Following up after getting number

robo1 · 04-06-2008 12:32pm #1

Does anyone have any particular guidelines for following up after asking someone for their number on a night out? e.g. how long to leave it, whether to call or text, suggestions for first date, whether to arrange to meet up midweek or for weekend etc

I wouldn't usually have thought too much about it but the last time I asked someone for their number I called two days later. Phonecall went fine but she was heading away for the weekend so I said I would talk to her next week. The next week I sent a text but never got a reply. I also sent a follow up text just to make sure but again no reply. Strange as she seemed genuinely interested when I asked for her number.

I'm not looking to rush into anything nor am I looking to play games. Just want to meet up and if things go well follow on from there.

Cathmandooo · 04-06-2008 12:48pm

Did you just get someone elses number? I say ring them the next day if you're into them. Ask them to meet up whenever suits both of you, I'd say if you both like each other then the sooner the better. It's not a good sign if theyre not available to meet for a while, you can always make time if you like a person.

Just dont hound them with texts. Texts are crap. Phone calls ftw.

Abi · 04-06-2008 1:10pm

Cathooo wrote: »

Did you just get someone elses number? I say ring them the next day if you're into them. ... Just dont hound them with texts. Texts are crap. Phone calls ftw.

I agree, following day. Anything more than that and you are falling into the game-playing area. I half agree with the call / text thing. Calls are better, but it depends on the kind of person you are dealing with. Some feel a bit rabbit in the head-lights when called off-guard.

But def the next day.

Ginny · 04-06-2008 1:13pm

Do not play games, do not go by rules, if you like someone call them as soon as you want to, but outside stalkerish limits obviously...:D

robo1 · 04-06-2008 3:18pm

Ok thanks for the replies. It seems the general thought is the sooner the better.

What about a suggestion for first date? Dinner would be the obvious choice. How does simply going for a few drinks sound? To me it would be a bit a more of a relaxed atmosphere but any other suggestions would be welcome.

Cathmandooo · 04-06-2008 3:24pm

Personally I prefer the few drinks option. It's much easier to say yes to once she likes to go for a drink. It's easier to share the payment than a meal is and you can have a good chat and get to know each other.

Ginny · 04-06-2008 5:07pm

For me Dinner on a first date is a no no, its a bit too much, i'd rather it was more relaxed and less formal, drinks or a coffee i suppose.

iPoker · 04-06-2008 7:23pm

Cathooo wrote: »

Did you just get someone elses number? I say ring them the next day if you're into them. Ask them to meet up whenever suits both of you, I'd say if you both like each other then the sooner the better. It's not a good sign if theyre not available to meet for a while, you can always make time if you like a person.

Just dont hound them with texts. Texts are crap. Phone calls ftw.

standard rule is call her when you get home from the club....if she doesn't call you back after you're 6th call, leave a message calling her a bitch and a whore, and go to bed. that's standard.

iPoker · 04-06-2008 7:25pm

robo1 wrote: »

Ok thanks for the replies. It seems the general thought is the sooner the better.

What about a suggestion for first date? Dinner would be the obvious choice. How does simply going for a few drinks sound? To me it would be a bit a more of a relaxed atmosphere but any other suggestions would be welcome.

first date dinner is for retarded dicks that are already planning to meet her parents. first date in Coppers would be relatively standards.

iPoker · 04-06-2008 7:28pm

Cathooo wrote: »

Personally I prefer the few drinks option. It's much easier to say yes to once she likes to go for a drink. It's easier to share the payment than a meal is and you can have a good chat and get to know each other.

if she offers to get the first drink, go for it. don't forget, if total number of drinks are an odd number, she will pay for first and last. always a bonus. further, after 5 drinks, insist it is her round when in fact it is yours. if she calls it, just claim a mistake, or alternatively call her a tight bitch, and walk, or more professionally, if in Coppers, pick up some other skank. that's standard.

gabgab · 04-06-2008 7:49pm

The call her a bitch and a whore on the sixth call actually made me nearly spit out my drink, HILARIOUS

:D

moco · 04-06-2008 8:53pm

Someone got my number on Sunday and didn't text til this evening. That's a bit long in my opinion!

SarahSassy · 04-06-2008 8:56pm

moco wrote: »

Someone got my number on Sunday and didn't text til this evening. That's a bit long in my opinion!

Nope it could be worse. Dont start playing games with him. Text him back when you can / are ready.

moco · 04-06-2008 9:01pm

SarahSassy wrote: »

Nope it could be worse. Dont start playing games with him. Text him back when you can / are ready.

Ah yea I did, I couldn't play games even if I wanted to! Supposed to be meeting him tomorrow night so we'll see how it goes.:cool:

iPoker · 04-06-2008 9:42pm

moco wrote: »

Someone got my number on Sunday and didn't text til this evening. That's a bit long in my opinion!

sounds like you were way down the line!

SarahSassy · 04-06-2008 9:53pm

Enjoy tomorrow night and dont look too much into it... You'll know a lot more from his behaviour tomorrow and after that....

moco · 04-06-2008 11:01pm

iPoker wrote: »

sounds like you were way down the line!

Yea, looks like it!

misswex · 05-06-2008 1:32pm

Just another spin Moco maybe he was nervous, like the original poster here and asked a couple of friends who stupidly told him to play it cool and to not text for a while so he did. When he did text he immediately wanted to meet up so he obviously likes you.

moco · 05-06-2008 2:09pm

misswex wrote: »

Just another spin Moco maybe he was nervous, like the original poster here and asked a couple of friends who stupidly told him to play it cool and to not text for a while so he did. When he did text he immediately wanted to meet up so he obviously likes you.

