How low will you go?

Wibbs

Galvasean wrote: »

TBH no it is not socially acceptable. Anyone who says such a thin is immediately branded as shallow.

Freudian slip there head.:D

On a side note; it's weird how being picky about physical attributes gets people flak, but the same isn't said for personality ones. ("Boo! You're prejudice against people who are grumpy/crazy, you'll never find a partner with an attitude like that!" :pac:)

Oh I for one do. Give me too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall too whatever, over crazy any day.

That's only partially true, most of the responses in the early stages of the thread took the OP's side. Heck the original post called short guys all sorts of horrible names such as 'hobbit' and 'smurf'. It's one thing to say they arent your thing, but anyone who goes any further is just being nasty. People wouldn't call a person with a weight problem 'whale' or 'elephant' (unless y'know they were mean pricks), yet calling a short person (who can't exactly change their plight) 'funny' names seems fair game.

True enough.

wasabi

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh I for one do. Give me too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall too whatever, over crazy any day.

They do have the one redeeming feature of usually being quite good in bed. Still, not worth it :pac:

I'm going to be controversial here and say that I actually like shortish men. I'm only about 5'2" or 5'3" or so myself and it's a right pain in the hole when you only come up to your partner's nipples. I've only ever once ended up with a guy close to my own height and it was excellent! Most Irish men are too feckin tall

RealEstateKing

I also like the idea of being protected by a man.

Isnt it interesting that if a bloke we're to express the corallary of this sentence, ("I like a woman to be weaker and smaller than me") he'd be branded a retrogressive sexist pig?

shellyboo

Galvasean wrote: »

TBH no it is not socially acceptable. Anyone who says such a thin is immediately branded as shallow.

Again, anyone who SAYS it is shallow, anyone who lives it is normal. That's my experience. It's completely and totally normal for a guy to exclude fat girls when looking for a gf - again, my own personal experience.

Galvasean wrote: »

As above I'd tend to disagree. Anyone, be they male or female, who blanket refuses to consider members of the opposite due to one physical feature (shortness, weight, etc.) tends to be labelled as shallow.
No that it's fair mind. As you said you can't help who you fancy so it's not their fault.

Oh, I agree with what you're saying here... what I'm saying is people are always leaping to defend guys in PI who say "I don't fancy my gf cos she got fat", going 'that's ok, you don't have to fancy her anymore'... but there's no-one coming on here saying it's alright for women not to be attracted to shorter guys. They're told "no wonder you can't find any nice men".

Galvasean wrote: »

That's only partially true, most of the responses in the early stages of the thread took the OP's side. Heck the original post called short guys all sorts of horrible names such as 'hobbit' and 'smurf'. It's one thing to say they arent your thing, but anyone who goes any further is just being nasty. People wouldn't call a person with a weight problem 'whale' or 'elephant' (unless y'know they were mean pricks), yet calling a short person (who can't exactly change their plight) 'funny' names seems fair game.

Yep, I see your point. But we're coming from the respective sides of the argument, I guess... if you say you're considered (at 5'8!) 'short', then you're more sensitive to that. I'm considered by anyone with eyes to be fat, so I'm more sensitive to attitudes towards me and my chubby ilk

masonman

shellyboo wrote: »

Again, anyone who SAYS it is shallow, anyone
who lives it is normal. That's my experience

This hardly justifies it.

Anyone who hides behind the thinking - "yeah well thats just the way it is"(My Words) - its a cop out. We have the ability to challenge our perspective. Its just easier not to.

shellyboo wrote: »

Oh, I agree with what you're saying here... what I'm saying is people are
always leaping to defend guys in PI who say "I don't fancy my gf cos she
got fat", going 'that's ok, you don't have to fancy her anymore'... but
there's no-one coming on here saying it's alright for women not to be
attracted to shorter guys. They're told "no wonder you can't find any
nice men".

