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Seven year itch

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  • 04-07-2008 4:17pm
    #1
    ntlbell
    Registered Users Posts: 16,288 ✭✭✭✭


    So a lot of couples seem to break up after seven years and another one becoming pretty common is four years.

    I had a relationship that lasted seven years and I'm really non the wiser

    Does anyone know the cause of this? are men more effected by it than women?

    I blamed it on we were so young when we first got together that we were two totally deferent people by the end of the 7 years

    anyone any ideas?


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    #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    ntlbell wrote: »
    So a lot of couples seem to break up after seven years and another one becoming pretty common is four years.

    I had a relationship that lasted seven years and I'm really non the wiser

    Does anyone know the cause of this? are men more effected by it than women?

    I blamed it on we were so young when we first got together that we were two totally deferent people by the end of the 7 years

    anyone any ideas?
    I think its because you change. Like you say you become different people. I dont think it matters what age you begin at, you change all your life anyway. If as a couple you can't reset the rules and the way you are with each other, you may well end up splitting. In order not to you have to continually change and adapt and refresh what you have together.

    I dont see it as a seven year thing anymore, Ive seen couples split after one year, or twenty. It all depends on whether they lose track of each other as life progresses, or not.

    And I am currently married 6 years 3 months......:(


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    #3
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    they're just silly excuses to fall back on.
    Seriously... 7 year itch?
    Load of pants!
    If you think negatively, you'll focus on more of the bad and be convinced you're not for each other.

    You're gonna get an 'itch' at anything in your life.
    That includes your job, where you live, hobbies etc...
    You may need to tweak a few things to 'scratch' that itch away.


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    #4
    ntlbell
    Registered Users Posts: 16,288 ✭✭✭✭ntlbell


    whiskeyman wrote: »
    they're just silly excuses to fall back on.
    Seriously... 7 year itch?
    Load of pants!
    If you think negatively, you'll focus on more of the bad and be convinced you're not for each other.

    You're gonna get an 'itch' at anything in your life.
    That includes your job, where you live, hobbies etc...
    You may need to tweak a few things to 'scratch' that itch away.

    of course it's a bit nonseney and not something I'm currently worried about, nor did I even know what a 7 year itch was when i broke up with her.

    But it does seem to be a very common time frame where folk break up, i'm sure there's people that break up after 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 etc

    but I mostly seem to hear 7 i can't think of any people i know who broke up after 5/6/8/9 years, but no loads at 7 there must be SOMETHING in it


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    #5
    RedXIV
    Registered Users Posts: 8,438 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    hmmm let me see....

    on average, my relationships seem to last about 4 months so i'm gonna say it's all nuts because i haven't even had the chance to get to 7 years :D


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    #6
    TeletextPear
    Registered Users Posts: 2,413 ✭✭✭TeletextPear


    i went through a phase where all of my friends had relationships end after 13 months... it was like hitting the one year mark put the fear on them or something haha :) personally ive never made it past about 8 months so i cant comment!


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    #7
    peanut66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭peanut66


    I broke up with my bf after 6 years just last november. At the time thought it would last for ever (as u do)
    We got together young enough, at 18 and the first 4.5 years were pretty good.

    I do think a lot of it is to do with growing up and growing apart though. I moved jobs to a different county and it kinda opened my eyes to stuff i really wanted to do and was missing out on the way i was. Maybe some people dont work hard enough at their relationships and run at the first sign of trouble and then you have people that meet one person that they stay with for ever.

    It depends on the people and the circumstances, the next person you meet you could be stuck with for life. :eek: :D


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    #8
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    I've had a 7 yearer and a 4 yearer, i'm doomed I tells ya!


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    #9
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,166 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    My wife left me after 7 years (and 3 months) of marriage. She must have been a saint to stay the extra 3 months. :D

    I'd say it might have something to do with the physical attraction waning after this period. If there's no love to fall back on it's history...


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    #10
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,161 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    The honeymoon period lasts anywhere between 6 months to 3 years. Then the relationship has to change gear into the longer term companionship(with passion) type thing, maybe aimed at a permanent thing(marriage/moving in together etc). That crossover is a tough one so a lot fail at that hurdle.

    Then the ones that get through that may find a few years down the line that nothing has changed and the relationship has run it's course or is not adding anything to the sum of it's parts, then they fail at that hurdle. usually between 5 and 7 years.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #11
    scoot on
    Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭scoot on


    It must be really hard breaking up with someone after 7 years. I don't know if I could do it. You're such a part of each others lives at that stage.


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    #12
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,657 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    I just read in a book that it's because in 7 years from today, every cell in your body will have regenerated at least once. Thus, after 7 years, nothing remains that was there when you first met/got married/whatever.

    Sounds like bollox though.


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    #13
    omb0wyn5ehpij9
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,095 ✭✭✭✭omb0wyn5ehpij9


    whiskeyman wrote: »
    they're just silly excuses to fall back on.
    Seriously... 7 year itch?
    Load of pants!
    If you think negatively, you'll focus on more of the bad and be convinced you're not for each other.

    You're gonna get an 'itch' at anything in your life.
    That includes your job, where you live, hobbies etc...
    You may need to tweak a few things to 'scratch' that itch away.

    Totally agree with you on this one


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    #14
    Quality
    Registered Users Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    I am with Mr Quality 13 years this year.... Only married for one though...


    So where do I count from... the going out... or the married.

    Can you have a 7 year itch every 7 years?? Come to think of it, he is starting to annoy me lately... It could be my hormones though.:(


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    #15
    KTRIC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    Faith wrote: »
    I just read in a book that it's because in 7 years from today, every cell in your body will have regenerated at least once. Thus, after 7 years, nothing remains that was there when you first met/got married/whatever.

    Sounds like bollox though.

    Yes, completely true Faith. For once I agree with you. ;)


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    #16
    Damzilla
    Closed Accounts Posts: 150 ✭✭Damzilla


    scoot on wrote: »
    It must be really hard breaking up with someone after 7 years. I don't know if I could do it. You're such a part of each others lives at that stage.

    Am going through it at the moment. Broke up after seven years and two months! It sucks believe me. Especially when there is a house involved and it's impossible not to have some level of contact.:(


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