LOL Coppers

Homer

Deleted User wrote: »

That said, the place is black every nite of the week

Ya big feckin racist

Dudess

Again, I think there's a drift away from the nub of the argument here. Yes, there is more of a burden on the woman... BUT that doesn't give people the right to slate the woman and not the man when the man had sex with her. Or to say stuff like "it's her responsibility to ensure she doesn't risk getting pregnant". If a man is putting his penis in her vagina then he too should take responsibility and not get off scot-free from the kind of appalling abuse at the start of this thread... or even to be treated as kind of a victim - what the fuk?
The only way a woman can ensure she definitely won't get pregnant is to abstain. Would you like that, guys? If every woman decided to abstain until she was in a committed relationship and there were no longer any one-night stands on the agenda? No? Well then stop being assholes and gleefully taking advantage of something that benefits you but then taking the moral high ground against the girl if it all goes tits up.

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

Quit belittling abortion. It's a very painful decision for a lot of women, even if the pregnancy is the result of a drunken one night stand. If you think a woman just thinks "****, I'm pregnant. Oh well, I'll have to have an abortion" you've a very simplistic outlook.
And it seems some here feel more responsibility lies with the woman if she chooses not to have an abortion... seriously, grow the fuk up.

Quite ****ing true!

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

guys? ..... No? Well then stop being assholes

If they took your advice....would there be a point left to mankind?

Bubs101

Dudess wrote: »

You're drifting a bit now, snyper. What I have issues with is guys being ok with guys having irresponsible one-night stands with girls, but not with girls having irresponsible one-night stands with guys. It's up to both to ensure protection is used. It's not MORE up to the girl. Otherwise it seems it's ok for the guy to not put on a condom, but if the girl gets pregnant as a result, it was due to her stupidity, not his.

Because a girl can destroy her life with a one night stand whereas the worse a guy can get is a (normally curable) STD.

On a side note, I feel really sorry for the guy, having his charachter tarnished all over national radio for just getting his bit:P

Dudess

Don't troll.

Reku

Dudess wrote: »

But that still doesn't explain why the responsibility lies more with the woman than with the man... Nor should she be any less responsible. It should be equal.
To say more responsibility lies with the woman just because she's the one who'll get pregnant is unfair and an outdated attitude.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055278123
The majority of females in the above thread felt that the woman should have the overriding vote in the matter, as such they should also accept increased responsibility.
Reality is that men have no legal protection as to whether or not they wish to have a child other than abstaining from the act of sex (which women don't have to do since they have the options of the morning after and abortions which men do not), if they were to try make the woman have an abortion/keep the child she can turn to the law for protection, yet the man has nothing to turn to. Remedy that then perhaps you're insistance for equal responsibility will be listened to, otherwise people are just going to continue to view it as more the woman's responsibility.

farohar

farohar wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055278123
The majority of females in the above thread felt that the woman should have the overriding vote in the matter, as such they should also accept increased responsibility.
Reality is that men have no legal protection as to whether or not they wish to have a child other than abstaining from the act of sex (which women don't have to do since they have the options of the morning after and abortions which men do not), if they were to try make the woman have an abortion/keep the child she can turn to the law for protection, yet the man has nothing to turn to. Remedy that then perhaps you're insistance for equal responsibility will be listened to, otherwise people are just going to continue to view it as more the woman's responsibility.

Ultimately that man has a responsiblity to his child...nothing changes that.

Dudess

I see what you're all saying, but that does not excuse a bunch of guys posting stuff like "she acted the slapper", "she's a muppet for getting knocked up", "she should have taken steps to prevent herself from being in this situation" etc.

melekalikimaka

i thought this thread would die without me

jeez the point is its equal responsibily but when it comes down to it its the girl who gets the baby in her so to speak so its really... when it comes down to it, her who puts more on the line than the guy thus the girls problem moreso than the guys

Adam

melekalikimaka wrote: »

i thought this thread would die without me

jeez the point is its equal responsibily but when it comes down to it its the girl who gets the baby in her so to speak so its really... when it comes down to it, her who puts more on the line than the guy thus the girls problem moreso than the guys

+1 million dollars

shane86

Deleted User wrote: »

Last time I tried I failed!!!

