Feeling Desperate

Overheal

Dudess wrote: »

What's standard of prose got to do with it? You didn't express any gratitude, which is rude, that's all.

I've not known Red to be a sponge for Gratitude (you know - like me).
Give her the benefit of the doubt Dudess for what information we have been given.. The world has enough Cynics.

Suzi D

I've thought about bar work but apart from being a little long in the tooth I've no experience and the standard of bar staff in this country is very high.
Funky - don't even think about samaritan work.Your understanding of people in despair is lacking a little something.

Strokesfan

Hey Suzi,

I feel for you - I know what it's like to not have a good family support system. Could you give us a little more info to your story

Your age, how you got to this point and what you want to do in the longterm?

wandatowell

Red your a diamond, a decent skin as my old man would say

I'll defo be having a pint in your name tonight.

Have a good one friend

RedXIV

wandatowell wrote: »

Red your a diamond, a decent skin as my old man would say

I'll defo be having a pint in your name tonight.

Have a good one friend

you wouldn't post it up no?

Dudess

Overheal wrote: »

I've not known Red to be a sponge for Gratitude (you know - like me).
Give her the benefit of the doubt Dudess for what information we have been given.. The world has enough Cynics.

I am giving Suzi the benefit of the doubt - very much so. But no matter how bad your circumstances are, gratitude isn't too much to ask. Usually, the more desperate the circumstances, the more grateful the person.

funkycat83

All im saying is I personally wouldn't use that word for your situation. Suicide to me is an extremely dark place to be in. Yes your situation is bad but as was previously mentioned nothing is irreversable. You are being offered help which is obviously more than you bargained for if it was just sympathy you were after.

speaktofrank

the standard of bar staff in this country is very high.

You don't need much experience to go around picking up glasses. If you don't like it, wait until you save a deposit and a months rent then go on the dole until you find something better. Problem solved.

Overheal

speaktofrank wrote: »

You don't need much experience to go around picking up glasses. If you don't like it, wait until you save a deposit and a months rent then go on the dole until you find something better. Problem solved.

+1. I spent months washing glasses and stocking shelves before I was given a shot at pulling drink but it does happen. There is an entry level for everyone you just have to find it.

Suzi D

I never dreamed that there'd be anything more than an understanding and yes a sympathetic ear or two on here.Just found the thanks button - happy dudess? I'm not accustomed to asking for help of any kind and certainly didn't expect practical help to be offered.

AARRRGH

Suzi, have you tried contacting the Australian embassy? I seriously doubt they would let one of their citizens, who has just been robbed of nearly everything she owns, live homeless in Ireland.

RedXIV

Suzi D wrote: »

I never dreamed that there'd be anything more than an understanding and yes a sympathetic ear or two on here.Just found the thanks button - happy dudess? I'm not accustomed to asking for help of any kind and certainly didn't expect practical help to be offered.

look, don't concentrate on fighting aspect here

jobs in offaly

that's a good list and you should be able to find something you're capable of & enjoy

speaktofrank

Instead of bickering with Dudess you should be contacting Red and getting things sorted. If for some reason there is no job there, you will find plenty of positions available around Temple Bar as the summer season is coming and they will be needing more staff.
www.jobs.ie is a useful website too for vacant positions.

AARRRGH

If it's ok with the mods (as I own the website I'm about to link to), you could also try OffalyJobs.ie

Suzi - if your story is true, you can fix your situation. From what you've posted, it sounds like you've just let everything fall apart around you. Get your **** together and sort your life out. You have lots of options, including very generous help from strangers. Don't just sit on your ass doing nothing except looking for sympathy.

RedXIV

well i'm assuming we scared her off. ah well. i'll let ya know if anything comes of it and she gets in touch

Dlite

Suzi D wrote: »

Gotta get somewhere to stay first - can't work out of the car.

Eh, yes you can! Have you read any of Reds posts? Even if you don't want to take up the offer I think it deserves a "Thanks but no thanks?"
There are some people out there that are not in your situation that would appreciate that offer.

