same thing different "Whole"

Dirk Gently

razorblunt wrote: »

If you got the number 10 on a Mr Freeze hard drink you get a free one!

7 always got you a free one. If it was only a rumour then the local corner shop owner fell for it everytime too.

r3nu4l

clown bag wrote: »

7 always got you a free one. If it was only a rumour then the local corner shop owner fell for it everytime too.

Yup, same with my local shop. A 7 got a free Mr Freeze. Good times...for my dentist

TerrorFirmer

I was thinking about this yesterday and reminded me of one I heard awhile ago - can't remember the specific details, but it revolved around some guy getting with a girl who turned out to be a bit freaky in the sack....to cut a long story short, it ends up with a '****ty towel' being rubbed over herself, but the second I heard it I thought it had to be one of these myths. At least, I seriously hope so.

Gummy Panda

I remember one that was going around that i helped spread to people who would believe it.

IIRC, a girl thought she had got really bad thrush and goes to the doctor. The doctor checks her out and pulls a bit of face. He then asks her is she sexually activate and she tells him that she only had sex with her boyfriend. The doctor tells her that she caught a disease that you can only get from prosituation or dead people (it was something about the skin decaying). The girl replies that she has only had sex with boyfriend. She then realises that her boyfriend works in a funeral home.

lol, alot of the idiots i said that to were "OMG he is riding the corpses!!"

Xavi6

There was one I got told in college that was hilarious -

Friend of a friend was doing his missus in the non conventional way i.e. parking his car in chocolate lane. He pulled out too quickly and she shat the place. In an effort to hide what happened he rolled up the sheets and hid them in the wardrobe. However he forgot about them and one day came home to find his mam had discovered them while putting away some clothes. In an effort to hide the truth he said the dog had been on his bed and was responsible for the shit. She said ok fair enough and left it at that. The next day he arrived home and was looking for the dog. Not to be found anywhere so he asked his mam where it was. She replied "Well it was getting old and we couldn't have it shitting everywhere so we decided to have it put down"!

I nearly wet myself on first listen. Just another urban myth though.

Gummy Panda

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I was thinking about this yesterday and reminded me of one I heard awhile ago - can't remember the specific details, but it revolved around some guy getting with a girl who turned out to be a bit freaky in the sack....to cut a long story short, it ends up with a '****ty towel' being rubbed over herself, but the second I heard it I thought it had to be one of these myths. At least, I seriously hope so.

Yeah the one i heard was that it was lads on holiday in spain. One of the lads rides a girl and does anal. She was messy so afterwards he wipes himself off onto a clean towel and forgets about it. The other lad in apartment comes up later and has a shower. When he gets out he uses the toilet and there is a big smear of it on him.

milltown

Best thread in ages!

Story in work years ago was that a few of the lads were staying in digs while working down the country and the one bathroom was at the end of the landing. One night one of the lads scores and brings the girl back to the digs. Later on he's on his way to the loo when he meets one of the other lads on the landing.
"Facking hell Mick, were you in a fight?"
"No, why?"
"Your face is covered in blood"
Mick turns on his heels and storms back to the room shouting "the dirty b1tch!"

More recently from work (different job):
Story involves the Xmas party and a guy that's camper than a large barrel of Brian Dowlings. Someone else accuses him of just being a bit theatrical, not actually gay. He insists he is a bona fide fudge packer but the other guy says "prove it", at which point they head off to the toilets and aren't seen for half an hour.

Not sure I believe either story but like the best urban legends they are just about believable.

lee_arama

Told this one last week and we're fairly sure it happened:

Couple lads in the toilets at a gay night in a Cork nightclub. Get, eh, stuck, and had to be escorted out to the ambulance being shielded by a coat. Funny stuff.

Also the guy who was DJ'ing that night on a different occasion nearly fainted when some chick popped out of her top; he was like all "OMG get THEM away from me!!!" Raging I missed it cos I was in the same pub earlier that day. Got bored waiting for yer one to do something (she was a reknowned exhibitionist).