LOL Id go to coppers a bit (old habit from college days, old habits die hard!) and I go there cos I like the atmosphere. non pretentious people out to have fun and bouncers who coulnt care less really, they just let ya have your fun and I find the whole "go to coppers to get your ride" thing to be a bit of a myth. It happens, but its not any more prevalent than a lot of other places.

I dont know where the whole thing started really.

Most Dubs have been to Coppers once, and once only.
Most repeat the Slapper Face Jacks thing, full of guards and slutty nurses
If it was so easy to pull it would be packed full of locals, instead of rural folk packing in for a recreation of the atmosphere of a typical nightclub down the country (bouncers allowing you in with a rake of drink on you, the DJ playing Hills of Donegal/Galway Girl, and a mass brawl on the dancefloor at least once).

Ive been maybe 8 or 9 times (mate lived nearby so it was handy to walk to for him, load of his college used to go). Apart from when they stick on a bit of Put Em Under Pressure around match times its a dive.

I think everyone has pulled in Coppers! its whether u go there to pull....I certainly dont!

Pulled as into back to a gaff or merely stuck in?

One of the more bizarre nights of my life was after Coppers, doing a burner from some house in Glasnevin/Ballymun in the depths of a very cold January-March morning 5am or thereabouts, falling around some nearly completely dark estate (dunno why there were so few streetlights ) before I eventually got to somewhere I recognised, that large dual carriageway linking the area with Phibsboro. Until I reached it I hadnt even the foggiest of what general part of Dublin I was in.

I didnt whack it though, she was rank.

I swear :P All aside though I wouldnt rate it at all for pulling. Attracts a few English hen dos mind. Infinitely a better bet than Irish nurses.

Oh btw the original story sounds like a piss take. Nurse, coppers, country girl (presumably, Roisin would be more common a name down there), English people on the piss....its all a bit stereotypically Coppers, no?

Dudess

Glasnevin/Phibsborough - nurse central!

You're drifting a bit now, snyper. What I have issues with is guys being ok with guys having irresponsible one-night stands with girls, but not with girls having irresponsible one-night stands with guys. It's up to both to ensure protection is used. It's not MORE up to the girl. Otherwise it seems it's ok for the guy to not put on a condom, but if the girl gets pregnant as a result, it was due to her stupidity, not his.

It's common sense.

A girl has much more to lose than a guy does, as this situation has shown. Therefore, the girl should be responsible enough to protect herself against this kind of thing. It's all well and good going on about how it's unfair and how it's equally the guy's responsibility, but the world doesn't work like that. It doesn't matter what should happen, the fact is, if a girl has a one night stand, doesn't know the guy's name and gets pregnant, the girl has to deal with it and the guy knows nothing about it. I think if you're going to have one night stands you should be on both the pill and using a condom, as condoms aren't anywhere near 100% effective, and failing that, you should at least get the guy's name and number. FFS, how difficult is that? I think a lot of women are totally misguided with the whole 'equality' thing. It ISN'T the same for men and women. That doesn't mean women can't have fun or can't have sex, it means they need to be more responsible about it. I think there are a lot of women out there who need a reality check.

Jigsaw

[quote=[Deleted User];56456099]It's common sense.

A girl has much more to lose than a guy does, as this situation has shown. Therefore, the girl should be responsible enough to protect herself against this kind of thing. It's all well and good going on about how it's unfair and how it's equally the guy's responsibility, but the world doesn't work like that. It doesn't matter what should happen, the fact is, if a girl has a one night stand, doesn't know the guy's name and gets pregnant, the girl has to deal with it and the guy knows nothing about it. I think if you're going to have one night stands you should be on both the pill and using a condom, as condoms aren't anywhere near 100% effective, and failing that, you should at least get the guy's name and number. FFS, how difficult is that? I think a lot of women are totally misguided with the whole 'equality' thing. It ISN'T the same for men and women. That doesn't mean women can't have fun or can't have sex, it means they need to be more responsible about it. I think there are a lot of women out there who need a reality check.[/QUOTE]

Sense

Dudess

[quote=[Deleted User];56456099]It's common sense.

A girl has much more to lose than a guy does, as this situation has shown. Therefore, the girl should be responsible enough to protect herself against this kind of thing.[/QUOTE]
The only way she can do that is through abstinence. If a guy is involved, he has responsibilities too. If he doesn't have condoms and she doesn't have condoms but they both sleep with each other, that is a case of her being an idiot, but it is also a case of him being an idiot.
Stop fostering an attitude of it being ok for a guy to be irresponsible when he's fuking around. You'll say you're not doing that... but you are without realising it.

thelordofcheese

Dudess wrote: »

Stop fostering an attitude of it being ok for a guy to be irresponsible when he's fuking around. You'll say you're not doing that... but you are without realising it.

