Truly depressing article on men, women and work.

Kinetic^

Quality wrote: »

I will be grooming my daughter towards rich men when she is older. Definitely!!

LOL, LOL and MORE FÙCKING LOL!! Hopefully she rebels and goes for someone she genuinely likes rather then someone she wants for their money.



I agree with Dragan, money provides comfort not happiness.


Also Dragan, no point in having 2 stupid people in the relationship now is there. *chuckles*

Dragan

Kinetic^ wrote: »

Also Dragan, no point in having 2 stupid people in the relationship now is there. *chuckles*

Thats exactly why i need a smart one!! Help drag me up the ladder of life.

fits

I was thinking it sounded very 'Timesish'. They have their little agendas they like to push, that being one of them.

That said...

A friend of mine married a very rich man when she was 24. She has two children already and I'd say they'll have ten. Only the very rich can afford to have lots of children and only the very rich can afford to have only one person working. I'm sure there are lots of women who would love to have big families and raise the children themselves. And really you have to be wealthy to be able to do that (IMO).

I dont think many women marry for money as such, but it certainly doesnt make a man less attractive. Its the same as beauty wont make a woman less attractive. Really.. it is exactly the same

But I agree, the woman in that article needs a good kick in the bum.

I was travelling recently and realised just how much cr4p we think is necessary for living here. Its ridiculous.

Quality

Dragan, thats ok when its just you, But what do you say to your kids if you cant afford to eat? Or if you cant afford to pay your mortgage?

Money can buy a better quality of life. My children cost me a fortune and that is not childcare I am talking about. I want them to experience things in life. Football lessons, Dance lessons, Cubs, Music lessons all cost money as does the equipment that is needed in order to partake in them.

If you have money you can provide more options in life for your children... You make the right options and that in return gives happiness.

Quality

Kinetic^ wrote: »

LOL, LOL and MORE FÙCKING LOL!! Hopefully she rebels and goes for someone she genuinely likes rather then someone she wants for their money.

Ah she knows it already, she is 9. I tell her to go for rich men, who drive BMW's and make sure they have a nice holiday home for their mother in law to go to...

sunnyside

I'm not too surprised, women are always comparing themselves to other people.

Zulu

This womans issue wasn't "putting bread on the table for her children", it was having a champers reception for her 40th!

Kinetic^

Quality wrote: »

Ah she knows it already, she is 9. I tell her to go for rich men, who drive BMW's and make sure they have a nice holiday home for their mother in law to go to...

Are you a troll? seriously!

Dragan

Quality wrote: »

Dragan, thats ok when its just you, But what do you say to your kids if you cant afford to eat? Or if you cant afford to pay your mortgage?

I would simply say that surely you can also ( as i am sure you do ) breed within your children the desire for their own success?

When i was growing up we didn't exactly have money falling out of our pockets. I went a couple of birthdays with no presents and never once questioned why. I knew my parents loved me, the broke their backs to give me every opportuinity that was possible.

This was much better for me that simply being able to have everything i would have thought i wanted.

Millions of people out there currently struggle to pay their bills....does this mean they are not happy? I have never seen anything but a smile on my parents face, from a reasonably young age i was aware of my parents financial situation ( i went out and got myself jobs and summer work to be able to support various hobbies rather than ask my parents for money they would not have and in my parents eyes this entitled me to an explanation as to why i had taken this "incredibly mature action" as they called it ) and both my parents worked hard to bring in the money they did.

They never questioned each other, or why the got married, or why the fell in love and still are. Personally, i think i am incredibly lucky to have the parents that i have, people who have shown me nothing but love and understanding.

I wouldn't trade my parents and the money troubles they had when i was kid for anyone.

What i see my parents doing now is enjoying their life.....they are going on holidays they never took before, buying cars they never bought before. They have expertly and excellently raised 4 kids who, by the majority of standards, have done decent things with their lives, have good values, and are decent people.

