How low will you go?

nomorebadtown

DamoElDiablo wrote:

It seems to come down to a combination of vanity and self confidence.

The more I read this forum, the more I come to the conclusion that the combination of these two factors is one of the major driving forces behind most of the things women do.

DamoElDiablo wrote:

It You ladies are always going on about how personality and sense of humour are the two most important things, yet here we get a thread where a girl went out on a date with a guy who (although being taller than her) was an inch shorter than her in her heels... so despite him being a nice guy, he automatically gets disregarded. To be honest, I'm completely disgusted by this and disappointed in so many of you!.

Agreed. At least men admit to being shallow. Personality and sense of humour my arse, the hypocrisy in here is suffocating.

farohar wrote: »

*suspects maybe the girls don't want to admit that they're hoping his body's length might be proportional to the length of something else...*:p
Afterall, we all know the big feet thing is a myth.

Yeah I thought of that too but when it comes down to averages, at least on a shorter guy, the equipment will always look proportionatly bigger. And as we know, asthetics are so much to do with proportions.

Earthhorse

DamoElDiablo wrote: »

You ladies are always going on about how personality and sense of humour are the two most important things, yet here we get a thread where a girl went out on a date with a guy who (although being taller than her) was an inch shorter than her in her heels... so despite him being a nice guy, he automatically gets disregarded. To be honest, I'm completely disgusted by this and disappointed in so many of you!

Wow. Thanks for posting that. I thought I was biased being a short guy myself but obviously not. It's not that I don't understand physical preferences, I do. I have them myself, we all do. What I can't grasp is the laying down of an absolute - I would never go out with a guy shorter than me. Honestly, it's hard enough to meet someone in this life you connect with, why rule them out before you've even let them in?

Lockstep

I'm 183cm so it's nothing to do with smaller guys being biased.

Star Lord

I know what you mean Earthhorse. I'm the same, I can see that personal preferences are just that, personal preferences.

Why that is allowed to interfere with something that was looking promising, as the OP said they were getting along great, yet she let something as unimportant as the guys height get him an automatic disqualification.

It just comes across as petty, arrogant and reeks of both vanity and such a lack of self confidence that they are more worried about what other people will think of them when they see them with a shorter guy (even though the guy the OP was on the date with was taller than her).

Well, their loss I guess.

Abi

looptheloop wrote: »

It looked like they were going to get it on before he stood up. Didn't happen though.

Ah thats awful LTL

Reku

Earthhorse wrote: »

It's not that I don't understand physical preferences, I do. I have them myself, we all do. What I can't grasp is the laying down of an absolute - I would never go out with a guy shorter than me. Honestly, it's hard enough to meet someone in this life you connect with, why rule them out before you've even let them in?

Do we not all do that on some level though, e.g. as a heterosexual guy I would never go out with a guy regardless of how much we might seem to click. Don't think I could go out with a woman older than my mum, or a girl who's so young as to still be in secondary school, would just seem a bit weird to me. Morbid obesity would be another deal breaker for me, bit overweight: so what, a heartattack waiting to happen: no thanks.

People will always have some degree of shallowness when evaluating potential partners, as long as they are aware of them and don't delude themselves that they don't it's realy just another aspect of their own unique personality. It would be nice if we could train ourselves to be a bit flexible on all aspects by which we evaluate partners but it's not going to happen, just as we're not going to be similarly flexible as regards the aspects of whom we try to befriend and start viewing fish as potential friends we should give a chance.

Papillon87

Again, I'm 5 nothing, so "ruling out" someone smaller than me is unlikely to ever occur. I can't speak for everyone, just myself, when I say I am definitely not that shallow that I would rule out a relationship with someone because they didn't tick all my boxes of "the ideal" man appearance wise. My ex (and let's put aside all the acrimony and what an ass he has been since we split).....I got on brilliantly with, we had a laugh...........but initially, I was not attracted to him whatsoever, and his height wasn't really one of my major gripes.....sure he was still nearly a foot taller than me. He pushed to get together. I was in two minds because I thought "hmm, physical attraction really is quite important, right?" but I decided, hey, I really like him as a person. I actually grew to find him very attractive while I was with him. Hmm. Don't know what the actual purpose of this post was.........maybe just to say I never write anyone off

Black Swan

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I'm 5'5" and normally wear pretty high heels but now am very definite in that I don't find small men attractive. Would you date a guy who was your height or smaller?

