Why are you single?

Rob_l

In answer to the original question

Because nobody loves me

Earthhorse

Aw, some people just need a little luck, that's all...

Wibbs

useful_contacts wrote: »

and i havnt been the last 6 years (cos i jump from 1 bf to the next)

Not good. It means you never become a personality of your own, on your own and for yourself.

- my temper

Which you have the power to control.

- my love of beer and i the fact drink too much plus when i drink im loud and forward

Why do you do it then, at least to that degree.

- the fact i blame anything that goes wrong in my life on my partner

Whoaaaa. Not healthy at all.

- the fact im bi and none of my bfs can handle it

Maybe or is that you expect them not to and act accordingly or choose men you know won't accept it. That will bite you in the arse down the line.

- the fact i blame my BFs for everything my ex did wrong

Another whoaaaa issue. Due in part to not being your own person, because of hopping form one relationship to the next, without acknowledging your previous partnerships, learning from them and moving on from them and indeed seeing what you did of anything to screw them up. Even why you're attracted more strongly to a particular type of person.

- the fact im sex mad

Never or at least rarely an issue for a man, unless it the kind of "I'm sex mad" when it's used for shock value or for a lack of intimacy funnily enough.

- the fact that if my partner does ONE thing wrong in his life i throw it back at them any chance i get

Jesus.

There was a thread here about bunny boilers and how to spot them and that list would be up there. Does this mean you're entirely a bunny boiler? No, but it does mean unless you change some of these unhealthy traits in yourself(and you can) then life will not go smooth for you never mind your partner. People will only take so much and there does come a point where they'll snap, or because they take so much you'll lose respect for them and then both will wonder where the "spark" went. People with traits like you describe are destined to be at best tolerated, at worst discarded, if they don't make some simple changes.

Jesus how does my Fiance put up with me!!!!!!

The question is how do you put up with yourself if you know these traits are making you and him unhappy at times?

The reason I jumped in all heavy on this otherwise somewhat jokey thread is that I know a woman very similar to how you describe yourself and I also have seen how life has gone badly for her because of it. I also know men who have gotten involved with women like this and again it has not gone well. This is not to say you're the same as them. Not at all, but you seem to think this is an issue, so work on it now before you end up married. This can be avoided. It's in your power to do so. Your life and personality and emotional health are not some runaway train you can't control. You can and it's good to do so.

Puddleduck

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Would all the ladies here do me a favor?


Stop calling him your bf!

No particular reason for it but it just irks me.
Bf is the kind of thing girls in my class had in their Msn sign in names when they were 12.

but other half, significant other, and partner sound like a term youd use if your gay or something...

boyfriend is pretty perfect, hes a boy and your friend

kev_s88

i have this really annoying habit of only being able to attract people who are afraid of commitment........that and im a bit shallow.i mean i'll give everyone a chance but i prefer good looks and if i dont like what i here from the not-so-good looking then its a swift goodbye to them

joejoem

Because of a little something I call "The Three Week Freak"....



Things are great for a short amount of time, then after three weeks my head starts to get wrecked.

Lockstep

Puddleduck wrote: »

but other half, significant other, and partner sound like a term youd use if your gay or something...

boyfriend is pretty perfect, hes a boy and your friend

nono, boyfriend is 100% grand with me.

Bf just annoys me, as do most forms of textspeak.

6th

WWII = txtspq

Rob_l

Im hideously ugly

Lockstep

Sabotage wrote: »

WWII = txtspq

Wrong. It's an abbreviation.

Anyway, I said MOST forms of textspeak. Stuff like Lol don't really matter simply as it's an integral part of the internet.

Sabotage

Sabotage wrote: »

WWII = txtspq

No, it's Abbreviation. Text speak is the mutilaion of the English language to save someone typing a few extra letters.

Naked Lepper

ClioV6 wrote: »

I don't want to depend on someone else for my happiness, it's pathetic.

Booty calls for the win.

typical 'cant get a bird' styled post.

robinph

Big Chief wrote: »

...as its human nature i guess to be with someone.

Is it though?

It is human nature to try and procreate to continue the species, but is there really anything natural about our pairing off with another of the oppisite sex for life?

DanGerMus

It would probably be better for the furtherment of the race to spread ones seed to as many and as diverse a range of peoples as possible.

At least thats what i'd say to the gf if i ever got caught cheating.

Sangre

robinph wrote: »

Is it though?

It is human nature to try and procreate to continue the species, but is there really anything natural about our pairing off with another of the oppisite sex for life?

yes. its also human nature to form communities.

children are extremely reliant on parents, they need full time supervision. A single woman can't look after a child and also hunt. Thats why two parents were needed.

