Want girlfriend to lose weight

jeob

.

Puddleduck

jeob wrote: »

i am a decent man, i love my gf very much, and if most man were in my shoe they would solve this problem by cheating on there gf, i'm not like that at all

No men wouldnt, immature boys do. Im really thinking this is a troll

sharkie2008

i think getting a dog is a good idea as the walks would be good exercise for her. if she doesn't fancy the gym why don't you suggest the two of you taking up dance classes or something a bit more enticing? i wouldn't be happy if i was in your gf's situation but if its getting to you so much then i would suggest more tact if bringing it up in the future. also you may have to just face facts that perhaps she is happy with her body and does not feel the need to change herself, even for you.

jeob

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ztoical

jeob wrote: »

i am a decent man, i love my gf very much, and if most man were in my shoe they would solve this problem by cheating on there gf, i'm not like that at all

def starting to smell troll - most men would not do that. I hope all the nice lads of the ladies lounge will shout out and say so.

tribulus

sharkie2008 wrote: »

i think getting a dog is a good idea as the walks would be good exercise for her.

Wtf? Getting a dog shouldn't be done on a whim, especially as a means to lose weight. It's a big commitment and ideas like that are why so many dogs end up in shelters or dead.

Puddleduck

jeob wrote: »

well i realy hope ur "man" isn't an immature boy in disguise because a hell of a lot of them are

Troll. End of

A Primal Nut

Moonbaby wrote: »

No. The words you read obviously do not make inside your head in tact.

I said he should break up with her, because sexual chemistry is there or it isn't.
It isn't magically going to appear because she fits some physcial preferance he has.

Actually, for most fellas it probably would. I guess we're a shallow bunch haha.

Rowley Birkin QC

Lady baiting FTW.

Is a joint LL and BGRH thread merge possible?

jeob

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Jules

Ok guys the op is looking for advice, if you don't have some to give don't comment. If you find a particular post offensive, report it and we will look at it then. Yes it's probably not the best forum to start this thread in, but he has done so lets try and be a little constructive.

Dudess

Lux23 wrote: »

Just break up with her if you think shes not good enough for your exacting standards, she would be far happier with a decent man.

I think that's unfair. There's nothing to suggest the OP isn't a decent man. This culture of tiptoe-ing around female weight gain is not healthy.

ztoical

Dudess wrote: »

This culture of tiptoe-ing around female weight gain is not healthy.

but she hasn't gained weight - he is pretty clear in his first post that she is the same weight now as when they started dating 2 years ago.

Puddleduck

Dudess wrote: »

I think that's unfair. There's nothing to suggest the OP isn't a decent man. This culture of tiptoe-ing around female weight gain is not healthy.

This isnt tiptoeing around an issue, hes brought it up several times and shes having none of it, so his choices are either drop it and accept its who she is or find someone new.

Dudess

It still fits under the same umbrella as all the threads started by guys here who say they'd be more attracted to their girlfriends if they lost weight.

And while he may not be tiptoe-ing around it, he's being made to feel like an asshole for not doing so.

jeob

before i leave i'd like to tell this story in a different way "i met this girl i like her but i didnt like that she smoked, because i liked her so much i over looked the fact that she smoked, now 2 years later we're still together in a loving relationship but to be honest i realy wish she would stop smoking"

if i had have joined this forum and told my story like that story u'd all be saying if "she realy love me she'll stop smoking" not "well she smoked when u met her, so deal with it"

smoking and her being over weight its the same thing



many thanks to those who tried to help me out


seeya

Abi

jeob wrote: »

before i leave i'd like to tell this story in a different way "i met this girl i like her but i didnt like that she smoked, because i liked her so much i over looked the fact that she smoked, now 2 years later we're still together in a loving relationship but to be honest i realy wish she would stop smoking"

if i had have joined this forum and told my story like that story u'd all be saying if "she realy love me she'll stop smoking" not "well she smoked when u met her, so deal with it"

smoking and her being over weight its the same thing

many thanks to those who tried to help me out

I've maintained from the start that I thought you meant well. Try not to take too many negative posts to heart, when you are trying to be genuine - these have a real effect on you. Walk away from it, take positives with you.

Its obvious you came for real advice, your posts are deleted because those who flamed stung you. I have a great solution to it I use if nessesary.

LOL
/Disconnect.

