LOL Coppers

Looby_Loo

Dragan wrote: »

That IS what i have said to guys in this thread. And i even listed the reason other than a possible pregnancy why they should do this.

Three times i have been in a situation where sex was on the cards, i wanted it, she wanted it, but there was no condom so it didn't happen.

It's not a hard choice to make when you look at the bigger picture. Well, not for me anyway.

Been there too, more than once and it was me that was refusing to follow through without a condom. The guys involved would have happily proceeded without a thought to the consequences.

Everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions and the reality is that this guy took part in an act that resulted in the birth of a child.
Like it or not, that child deserves to know their father and he owes it to the child to contribute (either financially or by developing a relationship with the child).
To all that asked why should one mistake ruin his life- 2 people made the mistake so both parties should have to live with the consequences

Wibbs

iwudluvit wrote: »

What you are missing is that it's not merely an attitude to be fostered. It's the practical reality that the implications are less onerous on the man.

Less onerous does not not mean 'none' and how the man acts in light of this doesn't detract from this reality.

Exactly.

iwudluvit

Dudess wrote: »

. I presume so, since you think she's dumber, you'd do your best to ensure you're protected?

I think the chap is question protected himself by running out to training without leaving a forwarding address.

Dudess, your attitude towards this whole thing is actually the inverse of the guys who call her a slut. You're the ying to their yang. You need to grasp certain realities and move towards the common ground.

Dudess

Sorry but you're picking me up wrongly so. I agree the girl has a lot more to lose, but there are all these guys saying that... yet still having casual sex... with girls... "who have a lot more to lose". If they're so sure girls who sleep around are so silly and irresponsible, why are they directly contributing to her silliness and irresponsible behaviour? Why do they berate girls for having unprotected sex when the guy gladly was the one who put his condomless penis inside her?

melekalikimaka wrote: »

but i feel the girl puts alot more on the line for it. so when things go pear shaped i dont see how you can say its equal blame, she took on more thantheguy to get her bit

But as long as guys have one-night stands with girls, as long as they contribute to her silly mistakes, they don't have the right to say stuff like that! Grrr....

azezil

Dudess wrote: »

Oh no Thaedydal, you've got that wrong! If a guy won't wear one or tries to get of wearing one, then it's the girl's fault for not making him do so.

Agreed, your sexual health is your own responsibility, if you allow someone get away with not wearing protection, you're as much at fault as the other person.

Dragan

melekalikimaka wrote: »

male - can get stds
female - can get stds and pregnant

she really puts alot more on the line

Are you missing the fact that you could end up with a kid?

What the ****?

Do you really think that getting some girl pregnant in a one night stand will have no effect on your life at all?

Thats it, i'm officially losing what little hope i had left in blokes.

melekalikimaka

Dudess wrote: »

Sorry but you're picking me up wrongly so. I agree the girl has a lot more to lose, but there are all these guys saying that... yet still having casual sex... with girls... "who have a lot more to lose". If they're so sure girls who sleep around are so silly and irresponsible, why are they directly contributing to her silliness and irresponsible behaviour?

its not a one night standers job to become a moral compass for the girl, a one night stand situation doesnt mean they sit down and analyse the situation and such, its bout sex thats it no more no less. If a girl is stupid its her choice, and the guy cannot be made responsible for her decisions

Dudess

azezil wrote: »

Agreed, your sexual health is your own responsibility, if you allow someone get away with not wearing protection, you're as much at fault as the other person.

Or the other person could just refuse to have sex no matter how much the other person tries to convince them to.

melekalikimaka

Dragan wrote: »

Are you missing the fact that you could end up with a kid?

What the ****?

Do you really think that getting some girl pregnant in a one night stand will have no effect on your life at all?

Thats it, i'm officially losing what little hope i had left in blokes.

COULD
its all coulds and maybes, sure if you had that attitiude i honestly wouldnt be able to have sex with a girl again, theres ALWAYS a chance i accept that but in all fairness its unlikely, i'm taking in the sense where protection is used

Wibbs

Yea that's real likely in the majority of cases. Sad but true. Drink fuelled hard on or wide on and somethings getting put somwhere sooner or later. That's our basic biological purpose. Grow up and make little copies of ourselves. Add in drink and all bets are off.

Dudess

melekalikimaka wrote: »

its not a one night standers job to become a moral compass for the girl, a one night stand situation doesnt mean they sit down and analyse the situation and such, its bout sex thats it no more no less. If a girl is stupid its her choice, and the guy cannot be made responsible for her decisions

Are you for real? So basically you're saying that a guy "can't help himself" and it's up to the girl not to be a temptress? That's like something from the fuking Magdalene Laundries!! The guy, who has sex with her, cannot be made responsible for her decisions? Her decision to let him insert his penis in her vagina is completely devoid of his responsibilities?
This is actually sickening...

