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My Friend :)

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  • 11-05-2008 1:46am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey all.

    I'm a gay 18 year old fella. Wow it feels weird typing it down.

    Anywho, I have a feeling that this is going to be a long winded post about nothing in particular but how and ever, I shall continue.

    I came out to my close circle of all male friends a little more than a year ago now. All took it amazingly well and one of my best friends just hugged me and said it didn't matter. Let's call him Tom. My other said that he was Bi in response which was cool too. And then the other two didn't really care. (In the caring sort of way. Not in a way that changes anything :))

    Tom, would be one of my best friends. I have been in college now this year and rarely got home to see him. He's been at home, going to college next year. So over the Summer I hope to see him to make up for when he disappears to college elsewhere. Hrm.... from re reading that I'm shue it's obvious what I think of Tom. I fancy him. Lots.

    The thing is though, he's straight. I told him ages ago that I fancied him as it came up for one reason of an other. And then I told him that I USED to like him, but really I was just lieing to myself. I just told him there a few days ago that I like him and have never stopped liking him.

    Now, that night, I was staying at another friends house and Tom was there too. We were all in the same bed and Tom allowed me to put my arm around him but that was it. (I can't compain really! :P) and that was cool.

    Next day I apologised incase I was just a tool for hugging him, and so I'd know not to do it again. He said that the only thing that is annoying is the fact that I was apologising for it. There was no need, he thought. :)

    Arg. He's one of the coolest guys ever, and I know that nothing will ever happen like, but I can't help but like like him. I'm only young and he is the only guy I've ever fancied, but I've fancied him for about 2 years now at this stage.

    I'm presuming that this is normal enough behavior ie.For someone to fancy one of their friends.

    Meh, I dunno. I don't really have anything else to say. This is more like a blog post than anything. Ah! I suppose you could call it my coming out on Boards too! :)

    Comments?


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    #2
    Marshy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭Marshy


    Yeah I think its quite common for people to fancy their friends like in your situation. Its difficult of course because they may not feel the same way. The good thing is that your friend sounds like he's comfortable with the way you are.

    I see 2 options here:
    (1) Accept he'll be a good friend of yours but probably just that.

    (2) Get him drunk ;)


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Marshy wrote: »
    (1) Accept he'll be a good friend of yours but probably just that.

    (2) Get him drunk ;)

    I might take a little from column a) and a little from column b) :)

    Yeah, it just sucks but even if nothing ever happens (it won't) I still have a really good friend at the end of the day.

    However, I think that I'm a closer friend to him that he is to me. He has another circle of friends aswell and he's going to college with them next year.

    Ah well, that's life.


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    #4
    cotwold
    Registered Users Posts: 950 ✭✭✭cotwold


    Marshy wrote: »
    (2) Get him drunk ;)

    We tried that in poland and it didn't work marshy. ;)


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    #5
    tin_can_ted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 49 ✭tin_can_ted


    It all depends on the guy ;)


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    #6
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,188 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    Tom sounds like a nice guy and secure enough in himself to not freak when he knows you fancy him like mad. It's not a secret that you do, in fact when an 18 year old fancies someone, the only one who thinks no-one knows about it is usually the 18 year old.

    But Tom's not gay OP, he's your good friend and from the sounds of it a better friend than many young gay people have. It's not likely to go anywhere and if you keep on at him, you'll run the risk of driving him away. He's right by the way about not apologising for hugging.

    Some day soon you'll find yourself a guy who feels for you what you feel for Tom and the best of luck with it. One day when you're as old as I am, you will cringe at some of the things you are saying and doing now - we all did them.:)


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    #7
    tin_can_ted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 49 ✭tin_can_ted


    spurious wrote: »
    It's not likely to go anywhere and if you keep on at him, you'll run the risk of driving him away.

    Very true, and that's the last thing that I want to happen.
    spurious wrote: »

    Some day soon you'll find yourself a guy who feels for you what you feel for Tom and the best of luck with it.

    Hopefully. But until that time,it's quite tough...


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    #8
    Marshy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭Marshy


    cotwold wrote: »
    We tried that in poland and it didn't work marshy. ;)
    Really, did it not?


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