:)I'll post tomorrow how it goes, that's if he doesn't cancel!

Black Swan · 05-06-2008 5:06pm

robo1 wrote: »

Does anyone have any particular guidelines for following up after asking someone for their number on a night out?

I'm not looking to rush into anything nor am I looking to play games. Just want to meet up and if things go well follow on from there.

Phone her soon after, and no texting. Chat some. See what she's in to. Taking it slow at first is normally the best, like "Let's meet for coffee" (or lunch), or whatever. Everyone's different. Some might go for a drink, or dinner-movie, whereas others would not. Chat with her. Ask her. Find out...

sunnyside · 05-06-2008 11:25pm

I'd recommend sending a text very soon after getting the number. Just say something fairly neutral like "Great night wasn't it?" "Just home now, had a great night". Hopefully she'll reply and then ring her back instead of too much texting.

I've had dinner on a first date and it was great but I'm not really recommending that because it would be really awkward if you weren't comfortable in one anothers company and the conversation wasn't flowing.

Drinks or coffee is fine but in my opinion the guy should pay on the first date. Women don't like men who are mean.

If it's going well ask her if she'd like to do this again sometime or if she'd like to go for dinner next week. If you do that half way through the first date it cuts out the game-playing.

moco · 06-06-2008 1:04pm

misswex wrote: »

Just another spin Moco maybe he was nervous, like the original poster here and asked a couple of friends who stupidly told him to play it cool and to not text for a while so he did. When he did text he immediately wanted to meet up so he obviously likes you.

My night went well, he took so long to text cos he hadn't saved my number properly in his phone and had to get it again off my friend. She took a while getting back to him.:cool::)

Dragan · 06-06-2008 2:23pm

sunnyside wrote: »

Drinks or coffee is fine but in my opinion the guy should pay on the first date. Women don't like men who are mean.

What if you ask them out?:)

coffee_cake · 06-06-2008 2:24pm

sunnyside wrote:

Drinks or coffee is fine but in my opinion the guy should pay on the first date. Women don't like men who are mean.

I'm sure men don't like gold diggers either

TeletextPear · 06-06-2008 2:31pm

i think going for a drink is fine for first date, dinner is a bit formal. i think id lean more towards texting after you get someones number, id be a bit caught off guard if someone called me after just getting my number, texts are more relaxed and theres no fear of awkward silences

Rozabeez · 07-06-2008 11:27am

Waaaah, he didn't call, etc etc.

Pfft, men.

CCCP^ · 07-06-2008 1:50pm

3 days like in Swingers. You are so money baby.

iMax · 07-06-2008 10:12pm

From Swingers (Well worth a watch)

TRENT
... you're money...

SUE
... you're so ****in mmmoney.

TRENT
Now go over there and get those digits.

SUE
You're money.

TRENT
(pulling him aside, dead
serious)
Now when you talk to her, I don't want
you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that
everyone's pulling for. I want you to be
the guy in the rated R movie who you're
not sure if you like.

Mike nods and, energized by the bombardment, crosses back to
the bar and right into the fray.

Trent and Sue rejoin the other swingers.

Swinger's P.O.V. of Mike decisively engaging her in
conversation.

She laughs.

Out comes the pen and the cocktail napkin. Bingo.

Mike crosses back to the swingers' table and, using his body
to shield Nikki's view, pretends to rip the napkin. This
breaks the guys up.

Mike sits down and, after admiring the blotchy numerals,
delicately folds the napkin and pockets it.

TRENT
See, baby. It's not that hard.

CHARLES
818?

MIKE
310.

Everyone reacts favorably to this area code.

MIKE
How long do I wait to call?

TRENT
A day.

MIKE
Tomorrow?

TRENT
No...

SUE
... Tomorrow, then a day.

TRENT
... Yeah.

MIKE
So, two days?

TRENT
Yeah. I guess you could call it that.

SUE
Definitely. Two days. That's the
industry standard...

TRENT
(to Sue. shop talk)
... I used to wait two days. Now
everyone waits two days. Three days is
kinda money now, don't you think?

SUE
... Yeah. But two's enough not to look
anxious...

TRENT
Yeah, but three days is kinda the
money...

MIKE
(interrupting sarcastically)
Why don't I just wait three weeks and
tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and
found her number...

CHARLES
... then ask where you met her...

MIKE
Yeah, I'll tell her I don't remember and
then I'll ask what she looks like.
(pause)
Then I'll ask if we ****ed. How's that,
Tee? Is that "the money"?

The guys laugh.

TRENT
Laugh all you want, but if you call to
soon you can scare off a nice baby who's
ready to party.

SUE
Don't listen to him. You call whenever
it feels right to you.

MIKE
How long are you guys gonna wait to call
your honeys?

TRENT & SUE
Six days.

Rozabeez · 07-06-2008 11:02pm

Fine, I'll wait one more day. But after that, fire in his petrol hut.

sunnyside · 09-06-2008 12:18am

Dragan wrote: »

What if you ask them out?:)

Good question. I've never asked a man out and have no plans to but in that situation I guesse the female should pay. I have no problem paying for things, I don't like women who are mean any more than men who are.

Cinamon Girl · 10-06-2008 10:22pm

I think a lot of men like to do the asking out and are not keen on women doing the chasing! Am I right or wrong on this?

Following up after getting number

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