Looby_Loo

melekalikimaka wrote: »

its not a one night standers job to become a moral compass for the girl, a one night stand situation doesnt mean they sit down and analyse the situation and such, its bout sex thats it no more no less. If a girl is stupid its her choice, and the guy cannot be made responsible for her decisions

Its not her decision its their decision.
2 people involved

melekalikimaka

Dudess wrote: »

Are you for real? So basically you're saying that a guy "can't help himself" and it's up to the girl not to be a temptress?

no i did not say that. all i'm saying is if sex occurs its ot up to the guy to sit her down and explain to her the possible out comes, she should know them. IMO if i was a girl i'd probably not have one night stands, but then again its easy for me to say. thats what i was saying not "a guy "can't help himself" and it's up to the girl not to be a temptress"

iwudluvit

Dudess wrote: »

It's a two-way thing, yet according to some on this thread, it's one-way.

Most people here are not saying that. Or putting it anywhere near as simple.

Let me try again,

Both participants have one-way responsibilty over their own risks.
Both parties have a responsibility towards the other person.
The man knows that he can 'inflict' more damage on the woman.
The woman also knows that she can 'incur' more damage than the man.
The opposite is that the man's participation is less risky usually.
But also don't forget selfishness! The man will place less value on the woman's risk. Like it or not, that's the reality. We are constructed that way.

So the risks for both parties are ultimately different.
The woman picks up more (NOT ALL - read clearly) of the responsiblity tab.

It is not two-way or one way. It is a mix. The risk and responsibility is tilted towards the woman.

Amazotheamazing

Dudess wrote: »

Are you for real? So basically you're saying that a guy "can't help himself" and it's up to the girl not to be a temptress? That's like something from the fuking Magdalene Laundries!! The guy, who has sex with her, cannot be made responsible for her decisions? Her decision to let him insert his penis in her vagina is completely devoid of his responsibilities?
This is actually sickening...

How on earth did you come to that conclusion?

Most of the guys are acknowledging the reality (unfortunate or otherwise) of the situation, you're trying to argue for some sort of perfect world scenario that simply doesn't exist.

melekalikimaka

Looby_Loo wrote: »

Its not her decision its their decision.
2 people involved

TWO people make independant decisions Looby Loo

how they agrue the decisions in their heads is independant.

Its not a join decision

its merely a common answer they come to

iwudluvit

melekalikimaka wrote: »

If a girl is stupid its her choice, and the guy cannot be made responsible for her decisions

That's not true really. If you father a child you can be made responsible for your child. In effect you become responsible for the woman's decision not to take protection.

Harpy

So did they find daddy yet?

melekalikimaka

iwudluvit wrote: »

That's not true really. If you father a child you can be made responsible for your child. In effect you become responsible for the woman's decision not to take protection.

sorry i wasa refering to the act of sex not the child, i agree if i child results, that the guy should be responsible, where possible

Claire121

Most of the guys are acknowledging the reality (unfortunate or otherwise) of the situation, you're trying to argue for some sort of perfect world scenario that simply doesn't exist.

+1

FFS, what does it matter who is 'right' or 'wrong'? This isn't a primary school argument. A child is involved here. If the woman had had more cop on, she wouldn't be in this situation. Yes, the man was also responsible for creating the child, but he's off in England somewhere while the woman is raising the kid alone. That's the reality. I would even say the people spouting this pseudo feminist stuff are contributing to the problem.

Think of it this way (even though its not really the same thing :-p) - you're standing at a bus stop minding your own business when you see a car coming towards you at high speed. Do you jump out of the way to protect yourself or do you say 'sure, the car driver shouldn't be on the pavement, I'm in the right, so I'll stay here.' Is it any use to you being right when you're dead? Wouldn't it be 100 times easier to have used common sense and protected yourself in the first place?

Nevyn

Dudess wrote: »

But Dragan, what about saying to the guy: if you don't have a condom, don't have sex. This could go round and round and round.

IT had to be on both sides and really it's not if a guys doesn't have a condom it's if he doesn't wear done this rubbish of women not carrying/having condoms should have been ditched by now.

Dudess wrote: »

No, I agree with you. One-night stands aren't great, but sometimes they happen - usually because of alcohol.

Nope alcohol is the excuse I can get fairly intoxicated and still not sleep with someone.

Dudess wrote: »

People who are saying I'm just on my feminist high horse: not true. I'm just angered by the attitudes here against people who happen to be female. Yeah I agree a girl has more to lose but there are comments on this thread that are indicative of a mindset that because women have more to lose, men kind of have a right to be careless, selfish, irresponsible, because ultimately everything will fall on the woman anyway.

