The "wrong hole" girl... and other rumours which turned out to be false

copeyhagen

the one about the chick gettin fingered in the arse..i mean, whats there not to believe. have u never done it to a chick? every single young bloke i know has done it to a chick i think.

so the chick got fingered up the arse and liked it.. savage, fair play to her.

lorweld

This one I'm sure is an urban myth but anyway........ a woman was due to go for a smear test, she was worried that she might smell a bit down there, so she asks her daughter could she borrow her feminine deodrant for emm down there. Daughter says no prob its on my dressing table. Mother proceeds to spray the 'feminine deodrant' quite liberally down there. Anyways when she gets to the docs he asks her to open her legs and says 'you went to alot of trouble for the visit' so thinking he means he can smell the deodrant she says 'emm thanks its my daughters' when she gets home the daughter says to her 'oh mam the deodrant was actually in my drawer sorry i thought it was on the dressing table i only realised when I got home' mother says 'no i used it. the black bottle on your dressing table' to this the daughter bursts out laughing and says 'oh mam thats my glitter spray for my hair':D

Al_Fernz

Two ones, one wild the other one not so.

Not so wild rumour. I guy I knew around the time I was a teenager was sucking the tits on this girl that lives around the corner from me when he got a hair stuck in his mouth and started choking. The girl quickly became known as the wolly mammoth.

Wild rumour. A girl took the blow in job far to literally. She blew up the guys cock and caused a massive embolism and the embolism caused a heart-attack that killed the guy.

Homer

Heard the one about the glitter spray before allright! Classic if true!

Also a girl that I knew a few years ago got the name "kit-kat"

I'll leave that one to your imagination but just remember how many fingers are in a kit kat :eek:

kwestfan08

There was a guy at our school that supposedly fingered a cat. Im almost certain its true. There was a rumour about another guy at the same school that licked the flavour out of flavoured condoms.

Tigrrrr

kwestfan08 wrote: »

There was a guy at our school that supposedly fingered a cat. Im almost certain its true.

My brother did that by accident once with our cat Sam. He had the scrape marks to prove it. Poor pussy.

Caoimhín

Tigrrrr wrote: »

My brother did that by accident once with our cat Sam. He had the scrape marks to prove it. Poor pussy.

How the hell does one "accidently" finger a cat?
How, how would you manage that?

Radharc na Sleibhte

caoibhin wrote: »

How the hell does one "accidently" finger a cat?
How, how would you manage that?

If you're trying to play with her ass and your finger accidentally slips?

Tigrrrr

Perhaps she backed into him, I'm not sure who did what exactly. I guess he was young and had small fingers, and of course Sam had already had a few litters.
Sausages, O'Connell Street...

Dr Strange

Tigrrrr wrote: »

Perhaps she backed into him, I'm not sure who did what exactly.

That filthy beast. Can't trust them.

Caoimhín

Tigrrrr wrote: »

Perhaps she backed into him,...

I swear to God judge... Thats what happened.

joker77

First one - the old dog food one - a girl in our area got this spread about her - her family arrived home to see the dog licking her after she'd spread a can of dogfood 'down there'.

Second one - I remember working with a straight up guy years ago who said this happened to his mate. Complete urban myth if you ask me.
The guy meets this cracking looking girl in a club, they go back to hers, one thing leads to another etc. He's on top, working away, she's getting really into it and he can't believe his luck. She takes out some little beads, and starts playing with them in the general area down there, then proceeds to put one up his ar5e. He's thinking it's a tad weird, but still kind of a little shocked that he pulled such a good looking girl, so he keeps going. She keeps putting the beads up there, but says to him "Tell me when you're about to cum". So just before the moment arrives he shouts "I'm coming!!!". She then pulls out the beads, and he sh1ts himself all over the bed and her. Mortified, he goes running off to find a towel or something to clean up the dirty mess with. He arrives back in the room to find her rubbing it all over herself and getting off on it.

kmart6

joker77 wrote: »

First one - the old dog food one - a girl in our area got this spread about her - her family arrived home to see the dog licking her after she'd spread a can of dogfood 'down there'.

