My beautiful dog... gone

BeerWolf

Made a post asking for advise on her last month. This morning my dog Sally, a beautiful 1 1/2 year old Spring Spaniel / Pointer cross, reacted badly to an anesthetic used on her while being spayed and died from it.

How incredibly ironic, aside from the prevention of puppies, that a common procedure that is supposedly to help prevent cancers and such... kills my dog during the process.

I am seriously hating myself for bringing her to the vet, as I was the one who suggested to get her fixed.

Because of me, Sally is gone.

I got her a few months ago from the Shelter, as I felt ready of getting another dog after losing George [a springer spaniel, lived to 14] back in March 2006. I waited two years before getting another dog, so losing her not too long after I felt ready is a serious wrench to me heart.


Sally, to what I was told from those taking care of her before I got her, had an abusive owner and needed to be rehabilitated as she was afraid of people. It took me awhile to get her trust, and when I did she was an incredibly affectionate dog.

When she got used to the people around her, she opened up and from there on became an endless ball of energy and life, becoming incredibly happy [living in the countryside helps with all the open space]. You never see her staying still for any moment, and those moments when she did her tail wouldn't.

She had an odd way of greeting you when she saw you, where she would show her front teeth in a weird sort of smile. Often she would stand up against you, then spin around so you could give her a belly rub while being hugged upright. And when asked would immediately jump onto your chest to be picked up. She was a real affectionate baby full of love.

Another cute trait of hers was her fetish with shoes, particularly mine. Whenever she went to rest or sleep, she would surround herself with my shoes... be it on her mattress or couch. She never chewed on them, they were a comforter to her. How often I spent my time looking for shoes, though predictable spots, if she managed to get her maw on them if a door was left open and went outside.

And now she's gone.

I've laid her to rest in her favorite area, the lawn out back between the barn, greenhouse and children's play area, where she so often ran around at - in particular chasing the swallows that were miles high.


God I really miss her already.

And for the short time she's been with me, I never once thought of taking a picture of her.

How I hate myself...

charlesD

I am really sorry to hear that. I know it must be very hard. Do not take it to hard that you did not take any pictures though, because it is not something that you can change now.

fits

I'm really sorry to hear that Beerwolf. How unlucky you were.

Dont hate yourself. You made what you knew to be the best decision at the time. Adverse reactions to anaesthetic are extremely rare.

I lost a young horse last year and dont have a decent photo of him either so I can sympathise with you on that one.

anniehoo

Oh thats such a sad story but honestly dont beat yourself up over it. She had a great life for the short time she was with you and reactions are so rare to anaesthesia, the risk of ovarian cancer from not spaying her was a greater risk than complications from that! She wouldve been asleep and felt no pain or anything so console yourself in the fact that you were only looking out for her best intentions and knew she was loved!

You cant think like that . it must be horrible for you to go though this. I saw what my parents were like after bringing my dog to be put down.

To be honest i dont really know what to say but you were doing it for the right reason . So dont regret it.

Dilly

I am so so sorry to hear that.

Be assured though that by the sounds of it you gave a young dog who had only known abuse a wonderful, happy time in which she learned to trust people again - even if it was short.

Well done you for making a difference and making her happy.

Sharpshooter

l'm heartsore after reading Sallys story, and really do feel for you.
You're mind will have lots of images of her l'm sure,so
keep remembering her and keep seeing her in her
favorite places,and hopefully in time you'll smile at one.
The way you feel right now,you might think it will never
happen,but l reckon it will.
Have you inquired at the shelter whether they took
a photo of her,sometimes they do,you never know.

cowzerp

Sorry for your loss, it was not your fault
if more dogs where spayed we would not have such a rescue problem in ireland-dont blame yourself, you where just unlucky..sorry again.

Rory123

Our dogs completely rely upon us to call the shots for them. So there is always going to be a chance that we have something to do with the situation when they come to the end of the line.

I know how you feel BeerWolf. 2 and a half years ago I let my mini dacshund, Ruby, out for a few mins to eat, drink and go to the toilet. She was in heat at the time so I had to keep her in a lot more than usual. After about 5 mins I went out to call her. We eventually found her out on the road. She had strayed as Dax bitches often seek out dogs when in heat. I'm a normal thick bloke, and I cried, in bed, for 3 days straight. She was my best friend and I still can't really talk about her.

Anyway, this thread is about you... Just remember that you were trying to do what was best for your dog.
Things will eventually get easier. You'll probably never be able to replace Sally, but some day you will be able to take on the responsibility again.
Stay stong, I'll be thinking of you.

luckat

So sorry for you, BeerWolf. You did the very best thing for your dog, the right, responsible thing. If she was allergic to anaesthetic, she could just as easily have died after having pups. It was just her terrible luck.

Just grieve her away and let her go, poor little love. Don't blame yourself.

lightening

So sorry.

Fair play to you for getting a dog from a shelter.
Fair play to you for neutering/spaying.
Fair play to you for loving the dog and giving it a good home.
Fair play to you for getting her out of a horrible life.
Fair play to you for laying her to rest with dignity.