FruitLover

Sangre wrote: »

A single woman can't look after a child and also hunt. Thats why two parents were needed.

Three heads are better than two! At least, that's what I'm going to tell my future wives.

Wibbs

FruitLover wrote: »

Three heads are better than two!

Not if both are stupid.

Overheal

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Would all the ladies here do me a favor?


Stop calling him your bf!

No particular reason for it but it just irks me.
Bf is the kind of thing girls in my class had in their Msn sign in names when they were 12.

omg tisnf, leave my bff jill alone.

Dudess

Deleted User wrote: »

No, it's Abbreviation. Text speak is the mutilaion of the English language to save someone typing a few extra letters.

And yet it probably takes more time for people to think of textspeak alternatives than to just type/key in the damn words - especially considering there's the predictive text facility.

Yeah bf/gf or boyf/girlf is utterly pointless. It reminds me of those lame magazines for teenage girls that give lessons in the art of being a bint.

Lockstep

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah bf/gf or boyf/girlf is utterly pointless. It reminds me of those lame magazines for teenage girls that give lessons in the art of being a bint.

I'd give this post thanks if I could.

Instead, +1.

STUBBORNGIRL

Naked Lepper wrote: »

typical 'cant get a bird' styled post.

Booty Calls are not nice! they leave women feeling empty! i cant believe you have that attitude! I got caught up in one recently....But stupid me didnt realise it for what it was! i believed him when he said he had a family thing every sunday and had to leave at half 8 or 9 in the morning!!! When i look back at it all the signs were there! i jsut couldnt let myself believe that someone would do that and wouldnt want to be with me for the day! The chemistry between us was electrifying and i thought that was enough!!!

Anyway i totally cut the cord on that! i sent him a text message which was meant for my friend and it more or less said that i didnt care if i didnt see him again because it wasnt as if the sex was mindblowing - well needless to say i aint goign to be getting anymore ten to two calls on a sat night!! ! I am going to find someone who wants to stay with me all day on Sunday and who wants to go on dates! Oh yeah he would never agree to a date because he worked 13 hour days! (another lie i couldnt fathom) These guys need to be stopped!!! so girls i urge you all not to give into this type of behaviour! you are worth more and deserve better! !

The Chessplayer

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

Booty Calls are not nice! they leave women feeling empty! i cant believe you have that attitude! I got caught up in one recently....But stupid me didnt realise it for what it was! i believed him when he said he had a family thing every sunday and had to leave at half 8 or 9 in the morning!!! When i look back at it all the signs were there! i jsut couldnt let myself believe that someone would do that and wouldnt want to be with me for the day! The chemistry between us was electrifying and i thought that was enough!!!

Anyway i totally cut the cord on that! i sent him a text message which was meant for my friend and it more or less said that i didnt care if i didnt see him again because it wasnt as if the sex was mindblowing - well needless to say i aint goign to be getting anymore ten to two calls on a sat night!! ! I am going to find someone who wants to stay with me all day on Sunday and who wants to go on dates! Oh yeah he would never agree to a date because he worked 13 hour days! (another lie i couldnt fathom) These guys need to be stopped!!! so girls i urge you all not to give into this type of behaviour! you are worth more and deserve better! !

Emm I didn't realise you were on boards! I did have an appointment on sunday mornings. I had to go to visit my sick granny :cool:

Lockstep

The Chessplayer wrote: »

Emm I didn't realise you were on boards! I did have an appointment on sunday mornings. I had to go to visit my sick granny :cool:

haha genius.

MIN2511

The Chessplayer wrote: »

Emm I didn't realise you were on boards! I did have an appointment on sunday mornings. I had to go to visit my sick granny :cool:

Class:p

MIN2511

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

Booty Calls are not nice! they leave women feeling empty! i cant believe you have that attitude! I got caught up in one recently....But stupid me didnt realise it for what it was! i believed him when he said he had a family thing every sunday and had to leave at half 8 or 9 in the morning!!! When i look back at it all the signs were there! i jsut couldnt let myself believe that someone would do that and wouldnt want to be with me for the day! The chemistry between us was electrifying and i thought that was enough!!!

Anyway i totally cut the cord on that! i sent him a text message which was meant for my friend and it more or less said that i didnt care if i didnt see him again because it wasnt as if the sex was mindblowing - well needless to say i aint goign to be getting anymore ten to two calls on a sat night!! ! I am going to find someone who wants to stay with me all day on Sunday and who wants to go on dates! Oh yeah he would never agree to a date because he worked 13 hour days! (another lie i couldnt fathom) These guys need to be stopped!!! so girls i urge you all not to give into this type of behaviour! you are worth more and deserve better! !