I'm glad we haven't had to resort to attempting to put word into other peoples mouths in order to try and make a point.

Executive Steve

username123 wrote: »

Abortion should not be used as a method of contraception.

there's something incredibly wrong about this sentence

username123 wrote: »

Being made a social leper for having a one night stand with a nurse you met in copper face jacks? What country are you living in? Afganistan?
How on earth would anything about the situation make the guy a social leper?

copper face jacks, tbh.

Executive Steve

Dudess wrote: »

I see what you're all saying, but that does not excuse a bunch of guys posting stuff like "she acted the slapper", "she's a muppet for getting knocked up", "she should have taken steps to prevent herself from being in this situation" etc.

"she acted the slapper" - ludicrous, obviously.

"she's a muppet for getting knocked up" - she's a human female with a womb; these things happen at even the least conventient times.

"she should have taken steps to prevent herself from being in this situation" - yes, she should have.

kelator

Dudess wrote: »

The only way she can do that is through abstinence. If a guy is involved, he has responsibilities too. If he doesn't have condoms and she doesn't have condoms but they both sleep with each other, that is a case of her being an idiot, but it is also a case of him being an idiot.
Stop fostering an attitude of it being ok for a guy to be irresponsible when he's fuking around. You'll say you're not doing that... but you are without realising it.

Granted they are both idiots, but as the consequences are more severe for the woman, as shown in this thread, (he could be back in England and know nothing of this, or not be from England at all) she is the bigger idiot.

Plus the story being coppers and nurse, has to be high chance its a pisstake

Wibbs

Dudess wrote: »

Again, I think there's a drift away from the nub of the argument here. Yes, there is more of a burden on the woman... BUT that doesn't give people the right to slate the woman and not the man when the man had sex with her. Or to say stuff like "it's her responsibility to ensure she doesn't risk getting pregnant". If a man is putting his penis in her vagina then he too should take responsibility and not get off scot-free from the kind of appalling abuse at the start of this thread... or even to be treated as kind of a victim - what the fuk?

i agree. he's not a victim and she doesn't deserve the level of abuse, even though some of the ridiculousness of the aftermath deserves a snigger. the abuse comes from the obvious inequality of the situation and how it has been handled.

The only way a woman can ensure she definitely won't get pregnant is to abstain. Would you like that, guys? If every woman decided to abstain until she was in a committed relationship and there were no longer any one-night stands on the agenda? No? Well then stop being assholes and gleefully taking advantage of something that benefits you but then taking the moral high ground against the girl if it all goes tits up.

while the sexual revolution has given more freedom for women and men, it has ironically left women at somewhat of a disadvantage, due to inequality or difference if you prefer, of biology. No amount of rhetoric can change that. A man can choose if he desires, to have a coterie of women, a production line harem of women, that if it goes south on him, he can walk. Yes the law provides some protection for women, but is it because a lot of the law comes from before the sexual revolution so maybe it doesn't protect the woman, moreso the child as much, as much as it should? I'd say in most cases where the woman does get support, it's because the guy wants to engage with his child. If he brasses it out, he can get away relatively "scot free". In some ways it has been like this even before the sexual revolution. The woman always got the shít end of the stick. Was always the brazen hussy etc. Then again social pressure was a lot higher on the man to provide/marry her. Shotgun weddings are rarer now. TBH I don't see how any ism can overcome that, at least in the forseeable.

beautiation

Sing along now: "It's cos she's easy... easy like saturday/sunday morning..."

Guy's a dick if he knows about this and isn't coming forward though.

Dudess

[QUOTE='[cm]"she should have taken steps to prevent herself from being in this situation" - yes, she should have.[/QUOTE]
And he should have put on a condom.

Adam

Dudess wrote: »

And he should have put on a condom.

You're continually assuming they didn't use protection. You're blaming him. And you're ignoring some very valid points while quoting people out of context, as you did with me.

Dragan

Bubs101 wrote: »

Because a girl can destroy her life with a one night stand whereas the worse a guy can get is a (normally curable) STD.

So you are telling me that the thoughts of some chick contacting you with a 5 month old kid that you never planned on having would not destroy your life?

