age difference: how old is too old or does it really matter??

omb0wyn5ehpij9

kowloon wrote: »

Within reason and legality.

Well that's a given!

kowloon

BrynW wrote: »

Well that's a given!

This is the internet though .

Madame Razz

Moonbaby wrote: »

If your happy then screw everyone elses opinion.
Personally I am gone off older men, they have more issues at this stage.

you could definately be onto something there moonbaby; i have encountered a few with fairly extensive issues; possibly why they're left on the shelf!!

I think i was taken up wrongly on my first post; i dont particularly give a damn what my friends think; i know what they think but it doesnt bother me; its my choice not theirs!!

I think in many ways older guys have huge advantages over younger men; but obviously as they get older there ensues major disadvantages.

and of course my mother always tells me if i end up with somebody 20/25 years older then to remember that most likely i'll be a widow in my fifties.....:eek: thnks mom!!

My most recent older man encounter was 15 years my senior; and he had issues with MY age........now that was a first!!

He also turned out to be one of those issue types....so i left him to it!!

Was just curious to get an opinion on it; i'm the only one in my circle with a penchant for age and maturity and was wondering did anybody else out there share my tastes

Wibbs

I reckon like any relationship difference it brings issues. Funny enough as a 40 year old bloke myself, I do see a certain intransigence in some of my male peers(the women tend to chill out as they get older funny enough). They do get stuck in their ways emotionally. Then again others don't.

I think the years just bring out the true personality more than anything else, as those I know who are open minded and easy going now, always were. Indeed have gotten more so with age.

As for baggage. Well everyone has some baggage. It's the mechanisms that they use to deal with that baggage is the important thing IMHO. I know for me at least, I am more accepting now anyway.

Crumble Froo

old boy wrote: »

no such thing as love, lust yes, pure animal lust now thats a different ball game

just cos you're old and bitter doesnt mean you have to project it onto the rest of us! :P

echosound wrote: »

I'm not trying to be morbid or anything, but I have seen a good few marriages where one was 20 yrs older than the other, so for eg. when the wife was only 55, her husband was bedridden at 76, and dead at 78. Not something anyone wants to be thinking about, but if it is to be a lifelong thing (ie talk of marriage etc) it is a consideration unfortunately.

*sigh* damned mortality my fella is 19 years older than me, and yeah, for me that is a major major worry. we joke about how im going to push his chair around the beach and probably throw him off a cliff when he annoys me (his words, not mine :P ), but it's just one of those horrible horrible things hanging over us, for me.

then again, ill probably walk under a bus tomorrow >_<

kowloon wrote: »

Within reason and legality.

define reason... cos i think i did mine with as little of that evidentially as ya can really... we met online and i flew over to see him in person all by myself... add the fact he's twice my age, and most of my mates were freaking out... well... define 'within reason.'

mollybird

trinity i was exactly like you. i was twenty and living over in the states when i was dating someone twice my age. was mad about him but our lifestyles clashed. and i was too busy out partying all the time where he wanted to stay in.

mollybird

trinity i was exactly like you. i was 20 and living in the states at the time when dating someone twice my age. was mad about him but our lifestyles clashed. i was too busy partying but he just wanted to stay in all the time our go out for a few quiet drinks.

Pink Summertime

Well, I am 31 and have been with a guy who is 47 since I was 28 so we are in our 4th year together now- I would just say take it slowly- they have been around longer than you and, may not want the same things etc.
If you are looking for something serious be careful- that's all I'd say- they come with baggage- it may be a bit of work on your part to convince them that not all women are mad lunatics who took their house and left them with nothing in the divorce!:o
Cynicism aside though- I totally empathise with you- I am very happy and have spent a bit of time reflecting on things like impact of age difference on babies etc but love conquers all girl! But like all matters of love tread carefully! And in areas of sexual and cultural adventures older is better!!
Hope that helps a bit!

Aisling(",)

im 16 and had a thing with a 26 year old.the age thing didnt bother me but the lifestyles so different that in that sense id rather someone around 18/19.

pug_lover

Just thought I'd jump in here.

Came out of a 5 year relationship with someone 19 yrs my senior recently.. we were engaged, in the process of buying a house etc and I got cold feet Started thinking we'd need to start a family like yesterday, and even at that he would still be a pretty old dad, and then the whole mortality thing. So I decided I wanted out... very hard to do when you genuinely love someone.

Have been single now for six months and haven't had any interest in anyone. Strangely enough though have had a bit if a flirtation with a 21 year old guy, only 4 years younger than me but I have more of a problem with the age difference here ... probably more of a maturity thing this time. But sure what the hell I think I could do with a little bit of fun at this stage

I like older guys.. because guys my age.. are only reaching the mental age of about 5 now..

I'd only ever go 10 years-ish over my age.. So 29/30.. ya.. ew.. no more.

