Getting A 17 Month In Her Own Bed

neoB

My daughter has been out of the crib for a bit. she still is a bit iffy on getting to sleep herself. My husband and I got her a toddler bed to sleep in March of this year.
I just can't keep her in it though. She wakes up in the middle of the night and jumps into our bed. I have to wait until she is sleep, or sit next to her bed until she falls back to sleep. It's getting very tiresome because I am up already all night with my three month old son. The husband hogs up the bed enough and when she gets in, i just give up and go on the couch.
She sleeps in it, just the waking up up bit and jumping into my bed is getting a bit old. Is it bad to keep her door closed so she can get back to bed? Any suggestions? Am I expecting too much from her?


sleepless mom

Abi

neoB wrote: »

The husband hogs up the bed enough and when she gets in, i just give up and go on the couch.

Hi -Well firstly, you need a chat with your husband. You didnt make these babies by yourself.

The change in bed probably caused the upset, but its going to have to take perseverance from both of you. Make sure your little one isnt
cat-napping during the day, to ensure she is tired enough to stay in bed at night.

A bath at night and a story helps mine wind down. You have a hell of a lot on your plate at the moment, so do have a talk with himself.

Loopy

I empathise with you. I have a little one around the same age and am contemplating taking her from her cot and into a bed. I know I will run into the same problems as yourself. At the moment, this kid (even without a nap) will roll around the house till midnight, if she was allowed. Thats the luxury of the cot as soon as she gets in she knows its bedtime and nods off.

I agree with what Abigayle said about talking to your husband and really persevere with your child. The bath and storytime every night are also great, she will get into a routine and if you consistently put her back to her own bed every time she gets out, it will eventually get through to her. Good Luck.:)

Oryx

The same night time routine at 3am as you have at 8pm helps. I dont mean telling stories all night, but if at bedtime she gets tucked up with teddy and you have a set way of leaving the room, do the same thing in the middle of the night. The main thing is that once you decide that she is going back at night and not sleeping in your bed, be consistent. Give in once and you are back to square one.

All that said, my son when he was 3, went through a stage of constantly coming into our bed. My hubby is softer than me and always gave in. Eventually I used to give up and go sleep in my sons bed to get some rest, I cant sleep with a kid who wriggles like an octopus.:) It eased up by itself eventually. Now I cant get him out of his bed.:)

Well, when my twins were little they stayed in cots till around 3yrs of age. And they slept in those sleepingbag suits with the arms out so they wouldn't be lifting the leggies over the side of the cot! By then they were able to open the zips, so with some modifications I turned the suits back-to-front to make them unopenable. By the time they moved into proper beds there was no problem with beddie byes.

flynnc8

controlled crying.... and a bed time routine... I swear by it...

My daughters routine was upset really badly when we moved house...
I've always bathed my daughter and read her a book before bed time but this wasnt working when we moved.. So I began conrolled crying... It was two nights of absolute hell but well worth it... the third night and every night since she has been in bed for 7.30pm and not a peep till 7/8am....

As someone already mentioned... If they wake during the night just do the usual routine.. I pick my daughter up, give her a hug, tell her its late and how much I love her.. then lay her back down and she is out for the count...

I know every child is different but I really do think controlled crying works fabulously... I've used this technique 2 or 3 times when my daughters routine has beeen disturbed.. and works like a charm each time...

kelle

OP, I'm not much help to you. I have a 17-month-old monkey daughter who has slept in between us since she was born - when I'd place her in her crib she'd always wake up no matter how gently I tried. I've been through this twice before, and didn't try getting them into their own beds until they were 2.5 years old. So I have another year to go, though I'm getting no sleep at the moment as she wakes up frequently throughout the night kicking the bedclothes off us, kicking me and pulling my hair (not daddy's though). My problem is the fact she wakes up constantly, she goes crazy if I'm not there. If she could just go to sleep and not wake up for a few hours I'd be able to move her. But that didn't happen with my other two until they were 2.5!
I tried controlled crying with my eldest, and he actually roared all night (they're not supposed to do that!) - then became more clingy than ever I had to take 2 weeks off work as he wouldn't stay with his childminder. I said never again!
When my son was 23 months and my older daughter a newborn, I was so sleep deprived like yourself we actually moved another double bed into the bedroom, joined the two together and slept blissfully! That's what I'd do if I was in your situation, but that's just me!
BTW, congratulations on your new baby!

neoB

thanks so much for the advice! When she was in the crib, i just let her cry until she went to sleep and it paid off. i'm trying with the bed still. But I think she may just go in the smaller crib while the baby occupies her old one. it's good to see I wasn't and am not the only one dealing with such things. I just have to keep stressing to the daddy that she needs to keep the same bed time for fecks sake and running around until 10pm while i'm trying to sleep before baby wakes up is not cooL!
Good luck

mymo

My daughter never slept in daytime and not a lot at night(averaged 6 1/2 hours at one stage)When a baby i pushed cot against bed and took off the side. When she tried to get in our bed put her back, held her hand or stroked her head and she'd quiet down. Took about 10 days to stop her getting in our bed. then she'd wake and reach out or speak to check i was there occasionally. At about 19 months got her own bed in own room and it all started again. 2 weeks of getting up, bringing her back in, quieting down a few times. used to tell her call me but stay in bed sometimes just answering her calls helped. Still had the odd night she 'd come in, but got less frequent. I know it's hard. I also had added problems of talking in sleep and occasional sleep walking. (once found her in trying to get in the bath talking about the pony on the roof.) She also wouldn't let daddy do it when he did get up. Thankfully all settled now she's a very happy 10 year old.Hasn't tried to get in our bed in years.
my friend used same method, worked in 4 nights. it's worth it in long run, my cousin has a king size bed and a 11 year old and a 9 year old most nights. Her hubby in kids bed. she said they'd grow out of it!