If you have pm'd him then please ignore me!:eek:

SORRY COMPUTER JUST REFRESHED...THINK DUDESS COVERED IT!

jank

Hmmm something not quite right here but ill give you the benifit of the doubt.
Have you worked before in ireland, if so contact the Social welfare

Victor

Money, cars, etc. are merely things, they can be replaced. Life can't be replaced. Things can be sorted out.

Now, can I suggest you talk to someone, be it friends or the Samaritans. Talking will help you put things in perspective.

If you don't have anywhere to stay, can you stay with friends for the weekend and go to your local Community Welfare Officer (usually in your local health centre) on Monday and he can help you sort out somewhere - ask for an emergency payment.

The court thing can happen - judges aren't into extracting blood from a stone.

http://www.samaritans.org/
jo@samaritans.org
1850 60 90 90

Gordon

I just wish people wouldn't bandy about terms like 'desperate' and 'suicidal' on this forum. It's like crying wolf and is detrimental to this forum imo.

Red, fair play to you. OP, I hope you get sorted. You asked in the first post for advice on what to do now - what do you wish for the most?

RedXIV

Ok update, she did ring me and here's what she failed to mention. she has 3 dogs (bitch and 2 puppies), she's 51 and she's trained to work with horses.

Kinda seems a bit more miserable now doesn't it?

I'm gonna keep looking around but there's not a huge amount i can do. while the dogs wouldn't bother me, i'm only renting a house and the lease says no pets....
I'm doing research but if anyone comes up with anything, let us know.

Cheers

Red

Dlite

Fair play for trying to help but If you are going to meet her, I think it is you who should bring a friend just incase.

Sorry but It all sounds a bit strange.

MissHoneyBun

Jeebus RedXIV i'm actually bowled over by your generosity.
You're one decent guy.

RedXIV

Dlite wrote: »

Fair play for trying to help but If you are going to meet her, I think it is you who should bring a friend just incase.

Sorry but It all sounds a bit strange.

I'm 6ft5 and do plenty of martial arts, i should be able to handle her


To MissHoneyBun, it's very easy to be generous, i'd find it harder to ignore.

littlefriend

OP - first of all I don't believe this is true at all but on the off chance it is 1 maybe you should consider does your bad attitude have anything to do with why you are in this situation and 2 wtf are you throwing words like 'suicidal' around for when you are looking for pity.

Red - fair play you - you have something special

Dlite

RedXIV wrote: »

I'm 6ft5 and do plenty of martial arts, i should be able to handle her


Daniel son... be wary of woman wi 3 dogs.:D

bigjohnny80

Gordon wrote: »

I just wish people wouldn't bandy about terms like 'desperate' and 'suicidal' on this forum. It's like crying wolf and is detrimental to this forum imo.

Gordon, you are absolutely right. Unfortunately the standard of moderating allows it to go on.

Gordon

bigjohnny80 wrote: »

Gordon, you are absolutely right. Unfortunately the standard of moderating allows it to go on.

If you have any suggestions then feel free to offer them, but not on thread thanks.

mikemac

I can't realy add to the advice already given.
If you can, see a Community Welfare Officer on Monday. Remember, we pay tax to help citizens in hardship so if you are entitled, then the money is yours.
Once you get sorted, you'll be pay it back 100 times over through PAYE & PRSI. That's assuming of course that you are already applying for jobs and I see a few job links have already been posted.

I don't know much about the charity side but maybe call the Samartians.

Fair play to RedXIV btw

Edit: Just scanning through Pages 2-5. You're not working? If not, then get your ass down to your local Spar or Centra. They are always hiring and you'll easily get a few hundred per week. Minimum wage maybe but it's better than claiming from the state. I had assumed you were Irish when I first posted. If I went to Australia (and I hope to next year) I would expect zero help from the state

Dlite

Gordon wrote: »

I just wish people wouldn't bandy about terms like 'desperate' and 'suicidal' on this forum. It's like crying wolf and is detrimental to this forum imo.

Through the post we have discovered that this could have been called "In a bit of a pickle" but I find the whole "Detrimental to this site" as much an over statement on your part.
Suicidal feelings are not always caused by life and death situations. It is how the person in question perceives their situation. Not how YOU perceive their situation!