Puddleduck

I dont get how he was flamed, he got advice, he may not have liked it, and Id say the same for smoking, if you know what your getting into when it starts out then you cant turn round suddenly and demand she change. Its like if she had a preference for guys that are 7 foot tall, and starting pressuring you to stretch to see if you could grow, it just doent add up.

Abi

Puddleduck wrote: »

if you know what your getting into when it starts out then you cant turn round suddenly and demand she change..

Im pretty sure he didnt though. Think about it, of all places here.

Puddleduck wrote: »

Its like if she had a preference for guys that are 7 foot tall, and starting pressuring you to stretch to see if you could grow, it just doent add up.

I agree with you in theory, but weight is soooo tetchy for women. You have to admit that.

My own greatest fear is my OH's health. Not his appearance. I love his bit of belly, adds insulation in the winter! :pac: but what I do know is - its not healthy. Hes started coming out for a walk with me in the evenings and we get to have a rant about our day. I think by throwing helpful stuff in rather than fighting the guy, he might make some healthy choices for his lady.

Ive been much bigger than the OP's OH, but Im an 8 now. Its time we stop playing the victim card tbh. Not many women are going to agree with me. I get it, judging by the posts I've seen here. But it was a long journey for me, and I've seen both sides of the spectrum.

Puddleduck

Abigayle wrote: »

Im pretty sure he didnt though. Think about it, of all places here.


I agree with you in theory, but weight is soooo tetchy for women. You have to admit that.

My own greatest fear is my OH's health. Not his appearance. I love his bit of belly, adds insulation in the winter! :pac: but what I do know is - its not healthy. Hes started coming out for a walk with me in the evenings and we get to have a rant about our day. I think by throwing helpful stuff in rather than fighting the guy, he might make some healthy choices for his lady.

Ive been much bigger than the OP's OH, but Im an 8 now. Its time we stop playing the victim card tbh. Not many women are going to agree with me. I get it, judging by the posts I've seen here. But it was a long journey for me, and I've seen both sides of the spectrum.

I meant that he knew what he was getting into with his gf sizewise, sorry.

Yea, you lost weight, and fair play.Yes I agree that weight is a touchy subject, but I disagree thats its just a touchy subject with just women, men are the same. You lost weight, Im guessing, for yourself, not for your other half. The OP is asking his girlfriend to do something she dosent want to just for the sake of making him happy. You should expect your other half to accept you for who you are, and how you look, if not then theyre not for you.

Smellyirishman

Smellyirishman wrote: »

Eh.... what?

So if I find a girl of size 8 physically attractive and then she ballons to a size 24, I'll still find her attractive?

Maybe Predhead has a point when he says that it is a difference between the sexes.
But I have been madly,blindly, head over heels in animal lust. While Size isn't an issue for me. It has happened than object of my affection has been struck by the baldness. Which is.
And honestly it didn't impact my hormone driven insanity a bit.
It just seems to me that a physical attraction based on a preferance for a certain look, has more to do with ego instead of lust.

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

It still fits under the same umbrella as all the threads started by guys here who say they'd be more attracted to their girlfriends if they lost weight.

And while he may not be tiptoe-ing around it, he's being made to feel like an asshole for not doing so.

No I don't think it does.
Someone who carries on a 2 year relationship and charade with someone who he is not physically attracted to.
Is an arsehole well intentioned or not.

How would you feel if your OH told you he never fancied you?

I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone who felt like that.

Abi

Puddleduck wrote: »

The OP is asking his girlfriend to do something she dosent want to just for the sake of making him happy. You should expect your other half to accept you for who you are, and how you look, if not then theyre not for you.

This I agree with, and I did do it for myself. But Id like to point out that I was never brought up in a way that I knew to make time for keeping fit. It is a way of life. You eat healthy, you work-out, you maintain a healthy body and weight. It seems that the OP's g/f is not active and clearly is of the same line of thinking a lot of women are brought up with. Because the OP is that way, he keeps coming across wrong to both his OH and this thread. I think this frustrates him. I cant explain it right, nor without being shot down for it, but I dont think he means the worst is all.

Dudess

Moonbaby wrote: »

Someone who carries on a 2 year relationship and charade with someone who he is not physically attracted to.
Is an arsehole well intentioned or not.

How would you feel if your OH told you he never fancied you?

I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone who felt like that.

You're oversimplifying things - if the OP didn't fancy her he'd hardly be with her for two years. He fancied other stuff about her, that's why he struck up a relationship with her.

Whenever a thread like this is started, there are always posters who treat the OP as if he's on a par with the guy in question in the following thread: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055269539

There's a major difference and I wish people would differentiate.