A lot of dogs don't get that sort of treatment! At least she had a good end to a short life instead of a long life of misery. I'm gutted for you. You did everything right and it just didn't work out. Sorry.

Clare Bear

So sorry to hear about Sally Beerwolf Please don't hate yourself, you were doing the right thing. I trained and worked as a Veterinary Nurse and you were doing the right thing for her health, how were you to know that she would have a bad reaction to the anaesthetic (this only happened twice in our surgery the year I was there, I still remember both owner's faces when we had to tell them ), you were doing what you thought was best for Sally. She didn't suffer, think of it that she died in her sleep and her final days after a horrible life with her previous owner were very happy ones thanks to you. You should be proud of yourself, don't beat yourself up, you could never have known this would happen. I'll be thinking of you, it's like losing a best friend I know but it is not your fault, think of how happy you made a previously miserable dog, you did great. Take care.

iguana

The most important thing is not to blame yourself. A year and a half ago my husband came home from working a night-shift and decided he would walk our 6 month old springers before he went to bed. On the walk one of the pups, Dinny, got poisoned and died a few days later. Apparently some crazy person had left poison down and our Dinny was one of 3 dogs to get killed.

My husband still blames himself for deciding to walk them that morning. But you can't blame yourself for an innocent action. You only tried to do what was best for your dog, just as my husband only wanted to treat our boys to an extra walk. And we have to console ourselves that we gave him the best, albeit short, life we could have given him.

The other thing I'd recommend is not to discount getting another dog in the future. Our other boy Dougal was so lonely without his brother we decided to get another dog a little earlier than we would have otherwise. And our ne fellow, Toby, has helped ease our loss.

judas101

Really sorry to hear this.

: (

BeerWolf

Thank you all for the incredibly kind responces, I've taken them all to heart. Unfortunately I've been living the past few years in a bottomless depression with everything that has happened - being at a knife's edge as it is, this last event might be enough to push me over it.



I am growing weary of this facade of hiding behind a happy, ''nothing is wrong'' face... be it online or in person. I'm pretty sure no one would even be aware of it, I guess it became somewhat second natured holding it up for so long.





I just don't know what else so say, other than that I'm afraid of what I might do.

~Thalia~

Beerwolf - I am so so sorry to hear about your lovely girl Sally but although obviously you are devastated, you can be sure that even though what has happened to her is unfortunate in the extreme and exceptionally rare. You were doing the right thing by her and you had her best interestsat heart.
For what time she had with you she may have forgotten her sad past and she would have loved the chance you gave to her to live a happy, healthy life free of fear and confident in knowing that she was properly LOVED very very much. She is at the Rainbow Bridge now telling all the other doggies how you were her saviour.

Please not matter how hard things may seem don't think of doing anything silly. Vent all you like on here and you know you need to stay around because eventually in time there might be another little Sally in need of your love & care to pull them through the hard times.

fits

There are a lot of people here who would understand how you feel. The presence of a dog can have amazing therapeutic effects and poor Sally was taken from you at a tough time sooner than she should.

In time you will be able to remember the good times you had with her, and the pain will lessen, trust me on this. And who knows, some time maybe you will find another doggy companion who will never replace her but will possibly bring you their own joy.

For now just take comfort in the fact that she didnt feel any pain, and you gave her a good life in the end.

Lauragoesmad

BeerWolf wrote: »

Thank you all for the incredibly kind responces, I've taken them all to heart. Unfortunately I've been living the past few years in a bottomless depression with everything that has happened - being at a knife's edge as it is, this last event might be enough to push me over it.



I am growing weary of this facade of hiding behind a happy, ''nothing is wrong'' face... be it online or in person. I'm pretty sure no one would even be aware of it, I guess it became somewhat second natured holding it up for so long.




I just don't know what else so say, other than that I'm afraid of what I might do.

Hi Beerwolf.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog. Its such a tragedy that an owner that did everything right could end up in this situation. My only consolation for you is that your dog had such a good life with you, even though it may have been a short one. Most dogs never get to run around in open spaces and are not loved in a way like you loved Sally. So she was a very lucky little dog to have come across an owner like you.
Please don't do anything stupid. If not for yourself then for the other dogs in the future that might be lucky enough to have you as an owner. The world needs as many people as possible who love their pets like you do.
I really think you should get another dog very soon as I think from the way you talked about Sally it would be a travesty that a person with so much love to give an animal should not have one.
Good luck and all the best.
Laura.

iguana

BeerWolf wrote: »

I am growing weary of this facade of hiding behind a happy, ''nothing is wrong'' face... be it online or in person. I'm pretty sure no one would even be aware of it, I guess it became somewhat second natured holding it up for so long.





I just don't know what else so say, other than that I'm afraid of what I might do.

If you are feeling like this I suggest you find somebody to talk to. Bottling things up can sometimes be very destructive. Is there a friend or a family member who you trust? Or if not perhaps have a chat with your gp about seeing a counsellor. I know that might seem extreme but getting someone to listen to how you are really feeling can help a great deal.

