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Temptation!

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  • 23-06-2008 10:04pm
    #1
    fifomania
    Closed Accounts Posts: 606 ✭✭✭


    Has anyone found it happen that there are in a relationship but are really attracted to other people??


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    #2
    omb0wyn5ehpij9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,095 ✭✭✭✭omb0wyn5ehpij9


    Finding somebody attractive and being tempted to go off with another person are 2 very different things....


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    #3
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    fifomania wrote: »
    Has anyone found it happen that there are in a relationship but are really attracted to other people??

    You wouldnt be human unless you did. Look, but dont touch. If you are tempted to, work on the relationship or give it up.


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    #4
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    Nope never!


    DON'T DO IT!

    :)


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    #5
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    fifomania wrote: »
    Has anyone found it happen that there are in a relationship but are really attracted to other people??

    No, I've noticed other people are good looking, amazing looking, drop dead gorgeous looking, but I haven't been attracted to them.


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    #6
    Loopy
    Registered Users Posts: 12,220 ✭✭✭✭Loopy


    fifomania wrote: »
    Has anyone found it happen that there are in a relationship but are really attracted to other people??

    Something wrong if that's the case. If you want to act on it I mean. No harm in looking, most people do. Different story if you want to jump their bones;)


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    #7
    MJOR
    Registered Users Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭MJOR


    looptheloop wrote: »
    Something wrong if that's the case. If you want to act on it I mean. No harm in looking, most people do. Different story if you want to jump their bones;)
    +1


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    #8
    who's yer one?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 106 ✭✭who's yer one?


    nothing wrong with looking at the menu :D

    it becomes a problem if you're constantly looking at other people and never thinking about the one you're with. if its just a case of admiring the aesthetics of another person, no harm done


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    #9
    Crumble Froo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    fifomania wrote: »
    Has anyone found it happen that there are in a relationship but are really attracted to other people??

    other people in general, or one specific ither person?


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    #10
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Not until things were obviously going wrong. It was a sign.


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    #11
    Zee Deveel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭Zee Deveel


    I did stray from what is now the most wonderful relationship. Basically, things were going wrong and we weren't communicating, so it was a gratifying way to forget about things for a while. Wasn't til I picked the fling over the boyfriend that I realised how much I'd had to lose, and after a few shaky months, we managed to sort out all our issues, and he's managed to forgive me.

    OP, I say think very very hard about where you are with your boyfriend right now, and about where you want to go with it. How much does he mean to you? How would you feel to lose him? Are there problems between ye that you could actually talk out, it's just they'd be difficult conversations?

    Try not to leave yourself in 'vulnerable' situations, where you might get drunk and do something you'd regret. After that, I can only advise you sort out your priorities. If you're not happy with your boyfriend, end it. Don't just string him along, and don't just keep cruising, hoping it'll all sort itself out.


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    #12
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    I have been tempted, sorely tempted, in the past to stray in a relationship. Things at the time were particularly bad and had been for a while. I'm glad that i didn't as it means i can sit here now and type this and know that i, at the very least, did everything i could to dedicate myself to that person, our life and relationship.


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    #13
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,150 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I've been in the same boat as Dragan and luckily like him approached it the same way.

    Being attracted to others is natural, but for me at least it's the level of it. Going "phowaaar" in your head is fine, but thinking, "wow I really want to get with her" is worlds apart. The latter is a bad sign IMHO.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #14
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    No, never


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    #15
    litup
    Registered Users Posts: 361 ✭✭litup


    As everyone else as said fancying someone else in a superficial sense is fine, even normal. I regularly check out other people!

    The difference is if you actually want it to go further. I have been tempted myself in the past and it has always been a sign that something within my relationship wasn't working. In fact, it has been an early warning system in the past (ie, wow, I really need to put some time/effort into my relationship before this escaltes).

    So maybe take these temptations as that, an opportunity to really look at your relationship and, if you decide it is worth working on, identifying the areas where you need to concentrate.

    I think Crumble Froo asked a good question, is this a general thing or do you have feelings for one person in paticular?


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    #16
    LadyE
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    I think its ok to think "whooaaaa he's fricken lovely" at someone when your in a relationship..Read the menu, but dont order as such.

    What really confuses me if when you hear of people going off with someone when they are in a relationship and their excuse it "But we were in a bad place, going thru a rough patch" doesnt sit with me.