Second one - I remember working with a straight up guy years ago who said this happened to his mate. Complete urban myth if you ask me.
The guy meets this cracking looking girl in a club, they go back to hers, one thing leads to another etc. He's on top, working away, she's getting really into it and he can't believe his luck. She takes out some little beads, and starts playing with them in the general area down there, then proceeds to put one up his ar5e. He's thinking it's a tad weird, but still kind of a little shocked that he pulled such a good looking girl, so he keeps going. She keeps putting the beads up there, but says to him "Tell me when you're about to cum". So just before the moment arrives he shouts "I'm coming!!!". She then pulls out the beads, and he sh1ts himself all over the bed and her. Mortified, he goes running off to find a towel or something to clean up the dirty mess with. He arrives back in the room to find her rubbing it all over herself and getting off on it.

Def urban myth,think thats the third or fourth time it's bee said in the thread,only diff is it was a towel in the others!......Still sick though!

Volvagia

There was another urban myth that was believed for a while in my school about a first year who had a wet dream one night, and in the morning while examining what had happened down there he pulled back his foreskin only for it to tear. So he had to call for his mother, who promtly applied sudocream to the wound.

Not a pleasant thought.

Jar_421

can't remember where i heard it but one of a guy and a questionable girl where foolin around and he stats groping around down there, after a few minutes she asks him to stop and take his ring off as its hurting her.
Turns out the guy isn't wearing any rings... only a watch

No idea if its true but still funny

youcancallmeal

I remember hearing a story about a guy giving it to some girl up the arse. A few days later he got an infection in his urinary tract. Apparently humans can't fully digest sweetcorn and he had got a bit of it lodged down his japseye.

Adam

youcancallme>al wrote: »

I remember hearing a story about a guy giving it to some girl up the arse. A few days later he got an infection in his urinary tract. Apparently humans can't fully digest sweetcorn and he had got a bit of it lodged down his japseye.

That was already posted. Shame on you for not reading the thread.

And trying to spread rumours! :mad::pac:

sir snackbox

i actually saw a fella on my road before fingerin his dog!!... i was baffled!!

in the middle of the road... fingerin his dog......sayin 'ha lads look at this... she doesnt mind' ha ha ha


btw.... one of the funniest threads ive ever read ha ha ha ... exploding penis ha ha ha

DonalN

redfacedbear wrote: »

Heard a variation on that

A couple decided to enjoy some role-play. She is tied naked to the bed, he, in the batman outfit, climbs into the wardrobe. The idea being that he bursts out to rescue the damsel in distress. He somehow manages to topple the wardrobe forward on the doors, thus trapping himself.

There's two versions of how the story ends -

1: the couple are found dead a few weeks later in their respective positions

2: they had to be rescued by the fire brigade after the woman calls alert a neighbour.

I've heard this story both here in Ireland and in Finland

that reminds me of this vid - cried laughing when I first saw it..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIh6-euFJAE (maybe NSFW)

Caoimhín

sir snackbox wrote: »

i actually saw a fella on my road before fingerin his dog!!... i was baffled!!

in the middle of the road... fingerin his dog......sayin 'ha lads look at this... she doesnt mind' ha ha ha


btw.... one of the funniest threads ive ever read ha ha ha ... exploding penis ha ha ha

Dear God man, where do you live?

sir snackbox

live in SW dublin... (explains alot) hahahahahah


but i dont know what planet he lived on!!!..... same chap also punched his own front window thru when some1 chsed him callin him 'monkey boy'..... off topic i know sorry.... i jus like the story haha

Caoimhín

sir snackbox wrote: »

live in SW dublin... (explains alot) hahahahahah


but i dont know what planet he lived on!!!..... same chap also punched his own front window thru when some1 chsed him callin him 'monkey boy'..... off topic i know sorry.... i jus like the story haha

Quite the Utopia then..

wheres me jumpa

sir snackbox wrote: »

i actually saw a fella on my road before fingerin his dog!!... i was baffled!!

in the middle of the road... fingerin his dog......sayin 'ha lads look at this... she doesnt mind' ha ha ha

Oh dear god.

tk123

You know, this reminds me of a bizzare conversation in college - i mention the fact that it was in college to show we were all in our 20's! I can't remember what the story was - a a baby born in a car or something. Anyhoos it went something like this :

me and other girl : 'omg did you hear that story in the news abt the baby being born in <situation> '
annoying guy : 'omg does it really happen like that!? Do they really pop out? like you could be having a sh!t and the baby pops out all covered in sh!t! etc etc
girl : 'eh no it doesn't happen like that for starters they come out of a differet hole! Moving on...'
guy : 'what do you mean?!'
girl tries to change subject
guy : 'no wait wait! what do you mean the wrong hole?! There's different holes?!!?'
girl : 'the library is over there - maybe you should look at a biology book!'

