Sorry

patmac

I apologise for this it's bad can we rate our own thread I'm giving this one star.


Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.

When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,

'You Sign! You sign!'

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.

Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder,

'You Sign! You sign!'

Nelson says to him, 'Look, you've obviously got the wrong man', and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again.

When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads.

He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling,

'You sign! You sign!'

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting:

'Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!' Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.


On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,

'You sign! You sign!'

Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little Man by his shirt front and yells at him:

'Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?'

The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:



(It's a beauty)




(Wait for it)





(Get your best Chinese accent ready)







'You not Nissan Main Deala?

dak

Datsun joke ! Gold Standard ....So sorry to see it go !

whiskeyman

dak wrote: »

Datsun joke ! Gold Standard ....So sorry to see it go !

don't get car-ried away...

Homer

He's just driving home his point... He'll try and take you for a ride. Dont mind them pat, I think you're a real self-starter!
This could be your day of wreckoning

dak

industria wrote: »

He's just driving home his point... He'll try and take you for a ride. Dont mind them pat, I think you're a real self-starter!
This could be your day of wreckoning

Am I nissan the points ! Sound likes a fob off ! Thats key to my arguement ! I Auto ignite if you piston my puns .

The Bollox

I'm clutching my face after that one. also these car puns never tyre

Steve_o

Which coat is yours??

whiskeyman

Steve_o wrote: »

Which coat is yours??

Are we getting the boot already?

dak

whiskeyman wrote: »

Are we getting the boot already?

Only if you don't Truncate your sentences !

biko

I love it

patmac

Primeraly this was to make people's life sunny and note to start another one of those silly pun threads, so be smart and Focus on the humour the pun forum is elsewhere anymore puns like these and someone must'ang

rocky25

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking, when in walks a cowboy who yells,

"Who's white horse it that outside?"

The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns around and says,

"It's my horse. Why do you want to know?"

The cowboy looks at him and says,

"Well, your horse is standing out there in the sun and he don't look too good."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto run outside and they see that Silver is in bad shape, suffering from heat exhaustion.

The Loan Ranger moves his horse into the shade and gets a bucket of water.
He then pours some of the water over the horse and gives the rest to Silver to drink.

It is then he notices that there isn't a breeze so he asks Tonto if he would start running around Silver to get some air flowing and perhaps cool him down.

Being a faithful friend, Tonto starts running around Silver.

The Lone Ranger stands there for a bit then realizes there is not much more he can do, so he goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey.

After a bit a cowboy walks in and says, "Who's white horse is that outside?"

Slowly the Lone Ranger turns around and says,

"That is my horse, what is wrong with him now?"


"Nothing," replies the cowboy,


"I just wanted to let you know that you left your Injun running."

Homer

patmac wrote: »

Primeraly this was to make people's life sunny and note to start another one of those silly pun threads, so be smart and Focus on the humour the pun forum is elsewhere anymore puns like these and someone must'ang

Audi! I mazda mistaken this for the pun appreciation thread sorry!

I was just trying to impreza you?

Are you sure you want me to stop? You won't know what your nissan?

rocky25

What about some pic's...a Starlet in a Mini.

lol good stuff op

dak

patmac wrote: »

Primeraly this was to make people's life sunny and note to start another one of those silly pun threads, so be smart and Focus on the humour the pun forum is elsewhere anymore puns like these and someone must'ang

Sounds like you have us all under a Micra scope when you are out on Patrol ! All please take Note If I mustang I'll be able to see the skyline-r .

Well Dunl -op ! Your right on the X-Trail ! We never tyre of your comments and you get Maxima stars .