Soothers

marti101

Why are people obsessed with soothers.I was in Tesco couple of weeks ago doing my shopping and ds started crying,next minute this woman bout 60 comes up and sticks her hand in the pram looking for the soother.I was livid and before i had a chance to say anything she asks me does he have a dodo and i said no,well you would think i had 10 heads.Same thing happened yesterday he started cryng was tired and a woman again bout 60 and asks me the same thing,and when i said he hadnt she turned and said i wouldnt be able to listen to all that rying.At this stage i was going mad and i said to her hes not crying for a soother cause he cant cry for something he never had.Ive nothing against soothers they are just not for me.So why dont people understand that especially the majority who say it to me are oldish and maybe they wouldnt have given their child a soother.Sorry for the rant but my head is wrecked listening to people so ive decided to let it roll off me and not ket it bother me.Until the next time some aul biddy comes up to me.I dont know why i feel i have to explain myself to complete strangers.

Nevyn

Well I'd be pissed of with anyone putting thier hand in t pam or touching any of my kids when they were infants with out permission.

My son had a soother for the first year, my daughter never bothered with one and yes people used to find it odd. You choose to rear your child in a certain way and there are some people who just can't stand to hear a child crying, tbh you should have told her that you weren't keeping her and the sooner she moved on the soon she would not have to listen to your chid.

deisemum

This is just one of many things that when it comes to parents and babies some people (well a lot) cant resist passing on their opinions.

I would not fancy anyone putting their hand into the pram without permission. That would annoy me a hell of a lot more than the comments about soothers.

Loopy

Sometimes older people just think they know it all regarding child rearing. 'Well I had 10 and none of mine behaved like that' kinda mentality.

I wouldn't be happy if anyone put their hands near my child especially if trying pacify them, and sorry especially if I didn't know them.

My OH was in town last week and our toddler was beside him, some guy came up and picked her up and started shouting 'who owns this child', my partner said WTF are you doing mate? Your man was embarrassed and said oh sorry I thought she was lost... Ok he was trying to help:rolleyes: Bloody cheek though..

Anyway, neither of my 2 took soothers, just never took to them..

flynnc8

My little girl loves her soother

although, I would prefer it if she didn't rely on it so much...

I think people are so use to seen kids with soothers these days that its just unusual to see them without...

Them comments are just away of them moaning about something.. even with a dode I get comments off women on buses.. and my daughter is very well mannered..

But like all toddlers she gets cranky when shes tired and likes to have a winge...

marti101

I do agree about putting their hands in the pram,it did annoy me but as he was crying i was just trying to get out of there.What it was though if they fount the soother would they have put the soother in the babies mouthuuugh.Even now i shudder,you do wonder what people do be thinking doing something like that without even knowing the person.The next person to stick their hands were they are not wanted is going to get a mouthful off me.I would have probably have to throw away the soother lol.

Quality

looptheloop wrote: »

Sometimes older people just think they know it all regarding child rearing. 'Well I had 10 and none of mine behaved like that' kinda mentality.

Ohh I really hate that know it all attitude. Reminds me of my mother in law.

Marti I wouldnt take it to heart, dont let other people bother you. Do what you feel is right for your child. At the end of the day
Mammy & Daddy know best!!:D

TequilaMockingBird

Oh God, I sooo remember that. Feeling furious, yet unsure, as it was my first baby. With hindsight now I'd tell them to f off. Honestly.

I remember every time I left my house, my neighbour would be out saying "that child needs a hat", or "that child is too warm - take the hat off". I had raging post natal depression at the time, and my entire world was revolving around this baby, trying to do the best for her, yet everytime I left the house I was told I was doing it wrong. It still makes me furious now. (I moved shortly afterwards!)

You do what is right for your baby.

littlebug

ugh people like that drive me nuts. I had an old lady in the street tell me I was carrying my child wrong one day (she was in a sling). I also had an American tell my my 2 1/2 year old that he needed to learn some manners :mad:. We'd been on the road for a couple of hours and stopped for a lunch break. The youngest had finished his food first and whined (quietly) about 3 times..." can we go now". He didn't leave his seat or shout or cry.. just the occasional little sad whimper up at me. I was actually thinking how good they were being when the nasty old bag came up to him and gave him a lecture on the etiquette of dining :rolleyes:.

Ickle Magoo

Some people just have a blanket "cure all" for kids based on their own experiences & that's that, in my experience...the majority are actually trying to help you. I don't like soothers. I deliberately didn't give my kids soothers.

My daughter cracked her head open last week & she's never had a soother & my friend gave her one as she was upset & guess what? It did just that, soothe her. I guess if soothers are all you have ever known then you know the benefits & don't see the harm in suggesting likewise...

