Truly depressing article on men, women and work.

gabgab

stovelid wrote: »

The other thing about women who completely throw away their independence and career to 'catch' a rich man is that those men know they are in demand for a certain type of woman.

What happens if you get traded in for a younger, better looking model? I doubt that lunch, tennis and staying young/attractive for your man looks great on a C.V if you have to go back to supporting yourself.

+ 1

Wibbs

stovelid wrote: »

The other thing about women who completely throw away their independence and career to 'catch' a rich man is that those men know they are in demand for a certain type of woman.

What happens if you get traded in for a younger, better looking model? I doubt that lunch, tennis and staying young/attractive for your man looks great on a C.V if you have to go back to supporting yourself.

+2. Those at the extreme of the marry for money spectrum can be on shaky ground. I've seen it happen. Especially if they get hitched relatively young. The guy hits his mid 30's and may start to look around and find a replacement a lot easier than the woman. Or he has a string of affairs that she'll turn a blind eye to as she knows how precarious her position is, especially if they've no kids.

stovelid

Quality wrote: »

But I see my sisters having money without having to work for it. And you know what they say about the grass being greener.

Does your partner read boards?

Do you ever tell him that you would be a lot happier if you didn't have to work?

Quality

gabgab wrote: »

I know you have gotten a fiar bit of grief on this thread and I am not planning on giving you more, but how did you teach them the value of money??

All I wanted to come across with saying was that Money does make things easier on people and I can see where the girl in the article is coming from.

Now before you get carried away, I just want to point out I love my children very much. Their happiness is paramount to me. If they marry for love and have as good a relationship as My husband and I, I will be a very happy mammy.

Children these days have no regard for money. Mammy buy me this buy me that. My dd has learned that she has to earn her treats. She has a savings account in which I encourage her to save some of her pocket money in each week, Also when she comes looking for money for cd's, games or toys, I try to make it out as a reward or something that she can earn or save up for. I dont believe in just buying for her, A lot of kids these days are spoilt rotten and have no value for their toys. In this way she knows that she has earned it. She gets rewards for good school reports. Anything to encourage good behaviour.

I know, I cannot choose who my child goes out with. And I am not going to be stupid enough into fooling myself into thing that she will go for the type of guy I want for her. I also cannot make my child study or do well in college, maybe the whole career and executive lifestyle I have imagined for them wont come through either. I cannot force them into college either. But I can always dream...:o

Now as for the trophy wife comment. My sisters both had good jobs/careers before they married, They were lucky to fall in love with wealthy guys. The guys are normal everyday guys, very down to earth. They gave up there jobs after they had there 1st kids, never to return. Lucky for them they still have good lifestyles, Nice cars, lovely homes and not a gym membership in sight. They can afford to stay at home an look after their kids. I dunno, maybe they will go back to work after all the kids start school. But at the moment they can enjoy being there with there kids. I think it is nice that they can do this, without the burden of worrying about paying bills and compromising on lifestyle.

Anyhow, I hope that comes across a bit clearer today.. I know a few of my comments were ott yesterday and the responses from some people were a little unsavoury...

But its different when you have your own kids, you want the best for them... It will probably never be what they want.. But you can always dream.;)

Quality

stovelid wrote: »

Does your partner read boards?

Do you ever tell him that you would be a lot happier if you didn't have to work?

No he doesnt read boards, thank christ...:eek:

He knows I would be happy not to work. Its not that I am not happy working, I actually like my job. Its just I would be happy if I didnt have to work and still had my income coming in.

My working makes things easier on the both of us. It makes our lives more comfortable and allows us enjoy Life.

gabgab

Well the tone is a little different in that reply than some of the others, but hey it is the internet and all that.

but here is a quote I got from a very very rich man I met while working abroad in the hamptons:

"the problems are always the same, the numbers just get bigger...... never forget that....."

You suggested that you would encourage your daughter to go for the rich guy, with a nice house for mum in-law, whether tongue in cheek or not, its still a learned behaviour. We are a by-product of our surroundings, and as a result that message will ingrain to your daughter that a man that will provide a flashy car and holidays in flashy villa's is more important than a man that cant do those things....... Do you think thats true?

MIN2511

Lost track of this thread yesterday

When i do marry, regardless of my husband's income i would still work because i enjoy my independence and i would like to contribute to my families upkeep.
I don't think there is anything wrong with being materialistic, we all are!


I can't go back all the pages but it seems the general gist is that ye all think the woman is greedy and should be content with what she has. We all want to climb the career ladder, succeed, earn more money to better our families don't we?
Is there anyone here that would be prepared to work for 40yrs doing the same thing with no career development?

Ginny

Theres a significant difference between personal career development and marrying for moneys sake.

Dragan

MIN2511 wrote: »

I can't go back all the pages but it seems the general gist is that ye all think the woman is greedy and should be content with what she has. We all want to climb the career ladder, succeed, earn more money to better our families don't we?
Is there anyone here that would be prepared to work for 40yrs doing the same thing with no career development?