Gordon

Dlite wrote: »

Through the post we have discovered that this could have been called "In a bit of a pickle" but I find the whole "Detrimental to this site" as much an over statement on your part.

Incorrect, I didn't say that, you are making an overstatement and are quoting me wrongly and falsely.

Suicidal feelings are not always caused by life and death situations. It is how the person in question perceives their situation. Not how YOU perceive their situation!

And the person in question isn't actually suicidal, that's my perception.

If you wish to discuss this further, please take it to the feedback or Helpdesk forum. Off topic posting is detrimental to "this thread". Thanks.

MissHoneyBun

RedXIV wrote: »

I'm 6ft5 and do plenty of martial arts, i should be able to handle her


To MissHoneyBun, it's very easy to be generous, i'd find it harder to ignore.

Yeah of course RedXIV, my heart goes out to some of the people who post on PI. To the point where I have to stop and think how grateful I should be for all the things I have and shouldn't take for granted. But actions speak louder than words and whereas most people on Boards lend a very kind ear and offer sincere advice, it's another level when a bed is offered to someone who needs it.

Good on ya Red

Overheal

More like 5'11" but hey..

aislingm137

There is a lot of advice here. I wish it gets better, you will get throught this situation. It is great that people like Red still exist. its good to know there are good people who sincerely want to help you in any way they can.

RedXIV

Something i'd like to clear up on this thread.

I've had alot of people compliment me in this for something that isn't that big a deal or hard to do. 2 phone calls was all it took to find a job, both free (thank you meteor!). I can't even take credit for the bed offer because i can't fulfill now
I also understand the cynicism that has crept in boards, we've had alot of people who don't need anything other than attention to keep them happy.

But imagine, at 51, having nothing. my dad is not even 51 and he has a house, 2 cars, pensions coming in, a degree under his belt, SECURITY in his life. to think at 51, you have no idea where your next MEAL is coming from. Thats scary. Thats hard to come back from. I realise that people are gonna throw it back "how do you know it's true?!" but i'd rather be fooled after trying to help than see someone in that position I've ignored. I've been called naive and i've been called too trusting by many people, but at least everyone also calls me a good friend.

I don't mean to preach, and i'm sorry if i've come across like that but i had a re-read over this thread and in case people missed it, half the posts are bashing the OP. and rather worryingly they are giving out on my behalf which i def don't want. I'm not saying i don't appreciate it, and i'd like to add my thanks to all them too, but I'd rather they post something constructive to the OP than pointedly tell them to say thanks to me. I'm undoubtably making no friends with this post and probably pissing off alot of people who took a shine to me today but when i realised this, i had to say it. Boards, and in particular PI has done alot for me in the past, mainly the reason i post here now it to try and pay back what others did for me. The only reason i post here is to help, and i'd genuinely help ANYONE here who asked it of me. This mentality has been greeted with approval, suprise and shock in this thread but as far as i'm concerned, isn't that the point of PI?

Red

(if everyone hates me after this, sorry )

aislingm137

well Red, i just want to say i would help if i could but my situation is abit of a struggle but i am lucky not to be homeless and it depends on the situation of others because for some people its a struggle getting themselves by financially and in every other way. i think if anyone has abit of security in life and knew others who could help a person in need (to get them a jobor what ever) they they would reach out.

WindSock

I guess one of your hurdles at the moment OP are your pets. May I suggest you find a temporary shelter for them until you get yourself sorted out? Surely it cant be comfortable or healthy for you and them to be cramped up in a car together.

Marksie

WindSock wrote: »

I guess one of your hurdles at the moment OP are your pets. May I suggest you find a temporary shelter for them until you get yourself sorted out? Surely it cant be comfortable or healthy for you and them to be cramped up in a car together.

That is a good point. Maybe if you look in some of the other forums, i am thinking animal and pets you will be able to find someone in your local area who can take them on a temporary basis. My initial thought is the spca, but there may be others

Suzi D

You put it much better than I can !

[But imagine, at 51, having nothing. my dad is not even 51 and he has a house, 2 cars, pensions coming in, a degree under his belt, SECURITY in his life. to think at 51, you have no idea where your next MEAL is coming from. Thats scary. Thats hard to come back from.] quote Red

Age is a big part of it.If I was in my 20's I'd be putting it down to experience but now it's crushing.