Arty Darcie

Lol yeah the guy who did it wasnicknamed pissy chrissy unfortunate his name is chris. I didn even think anything could fit up that hole

joeybloggs

kaizersoze1980 wrote: »

I started a rumour on Giovanni Trapattonis wikipedia page saying he had expressed interest in the ireland job ,this was at the stage when he was 250-1 on paddypower. I posted the link on foot.ie, by the end of the day he was 2-1 and Newstalks off the ball show read my comments from his wikipedia page out on air

Its the Oirish Max Clifford ! I love you !

Cokehead Mother

tk123 wrote: »

me and other girl : 'omg did you hear that story in the news abt the baby being born in <situation> '
annoying guy : 'omg does it really happen like that!? Do they really pop out? like you could be having a sh!t and the baby pops out all covered in sh!t! etc etc
girl : 'eh no it doesn't happen like that for starters they come out of a differet hole! Moving on...'
guy : 'what do you mean?!'
girl tries to change subject
guy : 'no wait wait! what do you mean the wrong hole?! There's different holes?!!?'
girl : 'the library is over there - maybe you should look at a biology book!'

annoying guy sounds kind of adorable.

LegacyUser

Hope this is an urban legend that someone just decided to jazz up!

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=W0pNeDMowCY

punchestown

Anyone hear of the bloke that turned up to casualty in beaumont with the end of a broom up his posterior? Apparently he had just gotten out of the shower when he felt a cold breeze from the open window. He was stretching to close the window without success but saw a brush close to hand. Whilst stretching with the broom for support he slipped back and his arse became lodged on the broom!

Also beaumont casualty encountered an early 20's lad with pellet wounds to his testes. The resultant wound caused him the loss of 'power' in the area with the result that he would be unable to father children. The cause of his anguish? His g/f who he was living with at the time arrived home from work early one afternoon and heard some commotion upstairs. Fearing the worse she went to find her boyfriends hidden pellet gun that he kept in the house. Armed and ready to act, she made her way slowly up the stairs. Near arrival to the top flight she could make oput grunting and groaning from her bedroom. It quickly dawned on her that, it wasnt a burglary in process but her boyfriend enjoying the delights of another woman. She barged in the door, causing the boyfriend to peel away from his other woman and the girlfriend proceeded to shoot him flush in the nuts!

Also a version of the 'blood' story involved a mate getting off with some youngwan many moons ago along with a few of my mates and a few of her mates. After some heavy petting we made our way to the chipper to feed our hungry hormone ravaged stomachs. Yer man offers some money and proceeds to hand over a blood soaked £5 note. In my innocence I thought he had sustained some sort of paper cut but one of the other lads put me wise to the ways of the world!

Catari Jaguar

kickoutthejams wrote: »

G

Also, once a fence broke and the rumour around that Fat Catherine had sat on it.We all believed it.

Kids are cruel.

Funniest thing I've read all day. Great nickname...

Capt'n Midnight

redfacedbear wrote: »

Heard a variation on that

A couple decided to enjoy some role-play. She is tied naked to the bed, he, in the batman outfit, climbs into the wardrobe. The idea being that he bursts out to rescue the damsel in distress. He somehow manages to topple the wardrobe forward on the doors, thus trapping himself.

There's two versions of how the story ends -

1: the couple are found dead a few weeks later in their respective positions

2: they had to be rescued by the fire brigade after the woman calls alert a neighbour.

I've heard this story both here in Ireland and in Finland

The variation I heard was that someone heard screaming from a room and when the door is broken down yer man is there with a broken let, he was on top of the wardrobe to jump on top of her and slipped.

weemcd

punchestown wrote: »

Also a version of the 'blood' story involved a mate getting off with some youngwan many moons ago along with a few of my mates and a few of her mates. After some heavy petting we made our way to the chipper to feed our hungry hormone ravaged stomachs. Yer man offers some money and proceeds to hand over a blood soaked £5 note. In my innocence I thought he had sustained some sort of paper cut but one of the other lads put me wise to the ways of the world!

actually know a fella who was shiftin a youn wan outside a nightclub, dropped the hand, then proceded to go down on her, think he got the ride anyway...

but as he was telling us this he said "ya know when ur face is covered in red..." referring to going down on this unfortunate girl. we had to ask him so stop and rewind a little... - true story

absolute fruit loop of a lad, hillariously funny to be round and laugh AT.

kizzyr

onesocks wrote: »

How about the one where a woman from Cork/Kilkenny/Galway had a pet python and let it sleep with her in the bed, over time it started to sleep lying in a straight line beside her, and a vet told her it was sizing her up to eat so she had to get rid of it.

