The laundry thread.

Tex Diablo

Any laundrey related questions you can ask here..

So if you have any issues regarding washing, ironing, drying clothes and removing stains ask me, I'm the expert.

You can also ask me about washing machines, you know the good and the bad, I could save you a fortune.

Pighead

Can you tell Pighead how to remove the blood from his hands. The blood of a thousand corpses, killed before their time. Blood that seemed just like you'rs or Pigheads but blood that will not go away.

Oh and if you have anything for cum stains on socks that would be great as well.

Pompey Magnus

How wierd, I was going to search the web today to find out how to remove blue ink from a white shirt (lousy fountain pen). I also have a guy coming to have a look at my washer dryer to see why it doesn't actually dry clothes, they come out cold and wet. Fire ahead Mr Expert.

c - 13

I cant iron to save my life I learned recently. Nothing I can do about it though ...

Tex Diablo

Pighead wrote: »

Can you tell Pighead how to remove the blood from his hands. The blood of a thousand corpses, killed before their time. Blood that seemed just like you'rs or Pigheads but blood that will not go away.

Oh and if you have anything for cum stains on socks that would be great as well.

Sorry,can't help with profound and deep rooted psychological problems,but if the socks are heavily cum-stained, steep them in some diluted bleach for about 2 hours,then stick them in the washer on a 60 degree wash and hey presto, brand new!

Tex Diablo

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

How wierd, I was going to search the web today to find out how to remove blue ink from a white shirt (lousy fountain pen). I also have a guy coming to have a look at my washer dryer to see why it doesn't actually dry clothes, they come out cold and wet. Fire ahead Mr Expert.

Lay the stained area on top of a clean dry white towel. Apply water to the ink stain and blot with another clean white cloth, removing the stain as you blot. Apply your normal liquid laundry detergent on to the ink stain and allow the garment to sit for 3-5 minutes.
Wash in the warmest water that the fabric can tolerate.
Dryer probably needs a new thermostat.

Abi

Pighead wrote: »

Can you tell Pighead how to remove the blood from his hands. The blood of a thousand corpses, killed before their time. Blood that seemed just like you'rs or Pigheads but blood that will not go away.

Nitric acid should do the trick.

Oh and if you have anything for cum stains on socks that would be great as well.

Same, with a bit of elbow grease.

Sherifu

How can I get Daz whites without using Daz?

Slidey

Right, well here is the dealeyo

I have a bad cold and the auld marathon nose that wont stop running..

Well to save on tissues i just use the sleeve.. Its been going grand but a builld up has started to occur.

How do i get the old crustyness off without clogging the machine

I also spilt some chloroform on my comfort blankie... it was an industrial accident, nothing sinster, i keep smelling it to see has it worn off but i fall asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

LadyE

Tex Diablo wrote: »

Lay the stained area on top of a clean dry white towel. Apply water to the ink stain and blot with another clean white cloth, removing the stain as you blot. Apply your normal liquid laundry detergent on to the ink stain and allow the garment to sit for 3-5 minutes.
Wash in the warmest water that the fabric can tolerate.
Dryer probably needs a new thermostat.

You should actually soak it it milk for a period of time, add neat detergent to it..and wash as normal :D:D:D

LadyE

Sherifu wrote: »

How can I get Daz whites without using Daz?

Add dishwashing tablets to your wash..or neat white vinegar

binhead

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

How wierd, I was going to search the web today to find out how to remove blue ink from a white shirt (lousy fountain pen). I also have a guy coming to have a look at my washer dryer to see why it doesn't actually dry clothes, they come out cold and wet. Fire ahead Mr Expert.

Half load setting, cycle number ten. That makes my dickhead washer/dryer dry.

Pighead, only put on a half load when washing corpses, makes a great sound when they bounce around the machine, come out spick and span too.

wait..what was your question..

javaboy

Where's Flut? I'm sure he's been touching cloth more than once.

Captain Darling

Have a big curry stain on the front of a nice blue woolly jumper from a slobbery take away after far too pints. What do i do to shift it?