Again the stupid idea that pregnancy is the worse thing that happen ergo the worse thing that can happen happens to the woman is claptrap.

There are worse things then pregnancy, hiv is a death sentence, pregnancy ends one way or the other herpes and the rest of the virals keep on giving.
Sphylyis related dementia anyone ?

Pregnancy is just the ingrained cultural bogey man and ig guys really do want better contraception options for themselves then they need to push for them. the male contraceptive pill has been sidelined cos it appears men aren't arsed.

Looby_Loo

Thaedydal wrote: »

Again the stupid idea that pregnancy is the worse thing that happen ergo the worse thing that can happen happens to the woman is claptrap.

There are worse things then pregnancy, hiv is a death sentence, pregnancy ends one way or the other herpes and the rest of the virals keep on giving.
Sphylyis related dementia anyone ?

While getting "the talk" my parents always told me that pregnancy can be dealt with, some of the other consequences of unprotected sex cant

Amazotheamazing

Thaedydal wrote: »

Pregnancy is just the ingrained cultural bogey man and ig guys really do want better contraception options for themselves then they need to push for them. the male contraceptive pill has been sidelined cos it appears men aren't arsed.

Would trust a man who said he was on a male pill? I suspect most women would rather something more certain (either a condom or being on the pill themselves) than a random guy on a night out going "I've course I'm on the pill, luv".

iwudluvit

Claire121 wrote: »

+
Think of it this way (even though its not really the same thing :-p) - you're standing at a bus stop minding your own business when you see a car coming towards you at high speed. Do you jump out of the way to protect yourself or do you say 'sure, the car driver shouldn't be on the pavement, I'm in the right, so I'll stay here.' Is it any use to you being right when you're dead? Wouldn't it be 100 times easier to have used common sense and protected yourself in the first place?

yes,

and take a situation where a shopkeeper leaves sweets out on the counter. A fella comes in and says - yippee, free sweets! (even though it could be poison, chances are - it's free sweets! yum)

We all say the shopkeeper should protect her sweets.

We don't just say: the fella should take responsibilty for his actions and leave it at that. It's true, he should -

BUT
Let's get real. The shopkeeper should take care of her sweets AND the thief is legally responsible for his actions (if he get's caught). Prevention is better than cure - you serve your own interests when you assume primary care over your own assets.

iwudluvit

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are worse things then pregnancy, hiv is a death sentence, pregnancy ends one way or the other herpes and the rest of the virals keep on giving. Sphylyis related dementia anyone ?

Pregnancy is just the ingrained cultural bogey man and .

Pregnancy is not just ingrained cultural. It's ingrained into your genes and the vast majority of (if not ultimately all) your instincts are driven by it.

Of course death is worse than a baby.

But for punters in Coppers and elsewhere, they know the actual risk of making a baby unheeded is far far far higher than death. This is the calculation that is foremost in their minds (the bit that's not thinking with their downstairs equipment).

barnacle

Just get rid of the child.

Problem Solved.

Dragan

Thaedydal wrote: »

Pregnancy is just the ingrained cultural bogey man and ig guys really do want better contraception options for themselves then they need to push for them. the male contraceptive pill has been sidelined cos it appears men aren't arsed.

I was under the impression that the male contraceptive pill had been sidelined due to a lack of funding for further research?

As for the pregnancy not being worse than death......that is a matter of opinion. I have no problem saying that an unplanned pregnancy would shatter my life right now.

melekalikimaka

Dragan wrote: »

I was under the impression that the male contraceptive pill had been sidelined due to a lack of funding for further research?

As for the pregnancy not being worse than death......that is a matter of opinion. I have no problem saying that an unplanned pregnancy would shatter my life right now.

aye it wouldnt be worse...but pretty close

Wibbs

Dragan wrote: »

I was under the impression that the male contraceptive pill had been sidelined due to a lack of funding for further research?

Partially. It's also very difficult biologically to achieve by comparison to the female pill. Women aren't fertile all the time. When they're at various stages of their menstrual cycle or when pregnant they're not. Artificially reproduce either of those states and hey presto artificial infertility. All you have to do(sounds easy:)) is either stop a single egg being fertilised or stop resulting fertilised egg from implanting.

Men on the other hand are fertile all the time from 9 to 90. You have to stop literally millions of sperm either being produced or produced but infertile or unable to swim. Anyone of those buggers that makes it through can start a pregnancy. Sure men's fertlity can drop over time, but there's no natural time of infertility that you can reproduce without serious side effects. The side effects have been a lot of the problem.

Nevyn

Is slapper faced Jacks really that bad ?
and has anyone here like myself never been ?

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

Is slapper faced Jacks really that bad ?
and has anyone here like myself never been ?

I've never been
Nobody wants to go there with me.
I have seen video footage though.