Its like you are trying to justify a particular way of thinking with an
equally as bad way of thinking. The reason why I am leaning to the phrase "no wonder you
can't find any nice men" is not because you don't like small men per se
but the attitude that comes with it. If thats the way a person thinks it
reflects badly on them. The buck stops with them period. What sort of rewards do they expect from
relationships with thinking that way?

shellyboo wrote: »

Yep, I see your point. But we're coming from the respective sides of the
argument, I guess... if you say you're considered (at 5'8!) 'short', then
you're more sensitive to that. I'm considered by anyone with eyes to be
fat, so I'm more sensitive to attitudes towards me and my chubby ilk

The problem I have with this point, is that it implies both are right - This is a cop-out.
Absolutely you could be more sensitive to that. But what I'd be more
sensitive about is the fact that all other "good" attributes would be
null and void based on one "Bad" Attribute- I would have thought that
someone who describes themselves the way you do to be more open-minded to
this instead you are following the lowest common denominator approach and
justifying ignorance with ignorance.

shellyboo

masonman wrote: »

This hardly justifies it.

Anyone who hides behind the thinking - "yeah well thats just the way it is"(My Words) - its a cop out. We have the ability to challenge our perspective. Its just easier not to.

I completely agree.

masonman wrote: »

Its like you are trying to justify a particular way of thinking with an
equally as bad way of thinking. The reason why I am leaning to the phrase "no wonder you
can't find any nice men" is not because you don't like small men per se
but the attitude that comes with it. If thats the way a person thinks it
reflects badly on them. The buck stops with them period. What sort of rewards do they expect from
relationships with thinking that way?

I'm not trying to justify EITHER way of thinking!! I'm trying to put forward the FACT that some people aren't attracted to certain types of people at a base, chemistry level - I completely agree that the attitude of "I don't date x type of person with no exceptions" is effed up. However - sometimes people aren't attracted to other people who look a certain way. It's instinctive, it's not something you decide.

masonman wrote: »

The problem I have with this point, is that it implies both are right - This is a cop-out.
Absolutely you could be more sensitive to that. But what I'd be more
sensitive about is the fact that all other "good" attributes would be
null and void based on one "Bad" Attribute- I would have thought that
someone who describes themselves the way you do to be more open-minded to
this instead you are following the lowest common denominator approach and
justifying ignorance with ignorance.

I am extremely openminded, thanks I have absolutely no problem with dating shorter guys.

I'm not trying to justify the kind of attitude that says 'I don't date X type of person' - I'm merely pointing out that the men coming in here saying we're all going to die alone, eaten by alsatians a la Bridget Jones... some of those men MAY just be doing that same exact thing in relation to women. Maybe.

And I am saying that neither of those situations is ok on a conscious level... however, subconsciously, there's no way you can *make* someone fancy someone. It's just not possible.

Wibbs

masonman wrote: »

Anyone who hides behind the thinking - "yeah well thats just the way it is"(My Words) - its a cop out. We have the ability to challenge our perspective. Its just easier not to.

Yes and no. Yes we can change our perspective and certainly our interactions with others to avoid conflict or hurting someone, but what one is attracted to, while variable over time is for the most part clear cut. If one is not attracted to fat, short, skinny or whatever doesn't float your boat, well then that's it pretty much. It would be lovely if it wasn't like that, but to paraphrase your good self, that is just the way it is for the most part with some leeway. From my perspective, I know what I like and what I don't like in the physical. It's remained pretty consistent over time. I have tried to look beyond some of these in the past and it just didn't take. Simple as that. That's my choice and I'm sticking with it. What I wouldn't do however is impose my preference and choice on others. I realise they feel differently to me in their choices and bully for them. It doesn't effect me.

Its like you are trying to justify a particular way of thinking with an
equally as bad way of thinking. The reason why I am leaning to the phrase "no wonder you
can't find any nice men" is not because you don't like small men per se
but the attitude that comes with it. If thats the way a person thinks it
reflects badly on them. The buck stops with them period. What sort of rewards do they expect from
relationships with thinking that way?