The fcuking thing will only fit a midget if i wash it in the machine.

Phuckmii

Can you come over and iron my shirts please?

Tex Diablo

LadyE wrote: »

You should actually soak it it milk for a period of time, add neat detergent to it..and wash as normal :D:D:D

Hang on a minute,who's the bloody laundry expert around here?
Me,that's who.Ifyou want to give advice about laundry start your own laundry thread!

Tex Diablo

Sherifu wrote: »

How can I get Daz whites without using Daz?

Buy a box of omo and a box of Daz,throw the omo in the bin and fill the empty box with Daz.Use as normal.

Tex Diablo

slideways wrote: »

Right, well here is the dealeyo

I have a bad cold and the auld marathon nose that wont stop running..

Well to save on tissues i just use the sleeve.. Its been going grand but a builld up has started to occur.

How do i get the old crustyness off without clogging the machine

I also spilt some chloroform on my comfort blankie... it was an industrial accident, nothing sinster, i keep smelling it to see has it worn off but i fall asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Soak it it milk for a period of time, add neat detergent to it..and hand wash as normal.

Tex Diablo

Infononymous wrote: »

Have a big curry stain on the front of a nice blue woolly jumper from a slobbery take away after far too pints. What do i do to shift it?

The fcuking thing will only fit a midget if i wash it in the machine.

Nothing can be done for curry stains unfortunately.Throw it in the bin and buy a bib.

wyndham

Do washing machines really live longer with Calgon?

Tex Diablo

wyndham wrote: »

Do washing machines really live longer with Calgon?

Good question Wyndham.The answer is,yes they do.

Abi

How come?

But the burning question is, do the cheapo ones work just as good?

Tex Diablo

Abigayle wrote: »

How come?

But the burning question is, do the cheapo ones work just as good?

Calgon prevents calcite crystal growth,allowing the calcium to be maintained in a soluble form when the water passes through the machine thus preventing the build-up of scale, which eventually damages the macine.
The cheapo ones don't work as well because they don't have as much of the main ingredient sodium hexametaphosphate.

Slidey

Listen here tex

I have your cunning plan figured out.

You're from the dairy board and it is all a scheme to get people using more milk.

You'lll have the feckin vegans trottin back to the shops buying milk to get carrot stains off their fair trade ponchos....

Black Swan

I hate doing laundry! Sometimes I will pre-soak my brain with a pint or two before loading the clothes into the washer.

Hermy

Hey Tex
How do I go about cleaning a leather jacket?

boogle

I got a tar-like substance on my lovely cream sweatshirt. I immediately treated the stain by pouring white spirits all over it and then throwing it in the washing machine. It came out lovely and clean but it stank of white spirits. I washed it 3 more times and now the jumper smells ok but the inside of my washing machine smells like white spirits! I don't want to wash any more clothes in there as I wish to avoid smelling like paint thinners at work...

ArmaniJeanss

Can you tell me the difference between 'biological' and 'nonbiological' washing powders, in laymans terms? Is either 'better'?

Which is the 'best' washing product, I suspect they are all basically the same?

Cheers.

Washing powders are made from the byproducts of the petrochemical industry? Right?
So are they going to start getting scarce too?
Are we going to have to ration clean clothes?

Capt'n Midnight

Abigayle wrote: »

Nitric acid should do the trick..

Pfff...
it's three parts Nitric acid to one part Hdrochloric acid if you want to do it properly

How long should an un-married mother be kept in a Magdalene Laundry ?

Ross_Mahon

I have black marks on the back of my white T-shirt, it could be oil, anything to take it out? Normal washing doesn't work...

Abi

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Pfff...
it's three parts Nitric acid to one part Hdrochloric acid if you want to do it properly

Well, I dont think we've seen Pighead since my version. But I'll make a note of it

LadyE

Tex Diablo wrote: »

Hang on a minute,who's the bloody laundry expert around here?
Me,that's who.Ifyou want to give advice about laundry start your own laundry thread!