I'm 5'10" and dated a shorter lad once. I wouldn't wear heels then. When his mates saw us together, they would joke with him about the difference, and he would reply, "MORE for me!" Everyone would laugh.

Earthhorse

farohar wrote: »

Do we not all do that on some level though, e.g. as a heterosexual guy I would never go out with a guy regardless of how much we might seem to click.

That's to do with your sexuality rather than a specific preference if you follow.

farohar wrote: »

Don't think I could go out with a woman older than my mum,

I don't think I could either but I wouldn't decide anything in advance.

farohar wrote: »

a girl who's so young as to still be in secondary school, would just seem a bit weird to me.

It would seem weird to me too and I honestly would have no interest in pursuing someone of that age but if I met them and clicked I wouldn't rule them out automatically.

farohar wrote: »

Morbid obesity would be another deal breaker for me, bit overweight: so what, a heartattack waiting to happen: no thanks.

Fair enough, and I think it would be a deal breaker for me too. I don't think I could have any wriggle room on that one.

But, honestly, I think you're reaching for pretty extreme examples here and aren't comparing like with like. On the issues of sex, age (far younger and older) and obesity, I think people are more likely to rule out on grounds of their sexuality, the difference in interests and where they are at life (where someone's much older), maturity (where someone's much younger) and health issues. All these are hopefully things they would arrive at after weighing up the whole of the person rather than just one part.

I mean, you specifally refer to morbid obesity, suggesting you'd still go out with someone overweight. It's a question of degree. I wouldn't have a problem with a woman meeting me and considering a height difference a factor, particularly where it was substantial. I do have a problem with it being, as Damon says, an "automatic disqualificiation".

Papillon87, my post wasn't directed at you in case you're thinking that. You gave the guy a chance despite a height difference. That's the important thing, in my opinion. To be open minded rather than flee at the first sign of any "imperfection".

Seraphina

i went out with a very cute short guy once. didn't have a problem with his height, he did Jiu Jitsu/MMA so he would have had the protective role down to a T (there was something oddly arousing about the way this short wiry guy who looked like a stiff breeze might knock him over, could overpower me)

sadly things just didn't click really, and when i explained after a few dates he got a bit bitter (short man syndrome, lol!), so i guess i was better off

Reku

Earthhorse wrote: »

Fair enough, and I think it would be a deal breaker for me too. I don't think I could have any wriggle room on that one.

But, honestly, I think you're reaching for pretty extreme examples here and aren't comparing like with like. On the issues of sex, age (far younger and older) and obesity, I think people are more likely to rule out on grounds of their sexuality, the difference in interests and where they are at life (where someone's much older), maturity (where someone's much younger) and health issues. All these are hopefully things they would arrive at after weighing up the whole of the person rather than just one part.

I mean, you specifally refer to morbid obesity, suggesting you'd still go out with someone overweight. It's a question of degree. I wouldn't have a problem with a woman meeting me and considering a height difference a factor, particularly where it was substantial. I do have a problem with it being, as Damon says, an "automatic disqualificiation".

But would the morbid obesity not be the same as with height in this thread:
healthy = great, overweight = ok, morbidly obese = no way
tall = great, same height = ok, shorter = no way
Seems to be the same sort of scale by degrees until it's a definite deal breaker to me.

missmatty

I'm five foot nothing and one of my exes was only about 5'3". Didn't bother me at the time and was not an issue.
Ideally, if I could choose, I'd like someone average height and not too tall or short. But meh...