    Why would you ever let it get to that place where you are willing to throw it all away for a quick kiss/fumble. If that happens then deep down you dont want to be with that person.

    Or the drunk excuses :rolleyes: You always know what you are doing when you are drunk..well I am anyway.

    I would also agree to let the temptations let you evaluate your relationship, and if you think its worth fighting for then try your best to work it out while you can!


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    #17
    Quality
    Registered Users Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    I am definitely able to appreciate a nice specimen of man.

    I can find someone attractive, but not be attracted to them in so far as doing the dirty on the oh.


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    #18
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,241 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    There's a difference between lust and love. Love has commitment, where you might look, but not touch!


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    #19
    jellie
    Registered Users Posts: 15,503 ✭✭✭✭jellie


    Never even been tempted. id look at guys & think they were hot but when im in love ive never for a second wanted someone else. nice & flattering when they want you though! :D (& doesnt it always happen when you HAVE someone? When youre single noone wants you! feast or famine :()


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    #20
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Yes but would never be worth what it would do to my relationship


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    #21
    mahamageehad
    Registered Users Posts: 4,673 ✭✭✭mahamageehad


    BrynW wrote: »
    Finding somebody attractive and being tempted to go off with another person are 2 very different things....

    for the first 2 yeras of my now finished relationship I also saw other attractive people and could appreciate them. People....plural. However in our final 8 months together i started to really notice 1 guy in particular. I tried to ignore it but it didnt work. Now i'm with that guy and realise how unsuited me and my ex had become.

    The moral of the story....if you consider cheating on your other half, the relationship is over, whether you want to admit it or not. But its ok and completely normal to fancy other people as long as you dont do something about it!!


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    #22
    Star Lord
    Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    Silverfish wrote: »
    No, I've noticed other people are good looking, amazing looking, drop dead gorgeous looking, but I haven't been attracted to them.

    ^ This.

    The day you stop looking is the day you know you're past it, but being attracted and tempted to pursue it further are very different things. I've looked, noticed attractive people, but in a relationship the thought of anything further doesn't even enter my mind.


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    #23
    omb0wyn5ehpij9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,095 ✭✭✭✭omb0wyn5ehpij9


    LadyE wrote: »
    I think its ok to think "whooaaaa he's fricken lovely" at someone when your in a relationship..Read the menu, but dont order as such.

    What really confuses me if when you hear of people going off with someone when they are in a relationship and their excuse it "But we were in a bad place, going thru a rough patch" doesnt sit with me.

    Why would you ever let it get to that place where you are willing to throw it all away for a quick kiss/fumble. If that happens then deep down you dont want to be with that person.

    Or the drunk excuses :rolleyes: You always know what you are doing when you are drunk..well I am anyway.

    I would also agree to let the temptations let you evaluate your relationship, and if you think its worth fighting for then try your best to work it out while you can!

    Well said! I agree :)


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    #24
    LadyE
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    BrynW wrote: »
    Well said! I agree :)

    Thank you :)


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    #25
    omb0wyn5ehpij9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,095 ✭✭✭✭omb0wyn5ehpij9


    LadyE wrote: »
    Thank you :)

    No problemo :) I just agreed with you on another thread aswell.....you're going to think i'm stalking you :p lol


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    #26
    LadyE
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    BrynW wrote: »
    No problemo :) I just agreed with you on another thread aswell.....you're going to think i'm stalking you :p lol

    So I see.

    Im right alll the time :D:D:D:D


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    #27
    omb0wyn5ehpij9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,095 ✭✭✭✭omb0wyn5ehpij9


    LadyE wrote: »
    Im right alll the time :D:D:D:D

    Typical womanly comment :rolleyes:









    Joke!!! :p


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    #28
    LadyE
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    Its true!

    Your 1000th post was slagging me :(


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    #29
    omb0wyn5ehpij9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,095 ✭✭✭✭omb0wyn5ehpij9


    LadyE wrote: »
    Its true!

    Your 1000th post was slagging me :(

    Eh sorry about that! But at least it's an interesting land mark post :p


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    #30
    LadyE
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭LadyE


    BrynW wrote: »
    Eh sorry about that! But at least it's an interesting land mark post :p

    Ill hunt yo down on my 1000th so..do the same...

    *insert evil smiley*


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