Dream on or wake the **** up mate.:rolleyes:

Wibbs

Bloody right it would especially if you were a man who takes responsibility for his actions. We're taking the view of what we would do. There are a fair few blokes out there who wouldn't take responsibility and go "meh". Unfortunately for the woman, she kinda has to.

Reku

*Vows to design nanites that can be mixed with sperm that will firstly carry an ID tag as to who the man is and secondly afford the man the chance for a remote control abortion. Then all the equality issues will be resolved, even if both sides will still bitch about their rights.*




If a girl I slept with came to me pregnant a couple of months later I'd be a bit freaked all right, considering my view of the world would it be right for me to condemn another to it, but then do I have the right to deny them the chance?? If she came after a month or two it wouldn't be so bad since there's more time to mull it over. Coming after the baby's born, well if nothing else I'd be pissed at her that she wants me to be the father but never even bothered to ask if I wanted to be a father.



I think perhaps the best way I can word my feelings on this is how can you claim to respect someone enough to be an acting co-parent for your child yet not respect them enough to give them fair say in whether or not you are both ready to be parents for a child. It just reeks of repecting someone only if and when it suits your own agenda.

sfhawke7w

blood boiling!!

first off! am a single parent had a one night stand, used a condom and was on the pill!! neither worked however I have gotten on with life and have a great child.

my first point is -

men have one night stand - jaysus he's great, fair play
girl has a one night stand - slapper

why is this a problem, both men and women have sexual desires so what is wrong with either having a one night stand, as long as you have the cop on and protect yourself and be careful, but then again when alcohol is in a lot of sense and cop on goes out the window.

so you are now pregnant

abortion - women have a right to it but some don't agree with it, i considered it but knew i would never forgive myself (also thought what happens if i can never have kids again) the maternal instinct is quite high in most women. so that option is out

adoption - gone are the days where you could "hide away for 9 mths" plus years ago most of the adoptions that took place in this country where forced upon the women.

anyway, feel sorry for Roisin having to go on national radio but admire her for being so brave as people will "cop on" to who she is, and people will talk.

the guy - okay he prob did lie about who he was, but think about it guys putting all crap about one night stands, money and responsibility aside - this guy has a child he is a father! and take it from me most fathers i know love their children and would do anything for them -


in my own situation, i did not go out to have a one night stand, i knew the guy, it happened, my world fell apart, but i got on with it. The guy has never had any involvement whatsoever and sometimes i think it would be nice for my child to know the dad.

what if the child was sick? would people have reacted differently to her situation?

and as for one night stands it takes two and both parties should be looking after their own protection for whatever reason and in this day and age people should have more cop on for there own safety.

as for me - don't have one night stands - well ones with sex - usually just meet a guy, dance and have a laugh and go home. have stopped giving my number as don't see the point.

everyone's opinion on this subject should be respected whether we agree with it or not that is the whole point of free speech.

anyway i hope for the child's sake the guy does get in contact, putting all roisin and the guys carry on separate - a child has been born and deserves to be loved.


hope this makes sense

justsomebloke

so I am gathering that the moral of the story is that women should only have sex with men who have a rubber and a business card

20 Times 20 Times

sfhawke7w wrote: »

blood boiling!!

first off! am a single parent had a one night stand, used a condom and was on the pill!! neither worked however I have gotten on with life and have a great child.

my first point is -

men have one night stand - jaysus he's great, fair play
girl has a one night stand - slapper

why is this a problem, both men and women have sexual desires so what is wrong with either having a one night stand, as long as you have the cop on and protect yourself and be careful, but then again when alcohol is in a lot of sense and cop on goes out the window.

so you are now pregnant

abortion - women have a right to it but some don't agree with it, i considered it but knew i would never forgive myself (also thought what happens if i can never have kids again) the maternal instinct is quite high in most women. so that option is out

adoption - gone are the days where you could "hide away for 9 mths" plus years ago most of the adoptions that took place in this country where forced upon the women.

anyway, feel sorry for Roisin having to go on national radio but admire her for being so brave as people will "cop on" to who she is, and people will talk.

the guy - okay he prob did lie about who he was, but think about it guys putting all crap about one night stands, money and responsibility aside - this guy has a child he is a father! and take it from me most fathers i know love their children and would do anything for them -


in my own situation, i did not go out to have a one night stand, i knew the guy, it happened, my world fell apart, but i got on with it. The guy has never had any involvement whatsoever and sometimes i think it would be nice for my child to know the dad.