Again great in theory and I agree completely with the buck stops with me(maybe in more ways though), but....... Look if I don't like short skinny women as an example, well I may meet a very nice short skinny woman, but if that instinctive attraction is not there for me, well then I move on. Relationships are hard enough without adding another complication into the mix. For both me and her. If I meet someone and they don't like some parameter of mine well again big deal. I suck it up and move on. Indeed I don't even have to suck it up, I just realise I don't do it for them. I do it for others so no big deal.

Life is short enough. I have needs, wants and preferences, just like everyone else, so I'll keep looking for those preferences until I meet someone who meets my criteria and I meet theirs. That might happen with the next woman or it might happen with the 20th down the line.

Simply put; to each their own.

GirlInterrupted

I'm starting to feel pretty lucky.

I don't have a type, I'm not into looks in a man, and I usually find that attraction grows. What attracts me is a sense of humour and a caring nature, those are the only two absolutes.

I feel lucky because it means I tend not to rule people out until I get to know them as people, and by the time I get to know the ones I like, they start to look pretty good to me because of it.

I don't really care if a man is bald, short, brown eyed, blue eyed, blond or black haired, if he's got his own teeth, is clean and can make me laugh, everything else is a bonus.

Latchy

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

I'm starting to feel pretty lucky.

I don't have a type, I'm not into looks in a man, and I usually find that attraction grows. What attracts me is a sense of humour and a caring nature, those are the only two absolutes.

I feel lucky because it means I tend not to rule people out until I get to know them as people, and by the time I get to know the ones I like, they start to look pretty good to me because of it.

I don't really care if a man is bald, short, brown eyed, blue eyed, blond or black haired, if he's got his own teeth, is clean and can make me laugh, everything else is a bonus.

Easy to see how many men would be attracted to you GI, and great company

Great discription of men in general

dlofnep

Woohoo!

I'm 5'4" and according to this thread, the most wanted man in Ireland!

Yes, that was sarcasm. And yes, I will be buying big shoes!

GirlInterrupted

latchyco wrote: »

Easy to see how many men would be attracted to you GI, and great company

Great discription of men in general

Gee, thanks!:)

Chucky the tree

I think everyone is entitled to choice who they can/cant go out with, but I'd still find it unlucky that OP would have the same attitude re: height if Tom Cruise in his younger years rolled up for a date.

Iago

shellyboo wrote: »

I'm not trying to justify the kind of attitude that says 'I don't date X type of person' - I'm merely pointing out that the men coming in here saying we're all going to die alone, eaten by alsatians a la Bridget Jones... some of those men MAY just be doing that same exact thing in relation to women. Maybe.

I don't consider myself short (5'7") and I've never really thought about it much. Having a thing for someones height or weight or anything else for that matter is a subject of personal choice and I don't think it makes anyone shallow. If on the other hand you find someone who is perfect for you in every other way and you still let them go because of that one thing, then that's pretty sad imo.

The problem with height and weight, over say bi-polar dysfunction, is that it's immediately obvious at first glance and therefore impacts your initial assesment of someone. So the initial attraction is flawed before you get a chance to find out how great someone is, and it's hard to come back from that. All of which is a symptom of societal retardation by the way, common courtesy no longer exists and most people are far more concerned with what others think if they were seen with someone than how that person makes them feel.

With weight there's the potential added complication of health issues that can't be ignored, but that would only apply to those excessively overweight rather than just carrrying an extra few pounds.

I had a conversation with an ex gf of mine the other day, we're still good friends. She reckons that mens attraction to her lasts "somewhere between 10 minutes and 2 hours" yes she's carrying a little extra weight, but she's also got deep sexy eyes, she's incredibly intelligent, sidesplittingly funny, very caring and the life and soul of a party. She has a hell of a lot more going for her as well, but because people see her weight first they never find that out, they've already filed her in the "friends" box.

I don't think that's necessarily shallow, but I do think it's a big loss on their part.

