he has a new gf

do you love it?

smellybiker wrote: »

my ex has done this a few times and if you don't cut contact, it will happen you again and again.

when my ex did it, i thought it was to hurt me and get me back but now, looking back, i don't think that was the case. he was confused - he loved me and wanted me back - the intimacy, the loss of lonelieness, the familiarity. however, the arguments stuck in his head, the constant fighting and it was these that won through in the end and made the decision not to take me back. i think your guy is having the same confusion. although he is with other girls, yeah it's nasty but his thinking is why not have a bit of fun while he makes his mind up about you.

i hung out waiting by the fon for my bf to make a decision - i'm not sure how much time i wasted - but it was alot more than i should have spent over one guy...my advice is to move on with your life. don't get sucked into his indecisiveness - give him an ultimatum - if you want me, take me now, if not, don't contact me again!! it'll be the hardest text you can send - to tell him never to contact you again - and you'll cry alot when sending it - but you need to do it - for yourself!!!

Thats very good advice!

Ciara2008

In a similar situation myself - broke up a few months ago - i'm staying friends with him as I'm hoping we might get back together but I'm absolutley terrified he'll meet someone else as I just don't want to know.

Chances are though that the severity of their relationship - making plans to go on holiday etc. are just his reaction to missing being in a relationshiop with you so much.

After 4 years he's bound to be subconciously comparing you to his new girlfriend all the time, maybe he'll realise what he's lost?!

Besides alll that though you should try move on regardless, even if he does come back he shouldn't be feeling he can have you at the drop of a hat
x

chuci

op i feel for you i really do.there really is nothing worse than seeing an ex with a new person especially since this a-hole is rubbing it in youre face. but she is his rebound and it probably wont last and be over as quickly as it begun. as for you move on delete his number and email all that, harder than it sounds i know but you need to do it for yourself.

Unregaccount

What a bastard... im so sorry for you.

x x x

1408

OP take comfort in the knowledge she's prob a skank who gave him genital warts

anonymous_joe

I know how much it hurts. Not much comfort, but I really do empathise...

LegacyUser

HEARTBROKEN:( wrote: »

I just found out my ex bf has a new gf, he told me himself. We broke up a few months ago and were together four years, we remained friends but i never got over him. He met a girl (he claims shes a friends sister) over the weekend and he is smitten, he wont shut up about her, hes given up smoking for her and she wants him to stop drinking and he is.

He is making plans with her and they are planning to go to asia next year on holidays, hes been with her 3 days.

Im heartbroken, he knows i still love him and he knows how hard it is for me to hear all this, he texts me all the time going on about how happy he is etc. I told him to stop that it was hurting me and he apoligised.

Then today i saw them together at the bank and i actually ran to a pub and got sick in the loo. Im in bits. I text him and told him i cnt know him anymore that it hurt way too much and i cant take it, and he didnt even answer me.

Im in bits here!!

Honestly, when i read that part it reminded me of a friend who did the same thing and that lasted pis all time. Oh yeah the whole honeymoon period part. She has him wrapped around her finger and will no doubt get very bored and quick. Don't you worry, time is what you need and like what other people said it's important to lose all contact with him. Believe me when say this, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Goodluck

smellybiker

it will get better - when i was in your position, i thought my world had ended, i really never believed that it would get better. but it has, just take each day as it comes - try and enjoy the happy times and grieve when you need to.

IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!

anonymous_joe

Yeah, that is true. Slowly and steadily it'll pick up. Just don;t give up.

Trinity

I honestly dont have time to read all the replies but honestly. CUt contact.

Everytime he does this to you it will be like breaking up all over again. I was only talking to my sister about this today, do people hold on as they are avoiding the inevitable heartache that is breaking up. You said yourself you are always fighting. Why go back? WHy hang on? Cos it hurts and it will hurt but you cant avoid it if you are not meant to be you will break up eventually, the hurt will come and you will cry and be angry and grieve but it will pass. This way is worse, you are not allowing yourself to get over it properly.

Cutting contact may not be as tough as it seems if you weigh up what you are feeling now. Personally i think hes talking ****e, i think he is an inconsiderate prick and he himself is showing this reluctance to let go if he feels the need to tell you his every move with this other girl.

It wont last, trust me, but even still you should not be hanging around waiting to see. You cant be friends not now, not until you have distanced yourself emotionally enough to say hey i am happy for you and mean it!!

Work on yourself now, fcuk him. Make yourself happy. Go out and meet someone else, even just make new friends. You need to allow yourself to grieve and how would he feel if you text him and said i met a great guy hes gorgeous and sooo nice!!

Hes not being fair although i doubt he is making holiday plans after 3 days. Did you hurt him in the past? Is he insecure himself?

truecrippler

I broke up with my ex 2 years ago and haven't seen her for 2 years also. I decided that I wanted some space and to get on with my life. So I did, took a year break after leaving Secondary School, got a job made loads of new friends, went socialising, got girls numbers and had great fun for that year. I'm still having fun and now have just finished my first year in College and have a potential new girlfriend from there. (We're working on it).

Last Monday week, my ex asked me by text if I would like to go to her birthday. I did, she has a new boyfriend and is happy. I was happy for her and knew we had gotten over each other. Now I see us as good friends now and there's nothing sexual between us anymore and a lot has been taken off both of our chests.

So basically, I recommend that you take time off and get on with your life. Meet new people, have fun etc.