My parents made the decisions to be parents and to have the kids they had, they cut back for themselves as they needed to provide for those kids and they stretched themselves when they had to.

Now they are in a position where all the hard work has payed off, they played the game as they chose to play it the same as anyone else and i don't think either of them would have asked for anything to have been different for us.

I know their kids sure as hell wouldn't.

Hard times will come, no matter what your situation in life, and i would rather have gone a birthday or two with no present rather than looking at an empty chair at the table wondering where my father was.

Idbatterim

In fairness to that article I can see bigtime where that wife is coming from! Women when choosing a life partner see the husband as the provider, they should go for the best they can!

Wibbs

Best post in this thread so far from Dragan.

fits

Dragan wrote: »

I wouldn't trade my parents and the money troubles they had when i was kid for anyone.

But would you have spared them the worry of those tight years?

I'm from a family of six, and every one of us went to university (four before the free fees days). At one stage they had three at university at one time. I know for a fact that it was a real financial struggle for my parents to provide their children with that. It was really tough on them.

My parents made the decisions to be parents and to have the kids they had, they cut back for themselves as they needed to provide for those kids and they stretched themselves when they had to.

I agree that a lot of people dont get this concept these days.

Hard times will come, no matter what your situation in life, and i would rather have gone a birthday or two with no present rather than looking at an empty chair at the table wondering where my father was.

You cant blame people for wanting the best of both worlds though.

Quality

Well I married for love.... Met my other half 13 years ago, and am still mad about him..

I went for the bulge at the front instead of the bulge at the back.

My sisters married into money, they are stay at home mams, have the big houses and the nice cars, the fancy holidays etc.
My brother also has done very well for himself, His wife stays at home.

I am jealous, that my sisters and sis in law can stay at home with their kids and not have to compromise their lifestyle. I dont think I would be human if I wasn't. And I am not willing to lie and say that a significant cash injection wouldn't make my life a lot easier.

Now I am happy at the moment... Dont get me wrong, But If I had more money... I could be a whole lot happier...

Maybe I'm missing something but having read that twice, to me it sounds like the author's just moaning about not having as much cash as her friends.

To me it's not about the great gender divide, she's also whinging about a friend who inherited a house.

Simple materialism really.

So many parents go so wrong by believing they know what's best for kids.
Small children don't give a crap that they're going on far-flung holidays three times a year, or that they're delivered to school in a 08-reg car. They don't care that they're wearing designer clothes.
Their parents care.

We didn't have much growing up but I had a wonderful childhood. I think at some point in your life (usually after the death of a parent or close friend) you realise what's really important in life. And it sure isn't a spanking new car/house in the country/weekend in NY.

As my dad says, nobody ever lay on their deathbed and regretted not spending more time at the office.

Jules

Guys please keep it plesent.

Red Hand

Quality wrote: »

Well I married for love.... Met my other half 13 years ago, and am still mad about him..

I went for the bulge at the front instead of the bulge at the back.

My sisters married into money, they are stay at home mams, have the big houses and the nice cars, the fancy holidays etc.
My brother also has done very well for himself, His wife stays at home.

I am jealous, that my sisters and sis in law can stay at home with their kids and not have to compromise their lifestyle. I dont think I would be human if I wasn't. And I am not willing to lie and say that a significant cash injection wouldn't make my life a lot easier.

Now I am happy at the moment... Dont get me wrong, But If I had more money... I could be a whole lot happier...

Wants always expand to soak up any surplus income. Your brother and sisters might have just the very outlook as you..."if only we had a bit more, things would be easier..." but they may not express it.

We didn't have alot growing up, but I I was lucky in that my father worked from home and my mother was a housewife, and though it was a financial strain for both of them, I think it was important for me and my siblings to grow up like that. My father died during my childhood, so I was lucky that I had time with him, and didn't see his chair at the table filled for only an hour a day.