Latchy

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Gee, thanks!:)

Your welcome .Post of the day

shellyboo

Chucky the tree wrote: »

I think everyone is entitled to choice who they can/cant go out with, but I'd still find it unlucky that OP would have the same attitude re: height if Tom Cruise in his younger years rolled up for a date.

Vom. Not if you paid me, not even if he was 7'6. Just a WORLD of no.

Iago wrote: »

I don't consider myself short (5'7") and I've never really thought about it much. Having a thing for someones height or weight or anything else for that matter is a subject of personal choice and I don't think it makes anyone shallow. If on the other hand you find someone who is perfect for you in every other way and you still let them go because of that one thing, then that's pretty sad imo.

Very sad - and it tends to be about what other people would think and not a true decision based on what you personally want.

Iago wrote: »

With weight there's the potential added complication of health issues that can't be ignored, but that would only apply to those excessively overweight rather than just carrrying an extra few pounds.

Honestly? I think this is a pile of crap. Unless you've the whole course of your life mapped out, the thought process of eliminating a fat person as a partner is not going to include 'well down the line, if we stay together, and if we get married, then they might get diabetes or heart disease or have bad joints, so I'm not going to date them'.

I really hate smoking and am not keen on dating smokers, but that's because it smells and tastes nasty, not because they might get lung cancer.

Iago wrote: »

I had a conversation with an ex gf of mine the other day, we're still good friends. She reckons that mens attraction to her lasts "somewhere between 10 minutes and 2 hours" yes she's carrying a little extra weight, but she's also got deep sexy eyes, she's incredibly intelligent, sidesplittingly funny, very caring and the life and soul of a party. She has a hell of a lot more going for her as well, but because people see her weight first they never find that out, they've already filed her in the "friends" box.

I don't think that's necessarily shallow, but I do think it's a big loss on their part.

I agree with you totally here, this is an opinion I've long held myself. You're automatically eliminated by some men and treated as 'one of the lads'. There's nothing more soul-destroying, tbh. It's as if you're not a 'real' woman because you're fat - so it's ok to flirt and tease and make innuendos etc, cos they think you're 'safe'. Ugh.

I have now successfully managed to derail this thread entirely into my own personal agenda, lol.

Back on topic... so, short guys huh? They're hot. :pac:

Chucky the tree

shellyboo wrote: »

Vom. Not if you paid me, not even if he was 7'6. Just a WORLD of no.

I find it very suprising that you think his looks are vomit inducing tbh.

GirlInterrupted

Chucky the tree wrote: »

I find it very suprising that you think his looks are vomit inducing tbh.

There's actually something very insincere about Tom Cruise, I'm sure he's probably a lovely (apart from the Scientology) person, but he feels very one-dimensional and fake when he smiles. Good looks don't compensate for that.

He's actually the only person who's ever made me think that, too.

Malari

Chucky the tree wrote: »

I find it very suprising that you think his looks are vomit inducing tbh.

She's not the only one. Being short is but one of Tom Cruise's repellant qualities.

masonman

shellyboo wrote: »

I completely agree.

I'm not trying to justify EITHER way of thinking!! I'm trying to put forward the FACT that some people aren't attracted to certain types of people at a base, chemistry level .

Base Chemistry level, fact? Can o' worms springs to mind

shellyboo wrote: »

It's instinctive, it's not something you decide.

To a certain extent yes, but its instinctive to do a lot of things - but they don't always lead to where we really want to be.

shellyboo wrote: »

I'm not trying to justify the kind of attitude that says 'I don't date X type of person' - I'm merely pointing out that the men coming in here saying we're all going to die alone, eaten by alsatians a la Bridget Jones... some of those men MAY just be doing that same exact thing in relation to women. Maybe.

Maybe you're right. But its a tit for tat approach in my opinion that skims over the issue.