Pigletlover

I have a friend who has a thing for short guys, I think the guy has to be like 5'5''/5'6'' for her to be interested in him. She's around 5'9'', so in heels she's about 6 foot! My boyfriend has a few inches on me, but in heels I'm slightly taller. I prefer for men to be taller, but I wouldn't not go out with someone just because they were a bit shorter than me.

Earthhorse

farohar wrote: »

But would the morbid obesity not be the same as with height in this thread:
healthy = great, overweight = ok, morbidly obese = no way
tall = great, same height = ok, shorter = no way
Seems to be the same sort of scale by degrees until it's a definite deal breaker to me.

No, I don't think so. I think morbidly obese is more akin to dwarfism (i.e. someone who is 4'10" or less). I think it's pretty rare and an extreme case, whereas we're talking about regular weight or height otherwise.

metaoblivia

I'm 5'7 and I wouldn't date a guy much shorter than that. I'm not attracted to short men. And this is coming from a gymnastics fanatic - I've seen and met plenty of short guys with great bodies, great skills, nice personalities. But there's just no attraction there. Is it shallow? Definitely. But I'm not going to make any apologies for it. I accepted a long time ago that some guys wouldn't like me because I have dark hair, or because my chest isn't super big, or because my legs aren't long enough, or because I'm too skinny, or because I'm too fat, or because I have freckles - it doesn't offend me, tbh. Everyone has their preferences, and I'm not going to lie about mine just to avoid being labeled as shallow.
And if a short guy gets offended by this, no worries - I'm not the kind of girl you'd want to date anyway

xzanti

He has to be the same height or taller... Don't want a guy who has to stand on his tippytoes to kiss me that would just, kill the passion for me :cool:

Wibbs

nomorebadtown wrote: »

The more I read this forum, the more I come to the conclusion that the combination of these two factors is one of the major driving forces behind most of the things women do.

Agreed. At least men admit to being shallow. Personality and sense of humour my arse, the hypocrisy in here is suffocating.

Regardless of what people say attracts them what actually attracts them can often be quite different. Women are in some ways hard wired to look for healthy protective powerful men with consistent emotional responses. Height on a purely obvious level plugs into that. Men are hard wired to look for women who are healthy, young relatively slim(smaller waist than hips most importantly) and pretty, simply because both genders are looking for good indicators of their reproductive health.

Both genders will overlook many issues in those of high reproductive status. A man will take more emotional craziness as an example from a very beautiful woman than he would from a plain woman. A woman will turn more of a blind eye to a rich, socially powerful handsome man than from a weedy guy with no prospects.

That's the way the cookie crumbles pretty much. There are exceptions but in my experience they're rare enough. We can cloak it in romantic notions but our genes have their own ideas. You see this in love at first sight and "I just knew" scenarios. You couldn't possibly "just know". You don't know the person. It can take a lifetime to know ourselves much less a guy or gal you know for an hour. All that's going on is that the person is plugging into a physical and emotional template based on biology and your own experiences.

Height is as I say an obvious attractant in a man. It's only part of the package though. A shortarse with a billion in the bank is still going to get higher status women and more of them than a 6 ft 4 gym bunny. If the OP had met this guy and he turned out to be emotionally perfect and socially and fiscally powerful, I would put suspect this thread may not even have gotten started, or the likelihood would be less. So all you shortarses, start taking over the world and building blue chip companies.:D

Star Lord

Wibbs wrote: »

So all you shortarses, start taking over the world...

Wouldn't that plug directly into the "little hitler/napoleon" classification?

Malari

Wibbs wrote: »

Regardless of what people say attracts them what actually attracts them can often be quite different. Women are in some ways hard wired to look for healthy protective powerful men with consistent emotional responses. Height on a purely obvious level plugs into that. Men are hard wired to look for women who are healthy, young relatively slim(smaller waist than hips most importantly) and pretty, simply because both genders are looking for good indicators of their reproductive health.

Both genders will overlook many issues in those of high reproductive status. A man will take more emotional craziness as an example from a very beautiful woman than he would from a plain woman. A woman will turn more of a blind eye to a rich, socially powerful handsome man than from a weedy guy with no prospects.

