Top 29 ways bicycles are better than women

dohouch

(Mods, transfer to Humour if you think it belongs there,thanks)

Top 29 ways bicycles are better than women

1. Bicycles don't get pregnant.
2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.
3. Bicycles don't have parents.
4. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your bicycles with your friends.
6. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you've ridden.
7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.
8. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you have now.
9. Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles.
10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.
11. You'll never hear, "Suprise, you're goning to own a new bicycle"
unless you go out and buy one yourself.
12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with
it.
15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.
16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.
17. If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don't have to apologize
before you ride it again.
18. You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it wont get sore.
19. You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get
frustrated.
20. Your parents wont remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump
it.
21. Bicycles don't get headaches.
22. Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
23. Your bicyle never wants a night out with other bicycles.
24. Bicycles don't care if you're late.
25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
26. If your bicycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better
parts.
27. You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without
having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
28. The only protection you need to wear when riding your bicycle is a
decent helment.
29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you
had the last time you were on your bicycle.

Heh, very good.

roadmanmad

While there may be homour for some. Please stick to the issues. It is not about having a go at the fairer sex.

flickerx

sexist sh1t.

and people wonder why less women participate in internet boards.

Rabies

flickerx wrote: »

sexist sh1t.

and people wonder why less women participate in internet boards.

calm down there loike

Jabcity

ah come on a dry sh!tes, it was funny

but just in case people think its unfair, this should make it fair

Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men
1. Its enjoyable hard or soft.

2. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better.

3. It doesnt mind if you take your anger out on it.

4. You always want to swallow.

5. It wont complain if you share it with friends.

6. Its quick and convenient.

7. You can enjoy it more than once.

8. It comes already protectively wrapped.

9. You can make it as large as you want.

10. If you dont finish it you can save it for later.

11. Its easier to get the kind you want.

12. You can comparison shop.

13. Its easier to find in shop

14. You can put it away when youve had enough.

15. You know yours has never been eaten before.

16. It wont complain if you chew on it.

17. It comes chocolate flavoured

18. You always know when to get rid of it.

19. You can return it--satisfaction is guaranteed.

20. Its always ready to go.

21. You wont get arrested if you eat it in public.

22. You dont have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.

23. It wont wake you up because its hard.

24. You dont have to find an excuse not to eat it.

25. You can tell how much youve eaten without sounding like youre bragging.

26. It wont take up room in your bed.

27. Its easy to pick up.

28. You never have unwanted cookie dough chasing you around.

29. You know what the extra weight is from.

30. It wont get jealous if you pick up another one.

31. It never has an insecurity problem with its size.

32. It is very pliable.

33. You can sculpt it into ANY form you want.

patmac

flickerx wrote: »

sexist sh1t.

and people wonder why less women participate in internet boards.

Down with that sort of thing.

You seem a bit sensitive for the Interweb tbh.

JOL

Watch out Flickerx, you could be No. 30 on the List.

PeadarofAodh

flickerx wrote: »

sexist sh1t.

and people wonder why less women participate in internet boards.

Oh come on! There are a million and one comedy lists about how X is better than men/women, you need to get out more!

dak

dohouch wrote: »

(Mods, transfer to Humour if you think it belongs there,thanks)

Top 29 ways bicycles are better than women

1. Bicycles don't get pregnant.
2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.
3. Bicycles don't have parents.
4. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
5. You can share your bicycles with your friends.
6. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you've ridden.
7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.
8. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you have now.
9. Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles.
10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.
11. You'll never hear, "Suprise, you're goning to own a new bicycle"
unless you go out and buy one yourself.
12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with
it.
15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.
16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.
17. If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don't have to apologize
before you ride it again.
18. You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it wont get sore.
19. You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get
frustrated.
20. Your parents wont remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump
it.
21. Bicycles don't get headaches.
22. Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
23. Your bicyle never wants a night out with other bicycles.
24. Bicycles don't care if you're late.
25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
26. If your bicycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better
parts.
27. You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without
having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
28. The only protection you need to wear when riding your bicycle is a
decent helment.
29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you
had the last time you were on your bicycle.

Are you taking us all for a ride ?

A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can't do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and puts it in a cage, still uncounsciousness.
When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says: "****, I must have killed the biker".