My bad

But you really should be giving the correct advice


/runs and hides

Quality

My Oh, has a habit of gypping into his socks, Then he rolls them into a ball and leaves them in the laundry basket....

He rolls all of his socks this way before he throws them in the basket, and it is time consuming for me to unroll them...


My question is, If I dont unroll the socks will the gyp wash out of them?

Quality

AlmightyCushion

Quality wrote: »

My Oh, has a habit of gypping into his socks, Then he rolls them into a ball and leaves them in the laundry basket....

He rolls all of his socks this way before he throws them in the basket, and it is time consuming for me to unroll them...


My question is, If I dont unroll the socks will the gyp wash out of them?

Quality

You could just give him a blowjob instead of forcing him to use a sock to **** into. Everyone's a winner then, he gets a blowjob and you have less laundry to do.

Abi

Quality wrote: »

My question is, If I dont unroll the socks will the gyp wash out of them?

Umm. you dont have to wear them?


It beggars the question though Quality, how comes you're not puttin' out?

Quality

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

You could just give him a blowjob instead of forcing him to use a sock to **** into. Everyone's a winner then, he gets a blowjob and you have less laundry to do.

Abigayle wrote: »

Umm. you dont have to wear them?


It beggars the question though Quality, how comes you're not puttin' out?

He has a foot fetish...

Are you guys happy now...

Abi

Quality wrote: »

He has a foot fetish...

Are you guys happy now...

So long as he doesnt have a foot fungus you are flyin' :pac:




Good call AC. But if the girl had he rwits about her, she wouldnt be the one doing the laundry



Teh sex makes teh rules.

entropi

Abigayle wrote: »

Same, with a bit of elbow grease.

Its the elbow grease that got them there in the first place

Abi

Death Sentence wrote: »

Its the elbow grease that got them there in the first place

I like the cut of your jib DS :cool:

longshanks

quiet the dashing young go-getter isn't he

Abi

longshanks wrote: »

quiet the dashing young go-getter isn't he

Shhhh..

Stercus Accidit

I have a challenging one.

I have a few shirts ruined, washed several times but the stains aren't coming out and I was hoping after finding this thread in AH that you can all figure it out.
The stains are lithium grease (basically a black grease), varnish/woodstain and black automotive paint, all on the three shirts, one white, one grey, and the third a mystery colour(I cant remember tbfh).

Fire ahead Tex and his young pretenders

Red Hand

I know someone who REALLY loves to do laundry!:p

HungryFish

Can you tell me how to get perspiration smells out of my clothes? I wear a shirt to work every day and even though I use a bio detergent, my shirts never come out of the machine smelling completely fresh. I've tried bread soda with vinegar (was a little explosive) and I've tried lemon juice but nothing seems to work. Can you give me any tips?

ToddyDoody

Do women really get pleasured by sitting on the dryer?

Johro

I have these special overalls that are covered in blood, what's the best way to get rid of all traces of of it? Same re car upholstery. And carpet in boot.

cml387

Stercus Accidit wrote: »

I have a challenging one.

I have a few shirts ruined, washed several times but the stains aren't coming out and I was hoping after finding this thread in AH that you can all figure it out.
The stains are lithium grease (basically a black grease), varnish/woodstain and black automotive paint, all on the three shirts, one white, one grey, and the third a mystery colour(I cant remember tbfh).

Fire ahead Tex and his young pretenders

Either you go to some interesting parties,or you actually do hard work for a living.

I would suggest using the clothes to start a fire.

Johro

I tried the Persil Care line, but they hung up on me.

Johro

cml387 wrote: »

Either you go to some interesting parties,or you actually do hard work for a living.

I would suggest using the clothes to start a fire.

Brilliant. Who needs the Persil Care line.

cml387

"Random trivia: In order to combat the fact that clothing gradually turns yellow as fibres are damaged, modern laundry detergents contain dyes which fluoresce blue under ultraviolet light. The "bluey whiteness" really is exactly that!"

Taken from a google search.