That's the way the cookie crumbles pretty much. There are exceptions but in my experience they're rare enough. We can cloak it in romantic notions but our genes have their own ideas. You see this in love at first sight and "I just knew" scenarios. You couldn't possibly "just know". You don't know the person. It can take a lifetime to know ourselves much less a guy or gal you know for an hour. All that's going on is that the person is plugging into a physical and emotional template based on biology and your own experiences.

Height is as I say an obvious attractant in a man. It's only part of the package though. A shortarse with a billion in the bank is still going to get higher status women and more of them than a 6 ft 4 gym bunny. If the OP had met this guy and he turned out to be emotionally perfect and socially and fiscally powerful, I would put suspect this thread may not even have gotten started, or the likelihood would be less. So all you shortarses, start taking over the world and building blue chip companies.:D

Agreed. I think everyone who has posted here should have a read of The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. Brilliant explanations for the evolutionary rules of attraction.

nomorebadtown

Wibbs wrote: »

So all you shortarses, start taking over the world and building blue chip companies.:D

ah but if we start with that kind of attitude we get labelled as having do short man syndrom;)
in terms of genes, yes i agree. I'm short for a guy at 5'8 and i know that a taller guy is more of a biologically appealing prospect to women. What I dont like is the way women frequently take the moral high ground in railing against men's shallowness towards women, when it is clear from threads like this that women are just as bad as men in this regard.

nadie101

Oh my god finally other people are saying out loud what Iv felt for ages....a guy for me has to be taller a good bit taller than me if possible....
there is nothin I like more than to be given a hug by my really tall boyfriend wit his big broad shoulders and to feel all protected and small in his arms.
My boyfriend is roughly 6' 3" and I love that i can wear any sort of heels and still feel small and cosy in his arms...
Im sorry if that is shallow and it could be considered mean to guys who are on the slightly shorter side cuz I know they must be sick of this "discrimination" but thats just how I feel and Im sure they prob feel the same as us they dont like to go out with a girl who is taller than them...
I do have to say though its not necessarily shallow... as others have also said whats the difference between girls liking height in a guy and guys liking a particular hair colour or shape of a body or other preferences in a girl?
preferences are just that...a particular aspect that people like about other people/things, they should not be made feel shallow about it its their preference and Im sure everyone has some preferences that others would find shallow or offensive...its just human nature!
Apologies for the rant...:D

Miss Fluff

Wibbs wrote: »

If the OP had met this guy and he turned out to be emotionally perfect and socially and fiscally powerful, I would put suspect this thread may not even have gotten started, or the likelihood would be less.

Funnily enough Wibbs, lets just say that the guy in question is at the top of his game in his profession so extremely powerful both socially and fiscally. To all intents and purposes a fabulous "catch" as it were.....except for being a hobbit.:(

nomorebadtown

Miss Fluff wrote: »

except for being a hobbit.:(

LOL, as already stated, you are an inch shorter than him in flats! you're a hobbit too!

Miss Fluff

nomorebadtown wrote: »

LOL, as already stated, you are an inch shorter than him in flats! you're a hobbit too!

I don't wear flats! Ever!

Abi

Wibbs wrote: »

So all you shortarses, start taking over the world and building blue chip companies.:D

Sleep well tonight Pinky.. for tomorrow we will take over the world!

Star Lord

nadie101 wrote: »

Im sure they prob feel the same as us they dont like to go out with a girl who is taller than them...

Nope, doesn't bother me in the slightest. I like people for who they are rather than how they look.

And Miss Fluff, regardless about if you wear flats or not, you're still shorter than him

nomorebadtown

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I don't wear flats! Ever!

So if he wore shoes with heels, you might have given him a chance?

Ginny

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I don't wear flats! Ever!

You'll have to all the time in a few years then.

RedXIV

nomorebadtown wrote: »

So if he wore shoes with heels, you might have given him a chance?

Like Bono! :eek:

Star Lord

nomorebadtown wrote: »

So if he wore shoes with heels, you might have given him a chance?

Pimp shoes?