Sugar Drunk

heard a brilliant rule for this yesterday - divide your age by two and add seven. Thats the age of the youngest person its acceptable to be with
Try it it kinda works out!

Dudess

That "rule" is absolute cock and I can't believe so many people buy into it...

Aisling(",) wrote: »

im 16 and had a thing with a 26 year old.

He sounds like quite the paedo catch...

Love the older guys - I've been with quite a few. The biggest age gap was 19 years. I was 26, he was 45. Never had any interest in guys my own age when I was a teen - boys just never did it for me, I wanted a man. Didn't have a boyfriend til I was 18 - although he wasn't much older than me.

LolaLuv

Dudess wrote: »

Never had any interest in guys my own age when I was a teen - boys just never did it for me, I wanted a man.

Very well said! That's how I was in high school. Now that I'm a little bit older (mid-20s), I'm finding that I don't have to go for an extreme age difference to find decent men. Still prefer a few years plus though.

leesmom

im 20 and my OH is 25,we've been together over 3 years now,im pretty mature for my age and him a little immature but it balances out really.i found guys my age were way to immature,like dudess said ,i wanted a man not a boy.i dont think id go out with someone much older than my OH though.

Ruby-J

Zaph wrote: »

Well I'm 40, so how you doin'?

lmao!!!!

SMOOTH Zaph!

John Mason

old boy wrote: »

no such thing as love, lust yes, pure animal lust now thats a different ball game

QFT



It does matter what age they are or you, for that matter. As long as you are respected and have the odd dinner cooked for you

Ruby-J

it doenst really matter once you click. although if you are planning to have children its probably best to think would the older man/woman be able to cope with children if theyre 20 years older then you for eg if you were 30 and they were 50 etc. it would have to be taken into perspective, if they would be able to start a family at that later age in life.

But other then that i reckon its whatever makes u both happy really! Never mind what friends say to ye!!! Theyre not in the relationship with you!

John Mason

well, i have a toy boy and we would have the opposite problem when it came to kids. But it isnt an issue for me, anyway

RedXIV

This thread doesn't inspire confidence for young men

John Mason

RedXIV wrote: »

This thread doesn't inspire confidence for young men

my young boy is great

he doesnt have any hang up or issues about wimmins and he knows how to cook and does expect me to do everything for him, like men of a certain age do

RedXIV

irishbird wrote: »

my young boy is great

Thank god for you, only one that likes younger men

John Mason

RedXIV wrote: »

Thank god for you, only one that likes younger men

yeah, cos i am true to mine own self

pug_lover

RedXIV wrote: »

This thread doesn't inspire confidence for young men

Well I'm quiet taken with a 21 year old at the mo... and I must add he is a very manly one so there is always hope for them

Ruby-J

you're only as old as the woman you're feeling if you are a guy! and man you're feeling if you're a woman

tinkletoes

Last two guys I dated were nearly four years younger than me and never worked, you think I would of learnt first time round:pac: My boyfriend is four years older and makes a lot of difference more well suited and mature:)

ugliest

Hmm.............interesting i found this thread.

I've been seeing a chap about 13 years older than me, not really an issue for him, but seems to be for me. Odd thing is, i really don't think it'd be an issue for me if he were in his late 20's...

More than likely come back to insecurity on my part, but i reeeeally couldn't picture being with someone 20+ years older. All the life experience they'd have, been through so many things you couldn't relate to. Also you'd be going through things that were old news to them, been there, done that, more difficult to understand why some things would be so important to you, when you're going through them for the first time. If it were 20+ years i'd really question what the older person's attraction was, bar the physical. A relationship cannot, solely on physical appeal, depend.

LolaDub

I was chatting to a lovely guy 11 years older than me, he asked for my number and we texted a few days later, he told me he really like me but he couldn't handle the age difference so that was that-dumped before a single date! I tend to go for guys a bit older as well, i'm a single mother and i find guys my own age are just out of college and assume i'm looking for a husband and replacement dad or i'm just a big whore and will spread my legs for anything. So i welcome the maturity generally found with older guys

Aisling(",)

Aisling(",) wrote: »

im 16 and had a thing with a 26 year old.the age thing didnt bother me but the lifestyles so different that in that sense id rather someone around 18/19.

Thats a bit dodge in fairness! Its a silly rule but still half your age + 7 for him was 20! :eek:


Im 23 and have been havin a flirty flirty thing goin on with a girl who's 26. She's kinda holding back though because she says Im too young for her!! She did tell my friend she wants to spank me though!! :pac:

Jemmy

tinkletoes wrote: »

Last two guys I dated were nearly four years younger than me and never worked, you think I would of learnt first time round:pac: My boyfriend is four years older and makes a lot of difference more well suited and mature:)

So you think younger isnt the way to go now! lol

This debate came up recently with friends, at 23 how old is to old and how young is to young?

We never came to a conclusion!