You should read the book he's just not that into you

Wibbs

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

Booty Calls are not nice!

Unless both are into it, in which case, play on....

The chemistry between us was electrifying and i thought that was enough!!!

One of the biggest mistakes women make. The male slappers I know rely on it.

Anyway i totally cut the cord on that! i sent him a text message which was meant for my friend and it more or less said that i didnt care if i didnt see him again because it wasnt as if the sex was mindblowing - well needless to say i aint goign to be getting anymore ten to two calls on a sat night!! ! I am going to find someone who wants to stay with me all day on Sunday and who wants to go on dates! Oh yeah he would never agree to a date because he worked 13 hour days! (another lie i couldnt fathom)

So how long did you go with this guy for? Did you not cop on early you were a booty call?

These guys need to be stopped!!! so girls i urge you all not to give into this type of behaviour! you are worth more and deserve better! !

It's like thievery, if nobody bought stolen goods then very little would get stolen. If some women fall for this stuff on the basis of chemistry as opposed to concrete relationship stuff then they have only themselves to blame really.

The Chessplayer

Wibbs wrote: »

So how long did you go with this guy for? Did you not cop on early you were a booty call? QUOTE]


I thought only yanks used the term booty call?

Davidius

"Booty call".

This along with "Bloke" and "score" (in the context of kissing/having sex) is to be banned under my regime.

Wibbs

Nothin wrong with bloke. Long history hereabouts.

Overheal

I'm sorry but I've never heard an American say bloke unless he was trying to crack a joke about the British.

But yes, ban Bloke and Bird.

Havermeyer

Booty Calls are not nice! they leave women feeling empty!

I'm fairly sure the blokes would be feeling empty after a booty call too, if you know what I mean.

But on a more serious note, what makes you view booty calls in that way? Are men the only people to have initiated a booty call ever? I know of somebody (a bloke) who got caught up in that sort of thing, but the woman was the instigator. It takes two to tango, excuse the cliché, so cop the fcuk on.

I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but it's not always the guy.

kowloon

I sawr a bint once. She didn't see me; I were 'Iding.

colc1

Sabotage wrote: »

Seriously. If you are single then why? Its not you its them? You like having time for you? Its not the right time? I dont like to be tied down?

I havent been single for the last 15 years and the idea of it doesnt appeal to me at all.

Financially its a lot better plus you have variety (definitely the spice of life:D) I personally choose to remain single make this clear to every girl I meet which means I am being honest too. Being tied down is awful I see lots of guys and the girls say jump and the guys say how high? In my opinion most Irish guys are like this its a bit sad and its a lack of self respect and self esteem its not like that in other countries I have been to, in fact maybe its too far the other way in other countries possibly.

15 years monogomous you must have missed out on lots unless you're very old fashioned? And I dont mean that as an insult but I would have found it hard.

Havermeyer

Financially its a lot better plus you have variety (definitely the spice of life) I personally choose to remain single make this clear to every girl I meet which means I am being honest too. Being tied down is awful I see lots of guys and the girls say jump and the guys say how high? In my opinion most Irish guys are like this its a bit sad and its a lack of self respect and self esteem its not like that in other countries I have been to, in fact maybe its too far the other way in other countries possibly.

15 years monogomous you must have missed out on lots unless you're very old fashioned? And I dont mean that as an insult but I would have found it hard.

Horses for courses, but your youth will run out eventually. I hope you like scrabble.

Lockstep

nummnutts wrote: »

I'm fairly sure the blokes would be feeling empty after a booty call too, if you know what I mean.

But on a more serious note, what makes you view booty calls in that way? Are men the only people to have initiated a booty call ever? I know of somebody (a bloke) who got caught up in that sort of thing, but the woman was the instigator. It takes two to tango, excuse the cliché, so cop the fcuk on.

I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but it's not always the guy.

I heartily endorse this event and or product.

There really is two people in this, blaming the guy for every booty call is hardly fair

Rob_l

kickoutthejams wrote: »

I heartily endorse this event and or product.

There really is two people in this, blaming the guy for every booty call is hardly fair

It is in effect a cop out by the female she is negating all of her responsibility, we are all grown ups and we all have to make decisions for our selfs but some rather than accept they made a bad choice choose to blame others.

Fall_Guy

kickoutthejams wrote: »

I heartily endorse this event and or product.

There really is two people in this, blaming the guy for every booty call is hardly fair

The booty call issue is a really interesting one.

First of all, you have to be sure that both people know the score and are happy with sex that leads nowhere.

Secondly you have to believe that the other person isn't just pretending they're happy with the situation hoping that it might lead to something more.