[I don't mean to preach, and i'm sorry if i've come across like that but i had a re-read over this thread and in case people missed it, half the posts are bashing the OP. and rather worryingly they are giving out on my behalf which i def don't want. I'm not saying i don't appreciate it, and i'd like to add my thanks to all them too, but I'd rather they post something constructive to the OP ]Quoting Red

I too was surprised at the high percentage of 'bashers'

Never mind though - getting annoyed with that is healthier than the weepy stuff I'm prone to right now.

Suzi D

WindSock wrote: »

I guess one of your hurdles at the moment OP are your pets. May I suggest you find a temporary shelter for them until you get yourself sorted out? Surely it cant be comfortable or healthy for you and them to be cramped up in a car together.

There's no such thing as a 'temporary shelter' other than boarding kennels.
The old bitch (neutered and no relation to the pups) has cancer and though she's not in any distress or discomfort now she hasn't got long to go.It would be much kinder to have her put down now than to put her through strange kennels - something which for obvious reasons I'm reluctant to do.

tbh

aww I hate myself for saying what I'm about to say, because I know that Reds intentions were nothing but the best, but I think this thread is a great example of good intentions potentially doing more harm than good. Red, I think what you did for the OP is commendable, and mate, I'm sincere when I say that I wish there were more people like you in the world.

but I have to say, I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea of "direct aid" arising out of threads like this. I'm just going to outline a couple of the reasons for that, and I'll shut my mouth after that.

Although the problem is presented as a simple one - "I've no money and no house" - ok, maybe simple isn't the best word - in my experience, things are often more complicated. To get into that situation (usually) means a series of events have happened that need to be addressed. When you make an offer like you made - and fair play again - you run the risk of simplifying the problem even more. For example - and no offence OP, I'm not talking about you here - if the OP had mental health issues for example, you are potentially exposing both yourself and them to a lot of harm. With no background knowledge of the OP, you don't really know the effect the offer will have - for example, it may put them in a position where they actually feel worse about their situation. They may not be in a position to take the job, and in this case, I feel the OP was frightened by the concept of going to live and work with strangers, and then bashed because she didn't say thanks. it's not about saying thanks it's about getting help.

finally, to summarise, again Red, I congratulate you on your attitude - your parents did a good job. I just think in cases like these it's better to direct the OP to the organisations that are available, who would have more training and experience dealing with situations like this.

sorry, it was just on my mind to say that.

AARRRGH

Suzi D wrote: »

There's no such thing as a 'temporary shelter' other than boarding kennels.
The old bitch (neutered and no relation to the pups) has cancer and though she's not in any distress or discomfort now she hasn't got long to go.It would be much kinder to have her put down now than to put her through strange kennels - something which for obvious reasons I'm reluctant to do.

You've knocked back every helpful suggestion with some sort of excuse.

Do you want to get out of your predicament or not?

tbh

see?

AARRRGH

I agree with your post above tbh.

I don't think we can help the OP.

tbh

I don't think she's beyond help, but I don't think it's appropriate to try and offer direct help n this way, thats all.

AARRRGH

I agree.

RedXIV

well thats depressing

AARRRGH

She does appear to be knocking back people's suggestions.

Does she really want to be helped? Or does she just want to rant?

I don't know.

This will sound terrible, and I am really sorry for saying it, but to be in her situation at 51, you have to have a history of making a lot of really bad decisions.

tbh

dublindude wrote: »

you have to have a history of making a lot of really bad decisions.

or a reason.

WindSock

dublindude wrote: »

Does she really want to be helped? Or does she just want to rant?

Well I guess that's the thing. She han't come on here asking for or expecting any help. She may not even be used to getting help at all. We don't really know anything about her so who are we to judge? She may not even be eligable to work here.
If it's just listening to she wants or needs then she would be better off calling the Samaritans, as previously suggested. This forum is more about people giving their advice, rather than listening (which is hard to do via text)

speaktofrank

If I was in your position OP I would put the old dog to sleep and give the other two away to good homes. At the risk of sounding harsh you have more important things to be worried about.