I did, you can too . Good luck.

SarahSassy

HEARTBROKEN:( wrote: »

Thats not what happened, he contacted me and told me he thinks he wants me back and asked how i felt about him, i told him i still loved him and he said he needed to think.

Then nothing more was said about it and all of a sudden he has a few gf

He sounds like s selfish twat... He is playing you and possibly her.. I do think this is the way he has of telling you for once and all that he wont be getting back with you. Count your blessings as he sounds very manipulative and immature to be honest.

LegacyUser

Well it has been a week, and funnily enough its a lot better. I have decided to make a major change so ive been on a diet and lost 8 pounds so far, im saving to go away on holidays too, Things are going great so far. Ive seen him twice since the bank incident but heard nothing from him. Both times he saw me i was with my boss(Male) on lunch so he prob thinks its my new bf and for once i dont care

YAY!

do you love it?

awh that is brilliant!!!!well done you!!!!

smellybiker

there is no better satisfaction that when you're ex sees you with another man (innocent to you) but you can see the thoughts running through his head!!! ha, well done - you will have your down moments but for now, enjoy what you have!!

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies all ill keep you posted on if/when i see him again etc

LegacyUser

OMG he text me, i went out of my way to get a new number and he got it off a mate of mines phone and text me last night(well at 4am) saying just "HI"

What is he doing, im not over him yet he must know this how can he be so cruel to me! I know he was out all day yesterday cos of the munster game and hes a big munster fan so he must have been pissed. But WHY would he do it is he trying to hurt me?

I didnt get the message till i got up at 12 this morning and i didnt reply. I dont know what to do it still hurts. I wanted to text him and tell him to get lost but then that would be acknowleging the message.

Help!!!

smellybiker

okay having severe flashbacks of my ex - god it's exactly the same thing i went through!

i read too much into the texts when i got them even if they just said "hi" - i believed it was his way of wanting to come back into my life. so i would text back, the texts would go back and forth for a couple of days and then i would ask him something like "wana meet up" or "do you want to get back together" or "why did you text". and you can guarantee that every time i asked one of the above, he would go cold and the texting would stop. then after a few days, he would text again and say something like "you deserve better, i will always love you"

it messed with my head so much every time it happened and it happened too much for my liking. when i look back now, this is what i should have done and i think you should do the same.....

ring him, talk calmly so to get your point across! tell him that you changed your number for the very reason of being out of contact with him. the reason you cannot stay in contact is because you are hurting over the fact that he has a new girlfriend, you are hurting because you miss him and that you are now yet over him like he is over you. explain that you cannot stay friends as you believe that it will not help you move on. tell him you really need to move on but can only do this with no contact from him. ask him not to get in touch anymore as you need this time to yourself!!

it's gona be hard saying all this when your heart is saying otherwise but trust me, you're saving yourself alot of hurt and agony in the long run!

LegacyUser

Saw him again this morning- he lives in another town why the hell do i keep seeing him here. He was alone and im glad to say looks like hes put on about a stone in the v short time i last saw him

And im delighted i didnt answer the text, and i didnt agnoledge he was there, i just kept walking and chattn to my workmate

And im glad i did!

Jerk off!

astrofool

HEARTBROKEN:( wrote: »

OMG he text me, i went out of my way to get a new number and he got it off a mate of mines phone and text me last night(well at 4am) saying just "HI"

What is he doing, im not over him yet he must know this how can he be so cruel to me! I know he was out all day yesterday cos of the munster game and hes a big munster fan so he must have been pissed. But WHY would he do it is he trying to hurt me?

I didnt get the message till i got up at 12 this morning and i didnt reply. I dont know what to do it still hurts. I wanted to text him and tell him to get lost but then that would be acknowleging the message.

Help!!!

Don't reply, ring up your phone company and have his number blocked. Tell your friends you don't want him to have your number. I'd never give someone a phone number of someone else unless they had given permission.

illicit007

HEARTBROKEN:( wrote: »

Saw him again this morning- he lives in another town why the hell do i keep seeing him here. He was alone and im glad to say looks like hes put on about a stone in the v short time i last saw him

And im delighted i didnt answer the text, and i didnt agnoledge he was there, i just kept walking and chattn to my workmate

And im glad i did!

Jerk off!

Thats awesome dudette.
I think he could be wanting to know you still like him so he it strokes his own ego. He probably doesnt' want you to know that he wants to know that though. So hence it only came out when he was plastered at 4am. He probably smacked himself on the head when he remembered he sent it.
He probably doesnt' want to know if you like him because he actually fancies getting back with you.
As someone else said something new and shiny has come along and he's probably only using you as a fall back and an ego trip. He might even be getting a bit jealous because his ego trip is failing now that he's realising you are moving on and gaining interest from other males.
Some people are just right jocks and need to be avoided. Sure they're nice when they're being nice to you but you only realise what they're like when they leave you in the dirt.
You'll find someone better. Keep on with the diet and concentrating on yourself. And try to avoid him like the plague. If you need to tell him you dont ever wanna see his face again.

chuci

smelly biker i think you and me have the same ex:p

op just concentrate on yourself ha probably tried texting you old number a few times and got a shock when it failed to deliver or you didnt reply. so he went out of his way to get your new number so he could text you so you could reply and ye would both be back to square one. just concentrate on yourself and the diet and looking forward to your holidays. just put him in the past and keep him there. good luck.