Reku

I think some of you are coming down a little hard on Quality, while it's true money doesn't buy happiness it can allow for hope whereas it's absence means desperation.
The person who lives in comfort can cling to the, albeit misguided, hope that "maybe if I had X I'd be happy", whereas those who can barely afford to pay the bills will suffer the stress and desperation of trying to do so. I look at myself and my siblings, I've saved up quite a lot simply because I know nothing on this earth will make me happy, they're rarely not in debt to someone because they keep buying things in the hope it will make them happy, who would you really rather be the one with hope or the one with wisdom?
As long as you don't let it be your guiding drive the aspiration to material gain can be a useful distraction from things which can otherwise get to you and drag you down, don't let it compromise your morals and even if you are only chasing rainbows and phantoms, if it keeps you from skipping along the edge of the cliff no harm in clinging to the child's view of the world.

Dragan

fits wrote: »

But would you have spared them the worry of those tight years?

Sadly there will always be worry. It just the nature of the game. Often times more money will bring it own set of problems and worries.

One thing i got from my parents is to never deal in "would have/should have/could have". Things are what they are, we make our choices around what we think will bring us happiness.

If your careful sometimes you'll be right.

I want to make it really clear that i was not attacking Quality in anyway, i'm just letting her know as a parent what i thought as a child and still think as an adult about my parents who may have thought the same thing at times.

fits

Dragan wrote: »

Sadly there will always be worry. It just the nature of the game. Often times more money will bring it own set of problems and worries.

I dunno, I sometimes think this 'we were poor but happy' thing is overly romanticised. I certainly think my own parents are happier now that they are comfortable than they were then, when they were struggling financially.

I also noticed that only men thanked your post. Interesting that.

ntlbell

fits wrote: »

I dunno, I sometimes think this 'we were poor but happy' thing is overly romanticised. I certainly think my own parents are happier now that they are comfortable than they were then, when they were struggling financially.

I also noticed that only men thanked your post. Interesting that.

Parent's(everyone) have worries regardless of how much money they have...

having more money may remove a few small number of worries e.g. paying bills etc, but after that they have the same worries as anyone else..

as Dragan has stated having more money just gives you a different set of problems.

your parents are at a completley different stage of life now and it may not be being financially secure that's caused it. (their current state of happiness)

Regardless of your situation it's how you deal with it that will determine your happiness.

Dragan

fits wrote: »

I dunno, I sometimes think this 'we were poor but happy' thing is overly romanticised. I certainly think my own parents are happier now that they are comfortable than they were then, when they were struggling financially.

I also noticed that only men thanked your post. Interesting that.

I don't know. Maybe as the assumed "bread winner" men like the thought of a woman choosing them for reasons other than money?

I'm sure many people do over romanticise things. I have friends who speak lovingly at times of exs who treated them like ****.

Also, i never said we were "happy". I don't want to paint some glowing rosey picture of the Brady Bunch. We had the same ups and downs and problems as any other family, at times i'm pretty sure some of us were not happy.

Just not over money is all.

fits

fits wrote: »

I dunno, I sometimes think this 'we were poor but happy' thing is overly romanticised. I certainly think my own parents are happier now that they are comfortable than they were then, when they were struggling financially.

I also noticed that only men thanked your post. Interesting that.

I agree with Dragan.
I have great memories of my childhood, none of them related to money. Times were tough when I was growing up back in the eighties, it was hard for a lot of people and most of us turned out just fine.

I never knew mam was struggling to pay bills. Perhaps that says it all about their parenting skills, we were allowed to be kids and kids don't miss what they never had.

Crumble Froo

MIN2511 wrote: »

Why is she a ****? Because she wants more for her kids? Personally i want my kids to achieve more than i ever can.

oh please, like this is about what's best for the kids. this is about keeping up with the joneses, plain and simple.

i'd want my kids to achieve more than i have, but if waht they're after is the financial ups, then meh, i'd be disappointed. i'd rather have my fella here with me for most of the year, on a low salary, than him being away constnatly, but having a nice salary to make up for it.