what if the child was sick? would people have reacted differently to her situation?

and as for one night stands it takes two and both parties should be looking after their own protection for whatever reason and in this day and age people should have more cop on for there own safety.

as for me - don't have one night stands - well ones with sex - usually just meet a guy, dance and have a laugh and go home. have stopped giving my number as don't see the point.

everyone's opinion on this subject should be respected whether we agree with it or not that is the whole point of free speech.

anyway i hope for the child's sake the guy does get in contact, putting all roisin and the guys carry on separate - a child has been born and deserves to be loved.


hope this makes sense

Roisin is that you

sfhawke7w

no it is not Roisin

so i guess you think i am
"a slapper" " a gold digger"

Dudess

sfhawke7w wrote: »

blood boiling!!

first off! am a single parent had a one night stand, used a condom and was on the pill!! neither worked however I have gotten on with life and have a great child.

my first point is -

men have one night stand - jaysus he's great, fair play
girl has a one night stand - slapper

why is this a problem, both men and women have sexual desires so what is wrong with either having a one night stand, as long as you have the cop on and protect yourself and be careful, but then again when alcohol is in a lot of sense and cop on goes out the window.

so you are now pregnant

abortion - women have a right to it but some don't agree with it, i considered it but knew i would never forgive myself (also thought what happens if i can never have kids again) the maternal instinct is quite high in most women. so that option is out

adoption - gone are the days where you could "hide away for 9 mths" plus years ago most of the adoptions that took place in this country where forced upon the women.

anyway, feel sorry for Roisin having to go on national radio but admire her for being so brave as people will "cop on" to who she is, and people will talk.

the guy - okay he prob did lie about who he was, but think about it guys putting all crap about one night stands, money and responsibility aside - this guy has a child he is a father! and take it from me most fathers i know love their children and would do anything for them -


in my own situation, i did not go out to have a one night stand, i knew the guy, it happened, my world fell apart, but i got on with it. The guy has never had any involvement whatsoever and sometimes i think it would be nice for my child to know the dad.

what if the child was sick? would people have reacted differently to her situation?

and as for one night stands it takes two and both parties should be looking after their own protection for whatever reason and in this day and age people should have more cop on for there own safety.

as for me - don't have one night stands - well ones with sex - usually just meet a guy, dance and have a laugh and go home. have stopped giving my number as don't see the point.

everyone's opinion on this subject should be respected whether we agree with it or not that is the whole point of free speech.

anyway i hope for the child's sake the guy does get in contact, putting all roisin and the guys carry on separate - a child has been born and deserves to be loved.


hope this makes sense

I know how you feel - some of the views here are disgusting. But those men will still continue to have one-night stands, possibly unprotected sex, but never mind, that's the woman's concern.

Apparently it's even the woman's responsibility if a guy has sex with her, not his.

Dragan

Dudess wrote: »

I know how you feel - some of the views here are disgusting. But those men will still continue to have one-night stands, possibly unprotected sex, but never mind, that's the woman's concern.

Apparently it's even the woman's responsibility if a guy has sex with her, not his.

Ah come on now Dudess. Are you really suprised that a lot of men have a relaxed attitude ( and that is me being very polite ) to this?

I thought you were more jaded than that.

The simple fact of the matter is there are PLENTY of women out there with the same relaxed attitude.

Reku

That people can be so careless about sex and the possible reprocussions just shows sex ed. in Ireland doesn't work.:(

Homer

sfhawke7w wrote: »

no it is not Roisin

so i guess you think i am
"a slapper" " a gold digger"

As Ice T once wisely said "Don't hate the player.. Hate the Game"

Nevyn

Maybe cos I grew up in the 80s where there were all the ads about hiv ect that I find it boggling that there are people out there that have casual sex with out condoms.
What ever happened to the ads and the posters and the slogans such as" don't be stupid don't be silly wear a condom on your willy". It ain't rocket science.
If a guy won't wear one or tries to get of wearing one then he has no respect for you or for himself.

Dudess

Oh no Thaedydal, you've got that wrong! If a guy won't wear one or tries to get of wearing one, then it's the girl's fault for not making him do so.

melekalikimaka

Dudess wrote: »

Oh no Thaedydal, you've got that wrong! If a guy won't wear one or tries to get of wearing one, then it's the girl's fault for not making him do so.

