Children's squabbles.

Quality

Just a query...

How do you deal with children fighting, ie when out playing on the road.

In the case of

Cursing at each other..

Hitting..

Name calling or excluding..

Do you ignore it?

Approach the children?

Approach the parents?

Just wondering what other peoples views are on this..:D

LadyE

DS isnt at the stage where he is goig out playing, am dreading the day tbh, but he does have little fights with his cousin. Breaks my heart to be honest, he is a very sensitive boy, doesnt help when his cousin will just walk over to him and give him a whack of the head :mad:, but he usually comes to me upset about it, even if its name calling, which he gets upset about too..Its not really my place to approach the child, I think that would be awful, and because they are cuosins you can give them a push to "make friends".



I dont know what Id do in a playground situation though, so will be watching this thread with interest.

TequilaMockingBird

What I try to do in those situations is teach my child how to deal with it herself. I'm not going to be with her in the school playground, parties etc and she's going to have to learn to cope with it herself. Personally I wouldn't approach the parents or children except in extreme circumstances.

I just try to get her to treat people how she would like to be treated, with manners, kindness and respect. As for the physical side of it, she's been taught not to tolerate it. Go to whomever is in charge and tell. With girls her age though (7) its fairly subtle (bitchy even), more the excluding her, little cliques, mean names etc, so she is just learning not to be gullible and to stand up for herself.

Good luck with it and I too will be watching here for any advice.

deisemum

I generally go along the same route as sueme, the only difference I've encountered is that girls tend to be far more manipulative than boys and very quick to approach an adult to complain where as boys are generally more reluctant to be seen as a "tell tell tattler", they'd generally put up with the offence than do as they're taught in the Stay Safe programme in primary school. I have also found that boys will forget about rows/fights etc very quickly and be best friends again very quickly but girls can often bear a grudge or file it away in their memory, I can still remember whoever crossed me from my primary school days and I'm in my 40's

With younger children I try and encourage them to share and play nicely but they'd be supervised if playing on the road.

I think once they're old enough to play outside without constant supervision then I think parents need to be careful not to wade in for every little squabble, they need to learn to resolve things themselves. Also some of the time I'd have heard what sounded like world war 3 going on in the playroom so I'd go charging in thinking someone must be seriously injured but they'd only be mess fighting or wrestling. I do think boys are more physical.

I'd only approach a parent in extreme circumstances as it has been known that parents can fall out over what their children were up to only for the children to be best friends again often within minutes. Fortunately the parents of the children who play outside the front of my house or neighbours houses are good neighbours and we generally have the same way of dealing with any minor squabble and let them sort it out themselves, thank god we've never had any big conflict and not too many minor squabbles.

This year I've learnt from my almost 13 year old son that girls are no longer pains in the ass once they entered 6th class. I'm now at the stage of having giggling girls walking past the house and looking in. God bless his innocence

Weidii

When we were kids one of the girls on the street used to get bullied alot, she was always excluded and called names, etc. The funny thing is, her mother was the only mother who ever came out to give out to us about things (ie being too noisy, kicking the football into their garden). I'm not sure if there's a connection there, but the poor girl really suffered for it if there was.

I think what would have been good in that situation would have been if the mothers of the children doing the abuse had a word with their kids, ie. just explained that it's not good to exclude people.