Ginny

Dragans Post #40 in this thread could be about my family, except he's said everything so much better then I ever could.
Damn your articulation.

nomorebadtown

ah for **** sake, now i'm depressed . i'm training to be a teacher at the moment and reading that article has me thinking "if i am lucky enough to get married down the road wil my wife resent me for not pulling 100k+ per year or driving a fancy car?" even if we marry for love, after the seven year mark she'll probably look around at her mates (who have rich partners, obviously) and be thinking "i could have done so much better". i need a drink and a cry.

Quality

Oh Please I dont feel insulted at all by anyones comments here. I find it odd that more women would not like the whole glamorous lifestyle...

I find the idea of being looked after by my man very appealing.

My mother never worked a day in here life after the day she got married, We lived very comfortably and I had a great childhood, My mother was there for me every day after school.

I dont like the fact that I have to work and someone else has to look after my children. I will take a year off when the baby is born and that will be a financial struggle for us.

If I had money and could stay at home with my kids would I be happier. Hell Yes!!

ntlbell

Quality wrote: »

If I had money and could stay at home with my kids would I be happier. Hell Yes!!

I don't know anything about your finanical situation but in order for a mother to stay home when the main bread winner's income is average or slightly above average it should be easy enough to obtain..

serious lifestyle changes and sacrifices might have to be made but it's very possible.

I'm sure no sacrifice would be as difficult as not being around for your kids

sometimes it just needs a bit of creativity other times it means making sacrifices a lot of people aren't willing to make.

fits

ntlbell wrote: »

Parent's(everyone) have worries regardless of how much money they have...

having more money may remove a few small number of worries e.g. paying bills etc, but after that they have the same worries as anyone else..

as Dragan has stated having more money just gives you a different set of problems.

your parents are at a completley different stage of life now and it may not be being financially secure that's caused it. (their current state of happiness)
.

I think there is a level above which happiness does not increase with money, yes, but up to that level there is a correlation between money and happiness.

Dragan wrote: »

I don't know. Maybe as the assumed "bread winner" men like the thought of a woman choosing them for reasons other than money?

Also, i never said we were "happy". I don't want to paint some glowing rosey picture of the Brady Bunch. We had the same ups and downs and problems as any other family, at times i'm pretty sure some of us were not happy.

Just not over money is all.

I'm sure a woman would not like to be chosen for looks alone either. But that rarely happens does it? Its the package that matters... whether the man is rich or not.

And we certainly werent miserable, or poor either really tbh. 3 children away at uni at any one time would be a burden on anyone.

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm female and I agree with Dragan.
I have great memories of my childhood, none of them related to money. Times were tough when I was growing up back in the eighties, it was hard for a lot of people and most of us turned out just fine.

I never knew mam was struggling to pay bills. Perhaps that says it all about their parenting skills, we were allowed to be kids and kids don't miss what they never had.

I agree with a lot of what he said too. It was certainly a good post. And I suppose we are getting away from the original point of the writer of that article being a miserable and ungrateful person. She should either

a: ditch her friends and move to a poorer area where she can feel superior

or b: go to a poor country and see what its really like to be badly off.

This film should be compulsory viewing for everyone who thinks they have it bad...
http://www.thedevilsminer.com/index_new.html

Dragan

fits wrote: »

I agree with a lot of what he said too. It was certainly a good post. And I suppose we are getting away from the original point of the writer of that article being a miserable and ungrateful person. She should either

a: ditch her friends and move to a poorer area where she can feel superior

or b: go to a poor country and see what its really like to be badly off.

You see, this was the main issue i had with the article. As if the writer somehow regretted making the choices that she did and that her husband was somehow less that her friends.

I guess it just didn't sit well with me is all.

ntlbell

fits wrote: »

I think there is a level above which happiness does not increase with money, yes, but up to that level there is a correlation between money and happiness.

It's a very personal thing will always depend on the importance you put on money/personal possesions etc