I think your relly taking what you want out of the arguements there dudess to suit your own feminist little ideals, apart from the tosser joke comments most the guys comments you have issues with are fairly grounded and understandable

JUDYMAX

So... On researching the attitudes of people I am intrigued how many of you here, are so free with your one dimensional views!

Are you are just after crawing out from a rock? Would you like to grab some sage and chase this woman with stones.

And, those of you who suggest Adoption and Abortion, have you gone down that route and found it easier? I guess not, in fact I guess you are men who suggested this. Or is that option, just to sweep things under the carpet?

This thread demonstrates the great divide.

Be mindful, you may be next to question choices you have made in your life.

Dragan

Dudess wrote: »

Oh no Thaedydal, you've got that wrong! If a guy won't wear one or tries to get of wearing one, then it's the girl's fault for not making him do so.

No, but it is the girls fault is she proceeds to sleep with him knowing this, don't you think?

We all make our choice as to who we have sex with, when, and under what circumstances.

If a guy won't wrap up then don't **** him. Pretty simple really.

Reku

Thaedydal wrote: »

Maybe cos I grew up in the 80s where there were all the ads about hiv ect that I find it boggling that there are people out there that have casual sex with out condoms.
What ever happened to the ads and the posters and the slogans such as" don't be stupid don't be silly wear a condom on your willy". It ain't rocket science.
If a guy won't wear one or tries to get of wearing one then he has no respect for you or for himself.

As I said before the lad is a fool.

I'll probably get 20 people jumping down my throat for this but for the most part I have to question the amount of respect, for themselves and the other person, that people who engage in casual one night stands have. If you really respected either yourself or the other person surely you wouldn't waste your time on someone you feel no connection with, all you do is cheapen the act of sex and how much you value your body (you have no idea what you could be exposing it to as there are various nasties you can pick up that even condoms won't stop*). F*ckbuddies I can understand as at least you have some connection and do get on well, presumeably there's some level of trust and respect between you, some stranger you pick up in a bar/club and can't even definitively say what age they are or what their name is.

melekalikimaka wrote: »

I think your really taking what you want out of the arguements there dudess to suit your own feminist little ideals, apart from the tosser joke comments most the guys comments you have issues with are fairly grounded and understandable

+1





*e.g. pubic lice, cold sores, HIV can in fact be transmitted even by kissing should your gums/lips be bleeding, if you're rubbing up against someone warts/verrucas/whatever else they might have one their body is clearly not going to be affected by the presence of a condom on one appendage of the body. Even ebola has an incubation period of between 2-21days, during that time there's no symptoms but it will still be possible to pass it on through fluids. You meet a random stranger you have no idea what they could be carrying.

Dudess

But Dragan, what about saying to the guy: if you don't have a condom, don't have sex. This could go round and round and round.

It's a two-way thing, yet according to some on this thread, it's one-way.

Dragan

Dudess wrote: »

But Dragan, what about saying to the guy: if you don't have a condom, don't have sex. This could go round and round and round.

It's a two-way thing, yet according to some on this thread, it's one-way.

That IS what i have said to guys in this thread. And i even listed the reason other than a possible pregnancy why they should do this.

Three times i have been in a situation where sex was on the cards, i wanted it, she wanted it, but there was no condom so it didn't happen.

It's not a hard choice to make when you look at the bigger picture. Well, not for me anyway.

Dudess

farohar wrote: »

I'll probably get 20 people jumping down my throat for this

No, I agree with you. One-night stands aren't great, but sometimes they happen - usually because of alcohol.

but for the most part I have to question the amount of respect, for themselves and the other person, that people who engage in casual one night stands have. If you really respected either yourself or the other person surely you wouldn't waste your time on someone you feel no connection with, all you do is cheapen the act of sex and how much you value your body (you have no idea what you could be exposing it to as there are various nasties you can pick up that condoms won't stop). F*ckbuddies I can understand as at least you have some connection and do get on well, presumeably there's some level of trust and respect between you, some stranger you pick up in a bar/club and can't even definitively say what age they are or what their name is.

