Why are you single?

ModeSkeletor

Dlite wrote: »

he last three months I went on two dates where men have come clean about how old they actually are (under 24 enough said) - Where are all the older men?

In meaningful, committed relationships. Generally.

Dudess

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

i am 28 and seriously getting worried that i will be left on my own for life! (which is my worst nightmare).

You = 28
End of life = 80+
You've time enough yet girl...

Caoimhín

Dudess wrote: »

You = 28
End of life = 80+
You've time enough yet girl...

Thats very optimistic. I consider myself to be middle aged at 30 because its very unlikely that i will live past 60.
Think about that Dudess, Middle aged at 30.:eek:

STUBBORNGIRL

Dudess wrote: »

You = 28
End of life = 80+
You've time enough yet girl...

Well thanks for that but that is what i keep telling myself but then i just think that i have been on my own for the past 15 what is to say i wont be on my own for another 15 (and i say 15 cause i had my first kiss and a 2.5 week relationship when i was 13)

And if i live to see 50 on my own you can be sure that will be the end of life cause i will be ending it!!! i would rather die than spend it alone!

Dudess

If you end up alone you learn to get on with it - people do. Or they just settle for someone whom they're not that mad about due to fear of being alone... and end up alone anyway when that relationship inevitably finishes.

Caoimhín

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

i would rather die than spend it alone!

Now thats just silly talk, you dont mean that.
Of course you will meet somebody, just get out and about a bit more.

DD

Sherifu wrote: »

I find it kind of sad that people would be afraid of being alone or being responsible for their own happiness. I'd hate to settle for less.

selfish

DD

Sherifu wrote: »

I wasn't referring to everyone in relationships.[that would include me]

Lol, you are funny, a relantionship ...when you stay 24 hours /day on boards, when to find the time for something else?

Caoimhín

dianaangeleyes wrote: »

lol, ur funny, a rship ...when? u stay 24 hrs /day on boards, when time for smth else?

Can you not spell, or are you just too lazy?

Dudess

dianaangeleyes wrote: »

selfish

No it isn't. There's nothing wrong with having/enjoying independence. Beats being needy.

caoibhin wrote: »

Can you not spell, or are you just too lazy?

Less of that.

dianaangeleyes, text-speak use is a breach of the After Hours charter.

Rb

Dudess wrote: »

A few weeks? I wish. 11 days actually... Actually it's more like 10 now...

Value your 20s dammit!

I made you a new sig especially for your bday

[ url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/ ]
[img ]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10757;7/st/20080518/e/I%27m+officially+elderly/k/7111/event.png[/img ]
[ /url ]

Take out the spacing in the url& img parts

DD

Dudess wrote: »

No it isn't. There's nothing wrong with having/enjoying independence. Beats being needy.

Less of that.

dianaangeleyes, text-speak use is a breach of the After Hours charter.

Thanks, I have done it better...
I don't agree with 24 hours /day staying in the front of the pc (posting, downloading, gaming), I would say it is not too healthy, normal.
Not a normal life for sure.....

Dudess

How lovely of you... Born in 1986 eh? Christ you're young. I'd have thought you were older...

DD

caoibhin wrote: »

Can you not spell, or are you just too lazy?

Are you annoyed by my spelling? I have done it better now. Or is it because you recognized yourself in this picture.

Dudess

Enough with the bickering. Now where on earth did you get the notion that Sherifu is in front of his PC for 24 hours a day? And he's actually in a relationship as far as I know.

Rb

Dudess wrote: »

How lovely of you... Born in 1986 eh? Christ you're young. I'd have thought you were older...

Yep, just 22. Ah youth, how I love it.

I bet things were different in your day,eh? No tvs, sat around with your parents in the evening listening to broadcasts about the war, not as easy as them damn young 'uns have it these days, eh?:p

DD

Judging by the number of the posts in a short period of time.
And I know it because who would know it better than me.

twanky

Wibbs: 'I like being single. If I'm with someone I care about that's great too. Being single means I can concentrate on me and my direction through life for a while, without worrying about someone else's.
Being part of a relationship thats good and balanced is great. The thing is that's quite rare in my experience and of those around me. Maybe I'm fussy, but out of all the couples I know and have known I can think of only two, three at the outside that I would like to emulate. Most are not so great, or downright destructive especially as the years pass.'