If you talk to someone you know, I would recommend an animal lover though. Some people don't understand how much we can love our pets and the last thing you need is to have someone who can't understand you tell you to just cop on.

luckat

BeerWolf, if you're living in a depression that goes on and on, and if you're eating right and getting lots of exercise in open air, then it's a medical problem. Really, look for medical help - there's no point in enduring misery when there's medicine you can take.

Don't think of suicide. Where would your lovely dog have been if you hadn't been there to take care of her and give her a happy life.

You could do the same for another lonely dog now. I know you don't even want to think of it, but if you fostered another needy dog, you'd be doing a good thing.

artieanna

Losing your dog is one of many things that you have had to get through and I am truely sorry. You seem to be feeling very low and I really think it would help you alot to see your gp and tell him what you are going through. Don't put it off because it important that you look after yourself.

You have been a good kind owner to your dog and it was really sad that your sally died in a situation that was really for her good.

Take care

Alfasudcrazy

My God Beerwolf it was hard reading that so I just know how you feel. I had to make the decision to take my babies to be neutered too and it was the biggest fear I had that something might go wrong.

You must not beat yourself up over it though as it was not your fault - as others said you were doing what was best for the dog.

I too was heart broken when my first dobie died from cancer and could not even think of getting another dog for 10 years. Looking back on that now I think it was 10 wasted years when I could have given a good home to one or more dogs and received all the enjoyment and feel good factor owning dogs gives.

Please get another dog soon. It will never replace Sally just as I know my three beautiful dogs can never replace my Jacko. But it helps make the loss a bit easier to bear.

~Thalia~

Hi Beerwolf - How are you doing today?

_feedback_

Really sorry to hear that. You had only the best intentions so don't blame yourself please!!!

Hope you're feeling better soon

lightening

Look at how you feel about the dog, imagine how everyone is going to feel if you do something nuts. Go and have a chat to someone. Maybe think about rehoming another four legged pal?

BeerWolf

~Thalia~ wrote: »

Hi Beerwolf - How are you doing today?

Can't say I'm feeling any better, naturally, with it still being a few days now. Still, I've taken everyone's advise here... though it's pretty hard - I'm not an open person and I really can't help that, have been all my life.


I'll eventually overcome this, but right now what hurts me the most (And I've mentioned this already) is that I got Sally when I felt ready of getting another after I lost George [a Springer Spaniel, whom lived to 14] 2 years ago. So to lose her all too soon is incredibly unbearable.

Freddie59

BeerWolf wrote: »

Can't say I'm feeling any better, naturally, with it still being a few days now. Still, I've taken everyone's advise here... though it's pretty hard - I'm not an open person and I really can't help that, have been all my life.


I'll eventually overcome this, but right now what hurts me the most (And I've mentioned this already) is that I got Sally when I felt ready of getting another after I lost George [a Springer Spaniel, whom lived to 14] 2 years ago. So to lose her all too soon is incredibly unbearable.

Sorry to hear about your dog B. Two very good friends of mine lost a lovely Pug which they had for 11 years recently. It is truly like a death in the family.

Rodney Trotter

With all due respect to the contributors here, the death of an animal is NOT like a death in a family. People need some perspective on life. A dog, is an animal, as is a cat, or a hamster. Do not over-react over the death of an animal.

Crap happens. A dog died on the operating table, that's all. Get another pup, a different breed, and take it from there.

I shudder to think how some people would react if there was genuine tragedy in his/her life.

Freddie59

Rodney Trotter wrote: »

With all due respect to the contributors here, the death of an animal is NOT like a death in a family. People need some perspective on life. A dog, is an animal, as is a cat, or a hamster. Do not over-react over the death of an animal.

Crap happens. A dog died on the operating table, that's all. Get another pup, a different breed, and take it from there.

I shudder to think how some people would react if there was genuine tragedy in his/her life.

OK - I'll rephase that. It is not as important as a human death - but can have the same impact psychologically. And believe me - I have lost immediate family members at a very young age - so I know what I'm talking about.

fits

Rodney Trotter wrote: »

With all due respect to the contributors here, the death of an animal is NOT like a death in a family. People need some perspective on life. A dog, is an animal, as is a cat, or a hamster. Do not over-react over the death of an animal.

Crap happens. A dog died on the operating table, that's all. Get another pup, a different breed, and take it from there.

I shudder to think how some people would react if there was genuine tragedy in his/her life.

Of course humans are more important. But I must admit, the loss of one of my dogs would probably effect me more psychologically than the loss of certain (not close) family members. Certainly in the short term.

I dont think people make the choice to 'over react' as you put it. They feel how they feel. They shouldnt feel the need to apologise over that just because their pet isnt human. Its not as easy as 'get another pup'.

Freddie59

fits wrote: »

Of course humans are more important. But I must admit, the loss of one of my dogs would probably effect me more psychologically than the loss of certain (not close) family members. Certainly in the short term.

I dont think people make the choice to 'over react' as you put it. They feel how they feel. They shouldnt feel the need to apologise over that just because their pet isnt human. Its not as easy as 'get another pup'.

I entirely agree. There are many, many people whose only companion is their pet (particularly elderly people). They are their companion. And mean the world to them.