Communion Gift/Money Question

TequilaMockingBird

Hi all,

My daughter is making her Communion on Saturday, I'm just wondering about her school friends, as regards giving them a gift. She has two little friends I'd like to give a card and cash to, but what about all the other friends..? Is there a protocol here?! I was hoping parents who have done Communion before could let me know if this is done or not? (I'm hoping NOT!)

Thanks.

deisemum

My 2 have made their communion and the older one made his confirmation last Saturday. Even when schools have requested not to exchange cards at the church most parents have ignored it.

I was a bit worried when the older lad made his communion that I wouldn't leave out one of his friends so had a couple of spares just in case. €10 was the normal amount for friends. He got 1 card of €20 last Saturday.

TequilaMockingBird

Thanks deisemum, just what I needed to know!

Hotblack Desiato

FFS, another money racket!!!

RainyDay

Avoid the cash racket by giving them a small gift.

littlebitdull

ninja900 wrote: »

FFS, another money racket!!!

Why do you say that? If your child was attending a birthday party you would have no problem with presenting a gift. And as its a huge tradition here to give money for communions why mock it?

If you yourself were attending a celebration for someone would you feel that it was a rip off for you to bring a gift? Or even to bring a bottle of wine to a party? I would guess not.....

That said I would disagree with the pressure to give a certain amount. I can not see any reason why a card from one child to another in this situation - ie where you may feel it necessary to give to each child in the class - could not be a small token amount of money, say a two euro coin or at most a fiver.

I personally have no issue with marking special occasions, with gift giving - even with the general tradition of money giving for communions/confirmations etc. I don't like the pressure to give the "correct" amount of money.

Hotblack Desiato

littlebitdull wrote: »

Why do you say that? If your child was attending a birthday party you would have no problem with presenting a gift.

Not the same thing at all. All the kids are making their communion on the same day so why would Parent A give a tenner to Child B and Parent B give a tenner to Child A? It's just silly.

I do have to say though that birthdays are getting ridiculous as well. Parents are under pressure to organise a day out etc. for 30-odd kids. It only used to be the child's actual friends who got invited to anything, not every kid in class.

And as its a huge tradition here to give money for communions why mock it?

It's a (misguided in my view, but hell, I'm an atheist) tradition for family members to give money. It's NOT a tradition for parents to feel obliged to give money to their child's friends on their communion. The whole thing is run on greed (look at the clothes, etc.) and the fear of being 'shown up'. It's got nothing to do with what it's supposed to be about.

If you yourself were attending a celebration for someone would you feel that it was a rip off for you to bring a gift? Or even to bring a bottle of wine to a party? I would guess not.....

Don't put words in my mouth please. That's a ridiculous strawman argument irrelevant to what we're actually taking about.

littlebitdull

Just because there would appear to be a pressure to organise a day out for 30 odd kids, or pressure to give a certain amount of money for communion/confirmation/wedding... does not mean that you have to give in.

I would not attend a party/event without some small gift/bottle of wine/cake in my hand as a small thank you to the host.

Personally I dont see the big difference.

I too am an atheist and can see no problem in marking the communion of friends and family of ours. I would generally pop into Veritas and purchase a small token gift of a religous nature (which let me tell you goes down a bomb with the child ..!) but when put on the spot with a last minute invite I have no issue with popping a five or ten euro note into a card for the child.

Just as I would if stuck with a last minute birthday party invite from another child to one of mine.

I did not put words in your mouth....... I made a guess ... re-read my words before you misquote me.

Sam Kade

I was at a first communion a few years back. This girl getting her communion was opening her cards outside the church after the ceremony, as she was opening them she was counting the money and putting it in her bag. Her mother was taking the cards from her after the money was taken out and stuffing the cards in a bundle into her bag. All this after the teacher warning them in school not to open your cards near the church. Not very smart in front of the people that gave her the cards. If that doesn't make it look like a cash racket what does?

Pigletlover

I would just give a card and money to close friends, by giving it to all your child's friends you're putting other parents, as well as yourself under pressure. Have a couple of tenners at the ready on the day though in case you get any unexpected cards

TequilaMockingBird

Pigletlover wrote: »

I would just give a card and money to close friends, by giving it to all your child's friends you're putting other parents, as well as yourself under pressure. Have a couple of tenners at the ready on the day though in case you get any unexpected cards

Thats what I did on the day, just had 50 worth of tenners in my bag (and a couple of fivers for chancers!) and I didn't need to give any to any child. Any cards we got at the church were from family, which was a relief.

Thanks for the advice all.