Insect Overlord

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I was thinking about this yesterday and reminded me of one I heard awhile ago - can't remember the specific details, but it revolved around some guy getting with a girl who turned out to be a bit freaky in the sack....to cut a long story short, it ends up with a '****ty towel' being rubbed over herself, but the second I heard it I thought it had to be one of these myths. At least, I seriously hope so.

I've heard this story, or at least a version of it. The best friend of a guy I know from Cork brought a girl back to his place. They were doing all the usual horizontal dance moves when she suggested something "different". Basically, she got a towel, poured hot water on it and slipped it up his back passage, pulled it out at his moment of glory and sent dirty stuff all over his bed.

Of course he did a runner and left her (in his own room!) when she started rubbing herself with the towel.

Sick if true

TerrorFirmer

An Fhile wrote: »

I've heard this story, or at least a version of it. The best friend of a guy I know from Cork brought a girl back to his place. They were doing all the usual horizontal dance moves when she suggested something "different". Basically, she got a towel, poured hot water on it and slipped it up his back passage, pulled it out at his moment of glory and sent dirty stuff all over his bed.

Of course he did a runner and left her (in his own room!) when she started rubbing herself with the towel.

Sick if true

Yes! that's the exact story, good man, except in the obviously revised edition I heard, he went to the jacks to clean himself in disgust, and came back to find her rubbing the towel over herself. :eek:

Insect Overlord

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Yes! that's the exact story, good man, except in the obviously revised edition I heard, he went to the jacks to clean himself in disgust, and came back to find her rubbing the towel over herself. :eek:

Your ending might be the right one actually! It's been 6 months since I've heard the story, told after a few pints it must be said, so the details are a little hazy at this stage.

kaimera

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Yes! that's the exact story, good man, except in the obviously revised edition I heard, he went to the jacks to clean himself in disgust, and came back to find her rubbing the towel over herself. :eek:

No matter what way it's told she still ended up rubbing **** on herself

cabrwab

Jesus christ some great rumours out there.

Know a chap who went out back of the disco to touch fool around with this young one, placing the hand downstairs he later realised when he came back in that his hand was covered in red goo! Nice one was the one that pointed out his hand.

Also know a girl was certain unprotected anal sex would get you pregnant!

Insect Overlord

And then there was the vicious rumour that sex education was included on the secondary school curriculum... :rolleyes:

cabrwab

NO no no never vicious rumour, was taught abstaining by a 90year old catholic priest, who's never touched a women (we assume!)

onesocks

How about the one where a woman from Cork/Kilkenny/Galway had a pet python and let it sleep with her in the bed, over time it started to sleep lying in a straight line beside her, and a vet told her it was sizing her up to eat so she had to get rid of it.

Anyone?

redfacedbear

caoibhin wrote: »

I once heard of a lad who scored big time with this wicked dirty yoke. Anyway, they got back to her house and she tied him up for some dirty action....
Then, when he was tied up some chap dressed as batman came in and well....

Heard a variation on that

A couple decided to enjoy some role-play. She is tied naked to the bed, he, in the batman outfit, climbs into the wardrobe. The idea being that he bursts out to rescue the damsel in distress. He somehow manages to topple the wardrobe forward on the doors, thus trapping himself.

There's two versions of how the story ends -

1: the couple are found dead a few weeks later in their respective positions

2: they had to be rescued by the fire brigade after the woman calls alert a neighbour.

I've heard this story both here in Ireland and in Finland

AARRRGH

Gillo wrote:

There was a guy who was in the year behind me at school who appearently only had one ba!!

FunkyChicken wrote: »

hey dude thanks for not saying 'ball' that word really offends

Heheh

Ninja_scrotum

I heard a story about a guy who got a handjob from a girl and she got so excited she started to **** his balls.

Ended up having to get one of his balls surgically removed due to a knot in the sperm duct!

I think it happened in thurles....