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Coco Pops

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  • 04-07-2008 10:48am
    #1
    Mackman
    Registered Users Posts: 1,810 ✭✭✭


    Two brothers, Johnny (9) and Timmy (6), decide one morning that they are going to start cursing,they figure daddy's always at it so why shouldn't they. So that morning they go down to the kitchen where their mother is making breakfast, the mother asks Johnny,
    "what do you want for beakfast Johnny?"
    johnny replies,
    "Sh*t Mom i think ill have some Coco Pops"
    she whacks him accross the head, sends him flying! he runs up to his room crying,then she asks Timmy,
    "and what will YOU have for breakfast???" timmy replies
    "well it wont be f*cking Coco pops anyway!"

    Three tortoise, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.
    Thetrouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there. When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener."
    "I didn't bring it," says Les. "I thought you packed it."
    Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the
    bottle opener??"
    Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home
    without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets
    off down the road at a steady pace. Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan starving, but a promise is a promise. Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........








    "I KNEW IT!!!!......I'M NOT F*CKING GOING!"

    Little Johnny's neighbours had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
    When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
    His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.
    Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
    When Little Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
    The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
    Little Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes."
    The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
    "Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.
    The mother proudly replied, "Yes. We are so thankful. The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision"
    Little Johnny replied, "That's great... cuz he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses."

    :pac::pac::pac:


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