People who are saying I'm just on my feminist high horse: not true. I'm just angered by the attitudes here against people who happen to be female. Yeah I agree a girl has more to lose but there are comments on this thread that are indicative of a mindset that because women have more to lose, men kind of have a right to be careless, selfish, irresponsible, because ultimately everything will fall on the woman anyway.

melekalikimaka

farohar wrote: »

I have to question the amount of respect, for themselves and the other person, that people who engage in casual one night stands have. If you really respected either yourself or the other person surely you wouldn't waste your time on someone you feel no connection with, all you do is cheapen the act of sex and how much you value your body (you have no idea what you could be exposing it to as there are various nasties you can pick up that condoms won't stop).

I agree, i wont lie i have my fair share, alot from coppers, and tbh i couldn't care less if the lady n question has little respect for me doing it, the feeling is mutual, its pretty basic what each wants and what each gets, tis pretty dumb but f*ck it, its something that happens and always will given the fact men and women find each other attractive and drink lubricates the whole situation. I feel tho that the girl given the situation she can get herself into... is a hell of a lot dumber than me

iwudluvit

It's a battle for both sexes to control your genetic impulses - your genes want baby genes! Your only (impossible and impractical some say) hope is to stay lucky, sober and sensible and take precautions or your own body will sneak around your own defenses. It happens to everyone! No insults needed, there but for the grace etc...

Excluding STDs (which is a joint risk) having said that, the pregnancy implications fall hardest on the woman. Also, in the past, maternal death rate was 1%. Like it or not, unfair or not, that's the way the system has evolved and thus the woman picks up the larger share of responsibility and risk for baby and her.

I really hope those women on here who think it's a joint precautionary exercise don't really think that and just are just lashing out. If you have the same cavalier attitude that men have, good luck to you and your genes!

Dudess

melekalikimaka wrote: »

I feel tho that the girl given the situation she can get herself into... is a hell of a lot dumber than me

Y'see, it's stuff like this I've a problem with and I'm finding it hard to articulate. You feel she's dumber... yet it's YOU she's having sex with. You don't have the right to look down on her like that. I presume so, since you think she's dumber, you'd do your best to ensure you're protected?

iwudluvit

Dudess wrote: »

Stop fostering an attitude of it being ok for a guy to be irresponsible when he's fuking around. You'll say you're not doing that... but you are without realising it.

What you are missing is that it's not merely an attitude to be fostered. It's the practical reality that the implications are less onerous on the man.

Less onerous does not not mean 'none' and how the man acts in light of this doesn't detract from this reality.

Wibbs

Dudess wrote: »

People who are saying I'm just on my feminist high horse: not true. I'm just angered by the attitudes here against people who happen to be female. Yeah I agree a girl has more to lose but there are comments on this thread that are indicative of a mindset that because women have more to lose, men kind of have a right to be careless, selfish, irresponsible, because ultimately everything will fall on the woman anyway.

You could argue that because there exists this mindset in a lot of men, that women have to be even more bloody careful about who they sleep with.

Lets imagine this was a completely different story from a different tack about a woman "trapping" a man by pretending to be on the pill when she wasn't. Now lets imagine the same ratio as the men calling "stupid slapper" on this thread were women saying that she was right to do that and the guy was a fool to believe her. My reaction would be wear a condom damn near 24 hours a day, or if there was a male pill I'd be chugging it back. I would not rail that women have such a stupid mindset(though may belive it). I wouldn't flip at the absurdity or unfairness of it all, I would simply accept the reality of silly attitudes of a section of the female population and set my behaviour accordingly. Far more logical.

melekalikimaka

Dudess wrote: »

Y'see, it's stuff like this I've a problem with and I'm finding it hard to articulate. You feel she's dumber... yet it's YOU she's having sex with. You don't have the right to look down on her like that. I presume so, since you think she's dumber, you'd do your best to ensure you're protected?

yes i do, and sorry but its basically weighing up negatives and positives

male - can get stds
female - can get stds and pregnant

she really puts alot more on the line


now i know it takes two the make a baby but at the end of the day, not that i would personally, but a guy can walk away the next morning after a failure of conraception safe in the knowledge he gave a fake name and wont see her again, while whats the girl got? if shes smart morning after pill,but sometimes as you know even that doesnt work of the knowledge of the broken contraception could be forgotten in the drunkeness.

one night stands arent smart, i dont question that, its a guy and a girl that requires it, i accept that, both make the decision equally, i accept that.

but i feel the girl puts alot more on the line for it. so when things go pear shaped i dont see how you can say its equal blame, she took on more thantheguy to get her bit