Use a footballer to describe yourself in the sack

Xavi6

Saw this on another forum and was pissing myself for ages. Here's some to get you started -

Maradona - One of the best ever and legend. Flair, skill and still efficient. Always delivers.

Stevie Ireland - Hairs a bit of a mess to be honest, when he's on form he can be one of the best, but sometimes just can't be arsed.

Harry Kewell - absolutely brilliant in his prime, but not played for quite a while and really struggling for form. Talks a good game about getting back to where he was but not really putting the effort in.

Geovanni - very rarely gets a run, but when he does the place goes nuts.

and my favourite......

Terry Butcher - solid performances in the box, not rattled by the sight of blood.

IrishMike

Terry butcher is quality

iregk

That Terry Butcher one is pure gold...

Xavi6

My own personal one would be -

Manchester City - Starts off on fire but fails to deliver late on, leaving those present unfulfilled. Has no issues progressing via the back door system.

IrishMike

Robbie Savage - Likes to throw himself headlong into a situation with
lots of hustle, bustle and commitment but is ultimately found out due to lack
of skill, technique and ability. Is for the most part oblivious to this due to
boundless confidence which is completely misguided. Is better off sticking to
the lower leagues.


I know im going to regret posting that :D

Dun laoire

Andriy Voronin - Absolutely terrible

One Cold Hand

Ashley Young: Proof that size doesn't matter. All that matters is the quality of the delivery into the box.

MBC

Theo Walcott absolutely lighting quick........blink and you'll miss it, still only a nipper........but soon will be a superstar;)

Peyton Manning

Liverpool - Im always finished with nothing left to offer before everyone else is.

Chelsea - I pay quite a lot for success.

allybhoy

McGeady(last year): Always fiddling up and down but never seems to know where the box is

Bubs101

World XI - Rarely get the chance to perform but when they do it's pure class

Chardee MacDennis

ARGENTINA - There'll be a few flashy moves but at the end of the day only bruises and disappointment

SUNDERLAND - afterwards it feels like you've had a train run on you....

MementoMori

C Ronaldo - Highly rated prima dona, critised early in his career as a show pony but has honed his tecnhniques lately and has been in devasting form anytime he gets near the box. Has a bit of a reputation as a bit of a diver with a tendency to go down easily sometimes. There has also been accusations about him not performing on the big occasions in front of large crowds.

Dave!

Wayne Rooney: An ugly c*nt who sometimes struggles in front of the goal, but who always gives 110%.

dc69

DaveMcG wrote: »

Wayne Rooney: An ugly c*nt who sometimes struggles in front of the goal, but who always gives 110%.

If he gets any.:D

ibh

Jamie Carragher

More perspiration than inspiration. Not afraid to roll up the sleeves and get stuck in... Gives 100% everytime although will not gain many marks for technical ability.

Xavi6

ibh wrote: »

Jamie Carragher

More perspiration than inspiration. Not afraid to roll up the sleeves and get stuck in... Gives 100% everytime although will not gain many marks for technical ability.

I think you'll find Jamie never rolls up his sleeves for fear of everyone seeing his Everton tattoos.

ibh

Xavi6 wrote: »

I think you'll find Jamie never rolls up his sleeves for fear of everyone seeing his Everton tattoos.

I was waiting to see how long it would take for someone to say "he never rolls up his sleeves"!!! Super fast Xavi...

Dont be at yourself

Riise: Huge red head. Stuck it in the wrong end and it all ended too early for everyone.

Dave!

Andriy Voronin: Porn star-looking sum'b*tch

jester77

Eboue: Loves to go down

eddiehead

Celtic - Performs well at home. Not very impressive against real opposition:D

I-Bleed-White

Matt Le Tissier - Bags of skill, immense awareness just doesn't like to move around too much, loves to shoot from outside the box.

Chardee MacDennis

Xavi6 wrote: »

I think you'll find Jamie never rolls up his sleeves for fear of everyone seeing his Everton tattoos.

http://www.uefa.com/competitions/ucl/talkfootball/chat/newsid=419198.html wrote:

TomBingham: Hi Jamie mate. I'm a massive Liverpool fan but i know that as a kid you supported Everton. Right now do you still have love for Everton as you did when you were young?
Jamie Carragher: No at the moment that's well gone and I do not have an Everton tattoo.

:cool:

Crapjob Sean

Nicolas Anelka - Seen at all the best clubs, scores effortlessly and a huge dick by all accounts.

Roar

Joey Barton

Small, but packs a punch..

redzerdrog

winston bogarde- an expensive flop

_blank_

Paul Jewell.

'nuff said.

_blank_

Franny Jeffers

A fox in the box.

Anderson-son-son

Class with the brass.

stooge

Ryan Giggs - Exceptional talent years ago but spark is fading lately. Still able to produce the goods on the big occassions. Loyal to one team now but has been known in the past to play internationals abroad.

Paul McGrath - Plays much better when pished

_blank_

Jack Charlton

Fúck all foreplay, just go straight for the box.

Fratton Fred

David James

A very wise and safe performer in the box, used to be known as a bit of a fumbler, but now has a very steady pair of hands.

Needs a hair cut though.

judas101

SWP - dribbles enthusiastically but lacks the size to penetrate.

Zaph

DesF wrote: »

Jack Charlton

Fúck all foreplay, just go straight for the box.

So we've heard


Ronaldo - overweight and unfit, but still manages to score every now and then

Fratton Fred

DesF wrote: »

Jack Charlton

Fúck all foreplay, just go straight for the box.

Unlike his brother Bobby, who would shoot from anywhere