What's the worst 'sickie' you've heard of/tried to pass off?

Xavi6

Inspired by this -

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=563822

Woman 'faked cancer to avoid work'

A US social worker allegedly faked brain cancer to avoid working and received over $22,000 worth of paid leave.

Sandra Dee Martinez, 40, gave fake doctor's letters stating she had malignant brain tumours and took advantage of sick days donated by co-workers last year, local station KOMO TV reports.

Prosecutors said the woman was caught after her Washington neighbour found a fake doctor's letter that Martinez had left on her printer.

"We would pretty much feed her every day because she was too sick to cook," Peggy Townsell, who lived next door to Martinez, said.

"It's what God would have wanted us to do … help somebody if they need help."

Department of Social and Health Services administrator Randy Hart, who was Martinez's employer, said the social worker had not been employed long enough to accumulate enough leave.

"If this is true, then this will make a lot of people feel bad that their generosity was taken advantage of," he said.

Ms Townsell said she found what appeared to be a doctor's letter that said Martinez "may only have six months to live".

"If it wouldn't have been printed up on my computer by accident, I would have thought it was for real," she said.

"The way she had it typed up, she had the heading from the hospital, she had the doctor's name, the doctor's ID, everything on there."

Police chief John Gray said Martinez had moved to another state and refuses to cooperate with investigators.

"The taxpayers — are out their money, and this is unspeakable," he said.

I've used the 'My granny's dying' once or twice I have to admit. I believe it's now called 'The Stephen Ireland'.

So what excuse have you used/heard used?

admiralofthefleet

dont get me started, i have being employing staff since i was 20 and the stories i have heard could keep you here for weeks

Dont be at yourself

I was working in Japan once, and pulled a sickie. I figured I'd pop down to the hospital to get a doctor's note. Went down, saw the GP, complained of a dodgy stomach, expected to pay the money, get the doctor's note and feck off home to sleep.

Instead, they brought me into another room, put me in a bed and stuck a drip in my arm!

monkeyfudge

It always moves me how so many Irish people are so close to their dozens of aunts and uncles who die unexpectedly.

Sofaspud

A few months ago I was "seeing" a girl from work, who happened to live with one of the supervisors from the same place.

One night I was in town and met up with her, got home to her place at about 5 AM, stonking drunk, with her shouting my name and "I hope you're going to work tomorrow" because he was awake in his room which is right beside the front door of the house(he actually saw me coming into the house).

The next morning I obviously thought staying in bed with her for the whole day was a much better idea than going into work. Three guesses who answered the phone when I called in sick. The conversation went like this:

Him: Hello, (name) speaking

Me: Er, Hello, I won't be in today, I'm not feeling the best!

Him: Are you sure?

Me: Er, yes, I've been sick all weekend.

Later on someone else called me to say "it was made apparent that I was out the night before, so if I didn't come in I'd have a corrective action made against me!"

That was not a fun hungover day at work!

Beelzebub

Needless to say it didn't work.

Deliverance XXV

Yeah, there is a lad where I work, whose grandfather has died about five times...

Sherifu

King Nothing wrote: »

Yeah, there is a lad where I work, whose grandfather has died about five times...

Could be a case of Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy-Snooze.

Pighead

Pighead was down in Limerick on a wild weekend of fun and frolics a few years back and had to do the whole ringing in sick thing on the Monday having drunkenly missed the last train home on Sunday evening.

Anyway arrived at the train station on the Monday to ring the boss and inform him of my sickness. Went into the jacks to make the call as it was quieter in there.

Pighead: Cough cough, Morning boss, just ringing to let you know that Pighead won't be in today. Have picked up the mother of all chest infections and feel it would probably be best to stay in bed for the day.

Boss: Ah yeah, thats probably the best thing to do alright. Hope you get better soon Pighead, you know how we struggle in here without you. You're the heartbeat of this company you know.

Pighead: Thanks for the kind words boss. Will make a concerted effort to return tomorrow. God willing it'll have cleared up

Train Station Tannoy Announcer: The next train approaching platform 2 is the Limerick to Dublin train. All aboard

Boss: You're not in your bed are you Pighead? And whats more I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you're not sick.

At this point Pighead, realising he had been rumbled, hung up the phone and had a wee cry. Nothing worse than getting rumbled.

Femelade

this really isnt the "worst" its just plain stupid.. They were on about this on my local radio station last week.
one guy rang saying he had this guy working for him, who said he had to leave for about an huor one morning to get his passport. He was gone hours, so he rang him to see where he was, he told him that when he went to get his passport, the woman wouldnt give it to him, because he was wearing a different jumper than the one he was wearing in the picture, so he had to go home and change which was a bit of a journey. He said he just didnt know what to say to him and was trying to hold back the laughter when he finally got back..

DarkJager

I worked with a guy once who pulled a sickie cause he'd "broken both his legs cycling down a mountain track". He must have some supernatural healing abilities, cause he was seen the same night dancing like a lunatic in a club!!

subway

Beelzebub wrote: »

I've a pain in my bollox and I don't want to come in today , Needless to say it didn't work.

worked for me -
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055022197

i wasnt lying though

kizzyr

monkeyfudge wrote: »

It always moves me how so many Irish people are so close to their dozens of aunts and uncles who die unexpectedly.

Shocking isn't it? I have a granny who has come back from the dead a few times only to get really really sick and die again.

helimachoptor

NekkidBibleMan wrote: »

I was working in Japan once, and pulled a sickie. I figured I'd pop down to the hospital to get a doctor's note. Went down, saw the GP, complained of a dodgy stomach, expected to pay the money, get the doctor's note and feck off home to sleep.

Instead, they brought me into another room, put me in a bed and stuck a drip in my arm!

Thats a great excuse.. Sorry I couldnt make it to work today.. I was in hospital getting tested for... Legionairres disease!

helimachoptor

An old boss of mine, once rang in sick and said he was bed ridden and wouldnt be in for a week... His boss had that week booked off... They met in lanzarote:D

Nearly pissed myself when I heard

Captain Darling

Worker: Cant come in today. Too sick.
Boss: How sick are you?
Worker: I'm so sick, i'm in bed with my sister.

newname

I had quite a few, missed half of all mondays in 2003 at work - I had someone ring in to say i was taken to hospital with appendicitis’s and the boss rang my mother to see how i was!! - called work to say our house had been burgled and were waiting on the guards to come to take a statement - rang in one monday morning to say I was stuck in galway and wouldn't make it home in time for work (my donegal landline showed up on the bosses phone as I rang)!! needless to say i dont work in that place anymore.

Gone West

Good work if you can get it!
pwned.


I had a teacher years back in secondary school.
Every year or two he would take a break from school to go to his mothers funeral. This was a week or two off.
I told my old man about it and laughed so much.
Apparently the same teacher has taught him in school and had pulled the same excuse 25 years ago more than once

chopperbyrne

I've called in drunk once.

"I'm not going to be in today, I'm still drunk!"

My boss just laughed and told me to go to bed.

There was one girl i worked with didnt come in because she had chapped lips .

She actually got an award at the end of the year for worst excuse .

jester77

I fell out of a pub in the south of France early on a Monday morning after an all night lock-in a few years ago. I was supposed to be back in Ireland heading into work about that time but things got a little out of hand! So I decided to ring in sick. I reached the answering machine and left a message... or so I thought. Found out a few days later that I was actually talking to the sectary At least she was cool about it and covered for me!