U r a genius!

If i came across some1 that was worth it then id get in a relationship but im happy the way i am and i dont feel the need for a bf

the one thing i hate is people who hop from one relationship to the next. how exactly are u truly getting over one person if ur just subjecting all ur issues onto the next partner? u need to b happy on ur own and single before u can make some1 else happy or b happy with some1 else

Wibbs

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

i know i have myself to blame but thanks for making the point

Reading back how I put that it sounds harsher than was meant. I meant more that it's something in your control more than blame if you know what I mean.

and i have been seeing this guy for the past year but it would go a few months before i would see him....

Big red flag right there. If you're seeing someone for real it usually means more consistent contact, esoecially beyond the bedroom.

it has only really gotten to me of late as all other times i would have fallen out with him and not really bothered.

Trust yourself more for a start. You fell out with him for a reason. I reckon the things that worried you about him(and your rection to him) were the things that finally let you make the right decision.

I wouldnt have the best figure in the world (ok im a size 18)

Plenty of guys dig that. The fact is looking around, there are more women your size than women who are size 8. They're not for the most part alone either. Now you could try and get fitter and lose the weight, but if you're insecure now you'll likely find the insecurity would follow you even as the pounds fell away. I know women with unbelievable bodies and I don't mean what is commonly referred to as that and they have insecurities.

but he made me feel really comfortable in my body and i could let go with him!

Which is completely understandable. I get that, I do, but the problem with relying on others to that degree for your self worth is they have power over you and all too often will abuse it. Also they can leave and when they do you've lost your self worth even more. In some ways you can't blame them as you give them responsibility for something that should be yours. You have to get it by yourself and for yourself. Yes others can influence it, but it should be on your terms.

I suppose i did always know that i was a booty call but i didnt want to believe that i was! i always thought he would miss me too much and keep coming back or eventually he would get to like me!

Again you know in yourself how much of a mistake those things are to think. This the thing you know instinctively whats what in this situation. Trust yourself more.

I am quite funny and i know how to have a laugh and i suppose i always thought that would win him over - sad me!!

Nope it'll win the right man over. He just wasn't it. There is one out there. Hell with the worlds population being in the billions and half of them male the chances are high that there are 100,000's of thousands of them out there.

Rb

twanky wrote: »

Wibbs: 'I like being single. If I'm with someone I care about that's great too. Being single means I can concentrate on me and my direction through life for a while, without worrying about someone else's.
Being part of a relationship thats good and balanced is great. The thing is that's quite rare in my experience and of those around me. Maybe I'm fussy, but out of all the couples I know and have known I can think of only two, three at the outside that I would like to emulate. Most are not so great, or downright destructive especially as the years pass.'


U r a genius!

If i came across some1 that was worth it then id get in a relationship but im happy the way i am and i dont feel the need for a bf

the one thing i hate is people who hop from one relationship to the next. how exactly are u truly getting over one person if ur just subjecting all ur issues onto the next partner? u need to b happy on ur own and single before u can make some1 else happy or b happy with some1 else

Look straight at your monitor

Now look down

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V


See that? That's a keyboard! You'll notice it has all the letters of the English alphabet on it, so please use them when constructing words and sentences.

Caoimhín

twanky wrote: »

Wibbs: 'I like being single. If I'm with someone I care about that's great too. Being single means I can concentrate on me and my direction through life for a while, without worrying about someone else's.
Being part of a relationship thats good and balanced is great. The thing is that's quite rare in my experience and of those around me. Maybe I'm fussy, but out of all the couples I know and have known I can think of only two, three at the outside that I would like to emulate. Most are not so great, or downright destructive especially as the years pass.'


U r a genius!

If i came across some1 that was worth it then id get in a relationship but im happy the way i am and i dont feel the need for a bf

the one thing i hate is people who hop from one relationship to the next. how exactly are u truly getting over one person if ur just subjecting all ur issues onto the next partner? u need to b happy on ur own and single before u can make some1 else happy or b happy with some1 else

I'm sure you have an interesting and valid point, however i do not understand what you have written.