Puddleduck

Abigayle wrote: »

This I agree with, and I did do it for myself. But Id like to point out that I was never brought up in a way that I knew to make time for keeping fit. It is a way of life. You eat healthy, you work-out, you maintain a healthy body and weight. It seems that the OP's g/f is not active and clearly is of the same line of thinking a lot of women are brought up with. Because the OP is that way, he keeps coming across wrong to both his OH and this thread. I think this frustrates him. I cant explain it right, nor without being shot down for it, but I dont think he means the worst is all.

I can see where your coming from, but the OP wants his girlfriend to lose weight so she is more attractive to him, not so she is healthier. Tbh I think the health issue here is a load of BS. The OPs girlfriend dosent sound obese, I dont think it was stated if she was active or not. Without seeing the OPs girlfriend I cant tell whether she is a healthy size or not, but a size 14 isn't going to cause health concerns.

Im not sure what you meant by '. It seems that the OP's g/f is not active and clearly is of the same line of thinking a lot of women are brought up with.'

ztoical

Abigayle wrote: »

This I agree with, and I did do it for myself. But Id like to point out that I was never brought up in a way that I knew to make time for keeping fit. It is a way of life. You eat healthy, you work-out, you maintain a healthy body and weight. It seems that the OP's g/f is not active and clearly is of the same line of thinking a lot of women are brought up with. Because the OP is that way, he keeps coming across wrong to both his OH and this thread. I think this frustrates him. I cant explain it right, nor without being shot down for it, but I dont think he means the worst is all.

we only have the OP's posts to go on and honestly someone saying they meet someone who was a size 14 and that person is still a size 14 I don't see how the implies that she has a weight issue. If she had gained weight or her weight yoyo'd up and down over the two years they've been together then maybe but someone maintaining their weight isn't setting major alarm bells going off for me. And the OP never once mentioned concern for her health but just that he needed her slim so she would be attractive to him.

But honestly its wandering off topic and there are enough threads about weight issues on this forum and on others. The OP asked for advice, he wasn't happy with the advice from some, tough I say, post in PI next time. I'm not sure what answer he was expecting from people. He's buggered off so why continue?

Smellyirishman

Moonbaby wrote: »

But I have been madly,blindly, head over heels in animal lust. While Size isn't an issue for me. It has happened than object of my affection has been struck by the baldness. Which is.
And honestly it didn't impact my hormone driven insanity a bit.
It just seems to me that a physical attraction based on a preferance for a certain look, has more to do with ego instead of lust.

OK, I see where you're coming from. I think it's an issue on a different scale though and that it's not at all unreasonable for the OP to discuss with his GF that he is falling out of attraction with her and then deciding what to make of her stance. If your object of affection went bald and it did effect you, would you think it's acceptable to discuss with him the possibility of a toupee/implants? (Donald Trump lookalike aside)

Abi

ztoical wrote: »

And the OP never once mentioned concern for her health but just that he needed her slim so she would be attractive to him.

Yay and nay tbh. I brought up the subject of health, because as he is quite active himself he could get her to par-take in his interests and in turn keep her fit.

ztoical wrote: »

But honestly its wandering off topic and there are enough threads about weight issues on this forum and on others.

+1

ztoical wrote: »

The OP asked for advice, he wasn't happy with the advice from some

As do most, but some blithely come in expecting nearly a round of applause aswell as supportive advice.

It seems that the OP's g/f is not active
.. same line of thinking a lot of women are brought up with.'

Because its a natural thing to him, he has started to wonder why it doesnt really matter so much to her. Once you get beyond the initial attraction, the honeymoon period etc peoples real habits set into place. It was never initially an issue for him, but curiosity killed the cat. And he cat got singed here tbh.

Im more impressed that he didnt judge her straight away, thats what most women claim.

Sangre

If she hasn't actually gained weight then I'd leave her. Hardly fair to ask someone to change the way they've been for years and to hurt their confidence and feelings in the process.

I'd also be skeptical that you'd become unattracted to someone who hasn't actually changed during the relationship. I suspect this might be part of a wider picture either of yourself or of the relationship.

Abi

Sangre wrote: »

I suspect this might be part of a wider picture either of yourself or of the relationship.

Key point perhaps.

I just dont think its as cut and dry as "yer a bastárd for goin' off her like that". Maybe there is more to it than they OP realises yet.

A lot of maybes, but only he knows.

/Exit.