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Identity crisis

  • 05-06-2008 2:00am
    #1
    seeshell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24 ✭


    Hi everyone,

    I would just like to ask if you adoptees have gone through an identity crisis and would like to share your story. I've read in one of the threads that it is quite common, however my sister, who is adopted like me does not have this problem.

    I was adopted when i was 3, in Korea by a French father and an Irish mother. My parents are wonderful and i consider them as my real parents. I am 24 now and for some reason, i have started to have an identity crisis over the past few years, which have affected my concentration in my studies as well as my social life. I dont really know what triggered it. I feel a bit lost at the moment.

    I'd love to hear your stories :)

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,285 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Hi Seeshell,

    Its not uncommon, and is entirely natural, to experience what is an identity crisis. Some people have a propensity to be more self contained and better able to cope with a situation, such as adoption, than others though- and everyone has different coping mechanisms it really varies.

    There are a number of very very useful books out there that might be worthwhile reading. Betty Jean Lifton, an American adopted person, has written a number of books, including one which I personally think is very good entitled "Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness". You can find it on Amazon pretty handily (its not in Easons/Waterstones/Hogis Figis- but they can order it in for you).

    Being adopted in Irish society inevitably means a relinquishment of our personal identity and a total lack of any knowledge about our past (I do not mean from a purely historic perspective). In some cases while we may have very supportive adoptive parents who actively encourage us to learn about our birthparents, our history, our heritage- that very encouragement can in fact act as a deterent- either fear of the unknown, or a fear of appearing to be ungrateful to adoptive parents who we love and who love us, can be viewed as paramount.

    If you have the chance I would recommend getting Ms. Lifton's book- I think you may identify with a lot in it.

    Best wishes,

    Shane


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