I'm_majorly_confused

Boston

I'm glad you realise you're in love with him and your emotions. I think its clear now that its far more then just a bit of fun for you. One thing is certain, it will be extremely difficult for you to commit to anyone else next year as long as you have this "one last time and never again after" attitude towards him.

You know what you have to do.

tin_can_ted

Boston wrote: »

One thing is certain, it will be extremely difficult for you to committee to anyone else next year as long as you have this "one last time and never again after" attitude towards him.

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean there. Could you say it again please?

Sorry for being a douche bag! :P


Thanks for all your helpful comments throughout the weeks and months, Boston, it really helps when there are people there to talk to.

Boston

I mean as long as you hold out hope for being with him you're not going to commit to being with anyone else. You're going to pass up opportunities to be with people who actually have the potential to love you as much as you do them. Nothing you feel now will compare to looking into someones eyes and knowing they feel the same way towards you. You'll probably always have some feelings for your friend since he represents a fair few "first times" for you, but he's not going to give you what you want.

And don't worry about being a douche bag, love's a pretty thorny thing.

tin_can_ted

Boston wrote: »

I mean as long as you hold out hope for being with him you're not going to commit to being with anyone else. You're going to pass up opportunities to be with people who actually have the potential to love you as much as you do them. Nothing you feel now will compare to looking into someones eyes and knowing they feel the same way towards you. You'll probably always have some feelings for your friend since he represents a fair few "first times" for you, but he's not going to give you what you want.

Nope, I'm not holding out for him anymore. I know his feelings are not going to change. I know this, yet I can't help but like him, ya know? I mean, he could (but he doesn't) treat me like crap and I'd still be there for him. I know that it is quiet sad and that if someone was to say that to me, I'd tell them that they are idiots but it's how I feel, and that can't be changed immediately.

Hopefully, I'll find something else and just get over him. Well, at the very least I'll still have a really good friend at the end of the day and that is far more valuable than some fling or whatever.

Thanks again.

Boston

tin_can_ted wrote: »

Nope, I'm not holding out for him anymore. I know his feelings are not going to change. I know this, yet I can't help but like him, ya know? I mean, he could (but he doesn't) treat me like crap and I'd still be there for him. I know that it is quiet sad and that if someone was to say that to me, I'd tell them that they are idiots but it's how I feel, and that can't be changed immediately.

Hopefully, I'll find something else and just get over him. Well, at the very least I'll still have a really good friend at the end of the day and that is far more valuable than some fling or whatever.

Thanks again.

Its good you're not holding out anymore. I know what you meaning about not being able to help feelings despite knowing nothing will come of them, most of us have been there at least once. And being there for someone regardless is part of being a good friend. You seem to have managed to make it through all this without making any serious permanent mistakes, you should feel proud of that fact.

tin_can_ted

Thanks for all your words Boston. I'll keep everyone updated anyway, I'm sure

lostanddribling

ok cmon, u promised an update, lol im dying to se what has happened since u last posted!!

tin_can_ted

Update.

Well, I've been living with him for the past few months and there haven't been any fights or anything really negative yet. I've slept in his bed a few times with him and he's slept in mine. Nothing has happened thus far but it does feel nice.

HOWEVER, one big revelation is that I told him last Friday night that I loved him. :eek: He said that he already knew and that don't think that I'm the only one in the world who loves someone they can't have. He says that he loves some girl but she's not interested.

On re-reading that, it wasn't as bad of a conversation as it may seem. We hugged for ten minutes or so while sitting on the bed and it was kinda nice to tell him.

I think I'm heading to the George for the first time sometime soon with some mates. All my friends are straight and some of them want to come. What kinda atmosphere is there? Would they be heavily outnumbered?

Boston

I'm glad to see you're still friends with him. You guys have a very "non conventional" friendship but it seems to be working, so fair play.

Never liked The George tbh, and yes they will be massively out numbered. Some may even get hit on. Just tell them not to stare at people no matter how "out of this world" they seem. If this is your first time in a gay bar I'd suggest somewhere like front lounge or even the newly done up pantibar. They're far less "intensive".

tin_can_ted

Two or three of them have been before and one of them thinks it's a compliment when girls hit on her so I'm sure they'll be grand.

Feck it. If I don't like it, I'll just leave, I guess.

Boston

If you're going with friends things will be a lot easier. Chat, relax, dance, have a good time and most of all don't stress about it.

Murder.1

I wanna go to the George

Anyway, interesting read I must say! I'm quite envious of your relationship with Tom, but then again I realise that it could cause a lot of complications. But at least you've had him good aul chap :P;)