So far I've heard the exalted benefits of formula/breastfeeding, smacking/AP, soothers/comforters, own room/co-sleeping, etc, etc ad infinitum...everyone has an opinion & for some reason no-one feels it is not their place to comment! Just do what suits you & your wee one best & filter out the rest.

Gillie

Sorry to hear that OP! The cheek of some ppl!

sueme wrote: »

I remember every time I left my house, my neighbour would be out saying "that child needs a hat", or "that child is too warm - take the hat off".

:mad:
The cheek of some ppl!
There are only two instances where I would feel compelled to "intervene" or say something in relation to someone else's child:
-If I saw a parent hitting (don't mean slapping) their child in public
-Seeing a child in a car without a seatbelt! This happens so much these days! What the f*ck is wrong with some ppl?

Apart from the two reasons above I would never interfere with a total stranger regarding their child!

Thankfully that kinda crap has never happened me!

marti101

I dont mind people coming up and playing and talking if hes crying but its all this i know it all and you know nothing.I remember on my 2nd ds he was screaming but he was an awful cryer he just cried for crying sake,so i was walking up the road and this woman again bout 60[what is it about women in their 60s]and she come over and said why dont you give him a soother and at this stage i wasnt in the best of moods.So i told her do you see him crying now and she said yes and i said can you imagine what he would be like if he lost his soother,because i know people who give soothers and the child only takes a certain soother so i can just imagine me going round tescos at 4 in the morning looking for a soother.No thanks.,my life is hard enough as it is .

Crea

Jaysus - and if the child had a soother you'd have another group of people coming up unasked telling you how bad they were and that they'll give the child buck teeth. Why oh why can't people mind their own business??

Big_Mac

Ok, I'm fairly new to this parenting role, (three days now ) but both my partner and I have decided that nither of us want to give our child soothers. Not for any other reason than we have decided not to and we are the parents.

I have to say though, woe betide anyone who sticks their hand into the pram to 'look for something' or to offer their 'perfect advice' on parenting. Don't get me wrong, say hello to the baby and all that, but I won't have someone elses opinion thrust on me without asking. I would be a little unhappy about it to put it mildly

I realise that most people would try to help, but put that aside for a moment and there are plenty of people who will talk at you as to what is best 'in their eyes' and nothing else matters. Those people get on my wick

Sulukie

Big_Mac wrote: »

Ok, I'm fairly new to this parenting role, (three days now ) but both my partner and I have decided that nither of us want to give our child soothers. Not for any other reason than we have decided not to and we are the parents.

I have to say though, woe betide anyone who sticks their hand into the pram to 'look for something' or to offer their 'perfect advice' on parenting. Don't get me wrong, say hello to the baby and all that, but I won't have someone elses opinion thrust on me without asking. I would be a little unhappy about it to put it mildly

I realise that most people would try to help, but put that aside for a moment and there are plenty of people who will talk at you as to what is best 'in their eyes' and nothing else matters. Those people get on my wick

Congratulations Big Mac

We were like you no way was our baby having a soother, that lasted eight days until the skin on his little fist was red raw from being in his mouth. I reserve the right to change my mind on any feeling I now have about parenting

I agree with the other posters about any one sticking their hand into my baby's pram but I have to say I quite enjoy all the random conversations I have with strangers as I push the pram around. So far they have all been positive - but then so far babs has kept his crying sessions private

At the moment my feelings on a soother are he's getting some comfort from it when he's teething or tired and thats fair enough, I don't want him to still be using it when he's three or four or starting secondary school but just in case refer to my comment above!

Sulukie

noby

Congratulations, Big Mac.

We chose not to give our first a soother, but still kept one in the cupboard just in case (never say never with children). Baby no.3 is six months now, and none have used a soother. It doesn't mean we would look down our noses at parents that do use soothers, though, we were just lucky enough not to feel the need for one I guess.

deisemum

Congrats Big Mac,

I totally agree with noby, you may be surprised at how you quickly change your opinions on a lot of things when it comes to children

Another thing which I think is far worse than a person sticking their hand into the pram is people wanting to kiss a baby especially if they've got a cold sore. Yuck Yuck Yuck. Believe me it happens, :eek:

Big_Mac

Thanks for the messages guys and gals.

Well, the theory we have is that we don't want to use a soother for our newborn, but then again we are new to the parenting thing. We have a lot of theories and ideas as to how we want to raise our baby, and no doubt a lot of these will go out the window when the reality of the situations hits, whatever they may be. We also reserve the right to change our minds too, but at the moment we would like to go without a soother in an ideal world. I guess we just need to wait and see

Looking forward to every minute of it though :eek::D