Then there's always the chance that after a while one of the people involved starts to get attatched to the other person on a deeper level.

@shole i was non-stop. To be fair, she probably had a point, but thats the risk you run when you get into a booty call situation with someone!

I've also been on the other side, starting out as just sex but then starting to get confused and think i might want something more despite the fact that the girl has made it clear that this isn't an option. Booty calls, while fun, should come with a disclaimer me thinks: enter at your own risk!

Lockstep

To be fair, if it is made explicitly clear to the other party that this is NSA fun, then really they enter into it at their own risk.


It's certainly not something I can see myself doing, but if both parties are fully aware of the story then there really isn't anyone to blame.

MIN2511

How do you define a booty call? Do you know it's a booty call or are they defined before initiated?

It's not only the women that get burnt some men do as well

I have been on both end, hurting someone and recently getting hurt myself.

azezil

I choose not to get close to anyone for now because of uncertainty about my long term health at this time. While I believe I am strong enough to deal with what I know is eventually going to come my way, I don't believe its fair to put someone else through it and also fear that if theyre not strong enough to provide support to me when or if needed, I believe that will do me more harm than good, thus I remain alone.

Booty calls are acceptable though *grin*

Lockstep

azezil wrote: »

I choose not to get close to anyone for now because of uncertainty about my long term health at this time.

Hope it all works out for you.

Bard

I'm single now because my girlfriend of 4 years (fiancee for 2) ended our relationship 2 months ago in a very cruel, callous and heartless way, after I'd done an incredible amount for her, including supporting her through a very difficult time.

But such is life.

Dudess

Tough break dude. Hope things get better quickly. Stay strong...

Dlite

I am single after 8 years in an "o.k. relationship”, o.k. in the last 2 years. Was like a straight rollercoaster. Since becoming single I have experienced the up's - (want to stay single) and downs - (want a relationship) and loop to loops - (where am I???).

The last three months I went on two dates where men have come clean about how old they actually are (under 24 enough said) - Where are all the older men?

gcgirl

I have a one or two Booty call friends ! I can't stand trying to massage ego's which is what i had to do with the ex He had so many insecuritys which came from the way he was brought up and i the only thing i missed out of the relationship was sex and with 3 kids most of my time is with them!!

gcgirl

Bard wrote: »

I'm single now because my girlfriend of 4 years (fiancee for 2) ended our relationship 2 months ago in a very cruel, callous and heartless way, after I'd done an incredible amount for her, supporting her through a very difficult time.

But such is life.

sorry to hear that i was let down the same as in the cruel, callous and heartless way and personally i wish he catches somethings and dies very painfully!

Rb

All you singletons should support Boards Speed Dating Event!.

Also, Dudess is 30 in a few weeks?! Pm me her address so I know where to send on her walking stick, denture glue "present".

RonMexico

Arsebiscuits. Take that you hatchet-faced bitches!

Dudess

rb_ie wrote: »

Also, Dudess is 30 in a few weeks?! Pm me her address so I know where to send on her walking stick, denture glue "present".

A few weeks? I wish. 11 days actually... Actually it's more like 10 now...

Value your 20s dammit!

STUBBORNGIRL

Wibbs wrote: »

Unless both are into it, in which case, play on....
One of the biggest mistakes women make. The male slappers I know rely on it.

So how long did you go with this guy for? Did you not cop on early you were a booty call? It's like thievery, if nobody bought stolen goods then very little would get stolen. If some women fall for this stuff on the basis of chemistry as opposed to concrete relationship stuff then they have only themselves to blame really.

hi Wibbs,

i know i have myself to blame but thanks for making the point and i have been seeing this guy for the past year but it would go a few months before i would see him.... it has only really gotten to me of late as all other times i would have fallen out with him and not really bothered. I wouldnt have the best figure in the world (ok im a size 18) but he made me feel really comfortable in my body and i could let go with him! I suppose i did always know that i was a booty call but i didnt want to believe that i was! i always thought he would miss me too much and keep coming back or eventually he would get to like me!

I am quite funny and i know how to have a laugh and i suppose i always thought that would win him over - sad me!!

I have only ever had 3 relationships of which none of them have lasted past the 10weeks! i dont think there is something wrong with me but i just want someone who makes me laugh and who i feel comfortable around and i thought he was the guy! anyway now i know he isnt!

Being single isnt as much fun as it used to be now that all my friends are hooking up with guys! i should prob tell you that i am 28 and seriously getting worried that i will be left on my own for life! (which is my worst nightmare). I have loads of male friends and i am not shy by any means but i just dont seem to have much luck in finding someone! so please forgive me if i let a booty call rule me when i know that it is just that! and the sex was amazing!!!!

I give up!