Anyone?

Yes I heard that last summer. My sister told me about it, the vet in question was her friend's sister. I heard that the snake had stopped eating for some time and had started lying beside her, gently wrapping itself around her etc. Eventually the owner became worried about the lack of eating took it to the vet (who had spent time working in South Africa and so knew about the habits of snakes) who told her the snake had been starving itself to make sure it would be able to eat her. The girl then donated the snake to the zoo.

testicle

Lad I was in School with burst a blood vessel in his knob when having a ****. Ended up in hospital apparently. Only mistake he made was telling some other guy in school.

taidghbaby

sir snackbox wrote: »

i actually saw a fella on my road before fingerin his dog!!... i was baffled!!

in the middle of the road... fingerin his dog......sayin 'ha lads look at this... she doesnt mind' ha ha ha


btw.... one of the funniest threads ive ever read ha ha ha ... exploding penis ha ha ha

my (dearly departed now) dog was havin his wicked way with a neighbours bitch once in front of our house when i shouted at him to stop (well normally i wouldnt have but the granny was on the way so i thought i ought to!!)
i startled him so much that he somehow managed to turn around whilst remaining....inside, and in the process got stuck!!

I then have to somehow try to seperate two dogs who are facing in opposite directions, arse to arse!

I cudnt do it anyway but had a good laugh at these dogs runnin sideways around the garden tryin to get loose and in the end had to wait for my dog to "lose interest"!

took him a while too the horny little bast*rd.....i knew putting him on that clinical test for viagra would come back to bite me!!

Odysseus

I was told by a member of the DBF that he responded to a call when a bloke had stuck his knob up a hover nossle and that it remained stuck. Theory was that it worked like a cock ring and his member would not deflate. He was supposed to have been carted of to hospital nossle and all. Belived it at the time though that was over ten years ago.

pebbles21

Apparently if you go to Tramore in the summer for a week or so you get your drinks bought for you all night and afterwards as much sex as you can take!!!





so my sister told me!!!!!!!!!!;)

(CH3)2CHOH

taidghbaby wrote: »

my (dearly departed now) dog was havin his wicked way with a neighbours bitch once in front of our house when i shouted at him to stop (well normally i wouldnt have but the granny was on the way so i thought i ought to!!)
i startled him so much that he somehow managed to turn around whilst remaining....inside, and in the process got stuck!!

I then have to somehow try to seperate two dogs who are facing in opposite directions, arse to arse!

I cudnt do it anyway but had a good laugh at these dogs runnin sideways around the garden tryin to get loose and in the end had to wait for my dog to "lose interest"!

took him a while too the horny little bast*rd.....i knew putting him on that clinical test for viagra would come back to bite me!!

Thats actually how dogs mate. Boring but true.

taidghbaby

pebbles21 wrote: »

Apparently if you go to Tramore in the summer for a week or so you get your drinks bought for you all night and afterwards as much sex as you can take!!!





so my sister told me!!!!!!!!!!;)

me burds' gone there for the weekend:eek:

cowan

Xavi6 wrote: »

Friend of a friend was doing his missus in the non conventional way i.e. parking his car in chocolate lane. He pulled out too quickly and she shat the place. In an effort to hide what happened he rolled up the sheets and hid them in the wardrobe. However he forgot about them and one day came home to find his mam had discovered them while putting away some clothes. In an effort to hide the truth he said the dog had been on his bed and was responsible for the shit. She said ok fair enough and left it at that. The next day he arrived home and was looking for the dog. Not to be found anywhere so he asked his mam where it was. She replied "Well it was getting old and we couldn't have it shitting everywhere so we decided to have it put down"!

Thank you, me and a mate heard this before, and my mate believes it as if it was written in ze bible. Sightly different version though. Good for a laugh...

This bird's - from Athlone, I was lead to believe - parents were away, so she figured she'd have the fella over for a bit of pre-marital, anyway she decides to be generous and let him slip it up the chocolate tunnel, so he's there rammin away, but what they didnt tell him in sex ed was that there's a muscle up there that if you hit it, sh1t explosion, were talking an eruption of Mt. Vesuvious standards here, so what does the plonker do... hits the muscle. Sh1t everywhere, the missus in agony, not a good day for the poor chap.