She doesn't want to do this. She wants her husband to do it for her.

stovelid

Quality wrote: »

He knows I would be happy not to work. Its not that I am not happy working, I actually like my job. Its just I would be happy if I didnt have to work and still had my income coming in.

I guess his love will have to be enough, given his failure to provide you with the life you want.

Quality

stovelid wrote: »

I guess his love will have to be enough, given his failure to provide you with the life you want.

As said before, I went for the bulge at the front instead of the bulge at the back...

his lovin' certainly makes up for it... No shortcomings in that department.:D

panda100

I think it was my mother who wrote that article,It sounds exactly like her! She's does not approve of the hippies and eternal art students I continue to bring home.She longs for the day when I will bring a nice doctor or lawyer back to meet her

I agree with the sentiment that money does not equate happiness.
Im of the Oliver James school of though that 'Affluenza' has infected all of us(particlarly my mother ) for the worse .http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2007/jan/24/comment.politics

MIN2511

Dragan wrote: »

She doesn't want to do this. She wants her husband to do it for her.

Thanks for that...
In a haze(interview in a few mins)




She should have married an ambitious man! Sometimes love isn't everything...

Quality

While I agree I would never tell my kids to be a total golddigger specifically
I've seen mate who's like this get burned big time

Quality wrote: »

I dont know, I read that girls article and see where she is coming from. I dont care if I sound shallow or materialistic.

Money does buy happiness.

I love my family and my kids very much. I make the most of my time out of work with my kids.

I would love to be in a position to stay at home full time. But we like all young families, have bills to pay and mouths to feed. We could live off my husbands wage, but would not have holidays or two cars or money for luxury items ...

I will be grooming my daughter towards rich men when she is older. Definitely!!

metaoblivia

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be financially secure or even out and out wealthy for that matter. It's something I aspire to.
I guess the difference is, it's never occurred to me to marry into wealth. I've always held the assumption that if I'm going to make a lot of money, it will be because I worked for it and earned it.
Also, it's much better that way because the money is yours. You don't have to depend on a man to provide for you.

badolepuddytat

Interesting article, I didn't read all the replies so apologies if this has been said before. Personally, I would always want to work outside the home, at least part-time so it isn't an issue for me. Once you can make ends meet (and even better, tie them in a bow and have your foreign holidays etc like the lady in the article) it's up to you to find joy in your life, not bitterness because x has more this that or the other. Living within your means (modest car, luxury items such as clothes/technology/makeup as treats rather than necessary expenditure) goes a long way to making life financially comfortable. Kids are hugely expensive but I think it's unrealistic for the majority of people to not expect at least a few tight years if they decide to have a family?

Duckjob

If money buys happiness well then those guys I see sitting in their 08 Mercs in the morning surely should be beaming from ear to ear.

Yet, sitting there in their expensive bubbles, sealed off from the world (they always have the windows up - heaven forbid they might have to actually interact with the outside world), none of them look very happy to me.

ntlbell

Duckjob wrote: »

If money buys happiness well then those guys I see sitting in their 08 Mercs in the morning surely should be beaming from ear to ear.

Yet, sitting there in their expensive bubbles, sealed off from the world (they always have the windows up - heaven forbid they might have to actually interact with the outside world), none of them look very happy to me.

and they'll probably just as unhappy in a micra

happiness is obtained generally over a long period of time and there's so many different complex aspects to what makes the mind happy

people want what they can't have, it's like the whole lotto concept quality is going on about you will be happy the day you win the money and probably for a short period afterwards affects like this usually wear off on the mind after about 3 months and the brain "reset's"

your level of happiness will drop down to exactly as it was, the brain needs hard times it needs up's it needs down and there's no one thing that can bring happiness.

contentment is the key

BroomBurner

Agree with contentment being the key. After a short spell of being unemployed, I can whole-heatedly say that I would hate to not be working. Money wasn't an issue as himself earns well, but hated having to do the housework out of guilt of not having a job, and not being able to pay my half of the mortgage.

Fair play to women that would want to give it up for at least saying what they believe. Sure without Women What Lunch, a myriad of luncheon spots would be out of business! And what of those nail salons?!

DenMan

Just read the OP's post

She is clearly very down at the moment. What is wrong with her arranging a nice weekend away, say in Paris or Rome. Surely her or her partner can arrange that, despite their schedule. Leave the girls with their friends for a weekend and go away for a well deserved break, say a bank holiday weekend. There is no point in getting all worked up about her situation and constantly comparing herself to her friends is definitely not going to make herself feel better.

Granted I did not sift through all 8 pages of the replies (some response all the same considering it was only put up as a thread yesterday) If you want to have a nice time and get away from it all then you arrange it yourself, taking matters into your own hands.It can be done while sitting down at your computer with little or no effort at all. You deserve it OP, so stop giving out about your friends getaways and get organizing one for yourself. There plenty of offers online waiting to be snapped up. Go for it.

Ginny

Eh the Original Post was from a newspaper article.

DenMan

Sorry about that. You are right. Well then my response is intended for the people mentioned in the newspaper article. My bad.