family law

madamab

Hi

I wonder if anyone knows anything to help me help my friend. She lives in Dublin, her parents live in Tipperary and last summer having looked after her child for the summer as she is a lone parent decided they were not letting her have him back. Her parents are very old fashioned and and dont agree with her being a single parent, her baby died when she was 7 months old and she became pregnant not so long after with her son The father of the child sees him but when it suits. Anyway she was having a few too many which the parents disapproved of and okay the child is well looked after in Tipperary that goes without saying, however they will not let his mother see him . This I feel is wrong. Even prisoners see their children. Of course her drinking has got worse and the family are pioneers and completely disapprove, they arent prepared to sit down and talk or work things out. Recently she went down to try again to see her son and they would not answer the door so she said she practically took the letter box off and now her Mother has an order against her for 5 years. However as her son lives there she is unable to go near the house. She fears her son will be a teenager before she ever sees him again. It is such a mess. She has nowhere to turn and deals with it all by drinking. I am really worried. Help?

Victor

We can't give legal advice here.

However, on a practical basis she needs to (a) sober up and (b) get some legal advice.

For (a) start with a GP and find what local support groups there are and for (b) the local citizens information centre probably has contacts with FLAC.

www.flac.ie

This thread is possibly more suited to Personal Issues http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127

madamab

Yes thank you Victor, its a vicious circle. I know she needs to sober up, but the situation is not helping either. Her parents have assumed custody even though theres nothing on paper. I don't think they can do this. I also believe whoever granted the order was not aware that this child was living in this house. I cannot see a judge not allowing a Mother to see her child for 5 years

Amazotheamazing

You have to remember, it's the child's interests that are paramount.

The mother is obviously having a hard time of it, but the Court will look to the welfare of the child. Frankly, it sounds like the grandparents have a right to be concerned.

Were I a friend of the mother, I would see if I could arrange counselling in relation to the loss of her baby, and to deal with her drinking. The Court will need to see that the mother is capable of caring for the child.

Tbh, I think your friend has a strong case, but she'll need to get proper legal advice.

madamab

Hi and thanks for your advice.

Yes I managed to get her to counselling before where she was able to pay a small fee a week to an almost qualified counsellor where the group of qualified counsellors looked in and gave advice etc. I actually was there one night with her. However she had not been going very long and at this stage she still had her son and I would look after him whilst she went. The sessions ended for a period of 8 weeks due to holidays or something over the last summer time and unfortunately things escalated from there. I cannot drag her to a doctor a counsellor etc. She will hardly discuss her little baby that died it causes her so much pain. There is a stalemate here, the parents want her to get help before she is welcome in their home or at least they did before this order but at the same time shes going out of her mind without seeing her little boy. I see your points that the welfare of the child must come first and Im totally agreeable with this. I just feel that no court in the land would stop a child seeing its mother or vice verse unless there was serious abuse or something like that. Visitation or access cannot be denied surely?

Maximilian

madamab wrote: »

Visitation or access cannot be denied surely?

I'm wondering if this would be more suited to the Personal Issues forum, as this is not so much a legal discussion, as a PI one I think.

Your friend needs professional help. Counselling and legal advice. There's really not much more to say.