Wibbs

twanky wrote: »

U r a genius!

The cheques in the post....

the one thing i hate is people who hop from one relationship to the next. how exactly are u truly getting over one person if ur just subjecting all ur issues onto the next partner?

They never do basically.

u need to b happy on ur own and single before u can make some1 else happy or b happy with some1 else

I reckon so too.

twanky

nice attitude!! i have been making the effort to write properly all day in exams sorry if i wasnt meeting your standards!!! i was lazy theres nothing else to it really!!

correct spelling just for you!!!!:eek:

Moojuice

Just got out of a 6.5 year relationship, about a year ago. I dont want to start from scratch again. I gave it a go and it did not work out so thats it for me (for the near future anyway, I might change my mind at some stage). I am not going to let someone get close again for a long long time, possibly even never.

johnnyrotten

I'm not

Dudess

Guys, leave off on twanky's use of text-speak, that's for one of the AH moderators to point out. Twanky, text-speak is in breach of the After Hours charter.
Thanks.

Dudess

rb_ie wrote: »

Yep, just 22. Ah youth, how I love it.

I bet things were different in your day,eh? No tvs, sat around with your parents in the evening listening to broadcasts about the war, not as easy as them damn young 'uns have it these days, eh?:p

Born in 1986 - you're such a fuppin' baby... Do you even have the slightest recollection of that groundbreaking decade known as the 80s? Ya missed out, kid...

I was born in 1984 and do have some recollection of it. Am I a baby too? hehe :pac:

STUBBORNGIRL

Wibbs wrote: »

Reading back how I put that it sounds harsher than was meant. I meant more that it's something in your control more than blame if you know what I mean. Big red flag right there. If you're seeing someone for real it usually means more consistent contact, esoecially beyond the bedroom. Trust yourself more for a start. You fell out with him for a reason. I reckon the things that worried you about him(and your rection to him) were the things that finally let you make the right decision. Plenty of guys dig that. The fact is looking around, there are more women your size than women who are size 8. They're not for the most part alone either. Now you could try and get fitter and lose the weight, but if you're insecure now you'll likely find the insecurity would follow you even as the pounds fell away. I know women with unbelievable bodies and I don't mean what is commonly referred to as that and they have insecurities. Which is completely understandable. I get that, I do, but the problem with relying on others to that degree for your self worth is they have power over you and all too often will abuse it. Also they can leave and when they do you've lost your self worth even more. In some ways you can't blame them as you give them responsibility for something that should be yours. You have to get it by yourself and for yourself. Yes others can influence it, but it should be on your terms. Again you know in yourself how much of a mistake those things are to think. This the thing you know instinctively whats what in this situation. Trust yourself more.

Nope it'll win the right man over. He just wasn't it. There is one out there. Hell with the worlds population being in the billions and half of them male the chances are high that there are 100,000's of thousands of them out there.

thanks Wibbs! I feel so much better now! God you are good. Are you a counsellor by profession cause you really do know your stuff and offer good advice! i have put that booty call guy to sleep but i dont think i will ever forget the way he made me feel when we were with eachother!

And you are right he did have power over me knowing my insecurity in my body! i did think that maybe he had a girlfriend but what girlfriend would put up with her boyfriend going missing on a sat night! even him returning at 10 on Sunday wouldnt be accepted!

I have such bad luck though and i am not just being negative! Anytime i find myself gettin on with a guy, i find out he either has a girlfriend or likes one of my friends! the guys i want dont want me and the ones that want me i dont want! catch22

i do go out all the time and i never let an opportuity for doing something new pass me by!! this is what is making it so much harder to digest! now all of my friends have boyfriends and i find myself fighting for their company!! most of them wont commit to doing something in the future incase their boyfriends want them to do something! its getting very frustrating and i find myself on my own alot during the week! its fine at the weekends cause i can just get into my car and go home for the weekend to my family and friends at home but that isnt the ideal situation either. its 3.5 hours home....

what is out there for single girls nowadays! it is very hard to meet a guy in a pub or niteclub cause chances are they arent even going to remember you the next day! what is the best way to meet guys! i find myself reading every self help book out there! and someone asked me if i had read he's just not that into you and the answer is yes i have! i have read the rules, if i am so great why am i still single, skinny bitch, cosmic ordering! to be honest they are all bull and spiel out a load of horse sh!te!!!

i sound like a moan - God is this what i am turning into!!