Chucky the tree

Your all judging him on his personaltiy though and not his looks/height. The OP or everyone else who said they wouldnt date someone doesnt know their personality. What about what you know of him know, pre-sciontology days if the Tom cruise of Top gun turned up on the date I wonder if his height would immediatly make it a no go. I doubt it personally.

masonman

Wibbs wrote: »

I realise they feel differently to me in their choices and bully for them. It doesn't effect me.

Maybe thats the difference

Malari

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Your all judging him on his personaltiy though and not his looks/height. The OP or everyone else who said they wouldnt date someone doesnt know their personality. What about what you know of him know, pre-sciontology days if the Tom cruise of Top gun turned up on the date I wonder if his height would immediatly make it a no go. I doubt it personally.

Why do you have such difficulty believing that a good-looking short man would not be attractive to some women? Have all the responses on this thread not given you any insight, or did you automatically assume that there was something else apart from height (or lack thereof) that made these short men unattractive?

masonman

shellyboo wrote: »

Back on topic... so, short guys huh? They're hot. :pac:

lol, air cleared

tipptipp

small jockey.... big whip:cool:

Chucky the tree

Malari wrote: »

Why do you have such difficulty believing that a good-looking short man would not be attractive to some women? Have all the responses on this thread not given you any insight, or did you automatically assume that there was something else apart from height (or lack thereof) that made these short men unattractive?

Well considering you felt the need to add in problems about Tom cruises personalties/lifestyle/whatever instead of just saying I dont find short-men attractive to answer the question it makes it a bit harder to believe that there isnt something else apart from height that makes short men unattractive.

Malari

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Well considering you felt the need to add in problems about Tom cruises personalties/lifestyle/whatever instead of just saying I dont find short-men attractive to answer the question it makes it a bit harder to believe that there isnt something else apart from height that makes short men unattractive.

I didn't. I only mentioned his height.

But now that you mention it, maybe there's also a chip on the shoulder about not being found attractive because of height and that gives off vibes. But I don't think that has a lot to do with it. I've seen guys sitting in bars, restaurants, buses, whatever and thought they were good-looking until I saw them standing and instantly lost interest if they are short.

Chucky the tree

Malari wrote: »

I didn't. I only mentioned his height.

But now that you mention it, maybe there's also a chip on the shoulder about not being found attractive because of height and that gives off vibes. But I don't think that has a lot to do with it. I've seen guys sitting in bars, restaurants, buses, whatever and thought they were good-looking until I saw them standing and instantly lost interest if they are short.

Didnt mean to add the "but" or didnt realise what it implied?

Malari wrote: »

She's not the only one. Being short is but one of Tom Cruise's repellant qualities.

GirlInterrupted

Malari wrote: »

Why do you have such difficulty believing that a good-looking short man would not be attractive to some women?

None of the reasons I find Tom Cruise unattractive have anything to do with his height.

I couldn't care less how tall or short he is actually.

shellyboo

Chucky the tree wrote: »

I find it very suprising that you think his looks are vomit inducing tbh.

Did I say anything about his looks? I just find him, as a concept, totally awful. His cheesiness and insincerity and general craziness. He's a good looking bloke - I still wouldn't.

masonman wrote: »

Base Chemistry level, fact? Can o' worms springs to mind

You absolutely can't control who you fancy. You can't manufacture sexual chemistry or attraction. If you can, I'd love to know how.

Yes, attraction can grow... but there has to be something to build on to begin with, something intangible that's not a conscious decision. Right?

masonman wrote: »

Maybe you're right. But its a tit for tat approach in my opinion that skims over the issue.

Ok, what is the issue? I'm not really sure what you're getting at! I shall address it in a non tit for tat manner.

Malari

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Didnt mean to add the "but" or didnt realise what it implied?

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

None of the reasons I find Tom Cruise unattractive have anything to do with his height.

I couldn't care less how tall or short he is actually.

OK, so Tom Cruise has a whole heap of things wrong with him. Agreed.

For me, the Numero Uno reason I don't find him attractive is his height. Cleared up?