They wipe the sh1t off themselves, and he brings her to A&E, she get's fixed up and he's bringin her home. As they drive up the driveway of her house, they see her father - Parents missed their flight - standing beside a pile of dirt in the garden.

She gets out and gingerly walks over to the father, saying whats wrong. Dad replies... "Did ya see what the dog did to the sitting room. I had to put him down."

Lol

highlydebased

Guy in my school was at a disco once enough, went to finger yer one and ended up in the wrong hole also hahah.......apparently he was seen in the bathroom shortly afterwards with chocolate fingers haha

Profiler

Forky wrote: »

I used to believe Pluto was a planet.

Aww no... is he still a Disney Character?

IvaBigWun

snyper wrote: »

I think we all believed the rumuorthat there were weapons in Iraq.

Fail

If the media tells us something enough we will believe it.

Which is very fcuking scary.

flanum

isnt there something doing the rounds at the minute (in cavan anyway) with all the young wans and there bottles of buckfast... they keep checking the bottles to try to find bottles with number"22" on the bottom, they think its more stronger than the rest...ha!

well for a start i used to work in Quinn glass, they manufacture bottles (took over from irish glass) and the number is just the number of which mould the bottle came out of, there are 24 moulds on each machine!

fools!

teaman35

i know this guy who used to live in a bedsit and he loved matresses, so always walking home hed scout out skips all the time for any matress being thrown out.
He ended up with about 7 or 8 on his single bed.
we called him princess and the pea haha
apparantly he said the ladies loved it and the bouncy / height factor...

i dont think they knew where he got them from!!

JangoFett

I was told once in a nightclub in Portlaoise, one I worked in, that a girl had to be escorted out by an ambulance because she was in the toilet with a bottle of beer and lets just say the bottle gut stuck and an ambulance had to be called

I had all manner of rumours spread about me, most of them was that I was gay, even though I had girlfriends. The one rumour everyone thought would "geh thah fuggen QUEER KILT" was that I was a gay drug dealer...idiots

Funny story about myself, was goin down on a ex of mine and I got a funny taste in my mouth, the taste of blood, I started freakin out that she was on her period and she didn't tell me...turns out it was a nose bleed, she laughed at me for about an hour!

Now, of ALL times to get a nosebleed, and I'm a big nerd as well...it was the most loser-esque thing to happen to me...my friends think its the funniest thing ever

Tar.Aldarion

The number on the bottom of buckfast tells you how sweet it is. :pac:

The Al Lad

I knew 2 girls who went on holidays in spain, when they came back to their apartment they had been broken into, but nothing taken

so anyway this was on the second day of holiday, so they continued on for the 2 weeks having a ball, and when they returned home they dropped their disposable camea's into the local shop to be developed,

when they collected the photo's the shop owner was in bits laughing and embarassingily handed them over, so the girls rush out of the shop and look at the pictures, which contains photo's of the two guys who broke into the apartment and had took pictures of themselves with the girls toothbrushes up there arses and rubbing them on their mickies and balls

Dirty...

Now when ever we see them around the estate we make the brushing your teeth sign at them...

BJC

A mate of mine came home from a surfing trip across the west coast and told me a diddy he heard along the way....

So one of the nights he was out in the local and he started chatting to a bloke at the bar and the bloke told him of the last time he was in this town a few years ago that he scored a strip of acid with his mates. So he and his mates, off their heads on acid went for a wander around the small town and ended up in every establishment they could find...pubs...restaurants...clubs, the works. the next morning one of his mates runs into the bloke my mate was chatting to and says,
"F8ck! Did you remember all that sh*t we did last night!?" And the bloke says,
"Well, not really actually it's all a bit of a blur"
"Well do you remember the leprachaun?"
"Eeehh....Yeah..actually I do.."
"And we locked him under the stairs when we came home, remember!?"
"Yeah, yeah I do!"
So they slowly and cautiously approached the small triangular door with the little latch on it. The main fella reaches out and unhooks the latch...they opened the door...and there was a little kid with down syndrome sitting there!

Believed it until I heard it two weeks later froma different bloke.

Leanan Sidhe

I heard a rumour once about a girl who lived near me who got suspended from secondary school over pleasuring herself with a pencil in class. She got slagged for years over that one.

There was another rumour going around about me in school when I was absent one day that I got run over by a bus. Needless to say everyone was so surprised when I turned up the next morning for Irish class

This thread is hilerious,thanks for cheering me up!