Davidius

I remember the 80s well. Being born in the 90s never stopped me. :pac:

Lockstep

Hey, hey.

Ease up now.

PErsonally I prefer being in relationships than one night stands

Lots of guys do.

Just relax, it'll all come to you.

Eeeh I feel 45:pac:

gaeilgegrinds

I'm single. Would prefer to have someone but it has to be the right someone. A lot of people my age don't want relationships. I've been asked out but won't just settle, he's got to be right for me. In total of the past 9 years I've been single one and a half.

Lockstep

Also, I end up with crazy ones.

I'm all for commitment etc but being asked about marriage prospects after a months is a bit freaky.

gaeilgegrinds

Interesting...I've been told I'm the opposite. I give off the impression I don't NEED a man...but yet I always thought needyness offputting, go figure!

FruitLover

Dudess wrote: »

Guys, leave off on twanky's use of text-speak, that's for one of the AH moderators to point out.

It's for moderators to edit or warn about text-speak. Regular posters are perfectly within their rights to mention to another poster that text-speak is annoying.

kowloon

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Eeeh I feel 45:pac:

How do you like feeling young again?

Rb

Dudess wrote: »

Born in 1986 - you're such a fuppin' baby... Do you even have the slightest recollection of that groundbreaking decade known as the 80s? Ya missed out, kid...

Lol, with your senile dementia kicking in, I doubt you've much of a recollection of those days either

Lockstep

kowloon wrote: »

How do you like feeling the young again?

Fixed it for you.

philoshea

hi my sister gave up everything for an ex it didnt work out so you re right not to rush into anything

drunkmonkey

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

now all of my friends have boyfriends and i find myself fighting for their company!! most of them wont commit to doing something in the future incase their boyfriends want them to do something! its getting very frustrating and i find myself on my own alot during the week!

enjoy it while you can....it gets worse, wait until they start gettin married......If I knew some of my friends were going to dump me and run off with strange women i would have picked different mates years ago.......

Men are just as Bad......just got a call from one of my best female mates the other day.....first time she called me in 2 years.....got married and fell completly off the radar......now she's probably tired of the hubby and wants to get her friends back again.........like I want to hang out with a married woman with a paronid husband....

Marriage, Boyfriends, Girlfriends.....it's all fcuked up.....and it's not natural.......I wish I was born in a different less organised time in history when life didn't have to fit in boxes..

I'm putting on my party hat for the summer.....and scew the lot of them......i'm going for some young friends with a lust for like not mortages and dinner partys...

phew....glad I got that out of my system....


Golden rule of tumb......half your age and add 7 and it's fine to date them......now where do all the 23yr old chicks hang out....;)

STUBBORNGIRL

Wibbs wrote: »

Reading back how I put that it sounds harsher than was meant. I meant more that it's something in your control more than blame if you know what I mean. Big red flag right there. If you're seeing someone for real it usually means more consistent contact, esoecially beyond the bedroom. Trust yourself more for a start. You fell out with him for a reason. I reckon the things that worried you about him(and your rection to him) were the things that finally let you make the right decision. Plenty of guys dig that. The fact is looking around, there are more women your size than women who are size 8. They're not for the most part alone either. Now you could try and get fitter and lose the weight, but if you're insecure now you'll likely find the insecurity would follow you even as the pounds fell away. I know women with unbelievable bodies and I don't mean what is commonly referred to as that and they have insecurities. Which is completely understandable. I get that, I do, but the problem with relying on others to that degree for your self worth is they have power over you and all too often will abuse it. Also they can leave and when they do you've lost your self worth even more. In some ways you can't blame them as you give them responsibility for something that should be yours. You have to get it by yourself and for yourself. Yes others can influence it, but it should be on your terms. Again you know in yourself how much of a mistake those things are to think. This the thing you know instinctively whats what in this situation. Trust yourself more.