Looby_Loo

Thaedydal wrote: »

Is slapper faced Jacks really that bad ?
and has anyone here like myself never been ?

Its a cattle mart.
I am a nurse who trained in Dublin so I have been once or twice

Dragan

Dragan wrote: »

I have no problem saying that an unplanned pregnancy would shatter my life right now.

How would it shatter your life?

Dudess

Never been. I've heard it's a much worse version of Reardens (the Cork Coppers) which is a place I HAVE been. Twice. Against my will. I'll never get those precious hours back. Truly horrifying

What was so bad about it Dudess?

darsar

Thaedydal wrote: »

Is slapper faced Jacks really that bad ?

Also known as Slapper Faced Cops!

MissHoneyBun

Meh, it's not *that* bad :rolleyes: And as a former UCD student, more time was spent there than in lecture theatres. It's usually the people who have never even been in the place that go all dramatic on hearsay. Yeah, it's a pure pick up joint but sure show me the nightclub that aint. Ya could go to far worse places than Coppers to be honest

Dudess

Moonbaby wrote: »

What was so bad about it Dudess?

Muck-savage central - I am NOT referring to people who are simply from the country, I am referring to that type of ignoramus who'd "bate ya wit a hurley if you were goin' round dressin' like a queer". Obviously there are nice people there too though, but it's ruined by the former.
Meat market - pretty much impossible to move and zero ventilation. Absolutely suffocating and way too hot. ****ed if there was a fire.
Atrocious music.
Anyone I know from Cork who's gone to Coppers says it's like a worse version of Reardens. The above describes Reardens so on the strength of those testimonies I won't be going to Coppers. Ever.

Piste

It has taken me 23 pages to cop on to why people said the baby should be caled "Jackie" >.<




Fast forward three weeks and there'll be some guy on the Ray Foley show saying "Uuuh I conracted HIV about 14 months ago...I've narrowed it down to either the 20th or 21 of April 2007..."

Then there'll be lulz aplenty!






It'll still be her fault though

melekalikimaka

Piste wrote: »

It has taken me 23 pages to cop on to why people said the baby should be caled "Jackie" >.<

:rolleyes:

Dragan

Moonbaby wrote: »

How would it shatter your life?

Because right now i am in absolutely no place to look after a young life and i am honest enough with myself to realise i'm at a pretty selfish point right now.

I need to take care of some things and do somethings before i could even think about getting myself into a family orientated situation.

Frankly, a child would be a stress i would be unable to handle or deal with.

Piste

melekalikimaka wrote: »

:rolleyes:

It had me worried cos my parents said they almost called me Jackie...but that's cos I was conceived during Italia '90...

Dun laoire

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k185/Dunlaoire/71pf5.gif

melekalikimaka

Dun laoire wrote: »

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k185/Dunlaoire/71pf5.gif

LMAO

roccabella

Just reading some of the replies here, and its really shocking how rude and ignorant some people are. A paedophile might not have been slated as much as she has been here.
whats wrong with the girl trying to find the baby's dad? when that baby girl is 18 years old and if she decided to find her dad it would be next to impossible at that stage. Now is probably the mothers best chance. Even for his medical history in case it would be of use for the babys health. It is his right too to know he has a baby. I think some of the guys that responded were like WTF cos it could easily have been them, they've been in that situation of a one night stand before perhaps.

RugbyFanatic

Two inciddents happened to me at Coppers that made me never ever want to pull there again.

Firstly I honestly don't know if its the type that frequent Coppers, a coincidence or maybe boggers truly are naive but two girls I pulled there :

One bombarded me with texts the next day saying she felt pregnant hours after we did the business. She wanted me to meet her family I was like WTF

The other is more recent, she texted me asking whether she should get the morning after pill when all we did was oral sex

thefinalstage

RugbyFanatic wrote: »

Two inciddents happened to me at Coppers that made me never ever want to pull there again.

Firstly I honestly don't know if its the type that frequent Coppers, a coincidence or maybe boggers truly are naive but two girls I pulled there :

One bombarded me with texts the next day saying she felt pregnant hours after we did the business. She wanted me to meet her family I was like WTF

The other is more recent, she texted me asking whether she should get the morning after pill when all we did was oral sex

Catholic country girls. ooooooo

thelastangryman

thelastangryman wrote: »

Catholic country girls. ooooooo

We were all the rage before those hot foreign birds too over yer fantasies.

Acid_Violet

DarkJager wrote: »

So she acted the slut and now wants to find the guy so she can reap the maintenance payments from him? Sounds like a nice girl alright.

What an enlightened and non-judgemental comment to make....

kowloon

Moonbaby wrote: »

We were all the rage before those hot foreign birds too over yer fantasies.

Don't worry, the best of us still dig the country girls.