Nope it'll win the right man over. He just wasn't it. There is one out there. Hell with the worlds population being in the billions and half of them male the chances are high that there are 100,000's of thousands of them out there.

drunkmonkey wrote: »

enjoy it while you can....it gets worse, wait until they start gettin married......If I knew some of my friends were going to dump me and run off with strange women i would have picked different mates years ago.......

Men are just as Bad......just got a call from one of my best female mates the other day.....first time she called me in 2 years.....got married and fell completly off the radar......now she's probably tired of the hubby and wants to get her friends back again.........like I want to hang out with a married woman with a paronid husband....

Marriage, Boyfriends, Girlfriends.....it's all fcuked up.....and it's not natural.......I wish I was born in a different less organised time in history when life didn't have to fit in boxes..

I'm putting on my party hat for the summer.....and scew the lot of them......i'm going for some young friends with a lust for like not mortages and dinner partys...

phew....glad I got that out of my system....


Golden rule of tumb......half your age and add 7 and it's fine to date them......now where do all the 23yr old chicks hang out....;)

that rule of thumb is great!! i fancied this guy and he was 21 but i really didnt think i could go that young until one of my friends told me about the rule of thumb!! still didnt score him but still it eased my mind as to whether i was going to be branded a baby snatcher!

oh believe me i know all bout friends getting married aswell! those friends are the ones that make the effort though!i envy the relationships they have with their husbands because they have something that i so long for!!!

As for that friend not gettin in touch with you for 2 years i think you know where to tell her to go!! how cheeky! see i know there are people i havent spoken to in about 2 months and even in my desperate times looking for people to do something with i knew better than to ring them - i wouldnt want to be branded as a user ...that is exactly wat i would have been!! i just had to sit it out!

Good for you putting on your party hat and going for younger! dont know what part of the country you are in but in Dublin there is a place called Flannery's and it is a howl and you are guaranteed to find a 23year old girl!! still smiling at the rule of thumb....:)

drunkmonkey

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

in Dublin there is a place called Flannery's and it is a howl and you are guaranteed to find a 23year old girl!! still smiling at the rule of thumb....:)

I'm being dragged to flannerys on friday night.....bringing my club with me and i'm just going to bop the best looking girl over the head and drag her back to my cave in tipp....ohh for the simple life..:)

ModeSkeletor

I think in Ireland it is the young guys (19-23) who find it difficult to pick up girls their age, and then for girls it is around ages (27-31) who find it most difficult to find guys their age. My theory on this is that when those young guys eventually find a girl, they stick with her and so are unavailable in their late 20's, or early 30's.

London now.. that's a completely different story.

star-pants

Why am I single?
Good question....
I reckon it's because to the untrained eye I'm not worth it.
It can take em a few months to figure it out I guess.

Nerin

star-pants wrote: »

Why am I single?
Good question....
I reckon it's because to the untrained eye I'm not worth it.
It can take em a few months to figure it out I guess.

i refuse to believe that!

im single cuz im a grumpy fecker.
that and im starting to hate people. in general. damn human race. grumble. :pac:

The Recliner

star-pants wrote: »

Why am I single?
Good question....
I reckon it's because to the untrained eye I'm not worth it.
It can take em a few months to figure it out I guess.

Nerin wrote: »

i refuse to believe that!

Have to agree with Nerin here

I was nuts about you before I had even met you

TomCo

Im single because I'm just too real.

tHE vAGGABOND

Single cos Im lazy

Rob_l

Im single coz all they people in this thread are getting all my lovely crazy women :(:(
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055289305

MIN2511

My friend said something to me yesterday "You are still single because you are searching for a relationship" hmm right... i never thought about that... To me it was more like, ah well am single no big deal! Party on! Drink loads, whats life without a bit of fun....Am 22 btw(23 in a months time)

But after she said that it hit me, what do i want? A relationship or mingling?
And i have a nagging headache because i still don't know what i want....